7+ Signs That a Woman Has Not Been Sexually Active (& How to Create Desire)

Over time, hypersexuality, asexuality, aromantic, heteroflexible, homoflexible, and the like have become domestic. A keen interest has been taken in how these function and how to tell which is which. Similarly, when you think you are getting green signals from a lady, but when you approach her, it gets weird, and you are in a pickle wondering if you interpreted it wrong, worry not.

It might be that the woman has been so divorced from the sexual world for a while that everything seemed nice when she was fantasizing about it, but now that it has to be done for real, she might get unnerved. While men crave action, most women crave fictional men. The story goes on and on. But to end your misery, I’ll help you find some direction as to why a woman might behave in a certain manner.

Keep reading to learn more.

Signs that tell you the woman has not made love for a long time

It is worth noting that one sign that a woman is not sexually active is her reluctance to be sexually active. She takes her time to get cozy, and she likes to have a good amount of foreplay before initiating the final action, which could give you hints that she has been less active. 

However, everything here is relative, and while you read what follows, kindly note that the signs work best when you find them in combinations; if a few things from the sign below match the woman in question, the likelihood of her not being very active increases. 

#1 She is too clingy 

When she exposes her vulnerable side, seeks repeated validation, and calls you before taking any major or minor decision, you sense that she is more dependent on you emotionally than merely for sexual gratification. The woman is too clingy, and it is because she is sharing her personal space with anyone after a long time. 

When you date such a woman, you need to take up her responsibility. You must know that she will be highly dependent on you most of the time. Also, beware of breaking her heart. Such people can be prone to trauma.

#2 Her social media calls for attention 

While most social media accounts call for attention, you can filter out women who desperately try to secure attention when they have an open account. They reply or entertain random comments. Their posts are not about experiences but about their bodies. 

Because she wants to discuss and learn more about them, these women will only keep guys waiting in their inboxes for a while. She might have been so inactive because she is looking for stability. She might have come out of a trying relationship. Hence, though she might be trying to secure attention, she will meet the consistent ones in their efforts and make her feel safe.

#3 She behaves like a mother 

If the woman tends to behave more like a mother than a girlfriend or partner, that is, if she gets overly caring and mushy, is sensitive to your needs and wants, and is less expressive about her needs, she might have been sexually passive for a long time.

Knowing a person’s history can help a great deal. When you know someone’s past, you will get a vague idea of their experiences or what they have been through. This will assist you in making decisions and making calls. You would know how to make them comfortable with you.

#4 She is hard to please 

If the woman wants to get laid but is hard to please in bed, that is, if her body doesn’t respond to the stimulus easily, she might have been passive sexually. This happens when a person holds certain preconceived notions about certain theories, gender, or society, which makes it difficult for them to accept themselves as part of the living reality. 

They often like to think of themselves as someone on the outside. When you try to make love with them, it shudders them into accepting that they are indeed a part of it all and that this cannot be ignored any further. 

Hence, tension may arise that will hold them back and make them rigid. Because of the signals you may have received from their end, and you may have enjoyed yourself less than you had believed.

#5 She lacks confidence 

Suppose the woman lacks confidence while making replies, stutters in conversation, or seems uneasy when taking the initiative. In that case, she might have been absent from the dating and sexual world for a while. 

There are a few things that can be done to boost her confidence. You can give her a warm look of affection, whisper her name softly in her ears, hold her hands, or take her tenderly in your arms. 

Make her feel that everything is happening for the first time. Show her with your eyes that your feelings are genuine. Make her trust you. Behave in a gentlemanly manner.

Once she is out of the cocoon, she will bask in your light and spread warmth simultaneously.

#6 She overindulges in pleasing you 

A woman doesn’t enjoy putting in an effort. She is more used to being lured by the charm and lulled by the affectionate lover while she throws tantrums, behaves petulantly, and acts like a snob. Hence, it has a deeper significance when you find a woman paying attention and taking steps to please you.

