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I Want to Spend More Time With My Boyfriend Than He Does (REASONS)

It is okay to desire more than feel desired at the same time. It does not imply that your boyfriend doesn’t love you. It implies that you love him with all your heart. To reverse the equation, try to groom yourself as per his likes and dislikes, and you will be surprised to see the results.Featured Image of I Want to Spend More Time With My Boyfriend Than He Does

Only in the love of novels can we find the intensity and reciprocation shared at the same level. In reality, either one of the partners feels more in love than the other. The timing is always different. You will get obsessed and want your partner to share your energy. However, when the sharing is not the same, you feel low and disheartened.

In this article, I will help you figure out why your boyfriend doesn’t want to spend as much time with you as you do and what you can do to turn the tables.

Reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t want to spend more time with you as much as you do

It is possible that your boyfriend did not consider dating someone seriously until you showed up. After that, it has been quite a journey, and it has been worthwhile. However, there are times when you feel you are investing more than your boyfriend in terms of emotions and attachments. You fear that it might go unrewarded in the end.

It can be so because your boyfriend dislikes compromising his “me-time.” While he cannot help not dating you, he doesn’t want to change his routine in many ways. He wants to make space for you, but not at the cost of his job and other things that require his attention. To find out more and get an elaborate description, keep reading below.

#1 He has taken you for granted

With time, a persistent complaint that occurs in relationships is that either one of the partners gets too possessive and obsessed with their date, which disables them from giving adequate space to make the relationship flourish and expand. If you feel a similar situation arises, kindly slow down your pace.

Relationships take time to flourish, and the balance between your personal space and the other domains is the key. Your boyfriend believes in maintaining the key. He wants to stay calm because he genuinely likes you. It is commonly observed that once you become obsessed with someone, you quickly lose it. Everything happens at rocket speed. Hence, if your boyfriend is keeping the pace in check, it is for the wellness of both of you.

#2 He is cheating on you

While you can never be certain whether or not your partner is cheating on you, wanting to see you less often can be a reason for avoiding you. You can get more clarity by checking his enthusiasm when he is on the phone with you. Is he taking an interest in your day? Is he expressing his desire to meet you? Is he mostly elusive in his replies? Does he get annoyed easily? Do you feel happy or sad after talking to or meeting him?

When you get mixed signals from your guy, don’t hesitate to ask him directly if everything is going fine between you because he seems to be off most days. If nothing bothers him, he will give you his words of reassurance. However, if he has been watching for an opportunity to convey his feelings, he will tell you about it.

#3 You come across as too desperate

Perhaps your boyfriend has misinterpreted your love for him as mere infatuation and thinks you are using him as a plaything to satisfy your lust. Love, lust, infatuation, and childlike obsession are very hard to distinguish. One often comes hand in hand with another, and it is possible to feel the same way about the same person.

However, if your affection and care are not well received at the other end, you should give him a break. Don’t overdo or overindulge yourself so much that your offer seems worthless. Always try to match the energy and figure out what might be the big turn-off for either of you.

#4 He has other preoccupations

Perhaps you are dating a guy who is shouldering many burdens in his life. There might be family issues. He might be the one looking after his family. It might be related to studies. He gets distracted and has difficulty studying when he is with you. It could be his work. He is starting his career, and the job role is testing. He is taking his time to find a balance between the two.

Communication is the key here. Ask him what is keeping him busy because you feel neglected. Assure him that you will understand. Hold his hands and encourage him to share the not-so-happy parts of his life with you. If you want this to last, be honest with each other.

#5 Your interests are different

If you don't share a common interest, for example, if you're a bookworm and he's a movie buff, if you like hiking, but he loves beaches, or if you're a shopaholic but he's a party animal, you might be worried about how you'll spend your time when you see each other.

Since you are mostly keen on doing what you have in mind, and he fears that he might break your heart if he doesn’t affirm your choices, he thinks it's best to avoid you as much as possible. While this might be very upsetting, it is very much possible. Hence, you should adopt an alternative mode when you go out. If you pick up the place today, let him pick it up tomorrow. Be even. It will avoid unnecessary confusion and keep you both happy.

#6 He needs a break

Perhaps the relationship has become overwhelming, and your boyfriend needs a break. This happens when you have been dating for a very long time, and you might be talking about leveling up. It doesn’t imply that your boyfriend doesn’t have these at the back of his mind, but perhaps he just needs some time to think this through, recall the journey, and talk about it with his family and friends.

If, on the other hand, your relationship is young and your boyfriend is distant, it could be that he wants to keep it casual or that he did not commit to you mindfully. He hasn’t realized that after commitment, you hold certain expectations from your partner, which, when not fulfilled, can be very upsetting.

#7 He doesn’t like to ignore his friends

Your boyfriend is not one of those guys who ignores his friends because he sees a pretty woman. He takes his friendships seriously, and if it so happens that his friends need him, he will not hesitate to lend his time, shoulders, and efforts to them.

