My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself (21 Advice For You)

We look for a relationship because we want to feel happy about ourselves when we are with that person. Choosing a partner is one decision that one must be proud of to make. They should consider it to be their best decision. 

However, if you are in a relationship and you don't feel blessed enough to be with that person, it means that you are with the wrong person. Hence, do yourself a favor and find someone worthier. 

In this blog post, I'll help you figure out why it happens that you find yourself at a stagnant point with your partner when you feel that everything has changed and as if the person you had started dating and the person you are seeing now are two different people. 

Keep reading below to know more. 

What to do when your boyfriend makes you feel bad about yourself?

The first thing that you must do is ask yourself why are you with that guy. The least he can do is keep you happy, isn't he? Don't worry, you can shed all your woe by following the steps below. 

#1 Ask him if he is doing it intentionally 

What you need to know before giving a reaction or disheartening yourself when your boyfriend makes you feel bad about yourself is to confront him. Try to understand the purpose behind this. 

In a relationship, we are supposed to have each other’s back in thick and thin. Your boyfriend should be your support system as should be your boyfriend. But if that is not the case, figuring out what changed or led to the change is essential. 

When you show the courage to ask your boyfriend if he is letting you down intentionally, he will admire your guts even if he doesn’t appreciate it at the given moment. You are granting him an open house to talk and express his feelings. 

In such a scenario, there are either of the two things that your boyfriend would do. If he is interested in keeping you and loves you from the bottom of his heart, he will tell you what made him say or do such hurtful things. He might even apologize if he had done it unconsciously in an attempt to play the game of white lies. For instance, if he bad-mouthed you before his sister or his mother, it might have been because he is aware they will take some time in coming around and accepting you as a part of their family. This would be an instance when your boyfriend is trying to buy time but had he discussed it with you, you would have been able to devise a better plan to achieve the purpose. 

If your boyfriend is doing all this because he wants to break up with you, he will beat about the bush because he knows he is the guilty one here. The fact that you are feeling bad implies that you might not have done something that would break his heart. Hence, an open session where you both get to voice out your opinions and problems rather than debating or fighting with each other will help both of you to restore peace in your lives either together or individually but not at the cost of the other.

#2 Ask him what changed between when he started seeing you and now 

When you ask your boyfriend specific questions, you are guiding the conversation in a direction. When you keep the questions open-ended, in most cases, the speaker isn’t infuriated enough to answer or prefers to stay silent. Hence, when you give prompts and directs the conversation with specification, the speaker is pushed to talk. 

When you ask your boyfriend who keeps complaining like a petulant child about all the things that you don’t do for him or all the flaws that he sees in you or about all how you are not perfect in his opinion, he is trying to draw a comparison between you and someone who has left a deep impression on his mind lately. 

This third person might be someone with whom he is seeing future potential or who has got him distracted or with whom he has got infatuated. She might be his colleague or someone interested in him without bothering about his relationship status. Your boyfriend might be a pervert who wants to shun all his pride and commit guilty pleasures with the other person. However, deep inside, he is bothered by all the promises that he has made to you or too ashamed to make his recent conduct public. Hence, he might be planning on making you look like a bad woman and picture himself as a helpless man. 

If you are in a live-in relationship with your boyfriend, or if you keep an eye on his cell phone, and his social media handles, he might feel trapped and might behave in this manner for the want of space. Either way, what you need to do is edge the conversation so that h spills the beans and lets the fat cat out of the basket. You will get a free conscience and it will help you to move on in life.

#3 Ask him to suggest the next course of action 

If your boyfriend makes you feel bad about yourself about something specific, for instance, how you move, or how you talk, or about your figure, or your state of career, or your choice of friends, perhaps, you can ask your boyfriend to suggest the next course of action. 

In the passing, mention two things to him. First, it isn’t out of the blue that he has made this discovery for you were like this when he started dating you, and second, why was there a need to play the blame game when he can talk his heart out to you without any fear of judgment? 

