Can a Guy Change His Mind After Rejecting You? [Yes, Here's Why]

Apparently, Miss Elizabeth Bennet wasn’t good enough for Mr.Darcy in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. He instantly rejected her at the beginning of the novel, only to fall in love with her throughout the rest of it. He came back to her with a proposal, got rejected, and came back again. That was the Regency era; this is 2022, and when I say nothing has changed, I mean it.

You came here asking, “Can a guy change his mind after rejecting me?” Of course, he can. If you step into his shoes, you will see the reasons why he rejected you at first sight. You may not like the reasons. “Why would he change his mind?”—the answer to this question lies in the spirals of his brain. Let’s find out more.

Why would he reject you?

Have you ever rejected a person for the silliest possible reason? You don’t have to answer that.

All of us have done it at some point in our lives. If he rejected you at first sight, he must have a reason (that reason can be silly, though).

Chances are there; he will never tell you why he rejected you. If you are really into this guy, you will have to find out the reasons on your own. I can only attempt to help. Read on.

#1 He doesn’t like how you look

It’s unfortunate, but looks do matter for most people. He rejected you because he did not like how you looked. You were not at your best at the moment he placed his eyes on you. Hence, the rash judgment.

Before Chandler found a partner in Monica, he used to come up with all kinds of weird reasons for rejecting women who were perfectly fine. He actually rejected someone for having an “unusually large head”— like that is a real reason!

In an ideal world, looks shouldn’t matter. But this world that we live in isn’t ideal, and we fuss overlooks all the time. 

All of us have rejected a person for how they look at some point in our lives. Of course, a mistake like that cannot define you when you have changed for good.

Your positive change has helped you see how wrong it is to reject someone solely based on their looks.

#2 He thinks you guys can never be compatible

Something about you has made him believe that you guys can never be compatible. This happens when two people are the absolute opposites of each other. 

The few hours that you have spent near each other have found nothing in common between the two of you. Maybe, you were trying too hard to impress him, or you were trying to be too hard to get. Your efforts have backfired here.

He thinks there will be a sheer lack of topics to converse about once you get into a relationship. He is a mature person who tends to think beyond how a person looks. He rejected you for a serious reason.

#3 He has seen you at your worst behavior

We all have bad days, and then we have our worst days. Unfortunately, he met you on your worst day. The rejection, in this case, is nobody’s fault. 

Often, when we have a bad day, we have mood swings along with it. We are constantly irritated and get annoyed at every little thing. Some people can even have a meltdown in the middle of the day.

This guy you are so obsessed with saw you for the first time on your worst day. His judgment about you is solely based on that. 

He saw you at your worst behavior, without a prior context, and now thinks that’s how you are.

#4 He is confused

Confusion can be of many types. Whatever it may be, it is stopping him from dating you. He rejected you because he is confused about something.

The confusion can be the result of a past relationship or another person he kind of likes.

He can be confused about going out with a new person when he is truly not over his past relationship. This happens especially when it is a long one.

Remember Ross in season one of F.R.I.E.N.D.S? The first date he went on after his divorce was a disaster! There was this perfect woman who was sitting beside him, yet he kept on looking at his ex-wife across the table.

This guy, who rejected you, wants to protect you from the possible heartbreak that can come from dating a confused person.

If he has rejected you because he is confused between you and another woman, he is taking his time to make a decision. 

He needs to decide who is best for him. And he will need more time for that. Let’s hope he doesn’t take too much time like the Viscount in the second season of Bridgerton.

#5 He has heard rumors about you

Rumors are the worst things, and now you are a victim of them. This guy that you like rejected you because of some rumor about you. 

Rumors are often spread to bring disgrace to a person. Back in school, weird rumors used to spread like wildfire.

The rumor about you must have been an extremely repulsive one. No one (except the one who started this rumor) is at fault here. The guy is not that familiar with you to come and ask you in person about the truth. He believed in what he heard.

