Reconnecting With Someone You Dated Briefly - Everything U Need to KnowReconnecting with an ex is never a good idea. It will render your effort to get over that person null and void. However, if you have the strongest urge to reconnect, try to act casual in the first few texts. Don't show that you are desperate to talk to them.
You broke up with this person for a reason. Reconnecting with them might lead to sheer wastage of your efforts to get over them. But the heart wants what it wants. You will end up sending that text even if you are 100% sure that it is a bad idea.
However, if you have already decided to take a step toward a bad idea, you will have to do the wrong thing in the right way. Acting casually as you take the first step is the key here. Make sure the significant other doesn't realize that you are desperate to get them back in your life.
But before taking that step, you must stop to think about why you are doing this. The solution to your problem lies within the answer to this question. I will lead the way and help you through this. Read on
What brings this urge to reconnect?
Sometimes, people you have dated briefly create an indelible impact in your life. It's hard to forget them. You never truly move on from that relationship.
It's somewhat like Monica and Richard from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. They broke up for a serious, life-altering reason. But when she met him six months after their breakup, she instantly wanted to reconnect. So did he. And that clearly was a mistake which they understood soon enough and finished everything like two mature adults.
What makes you want to talk to them even though you decided not to think about them ever again when you broke up? Let's find out.
#1 Hidden feelings
You still have feelings for them, but you hide them well. The fact that you are not done with this relationship is as clear as daylight. You probably still love them.
When you break up with someone, you tend to stop talking to that person for a while. Keeping them away from you helps deal with the breakup. But that doesn't mean they will move out of your mind forever. They will stay there, and you will continue to find ways to reconnect as long as you have feelings.
#2 Unfinished conversations
Breakups often lead to unfinished conversations. It happens particularly when it is a sudden one. You guys had no plans for breaking up, but somehow it happened.
You are left with so many thoughts to share. When you met this person, they seemed like the perfect one. Your conversations were on point, and they listened to you with all of their attention.
When such a relationship goes down the drain, it often torments you. When your rage cools down, you end up thinking, "We had so much to talk about. I wish we never broke up."
Perfect relationships are hard to find. When you find one, you tend to latch on to it, and when the breakup happens, you regret it and try to reconnect with them soon.
#3 Wishing to be friends again
This happens especially when you guys were friends before you started dating. This is a classic Ross-Rachel scenario. You fell for this person, dated them, and when things turned bitter, you broke up.
None of that should come in the way of friendship. You will want to reconnect with this person if you treasure your friendship. You don't want to lose a friend over a stupid relationship that was never meant to be.
However, this can happen even if you were not friends before. You met this person, dated them briefly, and broke up due to compatibility issues. However, the bond you shared briefly could have culminated into a great friendship. That's probably why you are so eager to reconnect.
#4 Wishing to reconcile
You want to go back to your ex. You wish to reconcile probably because you have dated other people after breaking up with them, and no one was good enough. You miss their company, and therefore, you wish to reconnect.
People often fail to understand the value of something that they already have. They take it for granted until they lose it forever. The same thing probably happened to you. Even though you shared a great bond with this person whom you dated briefly, you failed to realize the greatness of the relationship.
However, you realized it later, after breaking up with them and dating a queue of other people who were unsuitable for you. You want to go back to them now, but for that, you first need to know whether they want you back in their life or not.
#5 Spotting them on the street unexpectedly
You are walking down the street, and there they are. You have just spotted the person you dated briefly a few months ago. That's when the memories start crawling back to your mind. You remember how you shared a similar vibe and how perfect their smile was. You start remembering the little details.
Soon you will find yourself pining for this person and looking at the selfies you clicked when you were dating them. That's when it might occur to you, "I need to call this person."
#6 Stalking them on social media
Stalking your ex is dangerous territory. You should tread lightly while doing that, as you may end up looking for reasons to reconnect with them.
