My Girlfriend Doesn't Trust Me - Here's Why & How To FixShe has caught you lying to her. Remember, your girlfriend eyes all your moves that include all the words that you have spoken or not spoken to her. A woman loves her man unconditionally but if you waver in her trust, she will give you a hard time and you will have to keep earning her trust till the time she begins to trust you again.
A relationship is founded on trust. When you discover that your girlfriend doesn't trust you as much, you get disheartened. The mental pressure keeps you down. You are not able to focus on your work because your girlfriend keeps calling and texting to keep an eye on you.
You had not imagined your relationship to be like this, right? You question where it went wrong. I'm here to help you out. Worry not. Keep reading below to know more.
Reasons why your girlfriend doesn't trust you
Your girlfriend has trust issues. She doesn’t trust a person readily. She makes them work for it. This might be due to her personal experience or because she hates to give people leverage to disappoint her. Hence, don’t get too anxious. It is in her nature. However, to know more, continue reading below.
#1 She has been misled before
If your girlfriend broke up with her ex or one of her exes because she was misled by them, it takes a lot of courage on her account to trust someone again. She understands that her body has needs and it is good to keep a boyfriend but to trust the boyfriend completely and start family planning with him is nowhere on her plan sheet.
You might get annoyed when the conversations waver in the direction where you feel that you are reporting to your girlfriend. She is consistently inspecting your whereabouts and seeking proof for the same. It must give you a hard time when your girlfriend asks you to share images when she is out with her colleagues.
Hence, what you need to do here is to deal with the matter delicately. Use your mind more than your heart over here. Since you are aware that your girlfriend will want more information, feed it to them before she asks for it. Let her get so certain in her assurances that she is pushed to tell you with all your heart,
“Baby, I want you to have a great time with your friends. Don’t let me bother you here. After all, one day, I might be meeting with them and I would like to maintain a good impression.”
Reaching a certain stage takes time and maintaining it will take painstaking effort. But the journey can become beautiful too. Your efforts will seem to be effortless to you when you love her with all your heart. You won’t think of all this as a botheration but would take pride in making the information public that you are taking pictures to send to your girlfriend because you miss her and you want to or intend to spend the rest of your life with her.
#2 You have many female friends
If you keep more female friends than males, and if you are a sweetheart in all their books, that is, you never say no to them when they ask for favors, or you don’t know when and where to draw boundaries, or if you have ever prioritized your friends over your girlfriend, trust me, any girl will have insecurity issues.
Suggesting you keep your distance from your female friends who always had your back won’t be too good. What you can do here is, introduce them to your girlfriend so that they ask her for company whenever they hang out. Meanwhile, befriend your girlfriend’s friends so that she understands that you are a charmer and her friends give credibility to your character.
When you decide on learning to find solutions rather than getting too worked up over the problems at hand, you will stand victorious. Your girlfriend will admire you and will start looking up to you. She will learn how to not allow things to crawl up her nerves but deal with the situations calmly. While you cannot be the most perfect person, you can always give the best of your potential.
#3 You are very popular
If you have a popular personality, your girlfriend might find herself dwarfing in your shadow. She might not like that all the lights are on you. If you have had many girlfriends before, or if your dating scenario is a hot topic for people, she might question whether to trust your motives or not.
Dating an influencer, a public pleaser, is very difficult. As such, you should learn to prioritize your girlfriend even before others. I’m not suggesting you participate in an overhanging or too extrinsic public display of affection if that makes your girlfriend uncomfortable. I want you to be more gentle in your manners.
Let the chivalrous side come out in the presence of your girlfriend. These signs would be, holding the door for her, holding the chair for her, holding her hands, dancing with her, taking her over to places with you, discussing your challenges and problems with her, and involving and imbibing her in your life.
#4 You are hot
If you have a hot physique, your girlfriend would notice all the eyeing. Usually, a girl will take immense pride to be able to keep a hot boyfriend but when she understands that perhaps she doesn't compliment you fairly, she might get unnerved.