What you need to note here is the frequency of this behavior. If he dislikes not one or two but most of the things about you, does he wants you to be a slave to his opinions? Or, would he prefer to toy with you as and when he likes without seeking your permission? 

Remember, each word you spill and every decision you make, and every non-sense behavior you put up with or the misconduct that you tolerate is going to go a long way in shaping your personality. The thumb rule of life is to not distribute free passes among the unworthy. Let them prove that they are worthy of your attention before welcoming them on the plane where you stand.

#4 Ask him to be candid about his feelings for you 

Regardless of the complaints, what you need to know is how he feels about the relationship and about you as a whole, that is, is he truly interested in building this up further with you or is he so pissed off that he wants to disengage himself at the earliest. 

A candid response from his part will help you to withdraw from the trouble and take the appropriate actions either in the course of recovery and mending or towards diversification. If the guy lacks the dignity to be upfront with you and fails to answer you in precise terms, he is unworthy of your time. Don’t tolerate him if he beats about the bush. 

He might want you to humor him but tell him in the simplest words that how he had made you feel recently will not allow you to cope with his bad behavior. It is either fight or fly situation. You can either save the relationship or annihilate it. 

#5 Take some time to evaluate his inputs 

You must not make haste in giving a response, taking a decision, or giving a reaction. An angry mind makes rash decisions. We are talking about your relationship here. You have invested more than part of yourself in this. It includes your efforts, time, money, devotion, love, and yourself. Hence, telling him that you need time and sitting alone to have an introspection about all he said and to weigh his words against your actions, is essential. 

Don’t be misguided by anyone here. Always pay weight to your heart but don’t let it fool you. You neither want to live in a bubble nor come across as a deluded human. Let us help you to root yourself in reality and to make the best of the situation. 

Where to start? Is it the first time that he has complained about something that you said or had done? If it is a reiteration, it would indicate that he has been patient in expressing his disapproval. Is it the first time that you have committed something that made him blurt out at you in condescension? What the deed that distasteful? Put yourself in his shoes, and try to think here. Had you been in his place, would you have done the same or was there a better possible way to handle the situation? If yes, can that be conveyed to him, or has the water crossed the mark and you would want to come out before it is too late? The answers to these questions will automatically lead you onward.

#6 Make a ledger to measure the pros against the cons before making the decision 

When you take the time to introspect, retrospect, and measure, sit with a pen and paper. Make two columns. In the first, write down all that is good about being with the guy you are seeing currently, and in the next column, write about all the challenges that you are facing in the relationship. 

Take another sheet of paper, write down all your expectations from a relationship, and write down all that you bring to the table when you are seeing someone. 

Now keep both the paper side by side and look for yourself. Are the positives undergoing the negatives or is it vice versa? Are you bringing your best at the moment in the relationship or is there something that you can do better? Is there something in particular that is refraining you from putting up your best efforts and behavior? Is it too personal or can it be shared with your boyfriend? Are you confident that your boyfriend can and will be willing to help you in putting yourself out of your misery? 

If yes, let go of your fear and tell him the other side of the story. If not, why are you with him? This strategy will not only help you in fixing the odds and figuring out the hiccups that are causing the degradation and disinclination of your current relationship but will prove to be a handful tool in the future too.

#7 Give him a break to realize your importance 

If you feel that describing your boyfriend the privileges that you have so kindly granted to him might enable him to realize your importance then perhaps you must do so. It is in human nature to underestimate the importance of a person or thing with every passing day. 

It is as if the beauty begins to fade. Or, the enchanting powers that it had had upon us nullify itself. These are the reasons that your boyfriend might propose before you when you ask him to rationalize his arguments. 

In reality, humans practice the art of objectification very skillfully. During this practice, they forget to bifurcate between animate and inanimate. This reflects the lack of depth in their character and they come across as shallow and dull creatures. 