The breakup wasn't a nasty one. Therefore, you guys still follow each other on social media. While scrolling endlessly, you find a new DP they have uploaded. That's when you decide to click on their profile, and the stalking begins.
That doesn't mean you will stalk them incessantly. Such behavior is not good for your mental health. You broke up with them for a reason. You spent much time getting over them. Don't let that go to waste. Think before you act.
#7 Getting DMs from them
You were not thinking about them until they texted you. Now that you have seen the text, you feel an urge to reconnect. They, too, must have sent that text to reconnect as well.
Reconnecting with an ex is not a great idea. But if you feel that it will be different this time, there is no reason not to talk to them.
That sudden notification with their name made you skip a heartbeat. That's how you feel when you still have feelings for someone.
#8 Nostalgic food, music, and places
Certain places, food, and music remind us of people who are or were a part of our lives. This is what's happening to you. You must have thought about them while walking by that park you visited together. Maybe you have heard a song that played at the restaurant on your first date. Did you crave and order that pizza with extra anchovy you guys used to order all the time?
These little things must have brought them back to your mind, and now you want to reconnect. The nostalgia is too much for you to handle. It makes you sad to think that you have lost such a good partner. You want to reconcile with them, but you don't know whether they are interested in you anymore.
#9 Rewatching a movie or a series that you used to watch together
Movies have a great influence on our lives. We often tend to judge people based on their taste in movies. While dating, you bonded over movies with this person. Your tastes matched like two missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. You felt like your life was finally making some sense.
When you broke up, you lost the person with whom you would share all your crazy fan theories. They were the best movie partner you ever had. The moment you started re-watching a movie you used to watch together all the time, you felt sad about breaking up. Now you want to reconnect to try and get that bond back.
#10 Learning about their breakup
You guys dated for a while and decided to call it quits due to unavoidable issues. But ever since, you have wished to get back with them. However, they thought differently and started dating someone else.
Only recently, they broke up. You have just learned about their breakup, and now you want to utilize your chance to get back with them. That's why you are trying so hard to reconnect. You think you deserve a second chance at this relationship.
However, getting back doesn't entirely depend on your wishes. It depends on them too.
12 ways to reconnect
Reconnecting with a person you have dated briefly is never a good idea unless you are absolutely sure of a positive outcome. You also need to start with casual conversations. Your texts should mostly be questions or statements that will make them reply immediately.
Keep scrolling down to know what else you can do to reconnect with this person.
#1 Casually mention that you saw them across the street today
Drop a text. Casually mention that you saw them walking across the street today. Along with that, also say why you did not approach them. Try saying:
- "I wanted to talk to you, but you were too far away. You wouldn't have heard me even if I had yelled out your name."
- "Hey, I saw you today near the grocery store. Good to see you. Let's meet up sometime."
However, try not to sound creepy while saying the above things. Otherwise, they might think you are a stalker who is up to no good.
#2 Ask for random information
Text or call them to ask for random information. This way, they will have to talk to you. You can go about it in the following ways:
- "Hey. Just wanted to ask something. What was the name of that restaurant we visited on our first date?
- "What was that movie we went to watch on Thanksgiving?"
- "From where did you buy that sweater you gifted me for Christmas?"
- "Hey. Have you seen my green shirt? I think I left it at your apartment before we broke up."
Even if you are well aware of the answers to these questions, ask them as if you have truly forgotten. Also, try to frame the questions around your relationship. That will bring their focus to you and your intention.
#3 Say that you miss them
Just admit that you miss them. Missing someone is not a bad thing. It is usual human behavior. The breakup was the need of the hour, but now you feel like reconciling.
Talk to them about how you feel. They may or may not be interested in you, but that shouldn't stop you from expressing yourself. You need to remove the burden off your chest.
Say that you miss them all the time after you guys broke up abruptly. Mention your true intention by telling them you want to get back together.
#4 Comment on their posts
If you are confident enough, go and comment on their posts. It will be a difficult thing to do if you are an introvert. But this will be a cakewalk for you if you are a bit extroverted.
