My Girlfriend Texts Her Guy Friend Every Day (Here's What to Do)Your girlfriend’s best friend is a male. There is nothing out of the ordinary about it. Most girls find other girls hypocritical and gel better with guys. Have faith in your love and don’t disappoint her. If you feel the need, express your feelings to come to an understanding.
If your relationship is young, you might face difficulty coping with complexities where you see your partner sharing things more often with their best friend than with you. Such can be your case. Your girlfriend might text a guy who is her good friend, religiously every day to talk about things.
While it might take a toll on your mental health if you think it too deeply, it can as easily be resolved when you come to understand the reasons for it. Hence, don’t strain yourself now. In this blog post, I will help you figure out why your girlfriend texts her guy friend every day and what can you do about it if and when it troubles you.
Keep reading to know more.
Reasons why your girlfriend texts her guy friend every day
She is close to him and has known him for a long time. He didn't happen to her overnight. There is priority and love. They are each other's support system and if he is going through something, she will support him, and you should support her.
Continue reading below to know more.
#1 He is her best friend
She is comfortable with him and they have been sharing this equation for a long time, changing it overnight won’t be that easy. For that, you will have to fill up that spot. Make your girlfriend comfortable and cozy with you. She should not feel judged. See if she pauses for a minute before she articulates her thoughts before you.
Whereas, on the one hand, it can be a healthy practice for the long term, at the moment, it can crawl on your nerve. You need to encourage and push her forward to open up with you.
Try to understand that merely being together or making a commitment is not everything. You need to take things one step at a time. Most importantly, everything is in your mind. It is all about how you predict things. The truth is relative. Yours might differ from hers.
It is important to give her time to absorb you and make space for you, however, ensure that it doesn't become overwhelming either. Whatever it is that the guy would do for her, you do it beforehand.
If he reminds her of her schedule, or to drink water, you go a step ahead and design her a planner. If all this seems too petty to you, don't bother. Remember, there is a reason why she is not dating him but you. Focus on that aspect and strengthen it.
#2 He is patient
If you fail to understand or share her point of view, or you are not a good listener, she will stop expecting it out of you and find an alternative for herself.
They don't like to expect and keep getting disappointed all the time. They understand that you cannot give them everything all the time. Hence, they set a limit and operate it.
They won't keep pushing you to the edge repetitively if they can see that it tests your patience. In such cases, automatically if they have a good friend or a close buddy, they will try to reach out to them.
Here you need to understand the need for such a vacuum. Merely being possessive and insecure about everything will not help you. Try to understand what is troubling you in the first place.
It might be that they are not sharing their problems with you or talking more to someone else. Now ask yourself what you can do about it.
You can perhaps be more available, kind, and understanding. But if you do it forcefully or without true intentions, the equation will return to square one again. They cannot afford to lose their best friend as a constant companion and rely on you completely if you give her mixed vibes or treat her as per your mood.
Relationship counseling will be too much of a requirement at this stage but personal counseling, maintaining a journal about your thoughts, practicing deep breathing exercises, and keeping yourself busy will help you a great deal.
You need to stop taking them as your entire life. They are a part of your life. Such problems happen when you become a climber. You need the constant support of a person. They will feel the heaviness of your weight. Nobody likes constant nudging. You need to stop bugging them. Instead, give them more space to naturally want you in their life.
#3 He is already committed
Perhaps your girlfriend doesn't mind talking to her best friend because he is also seeing someone. Since they both are committed to two different people, it won't occur to her that you might hold butter feelings or be jealous of her best friend.
What she might not understand is that jealousy need not be between rivals alone. It is a tug of war for attention just like sibling rivalry.
You get uncomfortable because you intend to make this long-term decision and your girlfriend is spending longer hours with another man. You can find a suitable opportunity and express your feelings to her.