This is an admirable quality because when a guy treats his friends affectionately, he will treat his girlfriend, too, when the time calls for it. Getting to know his friends circle can help you here. You will get an idea of what is going on in their lives. You will also get to observe your boyfriend and his behavior in the presence of his friends. How much he roots for you before them could bring assurance about his genuine feelings.

#8 You have gained weight

Your boyfriend might be ignoring you because he is too lean, and you have recently put on weight, making an awkward pair out of the two of you. He might feel embarrassed and uncomfortable making a social appearance.

If you feel this might be a possibility, you must not continue to date such a guy. Your guy should love and admire you. He must motivate you to the gym and work on your lean muscles when you put on weight.

When either of the partners plays the blaming game, the relationship becomes claustrophobic, and rather than having each other’s back, and you start breaking into fights. Hence, the moment you get toxic vibes in a relationship, slow down and try to assess things carefully.

#9 You don’t let him get cozy with you  

When you throw tantrums and keep your guy from coming closer to you, he might get pissed off. It is primarily because the reason for commitment is to get intimate and enjoy each other’s company.

You are supposed to keep other guys at bay and keep the privilege of getting warm with you reserved for your boyfriend. But when you treat him the way you treat other guys, he will get offended and start avoiding you.

If you feel guilty here, it is not too late to make amends. Meet him, take him in your arms, and perhaps get handsy. If he likes it, you have your reason. Make him a part of your comfort zone.

#10 You remind him of his ex

Did you ask your boyfriend about his ex? Was he in a long-term relationship when he started dating you? Is he obsessed with his ex and continually brings her up in conversation? Did you ever get a chance to stumble upon his ex’s photos?

If yes, your countenance, behavior, or conduct might cause him flashbacks that trigger memories. He is taking his time to get over her. Perhaps he started dating you thinking that it would prove helpful in the process of getting over her. However, he might have doubts about it now and feel guilty for the same.

If you like him and feel you can be helpful in bringing him out of his misery, be patient with him. When he sees that, unlike most of the girls, you are not getting restless and dealing nicely with him, he might change his heart.

#11 He doesn’t want to come across as clingy

You have just started dating, and he doesn’t want to scare you away by giving you the impression that he is too clingy. He is perhaps unaware that you have been trying too hard to spend as much time with him as possible. He has been too cautious about not unnerving you with his words or actions.

If this seems to be the case, you guys haven’t taken the time to understand each other’s needs and wants. You are living in bubbles and assuming things about each other. In a relationship, it is always better to have effective communication.

#12 He gets bored with you

If you don’t know how to have quality conversations, if you don’t have any insight into world affairs to offer, if you are neither a reader nor have a taste for music, your boyfriend might as well feel like he is dating a post.

Merely being good in bed or getting mushy with your guy isn’t sufficient. You need to make it worthwhile by bringing something more to the table. Guys consider beauty with brains to be the real deal. Offer him both. It might be that you had been shying away for so long. Intimacy begins with healthy conversations. Remember the movie “Crazy, Stupid Love?” Ryan found his true love in a lady who could offer true companionship. Be his companion.

#13 He is trying to save money

Perhaps taking you out on dates or surprising you with gifts is too expensive for him. He is in dire need of saving money. He avoids meeting you because he knows you like to go to fancy places. If you aren't already, start contributing equally when you go out. 

Furthermore, offer him a walk rather than going indoors to expensive fine dining establishments. Have all kinds of experiences together when you intend to date the person for a long time. Try to understand how much he makes and what his expenses are. Be more thoughtful in your approach toward him.

How to make your boyfriend spend more time with you?

It is not as difficult as it may seem. Making your boyfriend want you can be easy when you know his weaknesses. Try to estimate what it is that so strongly arouses him. To humor him, try things his way. Once he is encouraged, he will not leave your side.

Continue reading to find out more.

#1 Communicate

There is a strong possibility that your boyfriend is not aware that you feel this way for him. Guys usually don’t think or over-analyze things, especially when they are happy in their relationship. They might be having a wonderful time because they have a cheerful disposition.

Hence, communication becomes essential here. If you want to meet your guy more often, tell him so. It is the cutest thing to do. Put it in sweet words such as,

“Mark, I love you so much that our occasional meet-ups make me sick. Can we meet more often instead? Do you get as restless as I do? Please find me a cure for this love fever. "Spend more time together; heal me.”

#2 Get to know his friends  

If your boyfriend isn’t spending as much time with you as he should because he is out with his friends, perhaps having a nice time riding bikes and playing at casinos, you can do two things here.

First, spend time with your girls. Go for a girl's night out, chill with them, and have a gala time just like your guy is having one. This will prove to be healthy. It will prevent you from getting overly obsessive about your boyfriend. It will allow space for both of you, and neither will feel that their life is limited to their boyfriend or girlfriend.

However, if you miss your boyfriend and bore your friends by constantly referring to your boyfriend, we have a better option for you. Get to know your boyfriend’s friends. Meet the people he chills with. It will also have three other benefits.

First, it will make your relationship official. Second, you will be reassured that your boyfriend is with the right people, and that will put your conscience to rest. Third, your boyfriend’s friends might enjoy your company and encourage your boyfriend to bring you along with him on outings.

