My Girlfriend Doesn't Let Me Touch Her [Here's Why & What to Do]Your girlfriend didn't allow you to touch her because she hasn't reached that comfort level with you yet. There is something from her past experiences that keeps her from trusting others. Be consistent in your behavior, and don't stop loving her; she will be over her fears soon.
A relationship gets stronger when two people start sharing physical proximity and feel not only comfortable in doing it but also an urge to spend all their time together.
The age we live in, the platonic form of love is too idealistic to be true. If you don't share that zone, it will put off the spark that has brought you this far.
If your girlfriend doesn't allow you to touch her, it is a worrying cause. When you are dating a person, you want to get cozy with them. However, if they don't feel the same way, something is going wrong.
Worry not! In this article, I'll help you identify the flaw and discuss the measures that can be taken to handle the situation wisely.
Reasons why your girlfriend doesn't allow you to touch her
Your girlfriend doesn't allow you to touch her because she is still making up her mind if she wants to be with you. Dating has become so easy these days. With so many options, girls keep drawing comparisons and need constant reassurance if they are the right pick.
However, your girl might have a different reason. You will be able to know her better. I've shared the most popular causes for unnatural and off-putting behavior. Keep reading to know more!
#1 She doesn't trust you
It might be that your girl has trust issues. If, by any chance, you are at all secretive or if you are an introvert, she might not trust you easily. You must open up to her first for her to open up to you in return.
Tip: Tell her about your life. Tell her about the things you had done or achieved before you came to know her. Don't restrict yourself to mere achievements. Tell her about the girls you have been with. It is important to let your partner know about the person you have dated in the past. However, be very careful with the details. At no point in the conversation should you make her feel that you miss your ex! While sharing this input is significant, it must be articulated accordingly not to feel insecure or jealous.
#2 It triggers past experiences
Do you know about her past? There might be things that she hasn't shared with you yet. She might have undergone some unhappening events or encounters, making it difficult for her to get close to anyone.
Don't worry. Give her some time. Let her trust you; meanwhile, you have faith in her and the process. Eventually, ask her if there's anything that she would like to share with you. If she decides to open up, support her.
Please give her a hug and make her feel that you understand. Show her that now she has you, there's nothing to worry about and no reason to turn back to look at past events because you have designed a beautiful future for her ahead.
#3 She is sensitive
She is sensitive to touch. Yes, if you hold her, she might start shaking. It is not very common, but there are many such cases. There's nothing to worry about. You got to be tender with her. Make her comfortable.
Once it's mutual and an understanding is formed, you can speed up the pace. But at first, go slow. Take one step at a time.
#4 You're too wild
She might have different preferences from you. It is best to ask your partner if they enjoy foreplay more or their preferences. These things are meant to be shared. It can also come to you naturally while you are at it. But if the moment is getting deferred into the future by your partner, it's better to talk these out via chats.
This will ease both sides. Once the preference is known, you will know how to take it ahead so that it can be pleasurable to both.
#5 She doesn't like PDA
Are you getting your space when attempting to get closer to her? Not every girl enjoys Public Display of Affection, especially if your relationship is not official.
Get her into a comfort zone and a private setting, make her comfortable, understand her willingness, allow her the time she needs, and then move ahead with her consent.
#6 She doesn't like you
She might have accepted your proposal in the heat of the moment, but there is a chance that she changed her mind later. She doesn't know how to tell it to you without breaking your heart.
Tip: It is better to know her heart. Ask her if she is certain that she likes you. This will give her a chance to rethink things before giving you an answer. If she doesn't like you, she will express it with a tone of regret. However, if she likes you, she will understand that something is bothering you as you came up with this question. If she asks you, tell her that you were concerned as she is not comfortable with you.
#7 She is worried
It's not you. It is something else. She is not in the right state of mind at the moment. There is something that has been worrying her for a while. It might be something domestic, it might be related to her past, or it might have to do with her workplace.
Ask her if there is something that is concerning her. Show her that you care and you want to help her in fixing the problem. This way, she might share her problems with you. In finding a solution, you will get to know each other more.
#8 She feels you are desperate
If your girlfriend feels that you are desperate, you got to work on your conduct. If she feels that you are desperate for her, it's okay. You can be desperate for the person you love.
However, that desperation shouldn't make them uncomfortable. If it makes them uncomfortable, you need to mend your ways. Change the way you talk or address her.
Show her respect. It is very important that you feel respected towards the person you love. Showing respect will earn you the same, and she will automatically start getting comfortable with you. A person well respected does not come up as desperate.
#9 She thinks you're not serious about her
Girls often feel that guys only want to get into their pants, and once it's done, they lose their interest. If you are serious about her and want it to be long-term, make her feel so. It's alright to move along her pace. Not allowing you to touch her didn't mean that she did not want to get cozy with you.
She wants to live and make love to you. Be patient with her. Once she is confident that you are seriously into her, there's no stopping the two of you!
#10 You never share your side of the story
If you stay reserved and while you are a good listener, you lack speaking skills, it might make her suspicious towards you. She might feel that you are keeping things from her. This is not the right kind of feeling. You don't want your girlfriend to hold you in such a light.
Start sharing your side of the story with her. If there are things you don't like, instead of pleasing her, try to be candid with her. She will not only appreciate it but mind it at the same time.
#11 She is Catholic
If your girlfriend is too religious, it might be her thought process that is preventing her from getting close to you. Once she starts feeling completely sure about you so much that your love becomes her religion, she will re-define the rules.
Until then, you try to be religious too. Sharing the same system of beliefs might bring you close.
#12 She thinks it's a mere infatuation
It may be that she is not sure about how she feels for you. She is taking time to study her feelings while being with you. She is caught in the dilemma of whether it's a mere infatuation or she is seriously into you. Try to talk this out. There's nothing wrong in asking her straight if she likes you or not.
