My Boyfriend Ignores Me When He's With His Friends [SOLVED]Your boyfriend feel, you always need his attention and aren't comfortable sharing him with others. This may cause him to ignore you and only concentrate on his friends.
I know your boyfriend can sometimes be a real piece of work, and I feel you. We've all been in your shoes (or at least most of us have).
You're hanging out with your boyfriend and his friends, and he just ignores you.
Doesn't say a word. Acts like you're not there. And then when the group goes their separate ways, he's all over you, showering you with compliments and kisses.
Has this ever happened to you?
But before you get too upset about your boyfriend's behavior, we want to explore some of the reasons that he might be behaving this way.
Why does he ignore you when you're together? [with possible solutions]
Maybe you're a little stressed out about it and wonder if you're being too sensitive. And it might be one of these nine things.
#1 He may feel like you don't want to hang out with his friends
Hey, I know how it feels when your boyfriend ignores you when he's with his friends. It makes you feel like a third wheel—like you're not wanted.
Maybe he does feel like you don't want to be around his friends.
The thing is, as much as guys love their girlfriends, they also love their bros. Spending time with them is an important part of being a guy, and if they think that being with their friends means you won't be there or worse, that you don't want to be there, they'll probably choose the friends and leave you out of it.
But that doesn't mean it has to stay that way!
You deserve to spend time with your boyfriend AND his friends—and he deserves the same from you. If you're worried about this happening again, here are a few things to try:
- Talk to him about it instead of letting it fester. Let him know how being ignored makes you feel.
- Make plans with him and his friends. Go out together!
- Suggest he invites his friends over so the two of you can hang out at home.
#2 He may be afraid of what his friends think about you
Are you worried your boyfriend is ignoring you when he's with his friends? Does it feel like he isn't interested in introducing you, or that he just wants to spend time with them without you around? You're not alone.
Sometimes it feels like our relationships have a mind of their own, playing out in ways we don't always understand, and it's easy to blame yourself.
But the fact is that sometimes your boyfriend is simply unsure of how you will react if he brings you around his friends. He may be afraid of what they think about you or scared that they'll judge him for the way he behaves while you're around.
Remember: Everybody has insecurities. Just because your boyfriend seems cool and confident with his friends doesn't mean he doesn't have his worries about how they see him. And this could be the reason he acts differently around them than he does around you.
If this describes your situation, fear not: there are steps you can take to get him to open up and start introducing you more often!
- Talk to him about how it makes you feel when he doesn't introduce you or bring you around his friends.
- Encourage him to talk about his feelings, too. Maybe he's worried about something in particular that makes him afraid of introducing you or bringing you around his friends.
- Ask him what would make him feel more comfortable inviting you into these situations—and then do it! If he's nervous because he feels like they won't accept the real
#3 You make him nervous
It's natural to feel hurt when your boyfriend clams up and ignores you in front of his friends. But there are many reasons he might be behaving like this, and it's not always because he sees you as a nuisance or is ashamed of being with you.
One possibility is that he gets nervous around you in front of his friends, which happens to even the most secure people sometimes. Sometimes we just get shy or quiet around our significant others depending on the situation, and it doesn't mean anything bad!
So what do you do if this sounds like your situation?
- Well, first of all, don't freak out! We have some advice that can help you get him to open up and start introducing you more often. Read on!
- You need to talk to him about it! He may not even be aware that he's doing this, so let him know gently.
- In this way, you can tell him that his silence makes you feel uncomfortable and ask how he feels about it. If he brings up that he feels nervous when you're around, then he's already had the conversation with himself, and there's no reason to worry.
- If this sounds like your situation, let him know that it's okay. And don't beat yourself up or think you're doing something wrong: it's totally normal to feel shy and intimidated in certain situations.
#4 He may feel like you always need his attention
The first reason your boyfriend may be ignoring you when he's with his friends is that he may feel like you always need his attention, and he may feel pressured to give it to you.
He may think that something bad will happen if he doesn't pay attention to you. Or maybe he feels resentful because he thinks you don't give him enough time to himself.
In the end, it's just one of those things in relationships. You want your boyfriend's undivided attention 24/7, and he wants a little space sometimes. It's easy for either of you to feel neglected or ignored if the other is getting more of what they want than they are.
You can help alleviate this pressure in several ways so that you both have some breathing room.
- Reach out to your friends and ask if they want to go out for coffee or lunch with you.
- Try to be independent and not clingy or needy when your boyfriend is around his friends.
- Give him space and let him know it's okay to hang out with them without checking in with you every minute.
And above all, be sure to listen to him and treat him as an equal partner in the relationship!
#5 He's an introvert
I know it can be frustrating when you're trying to spend time with your boyfriend, and he disappears whenever his friends are around.
It can feel like he doesn't care about you or that he's being rude by ignoring you—especially if this is the first relationship you've been in with an introvert.
But here's the thing:
Firstly, introverts need a lot of time alone to recharge and process their thoughts before being receptive again and engaging with others.
Your boyfriend might not even realize this is happening, but when he's around his friends, it can be more intense for him than it is for anyone else, and he needs quiet time afterward to recover.
