My Guy Friend Stopped Talking to Me: Here's the Exact ReasonYour guy friend stopped talking to you probably because your lives are not the same anymore. A range of reasons can be there. The situation can result from a misunderstanding, or it can be about a new partner (his or yours).
It is hard to find a person with whom you can share all of your thoughts. Your thoughts sync at some level, which is the best kind of friendship. You shared such a relationship with a guy friend. He was like the Joey to your Phoebe.
He was different from all your other friends. Some people even started thinking that you had something going on with him. You shared everything — from lunch to heartbreaks. But that's all in the past now. He doesn't talk to you anymore.
You probably have tried talking to him, but his cold response every time you try to start a conversation has worn you out. You feel demotivated and sad at the same time over losing such a good friend.
Of course, you want to know the reason behind his behavior. Only then will you be able to look for solutions that can attempt to save the friendship.
Well, you have reached the right place. I will walk you through some possible reasons for his behavior and a few ways you can try to save the friendship (or not). Read on.
Why did he stop talking?
A great friend is a rare thing. He was a great friend until something caused this rift between you two. But what can be the reason? Was your new partner hostile towards him? Or did he get a new partner who is not okay with your friendship?
Whatever the reason, it has gone halfway into destroying your friendship. If you want to keep him in your life, this is the time to step up and do something. But before that, you will have to decipher the reason. Keep scrolling down.
#1 You rejected him
Did he ever ask you out? If yes, what was your response? I guess you refused to go out with him. Your refusal might have brought on this situation.
You guys were close. He misjudged the closeness. The refusal had him questioning himself along with the relationship he has with you right now.
He can't face the person who rejected him. He feels embarrassed and immensely ashamed of himself. He wanted to disappear into thin air the moment you rejected him. It was like a big blow to his dreams about a possible future with you. He thought you guys could be the new Mondler in town. But that never happened.
However, he can come back into your life as a friend only if he starts to think rationally. That might take some time, though.
#2 Your partner doesn't like him
I am sorry to break this to you now, but the fact is, you are dating a Ross. Your partner doesn't like your guy friend. "Doesn't like" would be an understatement. Your partner hates him. They want him out of your life.
They are scared of losing you to him. He intimidates them with his charm and his closeness with you. Nothing can convince them that you guys are just friends and nothing else. They are a classic example of the quintessential toxic partner.
Driven by their hatred, your partner behaves horribly with him. I know he is important to you. That's why you are here asking questions about how to retain him in your life. But you should deal with your partner first.
They must have said something to upset him recently. He probably has known for a while about their hatred. That wasn't bothering him much until the insults crossed the threshold of civility.
#3 His partner doesn't like you
He isn't talking to you because he is dating someone who doesn't like you much. Remember Emily from F.R.I.E.N.D.S? He is dating someone exactly like her. They have forbidden him to talk to you.
They are immensely jealous of you and how close you are to him. You guys share everything, and that enrages them. They want to take your place in his life.
Both of you are important to him. But as they are his partner now, and they get to spend more time with him, they have manipulated him into taking the drastic decision of not talking to you.
#4 You have hurt him with words
The last time you spoke to him, it wasn't a pleasant conversation. You guys were arguing about something when you said words that have cut through his heart.
You guys were best friends, but that doesn't mean he will bear everything you say. He is a living, breathing person with a perfectly functional mind. Things you say are bound to have an impact on it.
Just place yourself in his shoes for a while. What would you have done if he said something similarly hurtful to you?
#5 He is depressed
Talking less is a classic symptom of depression. He is not talking to you anymore because he is depressed. Not just you; he is not talking to anybody he knows.
He wants to be left alone with his thoughts for a while. However, that can harm him as the loneliness can make him slip further into clinical depression.
#6 You did not have time for him
You can't just take friendships for granted. If you need your friends in your life, you will have to spend time with them.
Your friend has stopped talking to you because you never had time for him for the last few months. Just like he listens to your worries and comes up with effective solutions for them, he, too, wants to share his problems with you. He gets disappointed when you remain unavailable.