There is nothing worse than that creeping feeling that your boyfriend might feel that you are not good enough for him and therefore leave you be. Hence, either appreciating her presence and calling her beautiful or pushing and helping her to reach her goals can prove useful.
Tell her that you like her the way she is not it is not up to her complete potential. She can look better and you can help her with that. Share your diet routines with her. Share your recipes.
#5 You are always horny
If you are always horny, your girlfriend might feel that she is getting wasted with you. She might feel that you are with her for only one purpose. It is to satiate your drive for needs.
The thought might occur to her that you might go wayward to satisfy yourself. This will scare her. If she has made it known among her friends that she is dating you or if she has posed as a couple with you, she will also be scared for her dignity here.
Have you heard the song Creeping by the weekend? Try to feel its lyrics when you listen to it next time. It comprehends a person's emotions very well when they are scared that their partner might cheat on them.
#6 You don't treat her right
If you haven't been treating your girlfriend right, she might feel that it is because you are cheating on her. Now, what does it mean by treating her right?
You need to ask about her preferences wherever you are making a decision that involves her interest. You should make decisions mutually. You should try and make her involved in your life. She should not feel divorced from it.
Try to understand this, your girlfriend needs to know you inside out as do you. Merely knowing how you are to her is not enough. You might be at your best with her and at your worst with others. You should offer her more than that.
#7 You have lied to her
If you have lied to your girlfriend and got caught once, she will question all your motives and actions. Don't expect her to trust you blankly. Expect her to scrutinize your behavior through and through.
An honest person has nothing to fear. If she blames you for something and you know that you have done nothing wrong, your eyes will not twitch when she calls you a liar.
What you need to do during such interrogations is look her in the eyes while giving your explanation. She will get intimidated and will think twice before questioning you again.
#8 You flirt with others
If you openly flirt with any or every woman who comes your way even before your girlfriend, she is certain to get offended. You cannot object to her unless she too flirts with others.
Giving and getting space in a relationship is a major issue. Each one of us has our set of anxieties and expectations. Hence, it is a thoughtful practice to set the ground rules before asking someone out.
Your needs, understandings, and thinking process should align with each other lest you won't deem them to be compatible. To know more about the concerned subject, click on this link - Exchanging Numbers While in a Relationship.
#9 You had cheated on your ex
If it is a well-acknowledged fact that you had cheated on your ex by sleeping with someone else and she had made a public display of disapproval, your girlfriend might think that you may cheat on her as well.
She might not be able to put on her views before you in a straightforward manner if you had cheated on your ex with her. If she has been the third person in your life before, she will always suspect other women to be the third person in your life.
This fear and mistrust is an issue that lurks and haunts every relationship. It begins in childhood and takes the form of sibling rivalry. You need to understand that human nature is such. If you are facing all these problems, it means that you are in a normal relationship.
Had there not been any problem, it wouldn't mean that you are in an ideal relationship but that there is a lack of interest. It will show that you are not sharing enough with each other.
#10 It is a long-distance relationship
The most common problem in a long-distance relationship is trust issues. It is natural because you are not meeting your partner personally. Hence, whenever they are not available over the phone or via message, you don't who they are with and what they might be doing.
It is an indirect way to express your longing for them. What your girlfriend wants is to share her time and space with you. However, she is unable to do it. What you need here is giving redirection to her insecurities.
Either you don't doubt each other, or you don't date, or you give a journal every hour to explain what has been keeping you engaged. Such problems and gaps do not occur when you can fly to each other whenever you feel lonely. But if the distance is huge, the tendency of cheating and doubt will be greater.
#11 You like a different body type
If you have been too insistent about liking a different body type, if all your exes have had that body time, if your jaw drops at the sight of the curves of other women, if you like, follow, and comment on the photos and posts of other women, it is a blessing that your girlfriend is still seeing you.
Girls feel too insecure when they look at another woman. Now, if that woman has a larger breast, or more swaying hips, protruded lips, or hourglass shape, it will burn your girl down.