Such a woman is trying hard to please you. She wants you to feel worthwhile. One of the reasons we do it is to make you feel truly loved. She wants to demonstrate that no one can love you as much as she does. The reason for doing this is that she might have taken her previous lover for granted, which might have caused their breakup.

#7 She wants you to stay for the night 

She fears loss. She won’t easily let you go once you enter her life. Hence, if you spend time with her, she will want you to spend more time with her. She will start dreaming about the future. She would plan how her life with you would look in her dreams. 

She will discuss it with you; if you freak out, she will freak out more. Everything about her would be extreme. She might be prone to a nervous breakdown or depression. She might have a history of drug abuse. Or she might have had a very difficult childhood. If not brought up by her parents, she might search for a father figure in the men in her life. 

Before dating her, try to understand her needs. Read the body language and understand the gestures. Take your time before committing, and when you do, keep your word on it.

#8 She is hypersensitive 

If the woman is hypersensitive, meaning she notices how you touch her, remembers your words by heart, is interested in the food you eat, is observant of how you maintain a lifestyle, the way you stay at home and with friends, and gets emotional when you get annoyed or do something heartwarming for her, you will have to be overly tender with her.

Sometimes our intentions are keen, but our actions fail to keep up with what we had truly intended to do. During these times, however, you must remember that you love her with all your heart and that she is precious to you. It will enable you to treat her royally. Although no one is certain, trying to find a way to deal with your flaws without leaving her befuddled and possibly seeking counseling when necessary can be beneficial.  

#9 She is always aroused (very restless) 

When a woman is experiencing a surge of hormones, she is restless and fidgety even when you are not in the mood, and she does things to arouse you, perhaps dresses for you, becomes negligent at work, and moans easily during foreplay because she has not been sexually active in a long time. 

At such moments, you must try not to get restless yourself. It would help if you were neither rude nor too keen about her behavior. Be gentle, but don’t overindulge yourself. Reassure her that you are there to please her and have a good time with her. Softly spoken words can make a great deal of difference.

#10 She is seductive (deep neck blouse, low pitch voice) 

When a woman's voice and gestures send shivers down your spine when she knows how to make you feel manly when she makes you feel good about yourself when you enjoy her company when she puts on a deep neckline and subtle makeup, when she wears stockings and high heels. She gives you a distinct look that tells you how unique you are, and she might come across as a seductress casting her spell upon you. She would do so much because she had not felt like this in a long time. 

It's similar to the first time you fall in love. You follow the mantra "their wish is your command." You modify your habits because you want to please them. You seek happiness in their company. 

It is very fortunate to stumble upon a person like that. However, it takes work to maintain consistency. The real test will be taken in time. Will you be able to maintain that fire in her heart? Will you keep on appreciating her efforts? Will she keep on trying to please you? Can you reciprocate it in the same?

#11 She is envious of other women

A woman who is not sexually active will be envious of the frequently laid one. Even when she is friends with those who have boyfriends or like to play around, she might keep a plastic smile plastered when they tell her romantic tales. 

You might even notice that she doesn’t have a good rapport with her female friends. Either she dislikes their company, or they are not fond of her. On their night outs, they might try to avoid her. Only the real ones would try to set her up with a guy she likes.

#12 Her laugh tells it all (she laughs raucously to seek attention)

Remember the "Janice" laughter from friends? When a woman constantly laughs like that, she wants all her senses to focus on her. You adoring her with your eyes isn’t sufficient. She would want you to write verses on how she makes you feel. 

She might get offended if you don’t take the time to appreciate the art that she personifies. Such women would easily fall for cliches. They like to be treated as their father’s princesses. Make them feel that the earth revolves around them, and you will have her heart in your pocket.

#13 She gets touchy in public 

If a woman likes to PDA, she wants to show the world that she has a partner. She would want to do that either because she hasn’t had a partner for long or because her partner is highly attractive. If the case offers her a double deal, she will be head-over-heels infatuated with the guy.