However, we have a good part within each one of us. Not all is thorn and thistle, right? Hence, when you feel that from here on, things will only be more of thorns and less of dewdrops, take the honey from the sweet memories, make a honeycomb for your past stories, and move on while there is still time. 

#8 Never stop working on yourself 

Why arrive at a moment of crisis in the first place? Have your bad habits and procrastination caused this? Can we sort out our priorities and the first thing that we do on waking up and the last thing we do before going to bed to maintain an order of hierarchy till the moment we learn to change every wise decision that we make into our habits? 

The moment we change a course of action into a habit, it becomes less painstaking and more effective. You become unconscious of the efforts that you are putting in to make things even. Life becomes easy and more happening. Moreover, if you are happy and content, you will be in a better ability to keep others happy. 

It will prevent you from getting deep in the dump and you will be able to readily get out of situations without dirtying your hands. This, in turn, might directly or indirectly address your boyfriend’s problems. Sometimes, the only issue that he might be having is that you are not happy. Never allow your happiness to become a dependent factor on other people’s behavior. The day you take it upon yourself to be your savior, things will restore to fineness.

#9 Socialize more to stay open-minded 

You need to talk to people to avoid getting stuck with a set of notions that may be too narrow or obsolete in the given situation. What your boyfriend might be prophesying you to do is so old-school that even your hopeless romantic took a break to puke. 

In a relationship, neither of you can dictate the other. You need to be partners, not slaves or masters. There should be an equal sharing of roles without any disparity or discrimination. You should learn to think twice before certain actions and not even once before others. 

What you say to your boyfriend in a closed room when he is the only audience can take the privilege to be fundamentally different in taste than what you express before others. This does not make you a hypocrite. It makes you wise. 

Never begin your opinion with examples. This shows that those are borrowed opinions. You need to give your boyfriend the original quality of who and what you are. To explain your point better, in the course of briefing him, you can use extended metaphors. However, if you want to make your point impactful, ask him if he could relate to it or if in his eyes this is a common practice. He will himself come up with examples to give credibility to your notions. Don’t hassle with hard work when you can triumph with smart play.

#10 Talk to your friends to understand their dating challenges 

Perhaps what you need is a little prep talk from your friends. You need to vent out. You have been bottled up for so long that now whatever you speak or say tastes bitter in content. If you are finding it difficult to maintain a work-life balance, your friends must have faced the challenge too. 

Talking to them will give you exposure to the work culture and you will realize that not everything is meant to be taken with so much seriousness after all, that the workload can be kept for the next day, and that your office matters should not hamper your resting time with your soulmate. 

Displaced aggression is the most common problem and most often it is the one we are closest with we hurt the most. Your boyfriend won’t get hurt as much if you learn to practice voice modulation and try to explain to him that you are merely trying to vent out rather than looking for an opinion. It is not your boyfriend’s task to fix all your problems. However, he should try to sit through those problems with you to give you company.

#11 Be optimistic in life by not giving up easily on people or situations 

You need to be very firm and stubborn in terms of staying boosted up with your dose of optimism. Life will offer you many scenarios where you will feel or you will want to give up. 

In these scenarios, you don't feel like carrying on things normally. However, that is when you need to remind yourself that there will always be some setbacks in life, but that does not mean that you will readily give up on it for you are not a loser. 

You might wonder how to start boosted up with optimism. It is simple. You need to practice breathing exercises. Whenever you get angry, exhale the breath repressively and remind yourself that the situation is temporary. 

Whenever you feel lost or trapped, take deep breaths. Remember something, whoever the life you deem to be perfect is not doing something very different, the fundamentals are always the same, it is the system or the process that they modify to increase efficiency. 

#12 Read more often to dwell in a more beautiful world 

When you are an avid reader of classics and contemporary fiction, you will come across and stay with many different types of characters from all walks of life. This will give you exposure to the highs and lows that a human being is capable of achieving or falling simultaneously. Your mind will learn to classify men into various segments. 