The mantra of a relationship should be that both partners are perfect for each other even in their imperfections. When you realize that and you make each other feel that way, you will be in communal bliss.
#12 You forgot her birthday
If you forget your girlfriend's birthday, she will be mad at you. Usually, both partners participate in the birthday countdown. They do special things to remind their parents that one of the most special days in their life is around the corner.
The importance of birthdays, even if you as a partner feel it is overrated, should not be put before your girlfriend like that. You need to put aside your feelings and run to celebrate her special day.
If you find this too difficult, you need to use some creative medium to show her why you love this day as much as you dread it. She needs to feel you. If you fail to do both, or if it's too late, you can still make amends.
Some of the quick tips are to throw her a party, take her out on an outing, invite her friends, give her a present, or give her something customized. A customizable present is meaningful. It enriches your bond and strengthens it.
#13 You have started changing your DP too often
Your girlfriend will be awestruck upon finding that her boring boyfriend after all this time of dating has suddenly started putting up new display pictures on his social media accounts.
This would suggest two things. The first is that you have got a renewed interest in yourself. The second is that you have a strong reason for this renewed interest.
Your girlfriend is more interested in discovering the latter before appreciating the former. She needs to figure out if it is all worth it or not. She will be fidgeting unless you give her a reply that she would deem fit.
A fit reply here would be honesty. If it was something that got you excited and interested, share it with her. Show her that you are hers and that whatever new change might have come in, it will not change anything between the two of you. You can also show her that you want her to notice you more as if the spark is lost, and you are trying desperately to renew it.
#14 You stay online all night but don't text her
Your girlfriend might be stalking you and she might discover that you were online all night last night. As a result, she might want to make inquiries about the same. If you could explain to her the reason which kept you up, say, you are suffering from somnambulism and are unable to get proper sleep, or there was a pending task and the deadline is the next day, or you are planning something special for her, or a friend of yours need your help.
As long as you can show her your standpoint and justify the same, she will trust you. The moment you show a lack of confidence or are unable to show proof of your words, she will start losing her faith.
#15 Her parents are a divorcee
If your girlfriend's parents are divorced, it will be hard to convince her that true love exists. While she might have agreed to give you a chance, she never openly shares her secrets with you.
This shows that she doesn't trust you enough. Not trusting one doesn't mean blaming and questioning them. It has another side too which shows that the person isn't opening up enough. They might be affectionate towards you but won't take their chances by blindly trusting you.
The best way here is to be patient with them. Give them enough time to open up to you. Once they see how relentless you are in your loyalty, they will give up on surrendering themselves to you.
#16 You have become distant
If you have suddenly started acting distant with your girlfriend by not calling her as much as you used to, not answering her phone call at once, removing her picture from your profile, leaving her messages on seen, not asking her about her day, not showing any willingness to meet her, spending more time with your friends than you do with her, etc., she might feel that you are moving strongly towards a break-up.
Proposing a person is not the big deal, maintaining a relationship is. You need to show your devotion to that person. You need to keep that person at the top.
Your priorities should be sorted when it comes to them. You need to prove that you are consistently in love with them. Only then will the person truly trust you. Had earning trust been that easy, life would have been a cakewalk.
To learn more about your girlfriend's insecurities, click on this link - My Girlfriend Thinks I Will Leave Her.
What to do when your girlfriend doesn't trust you?
You need to earn her trust by staying consistent in whatever you do. Your words and actions should coincide. She should not feel that she is dating a hypocrite. Whatever you do, be honest and real.
As humans, we understand that we all have limits but it is not important to get limited by those limits. Set the benchmark. What is the bare minimum that you can do to keep your lady happy and fulfilled? Don’t know yet? Continue reading below to find out.
#1 Ask her where is she facing the problem
The first step towards any mending or reformation is to have a healthy conversation. Ask your girlfriend to rate her happiness on a scale of one to ten. Then ask her what can you do to bring her more happiness or what is keeping her from staying fully happy.