Women don’t usually publicize the nuances of their private lives publicly. On the other hand, guys are mostly seen doing it. It makes them feel powerful. However, when a woman does it, it has to be rooted deeply. If you don't find PDAs comforting, and you've spoken to her about it, but she continues to engage lustfully, don't be surprised if you ask her when the last time she indulged in PDA was, and she says she can't remember.

#14 She likes to be dominated 

When a woman readily submits herself and relishes being controlled, treated like a baby girl, and dominated, it might indicate that she avoids taking control and dictating the terms because she doesn’t know how to do it. She is not well-versed in the narrative of power control during intimacy and fears that she might do something awkward. 

If you get intimidated by such a person, show her that you don’t mind being controlled and that you will embrace all her kinky fantasies unhesitatingly. Perhaps, try to have it come out in conversations first. If you will, you can put it forward as a question, allow her the time to frame an answer, and be extremely thoughtful in your reply. Make her feel at home.

#15 She is too sober (no fun, no friends, no drugs) 

When a girl lacks a social life, she neither parties nor hangs out, nor does she show a willingness to perform mischief or play a prank; she is too sober to be sexually active. It doesn’t indicate that she is not horny. It means that she keeps herself tamed and tries to avoid conversation on the subject of love and intimacy. 

She is a workaholic who likes to keep herself so preoccupied with work that she can readily use it as an excuse not to party or get dirty. She might not exchange memes for fun or talk dirty. She likes to stay crisp in conversations, and even when she likes someone, she prefers not to confess it. It is just a way of living that she has adapted to keep life trouble-free.

#16 She advocates Platonism 

While most women enjoy courtship and fancy chivalry, a sexually passive woman would strongly advocate platonism. She would be highly infused with meditation and fascinated by the life of a yogi. Even when she falls in love, she wants to keep it sex free. 

She might even find the sight of reproductive organs repulsive. She adores friendship and humanity. That is the essence of her being. Everything changes over time when she falls for the one who defies all her preconceived notions about love and life. But until then, she will regard friendship as supreme.

How to create desire in a woman who is not sexually active? 

Creating desire can be a time-consuming task. It has to be slow to make it go deep. The sensation that makes you feel wanted and persuades others that you are exotic and exuberant. Aggressively flirting could be one way to deal with things. However, it doesn’t come with a lack of confidence. Worry not. Continue reading to learn how to create desire in women to want you.

#1 Please her 

There are many ways to please a woman. Know her likes and dislikes, and groom yourself accordingly. Keep your facial hair the way she would like it. Look at the celebrities she follows. You will get an idea of her preferences. 

Dress smartly. Let your abs do the talking. Go shirtless before her and see her reaction. Know her likes and dislikes for chocolates and goodies, and carry them with you whenever you are around her. When you offer it to her, she will accept it, and you will get an icebreaker. Tell her why you like it, and make the description sensual.

#2 Talk dirty 

Making conversations packed with sexual innuendos could be the wildcard entry she needs in her life. It's a win-win situation for you when you open the door for her and welcome her with the opportunity to dupe you into getting laid.

Having "dirty limelight" conversations helps to warm things up. Remember, once a person gets comfortable with you in words and undresses in texts, they won’t hesitate much when doing it in person. Imagination breeds action. When both of you know that the fire is ignited, it won’t take much time to spread itself into consumption.

#3 Take her to the movies 

Enjoying theater together can be heartwarming. You share the emotions and reactions and are temporarily removed from the immediate monotonous reality. This allows you to be extravagant in your warmth and affection.

You whisper certain ideas, hold hands, and perhaps you get the opportunity to take her in your arms—there is friendship with a tinge of “something more” attached to it. It can be a rewarding experience.