When you see that a man is proud and rich, you will know that he shall be bad-tempered more often. When you see that a man is humble and rich, you will see that he is soft-spoken. You will learn the philosophy of man. 

How they function, how their lives and events go about shaping them, and how most of the time their character predicts their destiny. You will be less surprised or shocked when someone does something out of your wildest dreams because you have seen it all happening in fiction already. It will also help you to devise your strategy as to how you must go about dealing with these folks. 

Reading will help you to evolve into something better. The best part is that evolution is always on. It will teach you the limitlessness of possibilities and while sometimes you will see yourself playing God, there will be other times when you will realize that you are merely a game in other’s lives. 

However, you will learn to pat your back and to say to yourself, “Babe, it is okay, you need not ace every race and be the perfect one for everyone who you come across. Life has better offerings than that and it is limitless in its ways.”

#13 Go for shopping to make yourself feel better 

When the guy you had expected to pamper you turns out to be a disappointment, you can go about doing it yourself. Stop setting up expectations from people and stereotyping actions under the umbrella of gender roles. That’s the basic way to initiate things and proceed in the right direction. 

Do what makes you happy. If it is shopping, go for it. If it is investing money, do it. If it is spending a day with your friends, call them. If it is playing loud music and dancing your way into exasperation, you are game. 

When you do things for yourself without seeking validation, you shape yourself as an empowered human. There is practically no need to have anyone else in life when you have yourself. Every other bond or relationship is an extended version of the relationship and commitment that you have made to yourself. 

#14 Discover your mode of therapy

While for some cooking can be therapeutic, others find painting a scenery so. We get so engaged in our lives that we often dismiss the importance of recreation. A Zumba class, a gym session, swimming from the shallow end to the deep, and going for a brisk walk, are some of the many ways in which you can switch back to happy mode. 

Play games. It can be board games or sports. When you do it in a lively spirit, it will help you to withdraw the syndrome of a douchey personality laid back in life, love to faart and burp in public, and are a compilation of everything that is wrong with the passivity of men. 

The last thing you would want to be is an embodiment of annoyance. When you feel light-hearted and well-spirited, the people in your immediate environment will reflect the same energy. You will be surprised to see that even when you are downtrodden with exhaustion, you will feel energetic.

#15 Practice yogasana 

Yoga is a practice that will help you to learn and regulate the importance of balance in life. When you perform the asanas, you will learn how to control your temperament and balance your posture. It will make you a sift-spoken person. You will become kinder in person. You will learn the importance of controlling your emotions.

It will teach you to exercise silence between your thought and action. When you do that, you will not easily be moved by people’s words. Their words will fail to pierce your heart. Your muscles will gain strength. You, as an individual will become fluid. You will be able to understand the perspective of others and it will help you to figure out if the words are clouded in judgment or foiled in prejudice. 

It will prevent you from giving over weightage to what one says or does. You will be able to see the intentions from actions, the thoughts from articulation, and the good from bad. It might not make you a god, but it will enable you to exercise your human strength in the best way possible. You will become your resource of power and guidance, and the next time you want to seek a mentor, you will not look here and there or get haywire but take a sneak peek within. You will stop feeling vulnerable anymore.

#16 Try to find a penpal 

A pen pal will enable you to share your thoughts without the concern of meeting them. It will keep the load off and as you are not meeting them, it won't be considered cheating. You will get a listener who can exchange views with you without the fear of getting judged at either end. 

How to get a pen pal? Join a book club or someplace where you get the opportunity to make correspondence. It could be through Goodreads or other writing platforms that keep things light-hearted. You can use story mode and develop characters inspired by your life. It will be like a boost of therapy and will keep you excited till the time the next letter is due. 