Even for your girlfriend to understand that her happiness is such a major concern to you would be much appreciated. These are how you begin healthy conversations. You need to let go of all the setbacks and start every day with a note of positivity.
Your conscience should be clean. See, as long as you have the faith in yourself that you are not doing anything that is morally unethical, you would be able to give the best of your performance. A guilty conscience doesn’t work the way a guilt-free conscience does.
Your girlfriend will also learn in the process to call spade a spade. Be that pride in her life. The best things never happen in a day.
#2 Be more expressive
If you don’t like the way your girlfriend doesn’t invest her trust in you, say so. I am not asking you to be blunt here. Though being bluntly honest should not be that bad either, all you need to ensure is that you don’t hurt her sentiments.
Being more open and expressive, or to be candid in your conversations is not easy. It is a challenge for most people, especially when dealing with the ones who mean or have started meaning the world to them. You think twice before speaking because you don’t want to hurt them.
How do you express your concern without hurting your girlfriend or making your words stink? You do it by disclosing the intent of having the dialogue before initiating the conversation. Put it in simple words by saying,
"Baby, I'm having a hard time understanding…" or, "Baby, let's use our time to have a mindful conversation today. I want to share something with you… I also want to hear you out wholeheartedly…"
#3 Include her more in your life
Find out ways in which you can include your girlfriend more in your life. This would include clubbing together, enrolling in sports together, going out to watch a movie together, going out to watch a race together, and sharing experiences so that she doesn't feel left alone.
The reason to have enriching experiences together makes way for a long-term relationship. If you are certain to keep her as your woman for life or even as a very good friend if things don't turn out in the long run, this is the way to go.
If your friends make fun of the entire equation and try to ridicule you by calling you names, tell them that you are proud of your woman and you are glad that things are happening this way. Eventually, they will learn from you and raise their bar accordingly.
#4 Do more video calls
The best way to stay connected and build trust is by doing more video calls. It will help her materialize what you do, and how you keep yourself, she can take a look at your immediate environment, know more about your eating habits, et cetera.
This is a benefit of technology and one must take advantage of it. Most people in the dating crown, you will see, use technology to stalk each other.
People in our generation are so insecure that they keep on looking for flaws, loopholes, or cheating elements in others so that they are not fooled in love.
What we need to understand and estimate is the proper use of technology. The day you begin to use it right, you will realize that it is after all a blessing.
#5 Take her out with you
If you haven't gone out with your girlfriend recently, she might think that it is because you are going out with someone else. This someone could be your friend or colleague too but she won't listen to a word you say in explanation.
Hence, taking out your girl from time to time is very necessary. Plan a movie date, book a table at a new restaurant, or visit the same cafe where you took her for the first time again.
Make it noteworthy. Even taking her out for a walk or a long drive would be meaningful. Encourage her to click pictures together. When you pose with her, she will know that you like posing with her.
#6 Spend the night together
Spending the night together will help in making both of you intimate. You share a different zone when you become bed partners. It will also help you in becoming more candid.
While you stay together, there will be delicate moments. You can employ these moments to seek clarity, make confessions, and reveal secrets. At such moments, the listener will give weightage to your words. It will make both of you come as one.
#7 Offer her to live together
If your girlfriend has such trust issues, what's better than offering her to live together? A live-in relationship will dispel all the mistrust at once. You will be sharing every moment. There will be absolute transparency between you.
You will learn to care for each other. You will be more supportive. You will learn not only each other’s strengths but also weaknesses. Most importantly, you will learn that no matter what comes, you are not giving up on each other.
The question of trust will get obsolete. What might become a consideration are the attributes that you dislike about each other. Either you will have to learn to cope with those attributes or you might give up thinking that you will not be able to deal with this. The whole point is to help you understand yourself and your needs and to make a firm decision accordingly.
#8 Make it official
If your girlfriend thinks that you are a wayward person, or if you have a casanova personality, she might feel that you might take the advantage of the moment or in the spur of the moment, you might do something that you are not supposed to do.
