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Why Doesn't She Talk to Me Like Before? [Reasons With Solution]

She doesn't talk to you like before because you lost the spark to make conversations. She was expecting conversations to take a turn for good, but the fire diminished rapidly. However, you can make things right by talking more about the things that interest her.Couple lying on a blanket in a sunny day and talking to eachother

Initiating a conversation is no big deal these days. With all the dating apps and social media platforms, one can drop a 'Hi! Ssup?' at any point of the day without much thought. What requires effort is to keep the conversation heated while keeping it light. 

It's like you want to vibe, but you don't want to vibe to extremes, at least not in the initial stages. It is, therefore, that you will have cases where everything was going fine, and you thought or felt that this was it!

You thought that you had been looking for this for so long, the connectivity, the fire, the kick, and finally, you have got it! Until, one day, you realize that it was all an illusion. You realize that the fire has been long diminished, and it's you left alone all over again.

Why does this happen? Well, that's a long story. Here, I'm interested in showing you how you can prevent it from happening or how to reignite the fire that has now been diminished for some time.

I want to add that there's nothing to fret about. It's all a part of human nature. Do not blame yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. 

If you connected and vibed well with a girl, but suddenly she doesn't talk to you in the same way she used to, we can get you there with a little effort and a spoonful of motivation.

Please keep reading and taking notes at your pace to understand how to share that cozy space with her again.

Why has your conversation taken a turn for the worse?

It's a pity when things were going smooth, but out of the blue, everything looks different now. You find yourself on a different plane where the person is still talking to you, but it doesn't feel the same.

Let's find out the most popular and possible reasons behind this turn of events.

#1 She lost her interest 

If you had been well connected with a girl for days and she suddenly stopped talking to you the same way, it means that she has lost her interest in you.

One of the first signs of such a discovery is when you stop receiving texts from her. If it has been happening for a while that it's always you who is initiating the conversation, then boy, oh boy, it can be alarming. It would be best if you started working in the correct direction at once.

While there can be many possible reasons why she lost her interest in you, to know the exact one, you would better convince her to open up to you. 

Tell her that you want to make this work and you cannot do it alone. Ask her if something has been putting her off and which she would want you to work on. Take baby steps, holding her hand in the right direction.

#2 She found someone new

Well, believe it or not, but unlike most of the boys who excel at having and maintaining conversations with more than one girl at the same time, girls terribly fail at it. 

My point is if she is not being very attentive while making conversations with you, it is because all her attention is drawn towards someone else's conversation.

The reason why this is happening could be quite a few, but I'll tell you the most probable ones are. Either this person is someone from her past, recreating memories, or he is someone new who shares her wavelength and has a good sense of humor.

There is nothing to panic about. The chances are that it might not last very long, and if your love is true and you remain consistent, she will trace her steps back to you.

However, this is a very crucial stage in your relationship. You must try to keep your calm and not be emotionally driven lest you break into a fight with her. Keep calm and trust me, she will appreciate it sooner or later.

#3 You haven't asked her out yet 

She is not making much effort in having conversations with you because you haven't asked her out yet. This might imply that she feels you are already seeing someone or you don't like her.

Well, you have put yourself into a pickle there. However, it's not a difficult job to disperse the hovering black clouds by voicing your feelings. Please don't take a lot of time to do this; else, she will find someone to replace you.

I've discussed the ways below under a separate heading. Keep reading to know more.

#4 She got to know some secrets about your past 

If there is anything that you had kept from her but which makes a crucial part of your identity or personality, there might be a chance that in the process of digging and gossiping, she has uncovered some secrets about you.

I do hope that you are neither a dark nor a mysterious person. However, it's all relative. Something trivial for you and me could be a big deal for her. And why not? She has invested her time and energy in you. The least she could expect is the truth.

There is nothing to fret about. Hopefully, it's not too late. Show her the raw you. Tell her your secrets. If she had known it, she'd appreciate that you shared it with her.

If she hasn't had a clue, she will find the bits of information fascinating, and it might bring you closer than before.

#5 She is busy

Well, you cannot outdo the possibility that she is keeping busy until and unless she is neither a working woman nor a student nor occupied in some urgent family issues. 