#17 Meditate 

When you want to go into passivity, that is, you are unwilling to do anything; sit erect, close your eyes, and chant the mantra of “OM” to refocus all the negativity that you have collected during the day. It will help you to filter your thoughts and focus on all that matters. 

You will be able to get rid of the residue in a matter of seconds. Once you ace the art, try to do it in a natural environment every morning or under the starry sky every night. You will inhale fresh air and your body will become one with the natural environment. It will help you to realize that letting go is the principle of life. 

You must not hold onto things too tightly. Having a firm grip over people, objects, or ideas will bruise the relationship. You need to attract things in a way that is natural and not deliberate. It will breed positivity and help you to shun the negative. You will feel a strong entity in yourself and it will enable you to exercise individualism and collectivity simultaneously. You will learn the art and the importance of maintaining a balance in your life. 

#18 Go on a solo trip for a break 

If you feel that you need a fresh perspective or a break from the recent drama that your romantic life has so unwantedly thrown at you, what is better than going on a solo trip for a break? 

This will make you feel empowered. You will spend more time in the lap of nature creating sweet memories. You will also get a chance to meet new people and get enhanced exposure to different cultures. 

Meanwhile, if your boyfriend is interested in you, he will try to contact you. At those moments, you can share the insights and most great moments of your trip with him and send him postcards. 

If he doesn’t try to contact you, perhaps you don’t need to try to stay in touch either. As it is, the network availability isn’t at the best everywhere, especially if you are going to a hilly region. What your greatest need at this moment is to learn to enjoy your company independently. 

There might be moments when you will have flashbacks. Don’t be impulsive in such moments. Once you return from the trip, your mind will be made as to where you want to lead the current situation and how you propose to do it. 

#19 Seek advice from a relationship counselor 

If, after all this time, you still feel the need to mend the relationship with your boyfriend, first figure out why you want to do this. Do you have the right set of reasons? Is it because you are unhappy and feel a sense of lack in life that cannot be replaced or fulfilled by another human? Or, is it because of something more material in the essence?

A relationship counselor is a right person for you to visit here. Before him, both you and your partner will be able to speak your hearts out. He will help you both to walk through your entire journey by playing with the timeline. The questions that he poses will help you to analyze where it all went wrong. 

Either you will be able to figure out there itself what went wrong and how you could mend it, or you will learn that your relationship lacks the power to stand the storm. It will be a candid conversation that is needed when you and your partner are unable to show the courage for the need to open up. 

It will be an eye opener either to the mistakes your partner thinks that you have committed on him or the ones you have committed on yourself by denying the basic rights of a relationship. Either it will lead to a settlement or an absolute derangement. 

#20 If things get worse, break up 

When things run so haywire and the situation gets so out of control that you can't bear it, perhaps you need to break up. A breakup is better than demolishing the relationship to such an extent that the happy memories also taste bitter. Always try to move on on good terms so that even if you cross paths with them later, you can manage to smile. 

Your breakup should be a firm call. Hence, return all the belongings when you do it so that there won’t arise an immediate need to make contacts. About deleting public posts, perhaps that is not needed if your account is private unless your boyfriend or ex-boyfriend asks you to do so. 

What you can do instead is to change your relationship status to single to make it known that you have had a breakup. Remember, if it was a long relationship, the charm won’t easily fade away. Hence, you can always be good friends with your ex and can even introduce them to your next partner. It is harmless. 

#21 Switch to Zen Mode

You might wonder what I mean when I say you switch to zen mode. It means to detoxify yourself wholly and completely. Now, how do I propose to do that? Well, you do it in as many micro and macro levels as possible. 

For starters, you fix your bedtime, and as you know, the bed is your best friend, you promise yourself to never betray it. When you learn to wake up and go off to bed at the same time every day, the dark and unwanted thoughts won’t greet your way. 