#6 He is still in love with his ex

Not being able to get over a past relationship and being in love with one’s ex are totally different things. If getting over the relationship is the issue, he will eventually accomplish it.

He might take a little more time than others; till then, you will have to wait.

But when it comes to the fact that he is still in love with his ex, you can’t do much about it.

For the sake of argument, let’s say you manage to get into a relationship with this guy. But will it last? The common answer is—it won’t. If he is still in love with an ex, it will be better for you to leave the guy alone and look for love elsewhere.

Why would he change his mind?

Every rushed decision is the result of a certain unsuitable circumstance. He rejected you at a moment when you were at your worst. 

He could have rejected you even for his disturbed state of mind at the moment. And, now that he knows you a little better, he regrets the fact that he let you go. He wants to come back to you. He seeks a second chance. But why? Let’s find out.

#1 He knows you better now

He took a quick decision that he now thinks was wrong. He rejected you because he was not much familiar with you. 

Now that he knows you better, he wants to reconsider his decision and get back to you. After spending a considerable amount of time around you, he has come to the decision that you are probably the best potential partner.

Now that he has changed his mind, he can put a lot of effort to convince you to take him back. He knows that his rejection has broken your heart.

Some guys in such situations can go to extremes to make the amends. He can even change how he thinks, as Mr. Darcy did at the end of Pride and Prejudice.

#2 He is no longer confused

The confusion is over, and he definitely wants you in his life. That’s why he changed his mind.

All this time that he has spent being confused over two people (that includes you) has been particularly difficult for you and for him as well.

Now that he is no longer confused, he wants to give this relationship a chance to grow. He like you now. He is over his past relationship; thoughts about his ex don’t bother him anymore.

#3 He has rectified the way he thinks

Everyone can change. He changed the way he thinks; the way he looks at people. He rejected you because he disliked how you looked. Now that he has realized the fault in his way of thinking, he is trying to change it.

He changed his mind because now he likes you as a person. How you look doesn’t matter to him now.

Being concerned about looks or judging someone by their looks are not very acceptable human standards. It is great that he realized it in time and tried to make amends for hurting you.

#4 He sees a great partner in you

His first judgment was wrong. He saw you at your worst and came to the conclusion that you two can never be together. But now that he knows you a little better, he sees a potential partner in you.

He thinks you will be perfect for him. He regrets his rejection of you and is now trying to get you back. 

For you, this is a tricky situation. You might not want to go back to a guy who refused to be with you when you asked him out. He will persistently try to convince you into a relationship, but accepting his advances is totally up to you now.

#5 He cross-checked the false rumors

Like I said earlier, rumors are meant to defame people. They may start as a harmless little lie about you and can reach a relatively harmful level in a matter of a few days if it is allowed to grow unchecked.

He rejected you because of some repulsive rumors about you, but now that he knows about the false facts, he regrets letting you go and wants you back. 

Before these rumors entered his ears, he was quite smitten by you. He might even have made plans to ask you out. But the rumors changed everything. Now that it is over, you two can think about a possible relationship.

#6 He is over his ex

He rejected you because he was still in love with his ex and did not want to hurt you in any way. But everything has an expiry date, and so does his obsession with the past. 

Now that he is over his old partner, his mind free to fall in love with someone else.

He rejected you at first, probably because he did not want to upset you by making you a part of his complicated life.

He has left all of that behind. Now, he wants you by his side. It’s perfectly alright if you are not into him anymore. Just let him know that.

What to do now?

You asked him out. He rejected you. And now he is back. Getting into a relationship with this guy is totally up to you now. You should deal with the situation carefully.

Don’t start going out with him the moment he asks you out. Instead, you can make him feel how you felt for a few days. If he persists, the relationship is good to go. If he stops pursuing you at the smallest inconvenience, it will be better to stay away from someone like him.

What else can you do? Here is a list.

