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Should I Send My Crush a Friend Request? [ANSWERED]

Yes. If your crush is sending you signals, showing interest in you, or if you two are involved anyways, you're all welcome to send them a friend request. But if your crush takes you too casually, or makes fun of you, think twice before sending a request to this person. Social Network text written on a paper

Having a crush on someone is a beautiful experience irrespective of men and women. But when it comes to interacting with the crush, most of us get confused. Most of the time, this confusion comes from fear of rejection. Particularly, for this reason, most of our crushes remain just 'crush' all the time. 

Suppose you have a huge crush on some classmate or maybe a senior from your college. You always keep stalking the person on Instagram and Facebook, but you're utterly confused.

"Should I send a friend request?" "Would it seem awkward?" "Would my request get accepted?" Thoughts like these are pretty common when someone gets a crush. 

If you are also going through such a dilemma, here am I to pull you out of this confusing situation. But initially, I would like to mention that getting a crush on someone works a little differently for men and women.

As their thought process works differently, they should also approach their crushes in different ways. Though most things are pretty common, I will still be mentioning a few points differently for men and women. 

When it's okay to send your crush a friend request

Whether you should send your crush a friend request or not depends on a few factors. That's why to resolve your confusion, first, you must understand those factors. Below are some points that signify when it's totally okay to send your crush a friend request. 

#1 If your crush is sending you signals 

Sometimes our crushes tend to send us many kinda signals. Not necessarily all those signals have to seem positive. In fact, most of the time, your crush will send you mixed signals like randomly stalking you on social media, staring at you at parties, but still not talking to you in that way, or maybe talking to you very casually in real-time. 

Irrespective of men and women, these mixed signals confuse us like hell. 

If you're dealing with the same situation, your crush is undoubtedly sending you such mixed signals specifically to get you confused. 

People do this exclusively to seek attention from someone. In this situation, there's no wrong in sending them a friend request as they're insisting on us to get our attention.

And if you are getting positive signals in the very first place, go for it without any further questions. 

But always remember, your crush might not be interested in you in the same way you feel for that person. But no matter how it goes, it's more than okay in this situation to send them a friend request. 

#2 If the person also shows interest in you

Suppose you and your crush both know each other pretty well or maybe you have just met and are now chitchatting. You're asking your crush how they're doing, what's the issue with their job, or if they are single or not blah blah blah. 

Your crush is entertaining you with a lively conversation and asking the same about you. You can definitely send a friend request to your crush in this situation. 

When we like someone, our conscious and subconscious minds try to know about that person. That's why we come up with a lot of queries for our crushes. If that is happening with both of you, then sending a friend request becomes just a mere formality.

Maybe your crush hasn't yet thought about sending you a request. But in this situation, if you send them a friend request, they'll be nothing but more than happy. 

#3 When your crush is just a random person (For Men)

I've already mentioned earlier that the same situation may work differently for men and women. It is such a situation that works positively for guys but negatively for girls. 

So, my dear fellow brothers, if you have seen a random woman, maybe online, or at a cafeteria, or in a house party, and got a huge crush on her, open her account up, and go click that request button. 

It's not at all an issue in sending some random girl a friend request. Because the girl perhaps received multiple such requests every day. So, it's totally okay to give her a try. 

If she likes you through your social media appearance, you may have a chance with this crush. Who knows! 

#4 When you and your crush are professionally involved

If your crush is someone you are professionally involved with, you can send them a friend request.

Sometimes get crushes on unexpected people whom we work with. Maybe you and your crush are colleagues, or perhaps classmates or a high school junior or senior. 

In this situation, you can always send a friend request. It won't be weird if a person receives a friend request from someone they work with.

If you're still in a dilemma, think of yourself. Would you mind receiving a request from such a person with whom you're professionally involved? NO, right? Then why would they!

#5 If you have known the person for a long time

Perhaps you have known your crush for really a long time. Maybe this person is one of your friend's friends or someone else you know.

