My Girlfriend Allows Guys to Flirt with Her (Here's Why)

There are certain things about relationships that we come to comprehend only over time. For instance, if you started dating your girlfriend because she allowed you to flirt with her, it made you think you have a special spot in her heart. Still, over time, you realize that your girlfriend never stops a guy from flirting with her or drops hints that she is committed. The idea that she might cheat on you would become the source of constant vexation. 

In this blog post, I will help you understand why your girlfriend allows others to flirt with her and what you should do. Destress yourself with a delightful read. Good luck!

Reasons why your girlfriend allows guys to flirt with her 

Your girlfriend is flirtatious, and while she likes you, she hasn’t reached that spot in the relationship yet where she is certain that you are the one for her. She uses flirting as a trial-and-error method to understand her needs. 

Keep reading below to discover more possible reasons for your girlfriend’s curious behavior. 

#1 Your relationship is not official 

When you don’t make your relationship official despite your girlfriend’s countless suggestions, a feeling of insecurity will not only creep over her mind and body but make a home in her heart. If she is determined that you are not giving her serious vibes because you are not certain about her, she might call it off. 

You might want to take a step sooner. Don’t be too surprised that she ditched you for your best friend if he is single, more handsome, caring, or understands a woman’s concern better than you. Statistics tell that a person’s best friends learn faster from their mistakes. If your best friend, too, has been suggesting you embrace the route to amendments, it is high time you do so.

Noticing when and how your girlfriend flirts, does she like to do it in your presence or keeps it a secret affair over texts and calls, and who she flirts with, is it your friend circle, her colleagues, strangers, or people on dating sites will provide you clues about her naked intentions. 

If your girlfriend is flirting with long distant guys, she is doing it purposelessly. Whereas if she is targeting your friends, she is doing it to make you jealous. If she is doing it openly, she is trying to make a point. If she is doing it secretly, she has ill intentions in mind.

#2 She suspects you 

If your girlfriend doubts your intentions, feels that you are playing with her, or are not serious about her, she might be put off. As a result, she would allow guys to flirt with her. However, this does not imply that she is flirting with the guys, at least not yet. She is rather bringing you the opportunity to win her back. 

Women allow men to flirt with them when their man is not doing enough. Moreover, each one of us has our flaws. Your girl might be doing this to show you the lot she attracts. If they are better achievers than you, she is trying to make a point. She has the upper hand and can ditch you the day and the way she likes. 

#3 You don’t provide enough 

Your girlfriend might find it off or a lack of seriousness when you don’t walk that extra mile for her, do not make her feel special, don’t reiterate the words of love to her, or do anything out of the box to pamper her. 

If you have become so convenient with her that you feel it is okay to make her an everyday object rather than religiously worshipping her beauty and singing praises to her might, you couldn’t be more wrong.

You need to hustle to keep a woman yours. Winning her heart once, laying with her in bed, and occasionally meeting up with her will not keep the ball in your court. It would help if you kept hitting the goal time and again. 

Remember, your girlfriend has friends who are dating too. When they share their stories about how their boyfriends make them feel blessed, and your girlfriend has no such powerful story to share, she will feel neglected. 

A woman loves to a point, but once you start losing her favors, the ball runs downhill. Hence, please don’t waste a moment in not appreciating her abundance. The beauty, warmth, and difference she has brought into your life must be accounted for intelligibly. Never shy away from putting effort to ace your relationship.

#4 Your girlfriend is an attention seeker 

Your girlfriend has a natural ability to seek attention. She has all the eyes on her wherever she goes. If you are dating an influencer, a charmer, or a people pleaser, you shouldn’t be surprised. She will get the attention, and she might enjoy having it her way, especially if her livelihood depends on it. 

If she is a fashion iconoclast, she will be admired for her style and beauty. The way she does her makeover brings her additional comments and takes on what she might be hinting at. In all these cases, you must remember that she allows guys to flirt with her without dating them.