#3 Give preference to his likes and dislikes

Your relationship should acknowledge both your and your boyfriend’s preferences. If things are always happening to your liking, and your boyfriend’s wishes are ignored or neglected, he might find you selfish.

Never allow your partner to feel selfish in love. Selfishness is a significant factor. The ones we love must feel that we love them selflessly.

Hence, from now on, put it into practice and ask your boyfriend how he would like to spend time with you. He might want to go to pubs rather than cafes or on drives rather than walks. Listen to him, and either find a combination that lets you fulfill your wishes or opt for alternative day planning.

#4 Plan a date

Your boyfriend should be one of many planning a surprise outing for you. It’s high time that you do it too. Rather than waiting for him to propose your next outing, you take the lead and send him the invitation.

Make it thematic. Rather than opting for something by the sea, under the night sky, pick a venue with gaming facilities: a play station, his favorite meals, a bottle of champagne, and rock music.

Break the stereotypes, and make your boyfriend feel pampered. When he laughs and gets excited, you will feel nice. Your dates don’t always have to be romantic. Sometimes, it can be more about fun than flirting.

#5 Work on yourself

Rather than mulling over your boyfriend, work on yourself. Improve your skills. Hit the gym. Be more disciplined to maintain a proper balance between work and life.

Your boyfriend will appreciate you and get motivated by you. You are in your youth. You should work on strategies to thrive.

Discuss the stock market, new ways to invest funds, start-up ideas, and your experiences with new things you are learning with your boyfriend. Make him feel like he is dating an all-rounder. He will feel proud of you and blessed to have you in his life. There is no feeling more wholesome and fulfilling than this.

#6 Enroll for a class together

Enrolling you in a class together is the simplest way to get your boyfriend to spend more time with you without making him feel obligated. This could be a baking class, a dance class, some sport activity, or yoga and meditation sessions.

It will help to detoxify your mind. It will bring positive vibes. You will feel happy and energetic. You will be able to appreciate your surroundings and your company. You will learn to be more grateful in life. It will allow you to share the same vibe.

#7 Meet for coffee in the evening

You can meet up briefly with your boyfriend after work for tea or coffee. This will allow you to catch up with what went on during the day. It will be refreshing. You will feel good that the toil of the day has been well rewarded. Your boyfriend won’t mind because the meeting will be brief and meaningful.

Try to keep the conversations hearty. Make this meeting more about vibes. Enjoy every sip of the beverage together and smile. You can walk each other home. On days when the chord strikes right, you might invite him in.

#8 Make love

Your boyfriend might be growing distant because of a lack of physical love. If your relationship has been more platonic or has been limited to s#xting, your boyfriend might face a difficult time waiting for you until you are ready.

This is a common problem in relationships. Girls take their time getting cozy, and guys get restless in the process. Hence, if you can trust him and want to level up, perhaps making it official soon, you can invite him to make love with you.

Show him that you are his and would like him to claim you. Take your flirtation to the next level. Tease him, and make the conversation dirty. While making love, make it passionate. Go for more foreplay to please and get pleased. He will be hooked up to you for a long time.

#9 Plan a staycation

A staycation would mean unlimited time with your boyfriend. It will allow you to come closer, spend quality time together, and talk your hearts out. Make arrangements and surprise your boyfriend with your plans over the mail.

Don’t select weekdays, as your boyfriend might have work commitments. Instead, plan a full-fledged weekend. Both of you will be much closer by the end of it than you have ever been before.

#10 Take an interest in sports

If your boyfriend is a sports fan with a favorite player, it's time to learn the rules and offer to accompany him to the stadium to watch the game or to watch it on television with great interest.

Your boyfriend will be beaming with enthusiasm. A tub of beer and a family-size pizza will complete the combo. Guys admire women who take an interest in sports and are familiar with the language of the sport. Be that woman for him, and he will proudly make you meet his friends. He might even steal a kiss when his favorite team wins the match.

#11 Go shopping together (pose as couples)

Shopping together for one another could be fun and wholesome. You would get a better idea of your boyfriend’s taste. You would understand how your boyfriend would like you to dress up with him. The trial room sessions will bring you closer. It will be a day well spent.

To add to the fun, you can buy clothes that pair with your boyfriend’s. It will allow you to pose as a couple. You can click pictures together to make funny faces and share them on social media with cheesy captions and hashtags.

#12 Share pictures

Sharing pictures makes room for foreplay. You can easily warm up one another with conversations packed with innuendos referring to your body. You can tease and flirt. You can tell your boyfriend how you would be liked to please and all you would do to make him feel on cloud nine.

Your boyfriend would spend more time admiring your pictures than scrolling on partial nudes over social media. It will ignite a fire and create a warmth of desire in your boyfriend’s heart that will further kindle an emergency to meet up with you soon.

Summing up

When your boyfriend doesn’t match your energy in desiring to meet you and spend most of the time with you, be patient. Allow him time and try to understand what you can do to ignite a fire of desire. Take slow but meaningful steps to charm him. Be selfless in your actions.

Suprity Acharyya


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