Married Man Contacting Ex-girlfriend (Answered with Solution)

Marriage changes things. While you might want to maintain relationships with certain people in your life, there arrive such priorities that you often fail to take out time for others.

As a married man, if, out of the blue, you wish to make contact with your ex-girlfriend, certain fingers might raise towards you, and people might question your intent. As we live and wish to thrive in a society that is generally tolerant without exchanges and activities, there are a range of things that we must bear in mind. 

In the current scenario, I'll show the reasons that might have to prove a married man to contact his ex-girlfriend and what should be done about it from a holistic perspective.

Reasons why a married man contacts an ex-girlfriend 

A married guy can contact his ex because he wants to return her possession that he had kept with him for a long time. Now that he is married, he does not want to keep any link between him and his ex-girlfriend. However, there can be more such and different reasons for this. Keep reading to find out more.

#1 Having complications in marriage 

Perhaps the married guy wants to prove a point. If they break up due to a social issue, and he is facing the same problem with his wife despite the change in person and behavior, he wants to convey it to his ex. 

At such moments, we want someone who would be able to understand us to hear us out. It indicates a point of vulnerability that often shakes the person inside out.

#2 Seeks advice 

Though they broke up, it is quite possible that they maintained a bond of friendship. It is also possible that he might be having an inconvenience in his marriage which can be sorted with the help of his ex. 

His ex always gave sound advice and knew how to reach out to him. He wants her advice to lead him in the right direction.

#3 Wants to clear past differences 

Perhaps his ex and he had past differences, which he would now like to clear out for good. Either of them might be holding grudges against one another, and the husband wants to settle all the differences.

There might be something about the past or a rumor circulating again which might have led the husband to take this decision.

#4 His wife is digging into his past 

The married guy is probably having some issues with his wife, which has led her to dig into his past. The married guy wants to ensure his ex-girlfriend does not reveal his secrets to his wife. 

There might be things that the married guy might have been keeping from his wife, which, if revealed by someone else, can heat things more. He is unwilling to take any risk and seeks peace.

#5 She is his wife's colleague 

If the guy has been recently married and discovered that his ex is his wife's colleague, he might panic. If the breakup with his ex wasn't mutual, it could lead to unwanted problems. 

He wants to contact his ex for the benefit of the doubt and wrap things between them on a friendly note. 

#6 He wants to catch up 

It can be a cordial invitation to catch up with no perverse intent. The married guy likes to keep his contacts well. He does not like to go hither and thither with people. 

It is with good intent that he decided to meet his ex, and there might be a possibility that he did not keep this from his wife.

#7 He knows her current boyfriend 

Perhaps the married guy knows his ex's current boyfriend. There might be things about her current boyfriend that he wants to reveal to her. He might feel that this guy is betraying her.

There is also a possibility that he wants to use their past to blackmail the girl into doing things that she otherwise wouldn't want to do. It depends on his purpose and character. If he is noble, then it is the former. If he is a pervert, then it is the latter.

#8 She is getting married 

Perhaps the guy's ex-girlfriend is getting married, and he wants to give his best wishes to her. It is possible that circumstances led them to break up, but that doesn't mean they can't be well-wishers. 

A married guy congratulating his ex over text might be ridiculous. He instead plans to meet in person and convey his best regards to her.

#9 He needs a favor 

There might be something that the married guy's ex-girlfriend might be in a position to do for him professionally. It depends on her profession. If she is a teacher, he might ask her to look after his child. 

If she is into consultancy, he might seek her service for his company. The meeting could be professional, and they might not even talk about their personal life.

#10 He wants to start again 

Perhaps the married guy wants to start his friendship with his ex-girlfriend again. He watches his wife maintaining a lot of guy friends. This makes him jealous. 

It is possible that out of envy, he is unconsciously planning to damage his married relationship emotionally. Such tough situations arrive in a settled, married life when we forget to filter our priorities and indulge in some forms of foolery. 

#11 He is in an open relationship 

An open relationship is gaining popularity as married couples acknowledge that they are no more in love with each other. The deal is to keep the respect and look after the family, but they permit one another to go on dates and hookups with other people.

Married couples feel that an open relationship can be a boon to the longevity of married life. It helps in the right dose of serotonin secretion and keeps them happy and calm. It is possible that this married guy is in an open relationship and wants to mingle with his ex-girlfriend if she has feelings for him.

#12 He wants a platonic relationship with his ex 

Perhaps the married guy likes to seek his ex's companionship frequently because he likes to have a relationship with her. This helps him to boost his ego as he feels that he hasn't lost the charm of the young bachelor that he once was. 