Hence, you have a place in her heart that others don’t. Respect the designation she has bestowed upon you. Learn to see the difference between the treatment. You will get your answers when your girlfriend holds your hands, even when other guys attempt to grace her presence with their flirtatious words.

#5 You don’t satisfy her in bed 

When you are not doing enough to please your girlfriend in bed, or you are selfish in your attempts, more of a taker than a giver, if you hesitate in making heavenly use of your tongue and fingers, or work on your makeout skills, she will be forced to sneak peek elsewhere.

You must look after your girlfriend’s physical, mental, and sexual health. She must go to bed at night destressed and nicely satisfied. She must not feel that she is too much for you to handle. Take tips, introduce toys, go on about experimenting, make her talk about her needs, understand them and learn to please. 

Your girlfriend shall remain hooked on you when she knows that there is no other in the world who can do to her the way you do in bed. That feeling of superior satisfaction should be a boon to your relationship. If you haven’t reached there yet, it is high time you do everything in your range to do so.

#6 She is unaware that you find it a botheration 

If you always chuckle when your girl allows other guys to flirt with her or give a false impression that you are not put to discomfort when someone else is trying to claim favors from your girlfriend before you, you are doing it all wrong.

That is not the point where you radiate how cool a dude you can be. It is when you show off your macho skills and break some jaws. You need not confront or say a word to your girlfriend. Let her admire you in action, and let other guys fear you enough never to attempt seducing your girlfriend again. Be a rightful proprietor. 

#7 She advocates open relationships 

If your girlfriend advocates open relationships, the idea and temptation of indulging in one might not be far away. Allowing guys to flirt with her might be a gesture to you. She wants to behave silly. 

Perhaps she is trying to understand if you want to behave silly too. There are many relationships where the girl and the guy let go of the base and foundation of the relationship for pleasure. 

The momentary escape brings them delight that they find heavenly. The idea of a blissful relationship takes up the challenge of committing adultery together. It's a wrong notion, but that's how we can sum up this generation. 

#8 She is needy (promiscuous) 

If you are dating a woman who not only allows guys to flirt with her but loves to secure the attention of guys by various means, these might be the early signs of promiscuity. 

A promiscuous woman, by definition, likes to keep multiple sexual partners. Her need is such that she doesn't mind making extra room for an affair or someone extraterrestrially special. 

You must be careful if you get a strong feeling that your woman might be one. Maintaining a stable relationship with a promiscuous woman is difficult but not impossible. You can do it by understanding and satisfying her needs. Read more on this context by clicking on the following link. It will redirect you to a blog post where I've meticulously indulged in the behavior and science of a promiscuous woman and how to maintain or escape the relationship.

#9 She is cheating on you 

You cannot underestimate the possibility that your girlfriend might be cheating on you. Try to observe if she is allowing guys to flirt with her or if there is someone she is allowing to flirt with. 

If there is one person your girlfriend lets flirt with him, the chances are that she has a soft corner for her, or she might have adulterated with him. You can look at her phone for more clues. If she is cheating on you, her call log, gallery, and messages will reflect it. 

Moreover, the person starts behaving differently when they cheat. Notice the way she smells. How often does she take your name, or does she bite her lips while calling out to you? It is because she is talking to someone else more than she is talking to you. Observe if she doesn’t call you as much as she used to. If she is not talking as much to you or not sharing as many memes with you as she used to, she is sending them to someone else.

#10 She is using you as a plaything  

If you are in a young relationship and you are getting vibes that your girlfriend is not serious about you, she is with you to kill time or to do it for the sake of it, and she might intend to have a no strings attached relationship. 

This usually happens when your girlfriend is not emotionally available for you. She doesn’t chatter a lot. She neither asks you about your day nor informs you about hers. She is not interested in your ambitions or interests. There is no urge to explore, understand, vibe, or delight. 

