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Ex Came Back After Months Of No Contact (Why & What to Do)

If your ex has come back to your life after months of no contact, it can signify their prevailing soft corner for you. Maybe, after self-evaluation, he genuinely missed being with you. But at the same time, this sudden comeback could be a red flag too.Featured Image of Ex Came Back After Months Of No Contact

Breakups hurt. And it hurts the most when our exes stop all connections with us. However, all bad things end. So do our breakup phases. We work hard, keep our motivation mode on 24*7, and finally reach the verge of moving on. 

But what if suddenly a message from your ex pops up on the screen? Or you got a call from that person after several months of no contact! After so many months of no contact, your ex wants to come back! 

With that little conversation, you get so many flashbacks and sweet memories! And at the same time, you're confused, or maybe even mindfuc*ed for a moment! You spent so many sleepless nights waiting for just one call, one text, or perhaps just one flash message: "How are you." But it is popping up exactly when you are ready to move on! 

Why on earth does our ex come back after months of no contact? What are the factors that push them to return to the same place that they left once? How exactly should you deal with such an absurdly dramatic situation? Let's know it; let's try to clear all your confusion regarding your ex's comeback. 

Reasons why your ex came back after months of no contact

We all tend to think negatively about such absurdly dramatic incidents. So, if our ex comes back or even wants to come back, we start thinking of their potential evil intentions. But this may not be the case. 

So, right before discovering the possible reasons for your ex's comeback, you must understand how careful you should be about judging the situation. Because depending solely on that, you will have an appropriate response. However, the reason for your ex's comeback can be more than one. So, I request you to read all the potential reasons and try analyzing them in combination with one another

#1 It's their soft corner speaking

Your ex might still have left a typical soft corner for you deep in mind. Maybe, after months of no contact, the person started feeling for you again due to that soft corner. And in such a situation, your ex felt nothing would be better than coming back to you. 

But you may now ask if they care so much about the soft corner, why do they leave in the first place? See, my friend, in romantic relationships, we often think of the other person as no separate entity but as an inseparable part of our life. And ironically, we tend to take our life for granted. Romantic feelings, 'Soft Corners,' become very small deciding factors in those times.

But the real value of light can only be understood in darkness, isn't it? That's why only after leaving you does your ex understand and get bothered about the soft corner deep routed inside. 

If your ex has approached you more decently than required, you feel that he is not trying to hide anything, and he is genuinely bothered about the things that happened to you in these months between, it might be the soft corner speaking. 

#2 It is the guilt poking

People often make comebacks due to their guilt-poking. This guilt poking can be of two types: the first one being the bad things they have done with us before breaking up, and the second one being the worst things they have done after the breakup despite having romantic feelings for you. 

We often indulge in the worst sort of things after our breakups to move on from our past relationships. Remember how often you tried dating new people after your breakup just for the sake of moving on? But people don't understand that our feelings do not work that way. These random things pile up tons of guilt feelings inside and might push them to go back to their ex. 

So, no matter what type of guilt-poking worked behind your ex's comeback, in this situation, they will come and apologize specifically for those things they have done to you, and they will often reiterate what they shouldn't have done. They will keep requesting you to give the relationship a second chance. You might see your ex emotionally broken and disturbed in a few such circumstances. 

#3 They are bored of being alone

Your ex may come back to you after months of no contact also due to their boredom of singlehood. Maybe after breaking up with you, your ex enjoyed singlehood for a few months, but eventually, they understood that being single is emotionally challenging and boring as hell.

Perhaps they have looked for new partners around, but as it had to be, no one considered them worth being along. 

In such a situation, they might have thought it wiser to come back to you by resolving issues temporarily, if not permanently, rather than staying single. These people suddenly appear one day and gradually try to get attached to your life again. They may also apologize for their previous actions and give excuses for them being out of contact. 

But you will definitely find a need for more genuineness and effort in the appeal of such paranoid people.

#4 Your ex has exploitative intentions

Hidden exploitative intentions can be another reason behind your ex's comeback after months of no contact. Here, please don't assume exploitation as some specific sort of. Rather, exploitation can be emotional, sexual, as well as financial. Your ex might just be a sex addict or monetarily & emotionally paranoid. 

Did your ex use to depend heavily on you in some way? Think. If yes, then maybe after the breakup, in those months of no contact, they felt that they couldn't deal with those situations alone and desperately needed your help. 