#4 Compliment her 

The easiest way to pave your path to a woman’s heart is by showering her with praise, appreciating her existence, complimenting her beauty, and making her feel that there is no one even close to her in beauty. 

Beauty is a relative concept. You must make your girl feel admired. You must show that she makes you drool with the way she walks. You must sing to her, dedicate her playlists, take her out on musicals, or learn to play an instrument primarily to please her.

#5 Share pictures  

Sharing pictures builds up a certain amount of tension. You witness each other in certain poses, perhaps beholding the secrets of bodies, vulnerabilities, and intricacies. When someone does it before you, it ensures that you hold a special spot in their life. It makes both the beholder and the spectacle feel special. 

You can start by sharing pictures of your experiences, travels, childhood memories, friends, and workspace. Give her time to make comments and compliments. Try to read from her comments what she is trying to indicate or how she feels about you. When you get a chance, perhaps ask, “Do you want to see my gym shots?" I bet it can make you drool!”

This will change the angle for her, and she will start imagining you through a different lens. Once there is an exchange of images and approval, you plan a date at your favorite place.

#6 Make her comfortable (show her there is no judgment) 

Never make a person uncomfortable in how they carry themselves or about their sexuality. In the case of a woman, don’t say anything extreme that makes it sound like she is desperate. Asking vague questions could be too discouraging.

Instead, give her situations and scenarios. Help her choose. Tell her how you would like to spend time with her to make her feel special. Romanticize intimacy. Show your vulnerable side to her, and tell her you to like to bare yourself naked before her. 

Invite her into n#dity. Admire her complexion. Use similes and metaphors to show her how much her skin, tone, and shape mean to you. Admit that she drives you crazy.

#7 Suggest counseling 

If you feel counseling might help her, she needs to share whatever is keeping her from getting intimate with someone. It might be her last relationship that triggers her every time she tries to move on in life. 

While most people give up on the grieving part, others submerge themselves so much in it that they are constantly overwhelmed by it. Counseling can help both of you figure out what the case of the woman in question is. 

#8 Be romantic 

A sexually inactive woman might be demisexual. She won’t be prone to n#dity or aroused easily. She might find affection and attachment arousing. 

Making her feel wanted is insufficient. You must make her feel needed. Before you bare your body, you must first bare your heart with the stitches. You'll put your trust in her. 

Sharing excerpts from your past can help her feel for you. She needs to feel at one with you. Slip into her skin and let her slip into yours. Be tender and romantic at heart. Don’t be too vocal about it. Make her feel the charm and experience it.

#9 Try to edge her first (more of foreplay) 

When inviting a sexually passive woman into bed, you must engage her in lengthy episodes of foreplay. This will help arouse her, build up tension, and make her realize what she has been missing in her life, appreciate it, and acknowledge you. 

Edging is a good way to prolong the activity and give her time to make herself comfortable. It results in a satisfying outcome. You will enjoy caressing each other.

#10 Encourage her to use toys 

A woman who has not been upfront in the sexual domain must be encouraged to break the stigma by pleasing herself. Buying her toys that will help with self-affirmation could later turn out to be adventurous. It will make her horny. 

The switching of the modes will be smooth. Both of you will enjoy the process. Introduce her to vibrat#rs and the like first, and then take her shopping for them later. Let her explore all that the playthings have to offer.

#11 Be trustworthy (make her feel safe) 

Securing a woman's trust who has not been on the main front for a while is urgent. She must feel protected before completely giving up on having sex. Such women like to deal with extremes. 

You must assure her you will always safeguard her. Try to escort her at night. Track her cab. Do small things to reassure her that she will be fine if she is with you.

Summing up 

Some ways to understand that a woman has not been present on the main stage for a while are the paradoxical juxtaposition of willingness and hesitation, wanting to take control and give it all up, or being indifferent or completely indulgent. You will realize the need to make her feel loved and secure. Embracing such a soul can be a beautiful journey because when she unlashes herself, she will give you her all.