You don't need to bring her best friend in between your conversations. She should not feel that you are targeting her. Instead, tell her that you intend to spend more time with her. Your intention should be grounded in love. It should be an expression based on care and concern. Her heart will melt and if she is keeping some hard feelings or grudges against you, she will lighten her grip and become more candid with you.
#4 He is more than a friend
Your girlfriend may have soft feelings for him but he is already committed to someone who he adores. You might be witnessing a love triangle here. Your girlfriend might have just taken you to keep herself distracted or to see the effect on her guy friend.
If she has never dated before and the guy has always been her best friend, he might not realize what are his true feelings for her. She is trying to see if she has been living in a bubble or whether it is true that he likes her too.
It is unfair of her to use you as a prop. She might be aware of that and to be not guilty of her conscience, she might interact with you less. It has an additional benefit. When you confront her someday, she won’t hesitate in showing you the exit game. She will tell you that she is not forcefully keeping you in her life, you are there out of your choice.
If the case stands so, your girlfriend is a toxic person. She might not even stay faithful to you. She is determined to secure her best friend as her boyfriend. If you are getting such strong vibes, dump her. You don’t need to convey at first that you have broken up with her.
See her reaction or when does it occur to her that you aren’t calling or texting her? If it is within 24 hours, you mean something to her. If not, you can put it as simply as you are done with her. If she breaks down and tries to hold you back, be gentle in expressing the challenges that you are facing with her and tell her that she might not be aware but she is not ready for a relationship yet.
If she insists on staying, don’t ask her to choose between yourself and her best friend because that will be very shallow, but instead, request her to spend more time with you. In a month, you will know the result. You can take the flow of action ahead accordingly.
#5 She likes the attention
Perhaps it is not just her best friend but any guy friend that your girlfriend likes to talk to. These are the signs of having high libido where your girlfriend not only wants to keep you but simultaneously secure the attention of any and every guy she can.
You will find her need for attention makes her fidgety and restless. If she is being neglected or not asked enough times how her day went, she will try to gain sympathy or nudge you to no end.
At first, you might find this behavior cute and might take extra pains to give her all that she needs. However, with time, you might lose your calm and find it annoying. As a result, you might avoid talking to her.
If her best friend is attracted to her, he will want to take superior advantage of this moment. He will find ways to keep her engaged with him. He will deliberately pose in such a way with her that it shall boil your blood. If you try to shake him off, your girlfriend might find you disgusting and break up with you instantly.
It is a tricky situation and you will have to take well-calculated steps here. You might not want to give a bad impression to your girlfriend. Plus, if the words go out, it will be hard to secure another girl easily. They will all take you to be too assertive and narrow-minded to date in the 21st century.
#6 They flirt carelessly
If your girlfriend and her best friend like to tease and flirt carelessly with one another but hold no strong feelings for each other, when you tell them how you feel when you see them together, they might laugh at you.
Such a thought might feel absurd to them because they never thought about each other in that light. It is just careless banter between two grown-ups. As such, even if you flirt with your friends or your girlfriend's friends, I doubt that your girlfriend would mind.
If anything, this sort of exchange should remind your girlfriend why she chose you over everyone else. It would remind you how precious she is to you. That, further, will push you to go and claim your girlfriend and show the other guys where they stand.
#7 He is in a different city
Your girlfriend might be so busy talking to her best friend because he has recently moved to a new city or undertaken a new enterprise and she likes to check on him. For all you know, he might be like a family to her.
Half-knowledge is worse than empty knowledge. Hence, perhaps talk to your girlfriend about her best friend and get to know about him. This would include all the preliminary details of the background checkup.
How and when they met, what does he do, where does he live, who does he live with, whether he is seeing someone, and what keeps their friendship going. The last one is the most important but it shouldn't be asked at first. You need to arrive at it with the help of supporting questions. Your girlfriend should not feel alarmed or threatened. It should look like a friendly exchange and you should not force it if she is not willing to share at once.
#8 She needs his help
Perhaps all your girlfriend might be doing is naively buttering the guy by acting as his best friend so that he helps her with something. This could either be a promotional scheme or information-seeking agenda.