It's not that you are super busy with some unavoidable work stuff. You go about your life like you used to, but whenever it comes to spending time with him, you magically run out of time to spare. This isn't fair.
#7 He misunderstood you
Misunderstandings are bad for any relationship. They can bring unbridgeable rifts between two people once close to each other. He is not talking to you probably because of a misunderstanding.
It can be something you have said or done or how you have reacted to something he said or did. He is mad at you and is in no mood to clarify things with you.
#8 You took him for granted
You have expected too much from this friendship without doing your part. You have taken him for granted, and the situation has worsened to an extent where he is trying to avoid you at any cost.
These things happen when you take undue advantage of a person's goodness and use them to fulfill your selfish needs. Remember when you called him up in the middle of the night because you ran out of midnight snacks. What did you do when he called you up for an emergency? If you can't answer the question without feeling ashamed or embarrassed, you should try to rectify your behavior.
#9 He is jealous of your relationships
He probably has feelings for you and is immensely jealous of your relationships. What he wants is more than friendship; you have subtly refused to accept his wishes with your behavior.
He thinks he would have a chance with you whenever you are single, but you get into a new relationship every time, without even considering his advances. This is not your fault. If he can't deal with the fact that you don't romantically like him, it's his fault.
#10 You got closer to your new friends
I don't think there is a problem with him. When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with him? If you have to count days and look for words to answer this question, I think you were the one who stopped talking.
You found new friends and forgot the old ones. This friend you are so concerned about suddenly is probably not talking to because he is upset over the idea of losing you to your other friends.
You have just met your new friends, while he has been in your life for a long time. I don't think I need to mention who deserves more priority from you.
#11 He has got new friends
Your name has gone down on his priority list for friends. He has got new friends and thinks that they are better than you. He thinks they understand him better.
Even if you guys have been friends for a long time, bringing him back from these new friends will be almost impossible. He is an adult and is entitled to make his decisions independently. You will have to accept whatever comes your way, even if it hurts you.
#12 He is in an unavoidable situation
An unavoidable situation can have many forms. He or someone from his family could be sick. He could be busy with work.
He needs to sort out the situation, and only then can he return to a normal life. Hanging out with friends can wait, but the emergency at hand cannot.
He hopes that his close friends would understand his plight and therefore is not giving much thought to the idea that someone (read 'you') can get offended.
What can retain the friendship?
Monica Geller once said that one needs to work hard on a relationship. A relationship or a friendship needs to be nurtured. If you want to keep a certain friend in your life, you will have to be involved in the friendship. You will have to invest your time.
You can't take a friend for granted. They have a shoulder for you to cry on whenever you face a bad breakup. They, too, need a shoulder to cry on when they face similar distressful situations. You can't just show up only in their happy times and still be their favorite.
Your guy friend has stopped talking to you. If you want to retain this friendship, if you truly value this friendship, you will have to get to the root of the problem and find a suitable solution.
I have enlisted a few things you can do to deal with the situation. Keep reading.
#1 Talk to him
Talk to him to clarify things. There is nothing a good conversation can't solve. If he feels hurt by rejection, sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him why you said what you said.
You can tell him that your friendship is too precious to jeopardize with relationship stuff. Relationships are tricky. You can be great friends, but nobody knows how you two will fare as romantic partners.
#2 Ask your partner to change their attitude toward him
Talk to your partner if they hate him. Assure them that there is nothing to worry about. Ask them, "Do you trust me?" ─ That's a question they would try to avoid.
A relationship stands on mutual trust and respect. If any of these two pillars is missing, love alone can't save it.
Tell them that their hatred is hurting you. Ask them if they find him intimidating. If they come up with "Yes" as an answer, assure them that nothing can break you apart.
If they retain this behavior, try to get out of the relationship. You don't deserve such toxicity. A relationship is supposed to make you feel better. They are supposed to feel like home. When they try to detach you from your friends, that is the biggest alarm for you to get out.