#1 Ask him what made him reject you in the first place

The guy you like rejected you. If this doesn’t let you sleep at night, ask him why he did so.

He must have a reason, and you need to know that. Ask him what made him reject you so that you get to know what is wrong with you or with him.

Ask him questions, but try not to get into a fight as that may affect your image. His reasons for rejecting you might be unsatisfactory or too shallow to be a real reason. It might even be degrading.

You know who you are. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone, especially to people who are too into looks. Just let him know how you feel about the way he treated you in a calm manner and never look back.

#2 Check if he is the right guy

You have every right to check if he is the right guy for you. The best way to determine that is by talking to him. He rejected you and came back after a while. He must have some reason for both.

Try to know why he thought you were not suitable for him and then he changed his decision. Such a volatile mind can cause problems in the relationship later if you get into one with him.

#3 Talk to someone who knows him better

Talking to someone who knows him better may help you in getting into his mind. He rejected you first and then came back to you. He must have talked about you with a friend. If you have common friends, ask them what he thinks about you.

Now that he wants you back, it is totally up to you to accept his advances. Before stepping into a relationship with this guy, it is important to know how he looks at you or what he says about you to his friends in your absence.

If he is not willing to tell you the reason for the rejection, talking to his friends might even bring you answers.

#4 Check if he is truly over his ex

Sometimes, you think you are over someone, only to find out how wrong you are about it.

Remember the time a drunk Rachel left a message on Ross’s phone about how she was over him when she clearly wasn’t. That might be the case with him. If he is not over his ex yet, you wouldn’t want to get caught in the crossfire.

He thinks he is over his ex. That makes him change his mind and ask you out on a date. He isn’t aware of his own feelings. In the process, you end up being the only loser. 

The truth is, you are going to be a rebound relationship for him— someone he will need to realize how much he still loves his ex. That’s the worst thing. Stay away from it.

#5 Reject him if he is only into looks

If he rejected you just because of the way you look, you should keep your distance from this guy. 

He is into all that is glittery and blingy. He wants to come back probably because he saw you somewhere in a different outfit that suits his shallow beauty standards.

He is mean, but you still like him because he hides his meanness behind a charismatic personality. That is the biggest lie he has managed to pull off successfully. 

He will use his charismatic self when he tries to come back to you. You shouldn’t get carried away. Last time, he rejected you based on looks, this time, you will reject him based on his mean personality.

#6 Suspend your decision for a while

It is perfectly normal to be confused when a guy rejects you and then changes his mind to come back to you.

Taking a decision will not be easy in this case. You got hurt when this guy rejected you, and right when you are moving on, he makes a re-entry.

If it baffles you, talk to him about it. Try to learn more about his intentions and suspend your decision for the time being.

Take your time to say yes or no to this guy. After a while, if you still think he is patient and worthy of being in a relationship, you can go ahead.

Can a guy fall for a girl he rejected

People's feelings can change. A guy might say "no" to dating a girl at first. But later, he might start to like her. This can happen because:

1. Timing: Maybe it wasn't the right time before.
2. Learning More: They might find out they have fun things in common.
3. Changing Minds: Sometimes, friends or family can make someone say "no." But later, they might think differently.

If a guy changes his mind, he should be honest about it. The girl should think about what she wants too. Talking and being kind is important.

He rejected me but wants to be friends

When a guy decides against dating but suggests staying friends, it often means he values the bond you share. He might find comfort in your company and believes that a friendship can be fulfilling without the complexities of a romantic relationship.

It's natural to feel a mix of emotions about this. If there's any confusion, having an open conversation can clear things up. Remember, every relationship, whether it's friendship or romance, is built on understanding and trust.

Summing up

Rejecting someone and then changing your mind about that person is more common than you think. He rejected you for a reason, and now that he has changed his mind, he wants you back.

In situations like this, two things can happen: either he gets you back, or he loses you forever. The decision is totally up to you. You should be able to judge the situation correctly so that you don’t get hurt again.