What to Do When My Girlfriend Talks to a Guy Who Likes Her?There will occur many such occasions when your girlfriend will talk to guys who have an open or secret liking for her. You cannot ask your girlfriend to not talk to them for this guy might be her well-wisher, colleague, employer, or friend. You can resolve the conflict of interest by giving her enough reasons to not cheat on you.
Insecurity has been a major challenge to deal with in relationships. People start holding bitterness and grudges toward the ones they love. If you are feeling such a crisis where you feel less love and more bitterness twists your girlfriend because she is talking to the guy who is attracted to her, you have come to the right place.
In this blog post, I'll help you understand why your girlfriend might be talking to a guy who likes her and what should you do about it. Take two deep breaths and read further to know more.
Reasons why your girlfriend talks to a guy who likes her
There could be a million possible reasons for a girl to talk to another guy besides her boyfriend because, in the capacity of an individual, your girlfriend is a human, whose general operating tendency is to make connections and be social in life. However, if this creates problems between you, it needs a deeper analysis.
To know more, continue reading below.
#1 She may not realize his intentions
If you are dating a naive woman who easily trusts others then your girlfriend might be talking to the guy who likes her because she doesn’t realize his intentions. She is perhaps not aware that he is crushing on her or is too confident that he cannot do any damage to her.
In such a case, you need to talk to your girlfriend and explain to her what are the probable causes for a guy to engage in a daily conversation. He either wants to take her advantage or let you as her boyfriend down. It is extremely impolite of the guy to engage a girl in regular conversation when he is already aware of her relationship status.
If, however, your girlfriend is the one who is talking to him, assuming him to be her newfound friend with whom she likes to share tidbits of your relationship and expose the weakness in the hope that he might be able to find her a fix, she could not have been more wrong.
In such a case, you need to explain to your girlfriend that the only way to resolve any relationship matter in life is by talking it out with the person concerned. If she is running away from a confrontation with you because she has found a bypass that helps her in mending her behavior and keeping herself calm before you, the very foundation of your relationship is weak.
#2 She may not want to hurt his feelings
If your girlfriend is neither naive nor dumb yet she continues to talk to the guy who likes her, it might be because he is either a good friend or a colleague. She might feel that the guy’s affection towards her will change in the due course of time. Hence, she thinks it is not used to ghost him or spoil her equation with him, more so because she is not as sure about the longevity of her relationship with you as she is about her work line or her friend circle.
This happens when the guy is either a school friend or a co-worker and they are working on the same project together. This project ranks top in their organizational goals and if they mess with it, the management might fire them. Moreover, when you come to think about it, the guy likes her. It is a positive vibe. Had he hated her or had been planning to damage her reputation then it wouldn’t have been worth the risk. But if your relationship is official and people in her office are already aware of her commitment status, no one will blame her for breaking the guy’s heart. Hence, if anything, what you need to do here is make your relationship official and allow your girlfriend some space.
#3 She may be trying to be polite
It might be her attempts to be polite with the guy due to which she is bearing him. The guy, on the other hand, might be relentless in his pursuit of her. He might give her compliments and be extremely courteous which makes it difficult for her to turn him down.
The guy might also be writing her poetries or making her feel the way you have failed. He might be confident that his skills are working because she is readily replying to him. These are not good signs and you should do something about it in earnest left you might run the risk of losing your girlfriend.
The guy might be relentless because he is a psycho who is not used to being turned down. Hence, he has taken this up as a challenge. Help your girlfriend in seeing this and she might have a shift of perspective. Many conman and catfishing cases are happening every day, share some of the stories with your girlfriend to keep her alert of the realistic scenarios.
#4 She may be cheating on you
There is a possibility that your girlfriend is chatting so much with the guy because she is urging him to keep shut about her affair with him. Your girlfriend, in a state of inebriation or on the spur of the moment, might have slept with the guy.