#3 Ask him to talk to his partner
His partner is an Emily Waltham. They don't like you and want you out of his life. They don't understand what you two mean to each other.
You have been friends with this person for a long time now. It is not easy to break off a long-term friendship just because someone is jealous of you. Ask him to talk to his partner about it.
Advise him to have a detailed conversation about their problems with your presence in his life and tell him to assert the fact that there is nothing romantic going on between you two.
#4 Go for a double date—the four of you
Go for something to make your partners face their worst fears. Go for a double date. Make them realize that there are other people in your lives to do romantic stuff with.
A double date with all four of you present at the same table would make them see that you two are nothing more than friends. However, the only difficult task would be to convince them of that. Once you are done with all the convincing, the rest of the job is easy.
You can also plan to visit the same restaurant simultaneously and pretend to bump into each other. That way, you guys will need no harrowing sessions to convince your partners to go on this double date.
#5 Apologize if you have hurt him in any way
If you were the one to hurt him, he definitely deserves an apology. You need to apologize for being a bad friend and for saying things you shouldn't have said.
Your words have hurt him, and that's why he isn't talking to you anymore. If you need him back in your life, you must be a little humbler and accept that you have done something wrong.
#6 Try to spend more time with him (like in old times)
Remember when you visited the local movie theatre every week to watch a new film together? Or that time you skipped school to explore that alleged haunted house with him. You guys were as cool as the gang from Stranger Things. You were the Dustin to his Lucas, the Mike to his Will.
You need to bring that magic back. Of course, things will not be exactly as they were back when you were children. But that won't stop you from having your favorite burger and fries combo at the local diner after catching the new film at the theatre.
#7 Take him to a therapist
If he is depressed, you should immediately take him to a therapist. If he is unwilling to talk to you, ask one of his other friends to take him.
He needs help. The more he stays at home, the more he will get engulfed by depression. He won't ask for help. You will have to read the situation and act on it.
You can talk to his family about it if his other friends aren't available.
#8 Sit down together to clarify the misunderstandings
Misunderstandings need clarifications if you want to keep a friendship. You guys need to sit down and talk about it.
He is not talking to you because he misunderstood your behavior or your words. This situation can't stay for long if you treasure your friendship.
#9 Do not take him for granted
Taking someone for granted is the worst thing you can do in a friendship. If he is a great person who responds to your beck and calls all the time, you should also return the same favors to him.
Be there when he needs you. Don't just be a fair-weather friend. The help you are so habituated to receiving from him might stop one day when he sees that you are using him to fulfill your needs.
#10 Spend time with his new group of friends
If he is reluctant to introduce you to his new group of friends, you can go and introduce yourself to them. But this option works when you have an imposing personality or when you are an extrovert.
However, if you are an introvert who needs that one friend to be at your side no matter what, you will have to talk to him about that and ask him to introduce you to his new group of friends. Who knows, you might find an even better friend in this new group.
#11 Introduce him to your new friends
Similarly, if you are the one who has gained a lot of new friends, you can introduce him to them. He needs to know that you are there for him.
You being busy with your new gang is making him insecure. He thinks he will lose you. Try to make him realize that you will never leave his side. Include him in all your plans with this new group of friends. The more, the merrier.
#12 Be a good listener
He listens to all your problems and comes up with great solutions for them. He expects the same from you. Be a good listener and help out your friend when he needs you the most.
Abandoning him whenever he faces a difficult situation is selfish. If you cant find solutions to his problems, you can at least listen to them. He needs someone to vent his feelings, and you are his place of comfort─ a shoulder to cry on.
To sum up
If your guy friend is no longer on speaking terms with you, there must be a reason. You have been friends for way too long to let this situation go just like that. His silence is not sitting well with you. You want your old 2:00 AM friend back.
For that, you will have to know the reason first and act accordingly. If this happens because of your new partners, you must sort it out with them. If you value this friendship, you will definitely find a way back to each other.
If this person has been in your life for more than ten years now, if all your childhood memories revolve around him, he is worth fighting for. He basically is your soul mate. Go! Get him back!