He feels that he can easily secure the love and attention of women. He takes great pride in doing so. Men are easily excited by the thought that a woman might desire them.

#13 She never married 

Perhaps the ex is not married yet, and the married guy is curious to discover the reason. He might think that his ex is not over him. He wants to hear it from her mouth. 

Such people are vain, and they would go to any extreme to boast about themselves. This might be one such instance. He might offer her an affair if she was lonely. 

#14 He is a womanizer 

Perhaps the married man is a womanizer, and this isn't the first time he has contacted one of his exes. He likes to keep himself surrounded by women. The tendency to do so increases with age. 

He might be of some advantage to them. There must be something that he must be offering or doing for them in return that makes them want his company.

#15 She called him to arrange a meeting 

Perhaps it wasn't the married guy but the ex who took the first step by calling or texting him to arrange a meeting. She might have her reasons for doing so. It could be that she hasn't yet been able to get over him, or perhaps she is changing cities and wanted to bid him farewell. 

Either way, one should not judge based on a plan that hasn't been executed. Matters of heart and matters of the past must be dealt with excess care. Things fall in place eventually.

What to do when a married contact an ex-girlfriend?

If a married guy contacts his ex-girlfriend, make the girl aware of his marital status so that she doesn't get carried away or provide him leverage.

#1 Give a word of caution to the girl 

If the ex isn't aware that the guy is married, or if the married guy tries to court her, hiding that he has recently married, someone must take the responsibility to inform the girl about it. Such people must not be easily trusted.

#2 Warn the man 

The married man must be warned about not crossing his limits or overstepping the boundaries. It could hamper his married life. If his wife discovers his attempts to propose or lure his ex into extramarital affairs, it could have alarming consequences.

#3 Understand the girl's pov 

There might be more to the matter than one can think of from a superficial level. Would the ex agree to meet the guy who is now married to someone else? If yes, then why? 

There is a possibility that she might be depressed and lonely. Such people often get weary of life and forget the meaning of joy. They might even harbor suicidal thoughts. If the meeting means saving a life, it is worth a try.

#4 Find out the guy's reason 

Confronting the guy and giving him a chance to explain himself isn't bad. The body language shall tell you if he is lying.

Could you keep a close watch on his eyes? If his pupils remain locked, yours, if his voice changes, and he gets emotional while talking, the bet is higher that he is telling the truth.

#5 Be reasonable 

Don't be too spontaneous. An angry person can never reason calmly. Bursting the man with torrents of rage will worsen the situation. You need to listen and observe. 

Look for changes in behavior. See if the guy is doing anything absurd or out of the blue. Keep a close eye on his finances. When and where he spends his money will lead you to where his interests lie.

#6 Give the man an opportunity tao explain 

There's no harm in making the guy talk. See if he has an explanation. He might play the blame game. He might portray himself as the victim or call it a mistake.

Listening to him doesn't mean you need to buy his story. Don't get emotional here. Pay heed to the girl's side of the story as well. See if their stories match. If it does, it would mean that they are not lying.

#7 The man needs counseling 

Perhaps the guy is not in the right state of mind. There might be a recent loss, or he might be undergoing a crisis. There are days when you want to dive back into the past because those were good times. 

If he is undergoing a middle-age crisis, he makes desperate attempts not to let go of himself. He wants to cling to something that reminds him of his youth. He wants to make life meaningful again by springing away from his responsibilities.

#8 Inform his wife 

Perhaps informing his wife about the guy's plan would be wise. His wife can keep watchful eyes on him. She can track his whereabouts. This would limit his wanderings. He won't get the opportunity to get wayward with a woman. 

Moreover, his wife would be in a position to understand his needs better. If he has been s*x deprived, his wife would see to it. If he is sleep-deprived, his wife can lull him to sleep.

#9 Confront with proof 

Confronting with proof such as a picture would catch him up red-handed. He won't be able to deny it. He will have to develop a very strong story, or he will have to reveal the truth. 

You could tell a lot from his body language and expression. If possible, bring the girl song with you. Seeing him in front, he would know that anything false would get easily caught.

#10 Consider separation if the discovery is too filthy

If it wasn't a meeting, but one among many, and they share something much more intimate, there's no room for conversations and explanations. The wife must take legal action. It's too late to seek counseling. All the evidence must be collected and kept securely with multiple copies. 

Summing Up 

Contacting an ex after marriage could be alarming, but one must reach its root before making a fuss about it. Neither the husband nor the wife wants to get embarrassed. Often we spend too much energy thinking that we forget to convey our concerns. Learn to communicate and trust your guts.