Understanding if your girlfriend is ambitious or in some trouble, will help you to read the situation better. Offer to help her.
If it's work, you can share her load by doing the chores. If it's something else, you can understand nature and give her suggestions. If both of your fields differ, she might get inclined towards someone who will be able to help and suggest her better.
Rather than holding grudges here, try to get your girlfriend's point of view. She loves you and perhaps spends as much time as possible with you. Appreciate what you have and you will feel happy and content.
#9 He is going through a difficult stage
Your girlfriend may be giving her best friend emotional support. He might have recently had a breakup and she is helping him sail through post-breakup trauma or illness or loss of some family member.
The case becomes worse when he is lonely. If he is lonesome, he would keep trying to pull your girlfriend towards himself. He won't let go of her unless he finds someone new, she readily stops meeting her, or you confront both of them.
Confronting them might not go well, no matter how much planning you do. Hence, see if the matter dissolves automatically. If it doesn't, you don't have much choice. The best thing to do here might be to feel for him and visit him with your girlfriend. Build up a brotherly code so that you don't have to worry about the cheating aspect as he will become morally tied to you. If not, find someone who can take the space of your girlfriend. Fix him on a blind date, or make him meet with your friends.
#10 You don’t share that emotional equation with her
Perhaps your girlfriend's best friend understands her better than you do. This might be when you take a lot of time in opening up to her. In such a scenario, it is not your girlfriend who is keeping things from you. She might be a chatterbox. But you don't quite listen to her.
You neither give her feedback nor do you share any similar experience. She goes on and on like a tornado and then she believes it best to narrate it to someone who will give her something more than a nod.
She might also be doing all this deliberately so that you make the wall a little porous for her. She wants to know what has gone into making you. She wants to learn about your past. Did you ever love someone madly? What was so tragic that you are not able to give the same love to your girlfriend? Don't you think it might break her down to see you like that?
It is never quite late to make amends. Give your girlfriend the love she deserves. Don't let your past control or change your behavior. She deserves better than that and both of you know it well. If she has stopped texting or contacting you midday, it might be because you make her sad. To know more, click on the link - My Girlfriend Doesn't Text Me Like She Used To (Problem Solutions).
#11 She thinks you will dump her
Perhaps your girlfriend feels constantly insecure with you. This might be because you are secretive or because you don't prioritize her enough. Hence, she fills that space by talking to her best friend.
She might even be using her best friend as her backup option if he likes her. It makes her confident. To think that there is more than one guy who favors you over others could give an empowering sense to some women and make others pukish.
This shows that your girlfriend lacks self-confidence. A woman mostly lacks this when she is not ambitious and hasn’t had her share of achievements. However, this is not something that you need to hold a condescending attitude towards. You can instead help her find the right directions.
If you want this to work, you will have to make it larger than the two of you. It should be dynamic and inculcate growth for both of you in all manners possible. Anything linear will draw you towards stagnation. To know more, click on the link - My Girlfriend Thinks I Will Leave Her (Here's Exactly Why).
#12 You talk to your ex
If you talk to your ex and are on good terms with her, your girlfriend can for sure talk to her best friend. She is giving you a discount here.
Girls become too jealous if you compare them with others or value others before them. The same will be the case for your girlfriend.
Once you start spending more time with her, introducing her proudly to others, and giving the priority, you will realize that he behavior has undergone a tremendous change and she will not humor any man including her best friend.
She will start holding you as close as you did. You will understand that it was a mere lack of love and care from your end that was causing all the troubles.
#13 You cheated on her
If you cheated on your girlfriend, she will find out every opportunity to get back at you. As such, you will be surprised to see that even if your girl didn't care for her best friend much, she will act as if he means the world to her.
Ego plays an important role here. When you hurt or damage it, mishappenings are bound to happen. You might wonder that if you have hurt her ego by cheating on her, why is she still committed to you?