When the girl you are seeing meets you for sleeping with you, she keeps it limited, either because she is too heartbroken to begin something fresh or she couldn’t have cared less. When you allow her to continue treating you like that, it is either because you are not looking for something serious or you are trying to make her a plaything for you just like she is treating you.

However, if you have silly notions that she will fall for you in the nick of time, you couldn’t be more wrong. 

#11 You lied to her 

If you lied to your girlfriend, she might be misbehaving or flirting with others to teach you a lesson. It is an intentional move. She is not doing it to seek pleasure but to make you feel uncomfortable. 

Notice if she flirts only when you are watching her. Now think, why would your girlfriend flirt before you with someone else unless she has a motive for it? Now try to recall if you did anything in particular to offend her.

If you feel that you gave your girlfriend a reason to get upset, make amends as soon as possible. Don’t take things for granted or keep situations on hold for the future. If you feel she is the one, make it official. 

#12 Something changed 

If there is a change in her needs, she might behave differently with you. Try to analyze and understand her body language. Does she become restless around you? Are you two not getting some personal time alone? Has your behavior changed around her? If you have started using your girlfriend to vacuum your frustration, it will vex her.

If her ex has returned or is trying to return to her life, or if your ex has confronted and is bothering her, she might feel suffocated in the relationship. Sometimes we become too demanding, insecure, and possessive about our partners. Remember, giving space in a relationship is vital.

#13 She has a relationship phobia 

If your girlfriend has relationship phobia and she can see that things are going upstream, it will scare the hell out of her. She will become furious and do things to avoid getting cringed around you. She will do this more when you are determined to make her your wife or have started giving her husband vibes rather than that of a boyfriend. 

Try to read the vibe and understand what the girl might want from you in this relationship. She will keep on dropping clues from her behavior. Don’t exert yourself in ways that might go unappreciated. Sometimes it becomes important to learn to stay limited in your approach to your partner.

#14 She finds flirting harmless 

Your girlfriend might believe that flirting does not imply sleeping with someone. Hence, she finds it harmless, especially when she is in the mood or has been drinking. In those moments, or even later, if you express your distaste for it, there is a possibility that it might fire back, and she might develop a distaste for you.

In moments of confrontation, she might ask you if you don’t trust her enough. She might even say she has always had your back and kept a watch for you, so why can’t she expect the same from you? The situation will become worse if your best friend or the colleague you work or spend most time of the day with is a female.

A matter of the heart is never easy. You will have to express and convince her that you hold an earnest desire for her in your heart. You will have to prove to her through your words and gestures that it hurts to watch her flirting with another person when she could readily do it with you. 

Ask her suggestions and her thoughts on it. The right approach to problems can smoothen everything. To read more about the idea of drunken feelings and what they express, click on the link below. Does Drunk Flirting Show True Intentions or Feelings?

#15 She has seen you flirting with other women 

When you take the liberty to flirt with other women or allow women to flirt with you, your girlfriend might choose to mimic your behavior and find no harm in flirting with guys or letting them flirt with her. Moreover, this might set the ideal of a power couple for some. 

If it has become a botheration for you, perhaps hold your girlfriend’s hand when other girls try to hit upon you and show her that the gateway for all is closed except her. Treat her like your queen, and she will take you to be her king. If you hurt her feelings, she will make you suffer.

What to do when your girlfriend allows guys to flirt with her?

State your expectations and make her sign a no-negotiation chart where you mention the things you find a deal breaker. You can encourage her to do the same. It will help both of you to handle your insecurities better. 

Continue scrolling down to find more short and long ways to make it meaningful with your girlfriend. 

#1 Make a no-negotiation deal 

When things irk you, become the Sheldon of a relationship and ask your girlfriend to sign an agreement with you. This is not such a bad idea when you think about it. It doesn’t have to involve paperwork but a demarcation of boundaries. 

These boundaries will focus on the things that are acceptable and unacceptable to you. To the things that you find unacceptable, tell it crystal clear to her. She must appreciate the initiative and might take the opportunity to open up about her boundaries and limitations. 

