My Boyfriend is Acting Weird and Distant (Solved)There is something fishy cooking at the back of the mind of your boyfriend which is influencing his behavior before you. Either he is no more in love with you, or he doubts your love for him. Either way, it is better to confirm by confrontation and take the right steps accordingly.
A sudden change in your boyfriend's behavior can make you restless. You won't be able to focus on the day's work, and your nights will be sleepless. Hence, it is always better to understand the root cause of what might have led to such a change in the first place.
In this article, I shall help you figure out why your boyfriend might be acting weird and distant. I'll also show ways in which you can handle the off-handed behavior of your boyfriend tactfully.
Reasons why your boyfriend is acting weird and distance
The highest chances are that your boyfriend has gathered some information about you that makes him uncomfortable. It is unnecessary to cloud his mind.
You must sit and express your concerns before him. Read below to get an intrinsic detail as to why this could be happening.
#1 He is cheating on you
If your boyfriend has cheated on you, his guilty conscience makes it difficult for him to act normal. It has made him weird and distant.
A guilty conscience is not easy to handle. It becomes all the more difficult if he knows you have always been loyal to him.
You can try and stalk him. Checking his cell phone and keeping an eye on his social media accounts can give you some clues. However, it is always better to talk things out than to make random deductions.
#2 He knows you're cheating on him
When you cheat on your partner, certain things about you change. You either begin to try too hard to keep them pleased lest they catch you, or you stop caring.
If such behavioral changes have taken place within you, that is, if you are coming across as weird and giving the feeling of lack of transparency, it would put off your partner and make him distant too.
We forget to look within as we are so busy scrutinizing others. This could be your case too. First, try to figure out if your partner feels the same way for you as you do for him. Being on the same page should be the thumb rule.
#3 You're lying to him
If there is something that you've been hiding from him or telling him lies about, he might have as well discovered it. To know whether he knows about your secret, you will have to fabricate a story before him. Anything that probes him into admitting that he is aware of the lies weaved by you.
Remember, dishonesty can easily break up the best of relationships. You should take your time if needed but never pace the path for lies and betrayal. There is nothing in the world more difficult than to regain lost trust.
#4 He is hiding something
Perhaps he is keeping something from you, which is for your good, or so he thinks. Check his medical records, phone, and documents to get clues about it. The hiding might not be something that he is guilty of.
Try not to jump to conclusions at once. Give him time for explanations. Be patient. Try to work on your listening skills. Remember, when you master patience and calmness, things fall into place.
#5 He is undergoing a crisis
Perhaps there is a crisis in his life that has made everything topsy-turvy in his life. All his notions and beliefs are challenged. He is grasping at straws.
This could be a difficult phase. He needs the ones he loves to have faith in him. He wants them to stick by his side. The truth can never be hidden for long. It is such moments that test your love and confidence.
#6 He never loved you
This could be a hyperbole, but many times in life, we are not able to understand our emotions clearly. Perhaps he never loved you. It was an infatuation.
All that he shared with you was a desperate need to have a companion. It is now that he realizes that perhaps you both are very different from one another.
While such doubts and cloudiness can be occasional and untimely, they can be dispersed and dispelled by a show of maturity, mutual understanding, and respect. If you have loved him with all your heart, show him that no one can love him better.
#7 You're not serious about him
Sometimes we realize that we have kept certain people in our lives merely for the sake of it. They don't mean anything very strongly to us. We let them exist because it is harmless and pain-free.
During these times, we are being myopic. We don't think of long-term goals and commitments. There comes a day, however, when life events put such people at trial.
If such an event occurred with your partner where you failed to prove your worth or take his side, he would understand or suspect that you never regarded him seriously. You were there merely because he let you be.
This realization could be heartbreaking, more so if the person had invested himself completely. It is always better to take some time out and introspect your affairs to see if you're on the best path.
#8 He is tired of chasing you
Perhaps with you, it has always been a rat race. It is always about how much he can impress, make you laugh, or please you. He is aware that there are many guys in your life. He feels that all of them want something more than friendship with you. He fears losing you, due to which he keeps giving his best until there comes a time when he is out of patience and resources. When such a time arrives, he will step back and never see you again.
#9 He is busy
It might be that your boyfriend is not a diplomatic person. He doesn't know how to operate under stress. He is busy and unable to give you the time and attention you need.
His busy schedule makes you feel ignorant and, in turn, restless. Perhaps if you keep yourself busy, too, such awkwardness could be easily overcome.
Indulge in your hobbies and cultivate your mind. If you don't feel so left out and things come around naturally, there's nothing to worry about.
#10 You're overthinking
It is not your boyfriend but your hyped-up mind making you overanalyze things. Maybe you need to take long, deep breaths to calm yourself down.
Remember, sometimes we notice things after a prolonged time because, before that, we were in a different state of mind. Hence, it is possible that your boyfriend always behaved that way, but your love for him prevented you from seeing it.
What to do when your boyfriend acts weird and distant?
Give your boyfriend space and time when he acts weird and distant. Let it naturally occur to him what you mean to him in his life. You can never force yourself onto someone. So if, in case, your boyfriend has changed his heart and feels out of love for you, allowing some distance might make him miss you and fix things back. If he doesn't feel the need to have you, you are better off without him anyway.