Second, you work on your food intake and avoid anything that might contaminate your progress. I won’t lecture you on the amount of protein or carb intake to have a balanced diet. You can figure it out for yourself. But whatever you consume and in whichever quantity you consume, make sure that it brings you happiness. That after eating it, you won’t regret your choice. Hence, beginning from the choice of ingredient to the process of cooking it, work on all of it. If possible, try to cook at least one meal for yourself regularly, and eventually, when you master the cooking and culinary skills, you will be able to do it all without any hindrance. 

Third, limit your screen time and divide it in the order of priority. Set your phone setting in such a way that your productive use of the device is more than spending time on social media. Remember, social media breeds gossip. You begin to judge yourself based on the trends. You fail to understand that trends will keep changing almost every week lest capitalism will collapse. Hence, learn to prioritize your comfort. Nothing should be put above that. 

Fourth, learn to stay away from people who have conflicting interests with you. They will always try to find a way to cross and demotivate you. You don’t need to spend your time in that kind of nonsense. You have better things to do.

When does your boyfriend make you feel bad about yourself?

Having told the necessary steps that you need to take towards recovery when your boyfriend tries to belittle you, let’s take a glance as to why would your boyfriend do such a thing in the first place. If something has caused a change of heart, there has to be a justifiable reason for the same. It could be that he suddenly lost all affection for you. Read out below to find out more.

#1 When they are trying to break up with you 

If your boyfriend is mean and has lost all affection for you, don’t be too shocked if he tries to belittle you. It would mean that he is trying to break up with you at the cost of your emotions. 

You would know by now if you have been dating a toxic person from the way he treats others, especially his employees or the unprivileged folks. 

Hence, rather than bearing ill-treatment, close the door on their face. If they stay there to explain themselves, they didn’t have a breakup as the intention, whereas, if they leave, it was on their minds. 

Don’t shed a tear for such a person who never valued you enough. Instead, be grateful to god for taking you out of such a toxic relationship so soon. Most of the time, we keep ignoring and overlooking the flaws in people. Refrain from doing that the next time. The moment you sense a red flag, distance yourself. Don’t give them another opportunity till the time they prove to you that they are worth it. 

#2 When they have caught you cheating 

If your boyfriend has caught you cheating or if the one you cheated with has told him so, he would call you all kinds of names and might even get out of control. Even though you might have explained the situation and if he decided not to break up, buying your story that it was a spur of the moment, he won’t let go of the matter. 

Every time he sees you with another guy, he will remind you of how you cheated on him. This will be heartbreaking. Hence, if he is not breaking up but continuing the relationship, he is a sadist who waits for such moments to traumatize you, or he is seriously that hurt that he cannot forget it owing to flashbacks, or he has cheated in you too but you are not aware of it. 

The ending line is that you break up with him if he doesn’t do it with you rather than saying that you can’t continue after this. Even if that means that he blames you for it, let him. You are not to endure ill-treatment repeatedly for something that you did once. 

#3 When you are putting up weight day and night 

If you are increasing in width rapidly, your boyfriend will find it very alarming. He will keep on warning you against it but if in the pride of MY BODY, MY RULES, you don't give weightage to his words and your weighing scale shows big numbers, he will be so pissed off that his mind will be blown away. 

As a result, he won't be his best self and will have no other choice but to make you feel bad about yourself so that you are pushed to do better. If he didn't love you, he would have left you. But the important part is that he won't let you go. That is because he loves you from the bottom of his heart and cares for you.

At this point, even if you decide to abandon him for his rudeness, you will not be able to secure a relationship easily. You need to work on yourself. Perhaps consult a doctor if needed to be certain that there is no underlying disease that is causing this. Click on this link to know more - My Boyfriend Likes a Different Body Type - What to Do?

#4 When you set high and unrealistic expectations 

If your boyfriend makes you feel bad about yourself by letting you down because you are wholly dependent on him for all things taken together, perhaps you need to allow him some space. 

In the current world of women empowerment and feminism, guys mostly like to date independent women who can look after themselves. They don't want you to play the mother figure in their life, nor do they want you to be financially dependent on them. 