It is better to clear it right upfront. You can text or call her up. Ask her if she's busy, and you shall have your answer. 

You can go ahead and urge her to share her routine with you. That way, you would know what keeps her busy during the greater part of the day and when she stays free.

#6 You're boring 

It's either that you're boring, or she hasn't come across your fun side yet. If you have been coy and have been behaving a bit formal while she used to be carefree and humorous, it's time you show her the other side of the coin.

Nobody likes to have boring conversations. If you guys mostly talk about how your day went and the daily chores, it's bound to become monotonous. Either make it romantic by flirting with one another or make it humorous by finding something funny in the chores.

I'd dated this guy whose conversation was packed with humor. He was my Chandler. Too bad it was LDR, and I was looking for something more real.

However, he would not only find a way to make me smile, but for most of the conversation, we would laugh together at the same time. That's a different level of vibing, you know! Even after months, I don't regret a word wasted on that conversation. 

Be that person. Be her laughing gas. If you can make her laugh, you need not do or offer anything else.

#7 You're not good looking 

If the girl starts getting serious with you, she considers every aspect of your being. Even though at first, while initiating the conversation, she didn't take it all very seriously.

Now that you have been chatting and talking for a while and she sees that she waits for your replies or looks forward to having some text exchanges with you, it occurs to her that probably it's taking up on a slightly different tangent than what she had originally anticipated.

The moment she realizes all these differences, she starts observing you closely. She even begins to compare you with guys from her past or around her. She would mention you in front of her friends and show them your photo. She would eventually also compare you with her best friend's boyfriend.

If at any moment of making such comparisons or indulging in such deep thoughts, it occurs to her that you are not that good looking or you don't have an attractive physique, or you won't look a solid pair together, she will start distancing herself from you lest she begins to fall for you.

Don't worry. The repulsion is mostly followed by sudden attraction. If she has already thought and invested herself so much into the subject, she would think some more and make her way back to you, perhaps even apologizing for her sudden aloofness.

#8 You don't have a good voice 

If your chats suddenly took a turn to phone calls, and if your voice is not soothing or does not have that softness that girls desire while flirting with someone, it could be a major turn-off.

A manly and bold voice that is tuneless is not appreciated when you try to appear macho in front of your girl while talking to someone else.

It is ridiculed and considered disgusting when you are talking to a girl. She expects you to treat her differently. Your voice should maintain a low pitch to show her that you care.

#9 You don't understand her 

A good understanding is very important to maintain any relationship. Say she expresses her concerns before you, but you neither listen to it attentively nor support her with your words or gesture; it might put her off.

Communication and understanding is the key to making and developing any relationship. If you have not been at your best, work on it. You can restart the conversation by asking her about some of the topics that she had previously discussed with you.

Always remember, women are emotional beings. They need to connect with you on that scale to work in a long-term relationship.

#10 You don't exchange photos 

In the age of Instagram and Snapchat, if you don't begin exchanging photographs within the first fifteen days of your conversations, something is definitely off between the two of you. 

These photographs need not essentially be selfies. It can be about the places you're visiting or about the chores you're performing. It can be about the food you're having at that moment.

It brings you closer because, despite the space between both of you, it feels like you're with them at that moment. So, if you haven't shared any pictures yet, send her a decent one and ask her opinion on it.

#11 You're disrespectful towards others 

Respect, dignity, esteem -- these are important terms in a girl's dictionary. If she locates a binary in your character or behavior, she will distance herself from you at once.

That is, if you treat her one way but treat your female coworkers, sisters, or friends differently, she would understand that you are merely putting up a disguise before her.

The point to bear in mind over here, not only for this case but to develop a strong personality simultaneously, is to work on the way you behave with others. We all are partial towards some and play favoritism. However, there must be a benchmark in our general behavior.

#12 You're not rich

If the girl is a gold digger and has discovered your financial standing or if you're more into savings and investments rather than spending money on giving surprises or presents to others, she might have lost her interest in you.

Well, it's not merely the world that runs on finance. Human emotions are channelized in monetary terms as well. However, if she has distanced herself for such a reason, you're better off without her.

