I Always Text Him First Should I Stop [Read this before taking a decision]No, texting first is not the problem. The intent or the lack of intent for the other person to not text first is the problem. If he is not texting first because he is busy, there's nothing to mind. If he's not texting first because he needs a break, you must stop.
One must never make hasty decisions in a relationship. You must try to understand the root cause of a problem before making your call.
While texting is convenient, and you text him good morning daily but never get one from his side, you might feel disheartened.
In this blog, I'll help you to figure out when it is fine to text him first and when it is not. Also, what should be your next step in either situation. So keep reading and worry not.
When it is okay to text him first
It is okay to text him first when you get prompt replies. This suggests that he is not trying to ignore you but is occupied with some work.
At the same time, there are more signs and ways to understand comprehensively when to text him first and when not. Keep reading to know more.
#1 You get prompt replies
When you get prompt replies from him, it means you are in a healthy relationship. He matches up with your energy and has nothing to worry about.
He is perhaps on a business trip or planning down the business agenda, which is keeping him busy. He doesn't text you first because he loves to chat with you.
He knows that once you begin to chat, it will go on for some time. If all these are true, smile and kiss him when you see him.
#2 The replies are effortless
When you feel that he is talking his heart out to you, he is not being very mindful of the words he uses. The sign for this is when the chat is bilingual. Bilingualism suggests comfortability and a lack of affectation.
It would mean he is not trying to impress you because you are beyond that stage. He trusts you and believes that you would have faith in him and this relationship.
This is one of the most rewarding experiences. Don't strain it with doubts. Take it slowly, and you will get more reasons to smile.
#3 He uses emoticons in his replies
A guy doesn't usually use emoticons in conversations. So, if your guy uses emoticons, you are his honey plum.
He likes to express himself before you via those emoticons. Try to engage with him and take it to the next level via conversation rather than staying aloof.
Be on your best behavior. If you miss him, show him that without being too uncool about it.
Remember the time if the other person is more comfortable in sharing memes, emoticons, and jokes, you too share the same. Send stickers and caricatures.
#4 His replies make you smile
It doesn't matter if you talk less, but if the conversation is nothing below the upper mark of happiness, there's no reason to raise eyebrows, right?
If the exchange with him is your reason to smile, if it makes your day, keep the dice rolling. Don't halt unless you feel that you have been pretending to be happy.
Don't come under the influence of the wrong lot. Do not allow your best friend to set the ground rules for you.
If your best friend said that her boyfriend always texts her first and she doesn't without any strong reason, their relationship is hollow.
#5 He asks you about your day
It doesn't matter who texts first if the other person is your well-wisher. If he never skips to ask you about your day, if his concern for you is palpable, you must keep him.
Our mind likes to cloud us with unnecessary darkness. Your love for him must render you the ability to pierce beyond this dark cloud of soot.
Perhaps you are seeking answers to the wrong set of questions. Rather than asking if you should text him first, ask yourself what makes you perfect for one another? Do you sync well? Do you feel on cloud nine when he is with you?
These are the points that count, right? The happy episodes and how to make it happier. Be graceful and lovable. When you are at your best and willing to improve, your positivity will dispel the negative vibes.
#6 He apologizes for not being able to text sooner
If he is aware that he is not giving you the time you deserve and he acknowledges and apologizes for it, he is a darling, and you must keep him.
When a guy apologizes, he is over and above the male ego that makes us uncomfortable. Such a man doesn't fail to charm.
Accept his apology with open arms and try to understand the reason beneath this inability. You will be more helpful to him when you know the reasons. Your mind will stop hammering you with unnecessary convictions.
#7 He calls you his girl
Notice the way a guy addresses you. A lot is revealed in the manner a person is spoken to. If he uses endearing words such as 'darling,' 'honey,' 'my girl,' or better still, gives you a cute nickname, he is your man!
When you are addressed sweetly, don't burst out your anger on him. He is doing this to stir the anger away. Instead, match up with the naming game. Save his number with a cute secret name. Something that is between both of you and a third person stays ignorant about.
#8 He has put up his DP with you
If his dp is with you, doubting him or his intent must be out of the question unless it's a deliberate move because he is guilty. He has cheated on you.
Perhaps stalk him for a short while. It is not healthy, and it is always better to communicate your doubts, but scrolling down his feed and comments is harmless.
You will get a rough idea of who he is keeping close in his life and if his equation with another girl is taking up another tangent. If you discover something, ask him about it. If you don't find anything faulty, stop overthinking.
#9 Your relationship is official
When your relationship is young but official, there's nothing to worry about on other accounts. All you must take care of is to feel loved and give love.