Commenting on their posts will show that you are still interested in them. It will show that you are aware of their social media existence. However, your comments should make sense. Don't write personal stuff over there. For that, you have the DM feature.
#5 Say something good about their DP in their DM
You can also use the DM feature to say something good about the new DP they have put up on their account. If you have something personal to say, this is the right place to say so. Write whatever you can't write in the comments.
However, don't be creepy. You need to adhere to a certain invisible boundary while you talk to them, DMs. Remember that you guys are broken up. You are no longer entitled to say certain things that you were able to say as a partner when you were dating each other.
#6 Say that you want to finish the conversation you started
You started a conversation but could never finish it due to the abrupt fight that ended in a breakup. Reconnect with them to finish that conversation. If reconciliation isn't what you want, try not to talk about it. Don't entertain the idea if they hint about the same.
Remember why you wanted to reconnect in the first place. You just wanted to finish an unfinished conversation. Nothing else other than that should be your priority.
#7 Casually ask them how they are doing
Try to act casual as you ask them how they are doing these days. You might be thrilled to talk to them after so long. Don't show that even if you are excited about reconnecting with them. Try to stay calm and ask them breezy questions like:
- "Hey. How're you doing?"
- "I was just thinking about you. What are you up to these days?"
Your questions should be as formal as possible. Don't show that you might still have feelings. That can freak them out.
#8 Say that you want to be friends again
This would be easy if you were friends before you started dating. The brief relationship you had brought rifts into your friendship. The breakup pulled you apart. You want your friend back. Talk to them.
If you want to resume the friendship, you will have to let your friend know. You should also keep their opinion in the account. Try to know what they think about you after the breakup. You can't regain the friendship if your friend has already decided to distance themselves from you forever.
#9 Send a text and delete it
It's a running joke among many people. When someone sends and deletes a text, the receiver tends to ask questions about that, like: "What was that? Why did you delete the text?" Ideally, a deleted text is supposed to be ignored, but most people don't get this simple idea behind the feature.
However, this running joke can come in handy when you are trying to grab their attention in your quest to reconnect. Send a text (or texts) and delete it immediately. That will create a mystery that will possibly intrigue your ex.
This process will work best if they are curious. Once they get the notification for a deleted text, they will want to know what it was. That way, they might end up talking to you.
#10 Be the first person to comfort them after their breakup
You know they have broken up. Be the first person to comfort them. Show that you are there for them even if your relationship has ended long back. Behave like a true friend. That is one of the best ways to reconnect with an ex.
They should realize that you care. Lend a shoulder to cry on when they need it. Listen to them as they complain about the person they have broken up with. Chances are there that they will understand your importance in their life. They might even consider reconciliation.
#11 Ask for a favor
If you can't come up with ways to reconnect with them, ask for a favor. It can be random or about something that you really need. If you can't think of a favor instantly, take some time to think and plan the conversation. They should not realize that you are eager to reconnect.
If you ask them for random favors, try to create a fake crisis to show them how serious you are about the issue. Be careful about what you do or say. Even a little hint of your falsehood can ruin the relationship forever.
#12 Be honest and say that you still have feelings
Don't beat around the bush. Instead, be honest and say that you still have feelings for them. The honesty might fulfill your wish for reconciliation. However, don't have high hopes.
People tend to move on after a breakup. This plan might not work if your ex has already moved on. They are probably no longer interested in you. But you can always reignite the old fire with words and memories. Say what you feel about them and how much you miss them.
To sum up
There is nothing better than getting your old love back. But when you want to reconnect with someone you have dated briefly, you must be sure that you like this person.
Take time to think about the consequences of reconnecting with someone you have broken up with after dating them for a few months. In most cases, this is a bad idea.
But you need to follow your heart in this situation. It is better to try this out instead of living in regret for the rest of your life. If reconnecting doesn't work out, you will be content with the fact that you tried your best.