Arranged Date but Haven't Heard From Him (13 Possible Reasons)Some urgent business came up that needed to be immediately handled. This also shows that at that moment, you are not the guy’s greatest or primary concern. He is treating you as a playdate and it is best that you keep yourself unattached for a while.
While planning to meet someone after having strings of heart-touching conversations is always exciting for both the guy and the girl. The girl, though posing as a feminist, secretly desires the guy to ask her out and make the first move.
When the guy finally does it, the girl skyrockets to cloud nine. However, the guy doesn't text her after that. He planned the date two days ahead and did not text her again.
This happened recently with a friend of mine. If it is happening to you too, worry not. In this blog post, I'll help you to figure out the reasons why a guy might arrange a date but possibly ghost you after that and what you can do about it.
Keep on reading to know more.
Reasons why he arranged for a date and haven't texted since then
He might have been caught up in some urgent business that needed his attention. He might have completely forgotten about his date with you.
This is not something exclusive that has happened to him. It is something that happens to each one of us. But if you fear that that might not be the case because you had made a prior confirmation only the day before, scroll down to read below the possible reasons that could have led to such a case.
#1 He is nervous
If it was supposed to be your first date with the guy, he might be nervous. Many guys have performance anxiety and some look insecure.
He fears that you might judge him or that you might not make as good a pair together. If you are very beautiful or if the guys you have dated in the past were very handsome, he might face such issues.
Many other factors can trigger anxiety. The thought of bringing you something rather than showing up empty-handed at your door, the status symbol, the need for gratification, the communication gap, assuming that he is the one who is more interested than you and others.
It might also be that he is trying to treat you as a sidekick s time pass rather than a real-time connection. Many people practice virtual dates and sexting. For all you know, he might be lying to you and might even have a girlfriend or worse, might be married. To know more, click on the link - Exchanging Numbers While in a Relationship (Ultimate Guide).
#2 He is cheating
Perhaps the guy is already committed and is planning to cheat on his girlfriend but with slow and steady steps so that neither of you discovers it.
He might also be doing this as an act of vengeance because his girlfriend did something to break his heart. Either way, he is toxic.
Even when he meets you, check the frequency with which he checks his cellphone and if he is privy about it. It will tell you whether he is an honest t man or is he playing games with you.
You can also stalk his social media profiles to know more. If he is seeing someone, they will like his profile pictures and might even comment on them.
If he doesn't disclose his social profile to you, he is not to be trusted. He is messing with you big time. He doesn't quite like you and has no plan to make the relationship sustainable.
#3 He is busy planning
Perhaps the guy is planning your date with him. He got so excited and engrossed in the process that he forgot to keep in touch with you. This happens when you have been looking forward to seeing someone so much and spending your time with them that you don't know how to keep yourself composed.
You want to try to make everything so perfect that your date is impressive out of the ordinary and heart-winning. This might be the mind play of the guy here. He is working on making it extravagant and grand.
Perhaps wait till the day of the date and you would be spellbound to witness the change. It might be something splendid. It is not always that you come across a patient man who is not trying to make bold moves and assertions to impress you. Hence, when you do, savor the moment.
#4 He's playing games
There is a possibility that the guy is playing games with you perhaps to prove his points to others. This could turn out to be something very disappointing. The guy might have been challenged by his pals to impress you or ask you out.
It depends on when did you meet him for the first time, what convictions he holds before you, how did he pave his way to your heart, does he give the vibe of a keeper, whether is he a strong player, does he impress you to no end, and others.
You need to test him before you go out with him. Give him certain challenges that he might not care for if he is not interested in you. Many such things can be done. You can make an abrupt demand at an odd hour or ask him some favor that is not easily done.
If he asks you out, you can ask him to cook for you. This will be a brilliant test on not only how much weightage he gives to your words but also his thoughts on romanticism and feminism.
#5 He is fooling around
Perhaps the guy was just high and fooling around. In a state of inebriation, he might have said the words that he never meant. They were to gain your confidence and lull you into getting comfortable with him. Such exchanges help to set a pretext for make-believe situations and talk in terms of “what if,” and “do we.”