Let me clear the dust here. It is because she wants to hurt you as much as you hurt her if not more. Once she is satisfied, if she doesn't notice any change in your behavior, she will dump you for good.
#14 He stalks you for her
There is a tad bit of possibility that your girlfriend's best friend stalks you and gives every detail about your doings and undoings to your girlfriend.
This happens when she has trust issues. If your girlfriend always knows the right answer and you are unable to confront her behavior because she always does nice to you, she doesn't disappoint you in any way, you find your mental peace with her, and you can see it in her eyes that she loves you.
While she might not mean any damage and love you genuinely, there is a possibility that they are a team and want to rob you of your riches. Perhaps check her identification proof and see how genuine she is.
#15 They cannot commit to a relationship
Perhaps your girlfriend and her best friend are fond of each other but they cannot commit to a relationship because of some past complexities or some family issues.
As such, both of them might take a partner to keep themselves distracted and happy. However, the emotional peace and stability that they find with each other, they don't get it anywhere else.
You need not be hopeless here. Eventually, they will outgrow the bond and pay more attention to their relationship with you rather than meandering anywhere else.
Besides, you can always demand the right treatment by loving them more and better than your best friend. That's when they should know what you mean to them.
#16 You keep demanding space in the relationship
If you are secretive and shady in your conduct with your girlfriend and you don’t open up to her frankly, she might need someone from the opposite gender to help her interpret your conduct. They study you when they talk.
This is a common tendency that is followed by people all around the world. They study their partner's odd behaviors as a case study with others.
Anyone who is an overthinker would resort to such a mechanism. It keeps their system clear and keeps them going. What you need to do here is create enough space so that your girlfriend can discuss all her challenges with you directly rather than satisfy herself in a roundabout manner.
If both of you feel hesitation and difficulty in opening up with each other, you can use the mode of poetry or letters to make this sad process beautiful. It helps to render your negative thoughts in a positive outlet.
#17 They both are jobless
Perhaps your girlfriend and her best friend have nothing better to do but gossip. Besides, the guy might be a homosexual. What you can do to help them here is give them start-up ideas based on their mutual interest.
From your end, you can be an investor. This will build trust among all of you. You will hold a fair share of the company. You will get a chair at the table with them and you will own it. They will respect you and you will become a leading example of the right boyfriend in your girlfriend’s group.
This will devoid them of free time and futile tasks. When they become more productive, you will be able to enjoy their company better. Chats and talks with them will become a brainstorming session. It will enable all of you to be more positive in life rather than skeptical.
What to do when your girlfriend texts her guy friend every day?
If your girlfriend texts her guy friend religiously, you can check on her by keeping her busy on a call with you. This will give her less time to spend with him and more to spend with you. Eventually, her guy friend will understand that she is taking him lightly, might get offended, and move on in his life.
To know more, continue reading below.
#1 Text her more often
Texting her more often will help you to see who she prioritizes. If she is just bored, she will easily switch her chatting window to you. If the matter is something else, her replies will be slow and lazy.
Either way, it will help you to reach a point where you can come to an understanding with her in slow and steady steps. This will be like a growth in the relationship. You won’t boom to the peak at once. If you do, it is not real. Avoid any kind of facade and do the real deal so that it stays and keeps you going for a long time.
Your texts could be about her day, and her plans, and you can exchange pictures about the workplace. Don’t make it monotonous. It could be an exchange of memes or tagging her in cheesy posts. Read the vibe and mark her comfort with whatever you do.
#2 Read the chats
If your girlfriend allows you to handle her phone and is not secretive about anything, you can read the chats between her and her guy friend. This will give you an overview of what they talk about and clear most of your doubts. If she is not secretive about it, there is nothing to hide.
When you keep the pins of your devices known to each other, it shows remarkable respect and a desire to trust each other. You can use it to make your relationship stronger. It will be well put and organized. You will be able to candidly discuss things. There might be difficult conversations at times, but such conversations will enable you to take things smoothly forward.