Cheating in a relationship is very common. However, one might feel guilty about doing it or steal eye contact when they are aware that their partner didn’t deserve this. Their partner loves them with their all and trusts them completely.
If you are this guy, your girlfriend might have naively or deliberately cheated on you. However, if she has done such a thing and yet she texts him before you, either she is overconfident and trying to play smart before you, or she is not scared of losing you.
Don’t be with someone who doesn’t respects you enough. Love alone is never enough. Remember, love is in the air. It is very easy to fall for a person. What is difficult is choosing them over and over again. That is the real test and that is the meaning of commitment. It is not easy to find someone who will stick by you in your highs and lows, but when they do, don’t let them go. Fight with the world for them if needed.
#5 She may be considering her options
Your girlfriend might not be too confident about you. She might be considering other options available or open to her. Humans tend to draw a comparison between the options available to them.
These days love is more about how much you will be able to satisfy one's materialistic requirements than it is about how you feel for that person.
Don't be surprised to see that your girlfriend selects someone less good-looking but more successful or rich than you. This is something that is practiced by guys and girls alike.
To court someone, you don't need to portray chivalry. You need to show them how much is in you in terms of providing. What is your class and what are your abilities will go on estimating whether you are lovable or not. The qualities of being kind or selfless are paid heed to much later in life.
#6 She may enjoy the attention
Your girlfriend might merely be chatting with the guy because she is enjoying the attention. He might be praising her in the ways you never did.
Humans have many parameters of requirements. Your girl will want you to be hot, to perform well in bed, to know how to behave properly, to notice the way she keeps to herself, to admire her beauty, and to be a friend.
If any parameters among the above that you are not able to satisfy, she will switch to another to create the bridge. She won't break up with you nor would she cheat on you. She will take and give all that she can from you and she will branch out to a platonic relationship with someone who can provide the rest. As such, even if you read her texts, you will only feel guilty about everything that you weren't able to tell her, not the other way around. It will teach you how to mend your ways.
#7 He may be doing her favors
Your girlfriend might be talking to the guy to get her way out with him. He might be proving useful to her. The world teaches us to be mean and we like to associate ourselves with people from whom we can benefit. In such a case, if you cross-question your girlfriend or try to hold her back from talking to him, she will dismiss you from her life.
You can eavesdrop on their conversation to understand if your girlfriend is talking to him or even buttering him because she wants him to do her a favor. It will also help you understand what your girlfriend might be offering in return, whether it is empty promises or something more meaningful.
#8 He may be her neighbor
Your girlfriend and the guy might be next-door neighbors. Now think of it practically and ask yourself if it is possible to not talk to your neighbor. You might need them to pick up your delivery, you might keep your house’s spare keys with them. I can give you a long list of the importance of maintaining a good relationship with one’s neighbors.
Perhaps, your girlfriend is also doing that, she is coming around in terms with her neighbor who might be crushing on her. It is all the better for even in the late hours if an emergency breaks up, he will be able to provide for her.
What you should do in such a situation is keep his number in your phonebook. You can ask him to check on your girlfriend when she is not picking up your call. You can also use his help to organize or plan a surprise for her.
Try to change negative into positive by using the correct methodology of reinforcements and you will be surprised to see how the very people who you take to be your enemy might help in making your endeavors more successful.
#9 He may be committed
If the guy who is crushing on your girl is himself in a relationship and is well aware that your girl has you in her life, the chances are high that neither of them will cross their boundaries unless it is a mutual attraction towards each other from both ends.
In such a scenario, stopping your girlfriend from talking to the guy who is himself committed will be groundless. You cannot do anything about this at least unless you have the proof for it. Even if you gather proof, your case will be weak. It will lack substance.
Instead of thinking about all this, offer to take your girlfriend on a vacation. She will get a break from anything that might have started cooking between them. You will be able to radiate more positivity. Sometimes all you need is a bit of distraction.