It helps you to understand each other’s wavelength but what you miss out on is the importance of having such conversations. You don’t have to mind all this play if you have no genuine interest to make something meaningful out of it in the first place.
When the intention from both ends is to fool around then the matter rests at neutrality. No harm is done and everything is a play that can be forgotten over time. He might text you again one day and make a plan for another date. Mostly it is done to gain favors and if you don’t have expectations either then it becomes a by-gone matter.
#6 He feels that you are already taken
Perhaps the guy didn’t get any serious vibe from you. This happens when you never initiate a conversation or make the first move. If it has always been the guy who compliments you, stalks you, or writes poetry on you, he might not express it but he will set off certain expectations.
Hence, it becomes important if you are serious about him to make him feel the same. What is keeping you from making advanced moves? Is it the trust factor? Don’t you feel that a little gratification is essential here?
Even if you are not planning to initiate a relationship, it becomes important that you fix your goals and work on achieving them. Not everything is about gaining. Sometimes an equal exchange from both ends is magical.
You cherish the dynamic, the dimensions, and the growth. You see that both of you have come a long way to make a meaningful exchange. You harbor no grudge. There is loyalty and meaningful initiatives here.
#7 He's not ready for a relationship
Perhaps the guy has just had a breakup and he is not ready for a relationship yet. Fixing a date with you might be a deliberation from the end of his friends but he still wants to take his share of time to get over everything one step at a time.
You can tell him that you don’t mean a date as a date. It could be a meeting to kill time and an opportunity to get to know each other. It will make him less nervous and take away any anxiety, formality, or sense of apprehension. Once you get comfortable and the kind of comfort you share, based on that you can decide your future consistency.
#8 You are not consistent with your replies
If you are taking the guy as a playdate, he will take you as one too. Being consistent in your gestures, actions, conversations, and replies makes the bond substantial. What you give, you shall get. Don’t make people feel that you are taking them for granted. When you keep them before you and make them your priority, they will do the same too.
The age of dreaming and posing as the father’s princess is gone. Now people are more interested in doing things that will last longer. They can read and sense your nerve easily. If you are too careful about what you spill when you talk to them, they will know it. Transparency is important to make a relationship work.
#9 You didn't stand up to his expectations
Perhaps the guy was testing you. He didn’t quite get the vibe that he was looking for. If you are too homely, he had wanted someone more outgoing, and if you are too extrovert, he might have been looking for someone who would like to sit in that cozy corner with him to read out the passages from his favorite narratives.
It makes up good practice when you learn to ask the other person about their expectations and how they would come across as your boyfriend. When you describe your role as a girlfriend, they will be able to comfortably tell you if there are things that they might have wanted otherwise.
When the person says no matter what it shall be, we shall figure it out, you would know that you have found the one. The right one will always hustle hard to give their best to you. For what goes around comes around and the best surprises occur when you were expecting none at all.
#10 He's not over his ex
Perhaps the guy is still not over his ex. He might have thought to give this a try but either the mode and pattern of conversation is such that it reminds him again and again of her or he hasn’t grieved the loss yet.
The situation becomes tough when he lost his ex in an accident. He might have to take therapy to overcome her loss. You must dig into his past before asking him out. This is a safe practice that many of us fail to acknowledge or consider.
We are always in a runaway from our past that we make ourselves its victim. As we run away from it, we feel that it is chasing us. If we take away that importance from it,
#11 He had a medical emergency
There is a possibility that the guy had a medical emergency and due to this he is unavailable over text. Perhaps if you have his number, give him a call.
You don't need to mention anything about the date when you call him. Do it just to check if he is doing fine. Sometimes that means a lot. For all you know, you can save a man's life.
Most of us are so heartbroken and full of disaster that we don't comply with the things happening around us. We merely live and endure all that goes by until one day when it all comes breaking down to break us.
You don't know what one is going through. Hence, it is always for the best to comply with not just reasons but an understanding between yourself and others. As long as you can keep things fluid between both of you, there will be much less regret and pain.