#3 Ask her the reason
It is not as difficult as it may seem. This is the easy way out of the problem. Asking your girlfriend directly about what troubles her so much is better than making wild guesses about it. Moreover, deliberate upon why she would not confide her troubles in you.
What is keeping her from sharing her problems with you should be fixed immediately. A relationship has many dynamics, you should fulfill all the dynamics to make it worthy of your time. When you limit yourself to any one stringent aspect of it, you are preventing it from growing and making it linear and boring. It should be more of a crossplay among people.
#4 Take her feedback
You can always take your girlfriend’s feedback on how you can improve as a boyfriend. This is a step towards positive affirmations. It is a necessary conversation that will foster nourishment and prevent any grudges that you might hold against each other which might come across as passive aggression later.
You and your girlfriend should be able to engage in candid exchanges about the challenges that you face. When you take feedback from her, she might as well ask one from you. In that case, don’t let out all your emotions running at once. Focus on any one element that is you the most.
It will bring you a wonderful opportunity to discuss the case of her relationship with her guy friend. When you try to infuse a turmoil of verbose between you and her, she will go into an area of shock and think that she has been living in a bubble as she had assumed that everything is picture perfect between both of you.
#5 Find her a job
If you feel that your girlfriend has a lot of free time and that is keeping her from doing anything productive, you can help her in securing a job. You can give startup ideas or some diplomatic courses that will make her resume strong.
She is sure to appreciate this gesture and will understand that you are a guy who talks sense and likes to mind business. Lethargy is not your forte. She will either have to meet up your expectations or leave you for good.
#6 Make out
Make out and spend more time with your girlfriend to see her reaction, comfort level, and if she chats or replies to her guy friend while sleeping with you. If yes, she has some serious issues.
It will allow you to discuss the matter at that very moment. You can address the issue and depending on her reaction, you can make the call.
If she goes in denial, you need a break from her. She needs a fix and can use a counselor for the same. If her answer is satisfactory or if she engaged you in the conversation, you will get a sound sleep.
#7 Befriend the guy
Become a good buddy with your girlfriend's guy friends. You can invite them over to parties, play cards wiand with them, go to sports or golf together. This will activate a brother code between you.
You won't have to go to your girlfriend to keep her in check or to know what she is doing. You can take the help of her friends to decode her behavior.
The moment you see that they gossip about their girlfriends, you can bag the opportunity. The bonus is that you can deviate some of the tidbits to your girlfriend who loves gossip.
She will adore you and start messaging and calling you without any deliberation from your side. The code is to play it smart rather than get aggressive about it.
#8 Fix him a girl
If there is this particular friend of your girlfriend who nags her too much because he doesn't have any other girl in his life, you can always fix him up, send him on blind dates, and make him meet your friends.
There are many ways to help this guy. You can help him in securing a companion based on his interests. Your girlfriend will also appreciate this. Then, all of you can go on double dates together.
#9 Express your concern
You can always express your concerns politely to your girlfriend. Since she has taken you as her boyfriend, she will want to keep you happy.
It will also give you a clue about what her core intentions are for you. If she is merely trying to fool around and you are not up for it, make it clear.
Your approach should neither be too stern nor too friendly. She should feel you. The approach should be such that she is pushed to walk into your shoes willingly and make the call emphatically.
#10 Play your part
If the process is too exhaustive, perhaps just go about playing your part here rather than getting too restless about it. She will see what you are doing and her heart will melt.
There is no play here and the hindsight cannot go compromised. It is always working subconsciously. Eventually, you will frame an equation where you don't need to mumble to share your desires.
There's this secret language that will keep you nourished. Set your goals and work on them. You will find her midway sooner or later.
You can always solve relationship issues with mindful conversations. Rather than making a hasty decision, and trying to wrap your head around everything all at once, take it one step at a time. She will appreciate it and both of you will get enough space to breathe.