Perhaps try to keep a balance between the two and it will do you good. Don't be too vulnerable or your boyfriend will get scared. In an attempt to escape getting cornered with you, he will do things that you would not have desired. Click on this link to know more - My Boyfriend Doesn't Know How to Comfort Me [Here's Why].

#5 When you don't have a life other than your boyfriend 

When you have made your life all about your boyfriend, while initially, he might have supported it, now he might disdain it. It is important to keep air. If you are always easily available for a person, they might think of you to be jobless. 

Perhaps show yourself as a busy personality who doesn't have all the time in the world to absorb her boyfriend's tantrums or to meet her every day. You don't have to call or text him very often. Make it somewhat rare. Let him become vulnerable and needy for you. That is when you know that you are playing it right. 

#6 When you are financially dependent on your boyfriend 

If you are draining the finances of your boyfriend by wanting him to take you out to fancy places or to buy you expensive gifts, there will come a moment when he will give up on you. Your boyfriend might get tired of being the boyfriend in the relationship and might want to exchange the roles if you stereotype him. 

These days, people hate it when you ask them to do certain things or play certain parts because their gender roles dictate it. They want to be more fluid in their attempts and makeovers. Hence, if you keep on insisting on certain variants without bothering to give inputs from your end to balance the matter, you will realize that he has become distant from you.

#7 When you insult your boyfriend in public 

If you have done something to insult your boyfriend socially, for instance, if one of your posts or comments was directed to how your boyfriend fails to play certain parts or cried out about the things that he doesn't bring you, he would be strongly offended. 

It is worse if you did something to show him down in public by not believing in his guts or not being on his side, he would be heartbroken. Hence, matters of the heart are to be dealt with delicately. 

Even if you don't like something about your boyfriend, you will have to figure out some way to talk about it in a roundabout manner when in public or to wait for the right moment, get private, and then express your side of the story. 

It is important to understand that your behavior and conduct can either help you to flourish the relationship or end it. How you behave and what keeps you going plays a fundamental part as does your inner happiness. When you are not happy yourself, you won't be able to keep anyone happy. 

#8 When he blames you for his failure 

When your boyfriend blames his failure on you, for instance, he prioritized your sleep and didn't work late at night when you are sharing the same room, he might feel that he needs his own space. 

Instinctively, he will move out of the flat and you might think that he is abandoning you when in reality he is buying himself some space. 

Learn to work as a team and be more supportive not only in terms of encouraging him but also doing things that will naturally push him forward. Be more empathetic in your gestures. 

#9 When he has taken you for granted 

If your boyfriend has taken you for granted, he is not a reliable person. When your boyfriend takes you for granted, it shows that he doesn't care or love you enough. 

But more than that, it shows a pattern of his true nature. It highlights that he has never cared for or loved someone more than himself. This means that you are not a reliable person. He will always prioritize himself before you. You will be his second and in some places, third option. 

It could be due to various reasons, the prominent of them being that he feels that you need him more than he needs you and therefore you must struggle hard. Perhaps, it is time to distort his false notions and show him that you can be left by yourself and you will manage to thrive.

#10 When you don’t please them in bed

If you fail to satiate your boyfriend in bed or if you are too greedy in bed and make the foreplay all about yourself, your boyfriend might keep it bottled up initially but burst out ultimately. 

Hence, you must take turns to please reach others. Neither of you should feel like a slave to the other. By now, you should know what makes the other person happy. 

You can always try some fun things and introduce toys, play roles, dress up, and decor to make it an enriching experience. Even the correct use of music and dessert can make it tempting.

Summing up

It is how you think of yourself that should matter. Your boyfriend won't be able to make you feel bad about yourself until and unless you have more self-respect. Learn to present yourself in a certain way. It is alright to keep airs about you. If your boyfriend still does something equivalent to stabbing your heart, you need a new boyfriend.