However, if you are deeply and madly in love with your guy and you might be prone to depression if kept away from him, keep reading below to find other alternatives to handle the situation tactfully.
#1 Be reasonable
Always keep a practical approach onwards life. Be objective in your take on things. Getting too emotional can make us make foolish decisions. While you must listen to your heart, heeding your mind simultaneously is a fair deal. It will prevent you from driving yourself toward the point of insanity.
One way of practicing rationality is not to make a call or decision instantly. Stop a while, take deep breaths, think everything again, and if the mind affirms it the second time, trust your guts and make the call.
#2 Talk to him
Learn to express your thoughts before your partner. Talking and confrontation can provide you with some clarity into the situation. There aren't many ways in which your boyfriend would make a response when you ask him why he has been so distant lately.
He would either make an excuse for it, or he would deny it and call you an overthinker, or perhaps he might tell you the truth. If he tells the truth, it might come as a stroke and be bitter, but it will help you to move on. If he comes up with an excuse, there isn't much that you would get out of an argument.
Remember, don't waste your words where it isn't needed. If and when you feel you have stopped holding importance in a person's life, take it as a clue to step back. Don't give them so much time that they begin to take you for granted. The realization that you have been taken for granted is worst than getting rejected.
#3 Recreate memories
Suppose you feel that you are undergoing a phase with your partner where you have been so much in love and involvement with each other that now you feel blank towards the person. In a case like this, recreating memories can take you a long way.
It doesn't imply that you are out of love for one another. It means that you have invested yourself so much with a person that you are out of the way of expressing it. Hence revisiting the memories from the very beginning and perhaps making a video or creating a similar scene would bring back the love that has, in a way, become latent.
Your boyfriend might be undergoing such a phase of overwhelming feelings draining his energy and making it exhaustive. Try to meet him mid-way wholeheartedly, and see if there is scope to mend the relationship.
#4 Be honest
Be honest with yourself and with your feelings. If you have been keeping up the pretentious while deep inside, you have lost that touch to either please or be patient, approve it. It will lead your boyfriend towards acceptance too.
If you want to set certain standards, go ahead with it. If the guy is in love with you, he will try to be reasonable in his approach and will give you opportunities to understand why such a need is arising.
Honest words are often sharp and bitter. Try not to make it edgy. Take on a friendly tone full of warmth when you try to approach him. He should understand the whys and hows of it sensibly.
#5 Give him a surprise
A surprise could be heart-winning. If your boyfriend feels that he is the one who always puts effort and takes the extra mile to please you, while you neither try to please him nor appreciate his efforts in any way, it could be a great turn-off for anyone.
One-sided efforts are upsetting for anyone. There should be a balance in the approach. Show that you care, and express that you're grateful to have them in your life. Make this a life aphorism, and things will fit right.
#6 Cook him his favorite dish
A well-cooked dish, when presented nicely before a lover, could be meaningful if it is rare. If you don't cook very often for your boyfriend, he would understand that you are trying to make a point when you do it.
He will appreciate the indirectness of effort. This would remind him that he is with someone who knows how to handle his mood swings. It could make your evening sweet and meaningful. However, a word of advice I'd like to give here.
Don't be too optimistic about the results. There is a possibility that your boyfriend might fail to appreciate your work. Instead of getting upset at that moment, hold his hands and ask him what the trouble is. Point out that you had cooked the dinner, and his absence of mind is a point of concern for you.
#7 Make love
Making love can help in taking away awkwardness. Sharing intimacy with your boyfriend will enable that moment of closeness when you would be able to look into his eyes and ask him about his feelings. There is no escaping from that moment. It will buy you confidence and help in building trust.
#8 Dress up for him
Dressing up nicely for your boyfriend, either in the outfit he bought for you or the one he likes the best, might be a mood lifter for both of you. Sometimes knowing the cause isn't as important as mending the behavior is. You can always ask him the cause that made him indifferent later. The first thing is to reignite the diminishing spark. Know the priorities and take your actions accordingly.
#9 Sing him a song
Dedicating a song is always special. It is no understatement that music is the food of love and can help change one's temperament. You can either make him a playlist or hum him a tune.
If you have a way with words, try writing him a poem. He will be moved, and once he smiles at you, the melting process begins.
#10 Give him a break
Sometimes a break can help in aiding things. Give your boyfriend a break. In the meantime, you can indulge in self-pampering. Stay away from each other for a week to cool things down.
Make conversations after a week. Ask him how he is doing. See if he is interested in how you spent a week without him. It will bring both of you a lot of clarity.
Acting weird and distant, if temporary, could be tolerated. But if such a behavior is ongoing for a long time, it is off-putting and disappointing. Rather than breaking into unnecessary fights, it is better to sort things out by talking to each other. Helping one another through invigorations or discussions can lead you to the ultimate problem.
Once the problem is discovered, take appropriate steps to fix it. Sometimes, such steps are not easy to take and might cost you your sleep. But permanent solutions are preferable to slow and continuous damage that ultimately creates havoc in either of your life.