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Why Hasn’t He Asked For My Number? (Online Dating)

Are you wondering why the guy you have been seeing for a while hasn’t asked for your number yet? Then check out this guide, which sheds light on how to tackle such a situation.

In the age of online dating, there’s one question that leaves many girls scratching their heads: “Why hasn’t he asked for my number?” 

Believe us, a lot of women have been in such a situation. Picture this: you’ve had a fantastic conversation with a guy who seems genuinely interested. The sparks are flying, and yet, he hasn’t asked for your number at the end of it all. 

As we navigate the digital landscape of modern romance, this seemingly simple concern can unleash a whirlwind of doubts and insecurities. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had a great chat or a series of engaging messages - the absence of this phone number request can leave you questioning his intentions and interest. 

In this article, we’ll delve into the nuances of online dating, exploring the reasons behind this enigmatic behavior and equipping you with strategies to navigate this digital dating conundrum.

Why Hasn’t He Asked For Your Number After You Have Connected On An Online Dating App?

To be honest, there can be several reasons behind why he hasn’t exchanged numbers with you yet. Below, we have discussed some of the reasons that may be making him feel hesitant to take this step.

1. Just A Flirt

Some individuals use dating apps as a form of entertainment rather than a platform for genuine connections. They may enjoy the thrill of conversation and flirting without any intention of moving things offline. For them, the interaction itself is the goal, and they might not see the need for sharing phone numbers or taking things further.

2. Low Self-Esteem

For most guys, a lack of self-confidence can be a significant barrier to taking the initiative and asking to exchange numbers. If the guy is not super attractive, he may doubt his appeal or worry about your interest levels. As such, he’ll be afraid that you might brush him off once he asks for your number. This aspect prevents him from making the first move in this case.

3. Mutual Friend Circles

If you both have one or more mutual friends on social media or share connections through dating apps, he might feel that there’s no immediate need to exchange phone numbers. He may believe he can continue the conversation and get to know you better through these shared connections.

4. Fear Of Rejection

The fear of rejection is a common human experience, and it affects both men and women. He might be afraid of hearing a “no” when he asks for your number, which could be emotionally challenging for him. 

5. Text Messages Are Enough

In today’s digital age, many people feel comfortable communicating primarily through text messages. Some individuals prefer this mode of communication as it offers a level of convenience and control that phone calls may not. He might genuinely believe that text messaging suffices for getting to know someone.

6. No Right Mindset For Dating

Life circumstances and personal issues can impact someone’s readiness for dating. If he’s currently dealing with challenges or doesn’t have the right mindset for dating, he may not be eager to move the conversation beyond the dating app.

7. Waiting For The Second Date

Some individuals prefer not to exchange numbers right on the first date or after only a few interactions. They might decide to wait a bit longer to make the process feel more organic. In other words, they may ask for your number after you have been on two dates together. This means that they want to take it slow and ensure there’s genuine chemistry in person before taking things offline.

8. Shyness Around The Opposite Sex

Shyness or social anxiety can be powerful obstacles to initiating contact. Many guys may have a more confident persona in the virtual space, but in real life, they may be quite shy and reserved. If your crush falls into this category, he may feel a bit hesitant, especially around the opposite sex. Because of that, he may find it challenging to take the step of asking for your number.

9. Expecting You To Make The First Move

Modern dating has evolved, and many women are comfortable making the first move. As a result, he might be waiting for you to take the initiative in suggesting the exchange of phone numbers, believing that it’s your decision to make.

What Can You Do If He Doesn’t Ask For Your Number?

We understand how frustrating it might feel if the cute guy you like avoids asking for your number. However, it is important to act calmly and confidently in his situation instead of making rash decisions. You can consider some of the strategies below to tackle such an impasse.

1. Suggest Meeting In Person

If you’ve been talking for a while and sense a connection, consider suggesting a real-life meeting. You could say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed our conversations. How about we meet up for coffee or a drink next week on Saturday night?” This approach can help you gauge his interest in taking things offline.

2. Ask For His Number Directly

If you feel comfortable and confident, don’t hesitate to ask for his number yourself. A simple, “Hey, would you mind sharing your number so we can continue chatting outside the app?” can do the trick. This shows your interest and may prompt him to reciprocate.

3. Share Your Own Number

Another way to approach it is by giving him your number and saying, “Feel free to reach out anytime you’d like to chat outside the app.” This takes the pressure off him and sends a clear message of your interest in him. Besides, it leaves the next move in his hands, allowing you to gauge his interest level.

4. Be Honest And Direct

Honesty is often the best policy when it comes to dating guys (or girls, for that matter). You can express your thoughts openly by saying, “I’ve been enjoying our conversations, and I’d love to hear your voice or text you sometime. Can we exchange numbers?” Being direct can help cut through any uncertainties.

5. Wait A Bit Longer

If you’ve only been talking for a short time, it might be worth waiting a bit longer before making any moves. It is always a good idea to get to know someone better before sharing their contact information.

6. Consider His Communication Style

It is important that you reflect on the style of communication he prefers. If he’s more comfortable with text messages and hasn’t hinted at phone calls, then it is better that you continue to talk on the app for a while.

7. Initiate A Fun Activity

Suggest engaging in an activity together, such as playing an online game, watching a movie simultaneously, or participating in a virtual event. All the stuff that you do together can create opportunities for more personal interaction and potentially lead to the exchange of numbers.

8. Respect His Boundaries

At this point, it is important to respect his pace and boundaries. If he has mentioned that he’s not comfortable sharing his number just yet, don’t push too hard. If you cross the line and act aggressively, then you might come off as a pushy or manipulative woman. As a result, he may start to avoid you completely, which will be counterproductive.

9. Keep The Conversation Engaging

Continue to have meaningful and engaging conversations. Share your thoughts, interests, and experiences to build a stronger connection. The more he gets to know you, the more likely he may be to want to take things to the next level.

10. Don’t Overthink It

Sometimes, we tend to overanalyze situations, which can make us stressed and totally hopeless. So, instead of guessing why he hasn’t asked for your number, focus on enjoying the interactions you have. If a connection is meant to happen, it will naturally progress.

11. Maintain A Positive Outlook

It is crucial to maintain a positive outlook on dating instead of chasing men pointlessly. Remember that there are plenty of opportunities to meet interesting people and potentially find a real connection. So, whatever the outcome with this particular guy, there is no need to lose hope or get disappointed. Always keep your options open and continue exploring other potential matches on the dating app. 


In the intricate realm of online dating, the question of why he hasn’t asked for your number may have various answers, each as unique as the individuals involved. 

Whether it’s hesitation, differing communication styles, or simply waiting for the right moment, understanding the complexities of modern dating can be empowering. Taking the initiative, building genuine connections, and communicating openly can pave the way for meaningful interactions. 

Remember, dating is a journey, and while it may not always unfold as expected, it offers valuable lessons and opportunities for growth. So, trust your instincts, stay open-minded, and embrace the adventure of discovering genuine connections in the digital age.

Ahiri Chakraborty

Senior Writer

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