Paraps, from this very feeling, they now want to make a comeback in your life, or better say, in their old easy life with you. 

Fortunately, you can clearly understand if your ex has any such exploitative intentions. In such cases, within a few days of reunion, they will start showing their true color and demand things from you. As mentioned previously, these things may include sex, financial support, or maybe emotional backing as well. 

#5 Jealousy might be the reason

Your ex may want to get back with you even after months of no contact out of mere jealousy. It's possible that they are jealous seeing us doing well even after they leave.

Maybe, you had a heartbreaking breakup. But after months of that heartbreaking incident, you managed to move on by working hard on your feelings. Now, you are doing well with your career, have become emotionally stronger, and seeing other people as well. Maybe you now have a good connection with a few such people and casually post one or two pictures with them in your Instagram story.

That casual post might have sparked the fire in your ex's mind. They got jealous seeing you with other people. And it may have worked behind getting back in touch with you. 

#6 Everybody kept asking about you

Sometimes, our relationships become so old and mature that, with time, we introduce our partners to almost the whole of our family and friends. Then if something breaks the relationship apart, we often have to face a little embarrassment in front of our family members as well as friends. 

If your case was quite similar to this, your ex might have wanted to come back due to peer pressure.

Here, peer pressure or influence works like this:

  • Maybe your ex's friends kept asking about you. 
  • The friends & family kept saying so many good things about you that your ex genuinely felt guilty for the breakup.
  • Their family said that they were solely responsible for the breakup
  • The peer group kept taunting your ex about leaving you. 

This peer pressure and influence may have motivated your ex to come back after months of no contact. Here, Peer pressure has the immense capability even to change a person completely. 

In such circumstances, your ex may have appeared with a bunch of apologies. They would keep mentioning their friends & family sometimes. And you might sense a changed person.

#7 They're too lazy to find someone for a hookup

Hookup can be the thing due to what your ex could have come back. Maybe, you two had an amazing sex life, and he used to enjoy sleeping with you a lot. But after the breakup, all gone with the relationship. 

With months of being single, your ex may have missed the sex life a lot. But at the same time, he is too lazy to put effort again into finding someone to get laid with. Here, you must understand, irrespective of men and women, everybody can not have random hookups with people they don't even know. And your ex is maybe such a person. 

So, due to this laziness and inability to find someone to get laid with, he got back to you. 

In this case, your ex might have started with an apology and kept saying how he misses you. But eventually, you will understand his real intention.

Here are a few points to note regarding this phenomenon:

  • I mentioned 'He' in this point deliberately, as this tendency is more common in men than women. In fact, tbh, women don't often need to put in an effort just to get laid with someone. 
  • Here, you should not equate this phenomenon with exploitative tendencies. In this case, your ex has chosen you just because he's too lazy to choose anyone else, not because he wants to exploit you deliberately. 
  • This is why you may expect brutal honesty about the intention of your ex.

#8 They got a taste of their own medicine 

Getting a taste of their own medicine could be one of the most effective reasons behind your ex's coming back. In the relationship trajectory, people often don't understand what they do and how the person on the other end suffers due to their actions. 

But once after the breakup, if they get the taste of their own medicine, they would understand what they literally have done. If your ex has suddenly come back after months of no contact, genuinely apologizes for the things they have done, and most importantly, respects your discretion for keeping further connection with them, it might be your case. 

In this scenario, things could have gone wrong for your ex. Maybe something like this:

  • After the breakup, they started seeking someone new. 
  • Liked that person and went into a relationship.
  • But co-incidentally, within months, that person started treating your ex exactly how you used to be treated. 
  • This led them to understand how toxic it became for you.
  • Your ex gets out of the new relationship and wants to make a real comeback.

#9 It is the result of your 'No Contact Trick.'

I reserved this one for discussing at the end just because it is solely the result of the 'No Contact Trick' played by you. 

Well, you better know what I mean. However, for clarification, I want to mention that the 'No Contact trick' works from one side when a person suddenly stops all connections with their ex after the breakup without any prior indication.

In such cases, your ex might have got mindfuc*ed and went desperate to know what exactly is going on with you. With time their desperate mind makes them weaker and pushes them again to get back to you. 