A no-negotiation deal conveys a deal breaker in case any clauses are not adhered to. She will understand how serious you are about this and her. She would also be confident that you won’t play with her heart either by committing to anything she does not accept.

#2 Convey your feelings 

When you express your feelings in soft-spoken words to your girlfriend, her heart will melt. She won’t take it as complaints or get annoyed by your behavior. She will understand that you are not one of the usual lots. 

You pose as a mature person who likes to make it stronger together. Your motive is to make the relationship work. Make it your mantra. Ask her to hold your hands to achieve the end and make the journey beautiful. 

Make her understand that if you hold grudges against each other, it will make the relationship bitter. If you make it a habit to do weekly feedback where you take turns giving appreciation and candidly criticize what you like and dislike, love and hate about each other. 

#3 Make it official 

If you feel your girlfriend is behaving like this because she has dropped hints before to make it official, but you didn't reply, she might feel you are fooling around with her. She is doing this to see your reaction. 

The best way to handle the situation is to make an official declaration of your love. Propose her or make a public post to inform your contacts and mutuals that you are dating. 

It is a big step. When you are seriously into someone, you must not hesitate to show off your love. Think of the official declaration to be submitted in the office when you are seeing your colleagues. 

#4 Stop flirting 

When you flirt with other women, you can't raise a finger at your girlfriend and ask her not to entertain strangers. Mend your ways, and preach by example. 

When you raise the bar and set a standard for your girl to follow, she will feel honored and privileged. This would prevent you from letting yourself down.

If you have been feeling low and disheartened because your girlfriend is allowing guys to flirt with her, imagine the pain you have inflicted upon her by doing the same. Learn to be empathetic.

#5 Give her more assurance 

There are many ways in which you can give assurance to your girlfriend by winning her heart over again, flirting with her, giving her attention in bed, sending her roses, and caring for her are a few of them. 

When you give her certain privileges, say your house keys, access to your account, your diary, your dark secrets, anything that buys her confidence into believing that you regard her dear, and she will cross miles for you without a sigh. 

When you love someone, make it fluid and the best. Remember, you get to set your standard. What you deserve, what you want to love, and how you want to do it are your callings. 

#6 Propose a live-in 

If you feel that moving in with your girlfriend might bring you closer physically and mentally, perhaps you should make the suggestion. If your girlfriend allows guys to flirt with her because you cannot fulfill her needs, moving in together will help you with intimacy.

Intimacy is the fuel to a relationship. Unless you are in a long-distance relationship, you must try to spend romantic time together. If you have a long-distance relationship, try to find ways to visit each other and spend more time together.

#7 State your take on an open relationship 

If you feel there is a chance that your girlfriend is an advocate of open relationships, you must give her clear opinions of yours. It is better not to leave any room for doubts or loose ends.

She should not be under the impression that you had been fine with it. Sometimes dropping hints or prompts to discuss a topic can take you a long way. Open the dialogue, and if she might have it on her mind, she will take the lead in discussing it.

#8 Stalk her 

Stalking your girlfriend's movements should be your last resort and must be given heed to only if you find the situation out of control and yourself vulnerable.

Remember, it is a desperate step, and while it can help you to understand if she is cheating on you, if she is innocent and comes to know about it, it could as well become a deal breaker.

Learning to trust in a relationship is important. Your conviction should be such that even when you know stalking can fetch you answers and put your misery at an end, you might choose to keep patience. 

Time will bring you all the answers. It might not require all the hustle. Don't let an already controlled situation become worse. Prove that you are stronger than your need for affirmation and gratification. 

Summing up 

Sometimes we get so caught up in relationships that we enjoy entertaining diversions. We tend to forget the anxiety it might cause our partner. Your girlfriend is careless, but that doesn't mean she loves you any less. Have faith and keep patience. Your power of love and trust will bring her back.