#10 She may be bored of you
If your conversations have become monosyllabic, you have stopped taking initiative to have a meaningful conversation, don’t be surprised to see that your relationship just fades out with time, and though nothing ever went wrong with you two, you will fall distant, lose intimacy and stop being a thing altogether.
As such, it is only natural that rather than longing and pining for you, your girlfriend will switch to someone who is more easily available and who puts more effort into trying to be together. Mark my word when I say this, boredom is a far superior evil; to cheating. Cheating precedes boredom. You don’t start getting bored of a relationship because you slept with someone else, you sleep with someone else because you are bored with what you already have.
To understand this more, open your girlfriend’s chat window and see if her texting speed and use of words have decreased. If it has, there has to be a mighty number of reasons for it. To know more, click on the link - My Girlfriend Doesn't Text Me Like She Used To.
#11 He may be a part of her social circle
Your girlfriend might be connected with some random guy through her social circle or social media. He might be a friend of a friend or someone popular in her social group. As such, having the guy’s liking is fundamental.
Your girlfriend might not be the only one whom the guy likes. He might like all the girls in his group. That is the reason why they are part of the same group. They share their interests, likes, and dislikes. The liking, as such, need not be romantic or sexual.
It might be intellectual, emotional, technology related, or a shared fondness for something. They might have the same bucket list. Most of their friends might be the same. You might be the one who is the outsider here. Hence, no one will understand your perspective here.
It is you who needs to work your way in earning their trust and becoming a part of the circle. Soon, you will realize that you too like all the other girls in the group but it is only your girlfriend whom you love, for all others, you have respect and a sense of friendship. That is what a mature relationship looks like.
What to do when your girlfriend talks to a guy who likes her?
Try to understand what is about that guy that might have interested your girlfriend in talking to this guy. Once you understand the reason, the purpose and the remedy won’t be far away. You will be able to get an idea about what interests your girlfriend in this guy by either asking her directly, eavesdropping on their conversations, or reading her texts.
There are other alternatives too, read below to know more.
#1 Trust her
Trusting your partner blindly is not as difficult as it may seem. If you love them, you ought to trust them. That leap of faith becomes necessary. If you don't take it, you are never leaving your comfort zone.
You may wonder what if when she breaks your trust? When to know where the trusting power has crossed its limit? Well, you see it in their eyes. You understand it from their body language.
When your girlfriend is texting the guy, ask for her phone to make a call. If it takes her two minutes to respond to your request, she is hiding things from you. If she gives you an instantaneous response and handover her device, she is yours.
#2 Express your feeling
If something makes you feel uncomfortable, say it. There is no need to keep your feelings hidden. When you bottle up your emotions, it creates bigger problems.
One day, you will be so overwhelmed by the emotions that you won't be able to act with patience. Hence, whenever you encounter something inconvenient, say it out loud.
Even if this leads to momentary discomfort, it will ease your worries in the long run and enable you to do love better. Right ny, though you are in a relationship, you are devoid of the communal bliss with your partner.
#3 Offer to invite him home
There is a simple way of handling things and doing them right. It is by befriending the guy who is crushing on your girl. When you be friends with him, you get to know him personally.
The first-hand experience and exposure to the guy will help you to understand not only the type of person he is, the kind of people he keeps, and the business he maintains. It will also enable you to understand his equation with women.
You will be able to see who are the ones he keeps close. Why are women attracted to him? Where does your girlfriend stand in between all these? When you get the clarity, you will be empowered to do everything else nicely.
#4 Gather information about him (dig his details)
It is not a bad idea. Prevention is better than cure. Before the guy takes the liberty to hurt your girl, dig for information about him. Try to use your networking and social media to get a general analysis of your character.
If the guy is respectable and friendly, you should let the case rest. If not, you should warn your girlfriend. You won't have to speak directly to her. The credentials will do it. If she is not a foolish person, she will mend her ways.