Secondly: It takes time for new couples to develop the kind of intimacy that allows one partner to "check-in" with the other when they're preoccupied with other things.
Introverted partners tend to maintain a pretty close-held emotional circle, so it might take time before your boyfriend feels comfortable communicating with you while he's spending time with his friends.
I'm sure your boyfriend isn't trying to hurt you or make fun of you; being around other people is just very tiring for him.
Have you tried talking to him about it?
#6 He wants to fit in with his friends, and he doesn't know how to do that with you around
We understand it's frustrating when your boyfriend ignores you when he's with his friends. It feels like he does not want to be with you, and that makes a lot of sense because, in those moments, he is choosing to hang out with his friends instead of you.
You know what, girlfriend? He's not ignoring you.
Well, the first thing to know is that this isn't about you. Your boyfriend isn't ignoring you because he doesn't care about you or because he wishes you weren't there—he's trying to fit in with his friends, and he doesn't know how to do that with you around.
Honey, we've all been there. Maybe he's worried that being with you makes him seem like less of a "manly man." Or maybe he just wants to fit in with his friends without having to put on a different "version" of himself that is more comfortable for you.
So how can you make sure that your partner doesn't push you out of the picture when his friends are around?
- First off, it might help you to know that it's important to give him space during outings and time with his friends—so he has the opportunity to show them who he is without having to worry about what they think of you.
- He needs to spend some time with them without having to worry about making sure that he includes you in whatever they're talking about.
It's almost always this way at the beginning of relationships when guys are still trying to figure out how to balance their newfound relationships with their existing ones.
#7 He wants less drama while he's with his friends
Your man is pretty great, and you've been with him for a long time. But lately, he's been getting a little distant when you're around his friends.
It might seem like he's just being a jerk who doesn't respect you—but he's not just doing it to annoy you.
It could be something as simple as avoiding conflict with you while he's with his friends. After all, when he's with his friends, he wants to relax and enjoy their company; starting an argument is probably the last thing on his mind.
Matters of the heart are messy and hard enough without having them play out in front of strangers—and your boyfriend does not want his pals thinking that your relationship is anything less than perfect.
We all know that guys will do whatever it takes to avoid drama and confrontation!
Give him some space to spend time with his friends, and feel free to ask him what he wants from you at the moment. If it's time apart, respect that.
#8 He feels embarrassed by your behavior or appearance when you're together with his friends
Do you know that feeling of wanting to impress someone new in your life?
That's what your boyfriend's feeling with his friends. You might be the best girlfriend ever, and they might be super nice to you, but it's normal for your boyfriend to want to impress them.
If your boyfriend seems to ignore you when he's with his friends, it may be because he feels embarrassed by your behavior or appearance when you're together with his friends.
Maybe he thinks you're too into him and doesn't want to show it off in front of his buds, or maybe he's worried that you won't fit in with them.
It can also be true if his friends are more conservative and you're a free-spirited person. Maybe he feels like you'll say something that will make his friends uncomfortable.
- If this is the case, have a conversation with him about it. Ask him if he's embarrassed by anything about you, and tell him that it sometimes makes you feel upset when he doesn't pay attention to you when you're around his friends.
- What you can do about this is think about how you act and dress around his friends, and ask yourself whether or not it might be embarrassing for him.
- If so, try to tone it down a bit and make sure that any time you spend with his friends is on neutral ground—that way, you won't feel self-conscious or out of place, either!
#9 You tend to interrupt conversations when he's talking to his friends
You love your boyfriend, but you've noticed that he's been acting a bit weird lately.
Every time he hangs out with his friends, he completely ignores you. If you try to talk to him, he'll answer you with one-word responses, or even worse, give you the silent treatment.
What's going on?
Ouch. It hurts to see your boyfriend ignore you when he's around his friends, doesn't it?
The thing is, this isn't personal. He isn't shunning you when he talks to his friends. When they're all together, they're in a different mode—a mode that's more focused on talking with each other and catching up on the latest in their lives.
You tend to interrupt conversations when he's talking to his friends. And guess what? He doesn't like it—and neither do his friends.
You can do something to avoid being ignored when he is with his friends.
- If you can stay out of the way when your boyfriend is talking to his friends, then he'll be more likely to talk to you when he's not with them!
- If you want him to be more present with you, try giving him the same courtesy when he's spending time with his friends.
- So instead of trying to chime in on what he's saying, try just listening. If you're interested in what he's saying, show it! Laugh at his jokes, give him a high-five, or just nod along—that gives him the right kind of feedback without cutting into the conversation.
The next time you hang out with his friends, try this out and see how it changes things!
It can come as no surprise to anyone at all that there's going to be some disagreement in a relationship. And whether it's a huge blow-out or something small, you're always going to have the urge to try and figure out why your boyfriend is ignoring you.
Unfortunately, like any theoretical issue, it's never easy to say 100% what will cause this. However, there are plenty of things that will give you some hints and clues on how to fix the situation. And I have shared 9 out of plenty reasons why your boyfriend is ignoring you when he is with his friend.