#13 She likes someone else
It might be that her feelings are invested somewhere else, and she is using you as a prop to get over that person. We often do that as it helps overcome the post-breakup phase easily.
If her behavior irks you a lot, dig in her past a bit. Try to know if she saw someone right before she started seeing you. Talking it out in these lines will also help a great deal. Be polite in your approach and try to come to an understanding together.
#14 Her ex is back
It may be that someone from her past, a person she used to be obsessed with or liked hanging out with, is back in her life. It doesn't mean that she likes this guy or is still in love with him. It might be that she is afraid as everything is happening so fast.
Allow her some time to understand and accept the process. Life has a habit of offering and taking away people now and then. Sometimes, the constant incoming and outgoing are too much to keep up.
Give her time to understand that you're there to be the constant in her life she has been seeking for so long.
What can you do to make your girlfriend comfortable?
It would help make your girl comfortable before you get cozy with her. Guys tend to feel that if a girl is dating them, they would be comfortable getting laid with them.
However, this is certainly not the case. Getting into a relationship is a starting point. It suggests they will be with you, call you theirs, but get romantic calls for the right mood, vibe, and setting.
Create the mood at the correct time and place; she will be all yours. I've shared several ways in which you can make her comfortable and earn her trust.
#1 Spend more time with her
When two people spend time together, many things are bound to happen. They will fight, they will love, but most importantly, they will stick by one another. This is what brings them close.
Don't abandon her. Spend more time with her. Try to double the time you are already spending. She will see your efforts and appreciate them. Putting efforts is essential from both sides. The reciprocation might bring you the desired results.
#2 Have faith in your love
Never lose faith in the capacity of your love. When love is unconditional, it is bound to attract the beloved.
Give her that unconditional love. Show the changes she had never seen before. Make her believe in love. Once she desires to experience it in the true sense, she will wave the red flag at you.
#3 Try to know her experience
It would be best if you had an idea about your partner's past. It helps you to figure out things that can trigger them. You would know precisely what it is that pisses them off and is a mood-turner—the actions which make them turn away from you.
A little digging, politely asking her about it will give you hints. The points or places she gets annoyed or her expression change a narrative. Study it closely.
Start working on it. See if you are repeating a similar pattern of something that has already happened with her. If you are, disengage yourself from doing it.
#4 Be her friend
If you rushed into the relationship, allow some time out to become her friend first. She needs to open up to you. You got to be her best friend first. It won't be easy. Trust me on that. It is easier to date a girl or gets cozy with her than it is to be her best friend.
It will need a lot of hard work, patience, and understanding. More than anything, it needs willingness.
You must be willing to push yourself beyond the horizon, to take a step ahead when she takes one back. To support her, comfort her, be with her. Be her friend, and you will win her inside out.
#5 Talk it out
In a relationship, communication is very important. You must communicate your needs, your expectations, your experiences, along with your plans and necessities.
If you haven't discussed it yet, first and foremost, share it with your girlfriend. Tell her the importance of communication and how you are keen to learn all she would like to share.
Don't let it be a one-sided communication. Give your inputs wherever you get a chance. It should be an exchange of ideas where you try to know each other more to understand each other better.
In the process, you may pose your queries delicately. Show her that it hurts you when she keeps you at a distance from her. Explain to her the need and significance of warmth to you and nurture any relationship.
#6 Take her friend's help
Knowing your girlfriend's friend can come to your assistance. You can seek their help, take their advice, plan a surprise for your girlfriend, and execute it right with her friend's support. Besides, it's important that her friends like you.
You must not only be in their good book but must rank high. They should take your support and favor you. It would be best to try to be an example of the perfect boyfriend.
They must wish to have someone like you in their life. This will not only help you in earning your girlfriend's trust but will also account for optimism.
#7 Plan a date
Taking your girlfriend on dates now and then will strengthen your bond and make it special. This will not only keep you on their mind but also create a desire in them to get to know you inside out.
They would begin to want to spend all their time with you. They will start giving you the treatment you deserve.
#8 Master the art of making conversations
Don't be boring or monotonous in your conversations. It is important to master the skill of beginning a conversation and to lead it on steadily. Your girlfriend must not have the urge to close your window and text someone else. Nor should you.
#9 Don't be needy
Never pose yourself as the needy ones. It is not always appreciated. Being needy isn't a flaw, but there should be the right time for it. It shouldn't be abrupt.
You must first take into account what she is feeling at the moment you want to express your needs. Is she mentally with you while sharing her physical space?
Hold her hands, don't let her eyes look elsewhere. When you have the attention you need, slowly move on to the next step.
#10 Tell her more about you
Ask her if there's anything she would want to know about you. Show her your photo album. Tell her about your childhood and your family.
Girls love to learn about families. She will also feel special as you select her to share these details. In no time, she will start sharing her side of the story.
Talk about the most memorable moments, the time you cannot forget. Talk about your firsts: first date, love, first success, first failure. All these will make you an interesting persona, and she would be willing to know you more.
#11 Be romantic
Being romantic is essential to keep the fire going in a relationship. You can't expect her to feel all loved or get romantic with you if you are not showing gestures or efforts.
The gestures need not be grand. Do things she likes. Could you show up at her dance class? Drive her to her workplace. Send her pizzas. Wear her favorite color. This is how you would send her the true sensations of love.
A relationship needs time and constant effort. In this fast-moving world, you need to give constant assurance that you are there for them and you have their back. They must feel that they can rely upon you. They need to trust you.
Without these, even if you get cozy, it won't last long. Work on these terms as I have shared above, and the rest of the things will fall in place.