What should you do to win back the girl? 

If the girl is distant and has been put off by something, worry not. You can win back her heart with little effort from your end. I've discussed how you can have the conversation like the old times once again.

Let's find out how!

#1 Talk to her 

I want to reiterate; proper communication and clarity are crucial to making a conversation. Ask her if something is bothering her, play games where you get to shoot questions, such as a rapid-fire round, and you get to answer honestly

In this way, you will understand and get to know each other more. Make it fun. Don't get serious.

#2 Ask her out 

If you feel she is interested in you, take your chance and ask her out on a date. You can ask her out for coffee, and if you vibe great, you can go out for dinner. She would like and appreciate such understandable slow moves.

#3 Give her a surprise 

A pleasant surprise can win a girl's heart. If she is being aloof, she is mad at you. Girls seek attention and get pissed off if you fail to give it to them. Plan something more personal rather than grand. It should show that you care and listen to her wishes.

#4 Try to know more about her interest 

Change the locus of the conversation. Make her the center of conversations. Girls love to talk. You be the patient listener and when you give her feedback, give it in her favor.

#5 Compliment her 

Doses of compliment appreciating different parts of her being can win her heart. Compliment her eyes, applaud her decision-making skills, tell her that she is the most womanly creature you have ever seen.

#6 Do something romantic

romantic gesture like winking or holding hands, sharing cute gifs, or sending flowers and food parcels could be sweet and simple things that can help you win her heart.

#7 Earn her trust 

The first thing that you need to earn is her trust. She must never doubt you. Please don't take a lot of time to reply to her text. Take initiatives in making conversation. Ask her about her day and preference. Please get to know her and tell her about yourself too. 

#8 Tell her about your future plans 

When you share your plans with a girl, she begins to regard you respectfully. Earn that respect. Once you have her confidence, you will earn the badge of a keeper. 

#9 Buy her presents 

When you buy presents for a girl, it does not only mean that you like her, but it shows that you like her enough to show that you care. Girls know that well. 

If you get her a present and she accepts it, you will be a step closer to her; however, if she does not accept the present, it means that she isn't ready for the commitment yet.

#10 Improve your habits 

If you have crude habits, work on it a bit. Wear polished shoes, carry a handkerchief, always open doors for girls, be polite and humble. While making conversations or over-call, let her do the talking first. Always ask basic courteous questions like how she is doing and her plans.

#11 Don't flaunt a lot 

Don't make yourself the subject and center of every line of conversation. If you have achieved something, let her discover it naturally or through your friends.

Flaunting is never advisable. It isn't very pleasant and takes away the credit if you keep asking for it.

#12 Be flirtatious

Don't make the conversation monotonous. Be flirtatious. Don't try too hard, either. Maintain a balance between a normal and a cheesy conversation.

#13 Take her on movie dates 

Movie dates are romantic, and you get to spend a good 2 to 3 hours together. You share the same emotion and enjoy the songs. You can hold hands and occasionally look at one another. 

Sharing a tub of popcorn is a lovely feeling altogether. If she agrees to come on a movie date with you, there is much scope to take the relationship to a different level.

Quick tips

Here are some quick tips from my side:

  • Always be polite in your conversations. Win her heart with your gentlemanly behavior.
  • Never attempt to deliver lectures. Girls are impatient listeners. Don't get on her nerves by talking a lot.
  • Use more emoticons in your conversations lest it becomes monotonous. If your conversation is monotonous, they either feel that you're not interested, or they lose their interest. These simple hacks will help you in maintaining a flow.
  • Don't behave possessively or try to curb her freedom. At least till the point, you haven't said the magical words to each other, don't behave like a boyfriend. Keep it till playful flirting.
  • Never confess that you stalk her. She must not think or feel that you're obsessed with her. You don't want her to place you under the list of crazy heads.

Summing up 

To sum up, conversations can take a turn at times, which happens with every person. Each day is not the same. However, consistency is appreciated at the end of the day. If she texts you before going to bed and you are her first thought when she gets up, you are still safe. Make your conversations broader and more colorful to run them smoothly.

Suprity Acharyya


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