In these cases, you get your ex totally back in your control, and they will be ready to do almost everything for you, at least for the initial days of getting back. But I must tell you that this trick doesn't necessarily have to work for everyone with the same efficacy. 

And most importantly, this trick for getting your ex back to life may not be as sustainable as it seems. 

What should be your approach?

See, if you now understand why your ex came back after months of no contact, you have almost decided what to do in order to deal with this situation. I want to leave the decision completely up to your discretion. After all, it is your life, and you must have the upper hand on it, not some of your ex or a stupid blog! 

But my friend, here I want to guide you with some basic approaches you should follow, no matter what you decide to do with this situation. Have a quick read. 

#1 Don't compromise with the present for your past

If you are doing well at the present moment, even if it is without your ex, you should not compromise that present state of well-being to get back with someone who popped out of somewhere from your past. Remember past is something you left, and the present is the one you have chosen to live with. 

Because maybe now you are thinking that things will get better this way, but if it doesn't, you could feel a lack of self-dignity. 

#2 Don't believe in one shot

If you were not born yesterday, I don't need to tell you this. If you have bitter memories related to the breakup with your ex, take more time and action in order to trust this person. Because only time can speak volumes about the exact intention behind the comeback. Your ex may try to convince you continuously, but I suggest trusting actions and efforts much more than words. 

Remember, it is the same person whom you had serious issues with just a few months back. So, when the same person wants to make a comeback, they must put in more genuine effort in order to prove themselves.

#3 Watch your steps

Through this, I wanted to mean that you should be very careful with each of your steps. Because look, from where once you got hurt badly, you must not let yourself or let someone else drag you again into the same position.

That's why, whenever you feel like you are going back to 'square one,' make a rapid retreat. Though I agree that in romantic relationships keeping an eye on each of your steps is pretty difficult, for the sake of your own good, please watch what you say, what you do, and most importantly, how you feel. 

#4 Use logic over your emotion

All the things I told you until now are summarized in this same approach. But you needed this to be told differently and specifically because, in our mind, emotion often wins when logic and emotion fight each other. 

In your situation, you must strengthen your logic so much that it can always prevail over your emotions. So, ask yourself, analyze your decisions if you are solely taking them out of mere emotion, even without thinking of the consequences. 

#5 Decide based on Circumstances

I don't know whether you will decide to get back with him or not, but you should judge your circumstances even before you judge your ex in this context.

Suppose it has already been months since you were not in touch with your ex. And in between, you start dating someone new, and you like this person as well. In such a scenario, if your ex comes back, what should you do? Confusing, isn't it? This is why I was telling you to act with a logical mind and now based on your specific circumstances. 

#6 Don't let someone exploit you

Whether emotionally, financially, or sexually, When someone exploits you, it is nothing less than disrespecting your individuality and taking your dignity for granted.

For now, it may not seem a very big deal for you, but trust me, it is gonna affect you in the long term. And living with any kind of exploitation means someone else holds the command of your life. So, learn to be vocal. 

#7 Your game is on

When your ex is coming back after months of no contact, it must be your discretion how you handle the situation. You did not ask your ex to come back. In fact, you were doing pretty well, even without the person.

So, if someone wants to get into your life again, it must be on your terms. You must be the one who should have the upper hand. I am not asking you to look for any favor, but at least learn to secure your interest when the ball is in your court. 

#8 Be straight with your words

You have suffered once with this person. I guess you don't want to return to the same situation again. So, be vocal, and clear everything at the very beginning. No matter whether you want to get back with your ex or not, tell them what your current situation is, what is your current position, and what is your take on this sudden comeback after months of no contact.

In Closing

Till now, I have been telling continuously in your favor. But at the very end, let me close with something very important and necessary. The person who is coming back, even if it is after months of no contact, might be a changed human being. Your ex might have suffered a lot and now genuinely wants to get back to you. So, never see this as an opportunity to take revenge, secure some favor, or do something else. 

I understand you have bitter memories, or maybe you are not in a position to get back to the same person who left you once, but at least be clear and, if needed, compassionate with your word. We have written a complete guide on reconnecting with someone you dated briefly; feel free to read this out next.

Remember when I told you about getting the taste of your own medicine? We often don't understand how our actions make other people suffer. But at least we can understand that revenge only brings chaos to mind, not peace.

So my friend, stay safe, stay happy, and never stop loving. Take care. 

Adhideb Ghosh

Senior Writer

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