The situation becomes worse if you are an addict. It could be alcohol or drugs, but if you get blank or get too swayed by your needs, it can have a disastrous impact. As such, one way of dealing with it is to not get inebriated and the other way to earn the trust of your girlfriend as well as to make it public knowledge that you are taken is to make your relationship official.
It will be a red flag for all those who have been wanting to have their business with you. It shows that you are a person of character and not one of consequence. You believe in building your destiny and not the other way around. It will make your girlfriend proud and keep you contended.
#9 Make her your secret sharer
If you make your girlfriend the first person with whom you share every piece of news, good or bad, happy or sad, she will become your confidential secret partner. This will help in withdrawing her insecurities which creep within her in terms of your best friend.
It is a gesture that shows that you are adjusting all your equations with other people to give the priority to your girlfriend. By doing this, you are paying her the utmost respect. She will look with respect by one and all. Your friends and family would know what she means to you and won’t do anything to hurt her. She will find the gesture thoughtful and would appreciate it.
#10 Apologize for your mistakes
If you have made mistakes that your girlfriend has taken by heart, it is time to apologize for it. The apology could be a cute note or letter which explains how much it pains you to have made your girlfriend undergo so much even if it was done unconsciously on your part.
It could also take the form of something done to make her happy such as cooking her favorite dish, buying her favorite ice cream, giving her a foot massage, or sitting for manicure and pedicure rounds with her.
The idea is to make your girlfriend cherish your company and withhold any estrangements. You both should realize that you need to work as a team and that you have common motives. When there is no difference or indifference between both of you, everything else will be in place.
#11 Recreate memories
Recreating memories is always special. You can select that one precise moment that changed the journey with your girlfriend. You can do this by asking her to wear the same dress which she had worn that day and making the same arrangements with a bottle of champagne and fine music.
Unless your girlfriend is deliberately trying to find a reason to break up with you, this gesture will give you all her heart. She will melt and you will be able to start afresh. Perhaps this time you take the oath to deal with her heart softly without giving her any blows.
#12 Stop flirting with others
Perhaps stop flirting with others when you can see well that it makes your girlfriend uncomfortable. Unless your girlfriend does it too, you should refrain from such conducts more so when other women are not aware that you are committed. It is technically a crime and can have serious consequences.
If it is lighthearted banter among your friends, help your girlfriend in seeing it. Show her the chats. Tell her that they are more like family than friends and you can never think of doing something inappropriate with them.
#13 Don't get impatient
Take your time to understand your girlfriend and allow her the same. We have a habit of rushing things. You cannot win over a person in a day. It requires consistency and true effort. She should be able to see in your eyes what she means to you.
Also, try to see the reciprocation here. It is alright if you are sharing your all and she is hesitating to let go of her deepest secret at once. However, it is not okay if she is sharing her secrets with others. Have such conversations with her and while asking and acknowledging her boundaries, also be vocal about yours.
#14 Don’t do things that trigger her
Try to understand what are the things that trigger your girlfriend. See her reactions and change in facial expressions whenever you tell her something. It will help you to understand what are her observations, speculations, and conclusions.
She might be too judgemental. Learn to ask her, “What do you feel about this?” When you encourage a person to share their opinion, they will get conscious about what to say and they won’t get time to make up a story. They will have to be honest or close to honest with you.
Don’t give a reaction of disapproval all at once even if she blurts out something that you find disagreeable lest she will never share her opinions again. These inputs are for you to figure out how you want to shape things with her.
#15 Show her commitment
The last and most important thing to keep in mind is perseverance. Do not give up on your girlfriend. She would find your dedication pleasing and moving. Show her what true love feels like. If anything, she will feel elated and blessed to have you in her life.
If your girlfriend doesn’t trust you enough, it only means you need to prove your trust to her. Winning trust might be a tedious process and the painstaking efforts might overwhelm you but once you have her trust, she won’t let go of it easily. That’s the beauty of having a trustworthy person in your life. So, win her heart slowly but capture it permanently.