Getting love is not difficult when you are a giver. If your presence is appreciated, you will be loved. In such cases, always strive to make yourself better.
The other person will not be able to not love you. Mixology of tenderness, empathy, and kindness will prepare the potion.
#10 He brings you flowers to make up for the time not spent with you
When your guy makes up for all the lost moments, he is your guy. Any gesture of forgiveness, kindness, and love must be appreciated. Try to show that you understand and appreciate the efforts.
Whatever time you spend talking to one another should be the time you enjoy. It must always be something you look forward to. Your heart should hum and sing at the thought of it.
When he gets you flowers, you send him a bowl of his favorite curry. Match up the efforts. Questioning and demotivating do not require a skill.
When you shouldn't text him first
It is not okay to text first when you receive short replies. It is indicative that the guy is trying to ignore you or needs a break.
However, there can be more and other reasons to understand this context. Let's find out more.
#1 He treats you like a friend
If he feels you his buddy or treats you as a pal, you're ranking him high on your list of important people. He is not that important. This is the first thing you must remind yourself.
Give him the same level of treatment. When someone doesn't match your vibe, it's better to keep them away from your life. There's no point in trying to force a relationship.
A heart can be won. But a great unwillingness to surrender isn't worth winning. Make yourself your priority. Everything will fall in place eventually.
#2 He never uses emoticons
If the conversation is monotonous, it feels like it is done under boundations; it is better not to do it. In life, try to stay away from anything tedious and unrewarding at the same time.
If the conversation with him lacks easiness, fondness, clarity, or elements you readily find with someone else but him, he is not the one. You're trying to vibe up with the wrong person.
You will get your man. You won't have to put loads of effort into it, or at least, it won't be one-sided. Have patience and pass on this one.
#3 He gives short replies with long pauses
If the guy gives you short and slow replies, it could mean two things. One, he is not much into texting, which given the present work from the home scenario, is unlikely. Second, he is not into you.
Try to understand and accept the facts. Don't romanticize something or someone not meant for romance. While you might be hopelessly romantic, he might be of a stern disposition.
You're too hot, and he is too cold. If you feel this is true, you're not meant for one another. These are early signs of a struggling relationship eventually leading to break-up.
In most of the scenarios, a disclosure is not expected. You cut off each other from your life and move on in your search for the one meant for you.
#4 He never shares a joke
If the guy doesn't try to make you laugh or if your laugh makes him uncomfortable and tries to judge you, he is not the one.
Men have this habit of sharing jokes and tagging their loved ones on memes to send them a reminder that they think about you and remember your habits.
If this person has never done either of them, you are compromising your time and energy for someone not worthwhile. Always get yourself someone who loves to talk about all the delightful things in the world when with you.
A person undergoing depression will make you depressed too. They need therapy and friendship, but a romantic relationship, unless it's an old one, won't be fruitful.
#5 He does not engage you in his social circle
If the guy keeps you a secret and neither tells you about his friends nor acknowledges you in their presence, he is a big mistake! You cannot count on such a person.
A guy worth your time would love to pose as a couple with you unless you wanted it otherwise. Never give importance to someone who shies away from making a public appearance with you.
Your partner, lover, and friend should be proud to have you in their life. They must value and respect you. You're your father's princess, remember that!
#6 He is rude
If the guy is not well-mannered or is rude to you, discard him from your life. You deserve the right treatment before anything else. If the guy is abusive or uses base terms that hits your ears, do not entertain him.
Self-dignity must be your priority. If you're all sweet and honey, you deserve someone who knows how to nourish your nectar. Don't settle for anything else. Even if he is handsome, an ugly personality takes away all the charm.
#7 You feel empty
If you feel hollow and empty with him, he is not your man. Your guy will make you feel wholesome and complete. He would worship you and make love to you.
You must feel glorious in his company. Your eyes should sparkle, and your soul must be grateful to find the right companion.
It's your life, and you're to make its decisions. If someone doesn't give you fair treatment, they don't deserve to see the best form of you. If the guy isn't chivalrous, you don't need to be a damsel either.
#8 You are more in pain when you talk to him
If the guy brings you pain or hurts you even when you're the one to text him first, it implies that he has taken you for granted and behaves as if a lot of pressure thrust by you is crushing him.
You can ask him this:
"Am I exerting some kind of pressure on you? Do you feel responsible for me?
For if you do, I'd like to unburden you of me.
My only desire is to see you happy. If that means keeping myself away, I'd be fine with it."
Romance, love, or even friendship must be watered from both ends for sustenance. If it's one-sided, it shall never flourish.
What's the next step?