#12 He's afraid of rejection
If the guy is too insecure, he will be afraid of rejection. Such fear can make people not participate and do certain things. The fear of rejection can be triggered through various things including your thought process and the way you put them in words.
Don't use negative words when you chat with him. Show him more encouragement to talk to you candidly. It doesn't occur naturally to most people. You can share a couple of emoticons and heart emojis to show the de depth of your involvement with him.
#13 He is waiting for explicit pictures
Perhaps the guy is only interested in what he can get from you. He is not a giver or a contributor. This can happen due to his collective suffering and experience.
If it has only been you who always texts him first, that is, if he has not dropped any signal that he is interested in you or if he is merely replying to you because he feels obliged to when he sees your text, it could also mean that he is interested in you because you are interested in him or that he will love you because he knows that you love him.
Some people like to experience love. They are always on the receiving end. They like to take all that they get without complaining. However, most of the time, with it is their turn to contribute, they run away. To know more, click on the link - I Always Text Him First Should I Stop [Read this before taking a decision]
What to do when he arranges a date but ghosts you?
Don't rack your brain much. You obviously cannot force him to meet you. If you feel that he owes it to you or he has been unjustly unfair to you, all the more reason to stay calm and composed.
Why allow someone's negligence towards you to trigger you? How to curb it and gather self-courage find out below.
#1 Wait a little longer
Time heals everything. The saying holds. People don't rely on time just like that. It is a powerful tool that can heal you.
The moments in life when you are unable to say right from wrong, you tend to become more apprehensive and fearful. Instead, you should become more grateful and patient in life.
When you trust the process of life, you know that nothing will obstruct your view. You will get more freedom in the little things that you choose to do. Having control over the urges of life is necessary.
Don't throw yourself or your expectations just like that. Everything happens at the right moment in life. Wait for that moment.
#2 Reach out
Reaching out has many core advantages. When you reach out to someone, you get clarity and wisdom. It brings you sustenance and prepares you to act better next time.
Moreover, you are dealing with people. How worse can it be? If they are letting you come close to them, you can either make their day by bringing a smile to their face or unmake it. The choice is yours to settle.
Hence, don't hold yourself back in places where your words can make a difference. In life, while decisions cannot be made promptly, you can always initiate in the right direction.
What is right and how to tell it? When you do things for other people, it is right. When you pay weight and take into consideration what might bring happiness to others, it is right. When you are not selfish in all your moves, it is right.
#3 Don't set your expectations high
The best kind of relationship has a lukewarm beginning. If you touch the waters and it doesn't shiver you, it is there to satiate you.
Something too hot or too cold might ruin things as easily as the beginning. Hence, it is for the best that you don't set your expectations too high. Just go with the flow rather than get obsessed about everything.
When things are modulated and you don't hype them, everything turns out to be natural and balanced. Keeping your expectations in check and taking their expectations into concern is the right way to move ahead.
#4 Stalk him
If you are highly obsessed with him then you might as well be already stalking him. Asking you to cut off this habit will only trigger you to do it more and it will become a toxic pattern where you might block and unblock him every time.
It is a futile exercise. What I would suggest you do instead of stalking him to your heart's content if you intend to. When you keep on checking his day in and out, you will get drained by it and automatically start scanning the flaws in his character. It will help you to drift apart from him and that will be a permanent move.
#5 Read the chats again
Sometimes revisiting the chats helps. You will be able to make out the turning point. It will help you to take the next step carefully.
You will also be able to make changes in your point of view which might enable him to meet you midway. Moreover, this will show him that you are a caring soul. He might like the initiative and gesture. It will enable the will to open up more readily.
#6 Learn from the experience
Keep taking your notes and never stop learning the lesson of life. Your next step is to move on to someone else. When you look for that next person, make sure that the flaws and errors don't become a pattern. Take it slow, and keep your non-negotiables clear. Take it one step at a time and you will be a happy soul.
Never stop trusting yourself. Even if the guy fixes a date and doesn't make a move, it doesn't make much difference in your life. As long as you keep your expectations low and in check, everything will be fine. Your happiness is in your hand, don't let anyone else take control of it.