#5 Fix him with a girl
Perhaps the guy is lonely or has had a breakup which is why your girlfriend is trying to console him. She might be scared that the guy will undergo depression and might commit something unfortunate.
You can help her and the guy in this case. Perhaps take the help of your girlfriend to find a girl who will keep the guy happy and sane. That way, both the equations, will smoothen, you will not run the risk of a love triangle, and everything will be happy thereafter.
If, after doing all this, your girlfriend keeps talking to the guy, the problem is in your girl. She is perhaps confused and might have misappropriated her feelings for you. Perhaps ask her again if she was given the chance to select you again for the first time, would she have done it, her reply or her silence or her denial will fetch you the answer.
#6 Confront him
Perhaps you need not go after your girlfriend. Confront the guy first. Although it is risky, he might tell your girlfriend about it and she might get so washed away with embarrassment that she might avoid talking to you.
But if whatever you are planning or thinking is true and has some matter to it, the guy will be caught red-handed. For all you know, he might have been texting your girlfriend at that very moment of your surprise encounter.
There is always the risk that guy is a con man who is catfishing women in unhappy relationships. It further shows that your girlfriend has confided in him that she is not happy with you, thus providing him the leverage to do all the damage.
She might be innocent because she was not aware of the intentions of the guy. She might have taken him to a long-distance friend who can be her pen pal, a listener, and a mentor. She might not have any intention of cheating on you. Hence, handle the situation with patience. You might not need to break up with your girlfriend.
#7 Introspect (Do you not talk to girls who like you)
Ask yourself how great a person are you. How pure have been your intentions? Whether in thought or action, you never committed an error? If .he thought of adulteration has never crossed your mind, if your mouth never dropped at the sight of a woman with desirable body size, you are too good for this world. If, it did, but you could control yourself for you know how to make the difference between thought and action, perhaps teach your girlfriend the same. If, you could not control it, learn to be accommodative more often.
#8 Be Practical
In the world of coalition and correlation, you even need to smile at your enemy. As such, bearing a practical approach in mind, if you come to think of it, is it possible to not talk to someone or to ignore them completely when they are trying to put in effort just to be with you?
Don't think of it as a competition lest you won't be able to perform in your daily life. The competitive spirit looks good in sports. Dating your girlfriend is not a sport. It is a deliberate choice that you have made and that your girlfriend has given you consent to do.
The difference between you and him is your girlfriend's consent. However, the lurking fear that very soon the table might turn around and you might lose her to this guy will be there. It is your girlfriend who can assure you that she is yours.
Perhaps tell your girlfriend that you are afraid of losing her. See her response and the reason for it. Whether she is in denial of it ever happening, or she uses the opportunity to express the challenges that she as your girlfriend might be facing will show how serious she is about you.
#9 Stalk your girlfriend
You can try stalking your girlfriend. It will give you a clear idea about how things are going in her life when you are not by her side. Whether she stays her person or tries hard to mingle with the crowd.
If it is the latter, she might be exchanging numbers with people and humoring whoever comes her way because she seeks validation. Without that, her confidence level drops. She is not saying things because you are not honest with her in your feedback or because you always try to make her feel better. To know more and if you suspect that your girlfriend might be changing numbers with others, click on the link - Exchanging Numbers While in a Relationship.
#10 Pay attention to their body language
If you get the chance to observe your girlfriend and the guy talking together, it will easily solve their problems. You would know what they talk about and how they talk about it.
If you sense some kind of tension, you ought to ask them about it. Use your boyfriend's license to fetch clarification. It will give you an idea about what is happening.
She cannot choose not to answer you when something has become a bother. Moreover, it is not that you haven't shown patience with her. If she is not cheating on you, she won't have any reason to take you in confidence unless this is something about you that she has been planning.
To sum up, talking with anyone even if that person is your crush is harmless. The deal is when the talk becomes more than mere exchanging of conversations but until then you will have to exercise patience. Your girlfriend should not feel that you don't trust her.