There are ways to control the situation. If, after reading the above points, texting him first doesn't look like a mistake, continue with the flow but mention to him your state of mind. Make it known that you're having your doubts. Ask him to reassure you. There's nothing wrong with that. When in doubt, rather than getting suspicious or skeptical, a heartfelt conversation takes one a long way.
If you feel that there's something wrong and unclear about his signs, take a break. Stop texting him first and follow the following steps to fetch clarity out of the muddled-up situation.
#1 Give short replies
For a while, act the way he is acting. Wait to see if he detects the change. If he does, he shall do one of the three things. Either he will mend his ways and be careful with his words. Or, he will confront you and ask you about it. Or, he will slowly bring the exchanges to a stop.
Either way, you would know what's up with him. If he mends his ways, he is yours to keep. If he confronts you, it allows you to rant before him. If he stops the conversation, he is meant to be a fling.
No matter what happens, you have to remember this, and you have your back. You are a strong woman. But more than that, you are a sensible one. You must let loose the one not happy with you.
#2 Take long pauses
Sending him texts with long pauses might agitate him and make him talk. Once he talks, heartbreak or no break, clarity won't be far away.
Do anything that it takes to make him talk when you want to know the state of his mind. Try to urge, appeal, and poke before coming to the final halt if the situation demands so.
Try not to leave any stone unturned because you don't want any regrets or residue in the after stage of moving on.
#3 Stop sharing photos
If the guy has been behaving off, do not share your photos with him. Restrain and restrict yourself from allowing him to get close to you as per his wish.
Be more thoughtful in your approach. Unconditional love must not be given when the reception doesn't make you feel loved or adored.
Be low-key. Don't tell him about your day unless asked for. Don't grant him his wishes unless he acknowledges yours. Make some ground rules, and stick by them.
#4 Stop addressing him with endearing terms
When your words go unvalued, take away the pricey syntax to fetch the right value. Don't address him with endearing terms until he yearns for it. If he doesn't behave like a darling, there's no point calling him one.
If you mean something to him, he will feel the change. If he had seen this coming, he wouldn't alter his behavior. If it were unintended, he would try to win back your trust.
#5 Archive your photos with him
If you have been posing as a girlfriend to him, but he has neither reciprocated nor acknowledged it, it's your turn to stay aloof. Archive your photos with him from social media until you are confident about your relationship status.
Wait to see his reaction and channel your decisions accordingly. It's better to slow down when taken up with doubts rather than making a hasty decision or being dismissive about something.
#6 Stop texting good morning and good night
When you become fond of a person, the first and last thought in your mind is of that person. If you have a study corner for this guy, you must be sending him a warm greeting every morning and a cozy wish every night.
While it is difficult to cut off the habit of wishing for someone when you've been doing it for a while, it is not impossible. The primary reason to do this is when your wishes are not appreciated, and you don't get a reply. Or if the reply is as few characters as possible. For instance,
You: "Hey! A very good morning. Shine like the sun, and have a great day ahead."
If the exchange is such, you're better off without such an exchange.
#7 Don't beg him to meet
If the guy is ignoring you or not showing a willingness to spend time with you, do not ask him out. There's no point in spending time with someone who would prefer to be someplace else.
You should meet a person only when they make you feel comfortable rather than a burden. If this guy wants to spend time with you, let him take the initiative. Don't get too enthusiastic about it.
Even if the thought excites you, refrain from expressing it. If he is paying notice, he would understand that something is off.
#8 Post happy solo photos with your friends
Sometimes people take us for granted. During those times, it becomes important to show them that you are well and happy without them.
When the guy doesn't text you first or show a keenness to know about your day, post happy photos with people who make a difference in your life.
If the guy feels burnt or neglected, he will make it obvious. If it doesn't affect him, he doesn't care for you.
#9 Take refuge in country life
Nature's lap never fails to please. When social life becomes too much to handle, it's good to take a break and take refuge in the lap of nature.
Maybe cycle to the nearest village or some remote spot invaded by quietude and charms of the healing world. Once your mood is uplifted, you will be able to see clearly and make wise decisions.
At the moment, however, you deserve a good break. Reward yourself with one.
#10 Enjoy a hot latte and a good book
If your situation doesn't allow you the leisure to travel or take a long break, allow the aromatic beans of a well-made cup of coffee and the adventures of a book written by your favorite author to take you places you have not been.
A short break from the monotonous life and viewing the world from the perspective of a novel's protagonist could be refreshing and worthwhile.
Texting first or not is not about ego play. However, you must consider that the person you are texting first looks forward to those texts. If he doesn't, you are not on the same page. Figure out where you stand with him, and everything will be fine.