You may haven't spoken to this person that way, but still, it's okay to send them a friend request. Come on! What more are you thinking of! It's nothing more than a request. 

Do you remember Rachel and Ross from FRIENDS? Ross used to have a huge crush on his sister's friend Rachel from high school days. 

Suppose, in a hypothetical situation; Ross sends a friend request to Rachel. Would Rachel think of it so complicatedly? Or Would she have accepted it thinking of Ross as Monica's elder brother? 

#6 When you genuinely need a favor from your crush

When you genuinely need your crush for something other than expressing and satisfying your emotional feelings, then it's totally okay to send a friend request to them. 

Suppose you need to know something, or maybe want to borrow something from your crush, and it's very much necessary.

In this situation, you don't need to hesitate about sending a request just because the person is your crush. 

You're sending this request not to a crush but to a person you need. But please don't make any excuses to send a request to your crush. If you cheat yourself now, it's not gonna be good for you.

When you should think twice before sending a friend request

There are certain situations when you should think twice before sending a friend request to your crush. No matter how strongly you feel for the person, your friend request might be proven a disaster for you in these situations.

But, I always say these are nothing but suggestions according to potential possibilities. The rest depends totally on you. If you're a pro and can handle any kinda situation, then nothing can and should stop you from sending a friend request to your crush.

But people with that much self-confidence wouldn't generally have landed on this blog. 

#1 If you are acting just out of desperation

Learn to evaluate yourself. If you think you're acting out of mere desperation rather than maturity, I suggest not sending a friend request to your crush. 

Because when people act out of mere desperation, they get lost in so many kinds of emotional dilemmas. So, if you wanna send a friend request to your crush, first, calm your mind down. 

Think maturely. Do you really want something to happen between you two? If yes, then go and send a friend request. If you think that it was just the heat of the moment, I hope it won't be difficult to decide. 

#2 If your crush is a friend of yours

If you got a crush on your friend and if that person is still not on your friend list, think twice before sending a friend request.

It may sound absurd to you, but I'm saying this because we talk a lot frankly with our friends. So obviously, you couldn't resist revealing your feelings. But the worst part is, we expect from our friends. This tendency of expectation is not gonna change if you get a crush on some friend.

In this situation, if that friend doesn't feel for you in the same way, and besides if both your expectations get hurt anyways, I'm afraid you may even lose your friendship. 

#3 When you know the person, but not so well

If you know someone but not so well that you can send a friend request, it's better to avoid sending one. Suppose it's some of your sister's or cousin's friend. 

You have met the person many times but never talked too much. In this situation, your request might seem a little bit weird to your crush. If you can handle this, then okay. If not, then you got your answer. 

#4 If your crush is just a random person (For Women)

For women, sending a friend request to random persons means a lot. Men have a reputation of thinking less complicatedly, but that's not always true. 

If you have a crush on a random guy and you send him a friend request, he might take it as an opportunity to hurt your dignity. It can always be an exception, but I'm just talking about the worst-case scenario. If that doesn't matter to you, then go for it. 

#5 If the person takes you too casually

If your crush takes you too casually, maybe the person isn't single or interested in something with you. In that situation, it's better not to send them friend requests and bother them with your emotional baggage. 

#6 If your crush has already made fun of you/insulted you anyways

You shouldn't think about sending your crush a friend request if they have made fun of you, mocked you, or insulted you anyways. After this, if you send a friend request to someone who insulted you, you would be cheating with your own self-respect.

#7 When you don't have a good social media appearance

The depth of any online friendship depends on both the persons' social media appearance. So, if you're not that much active on social media or do not have a pleasing social media appearance, you should avoid sending a friend request to your crush for now. 

If you're confused about your social media appearance, I would suggest you ask your friends to give their honest opinion, specifically of opposite sex. So, if you don't have a good appearance, first build one and then send the friend request.

#8 If you sucks at conversation

Suppose you sent your crush a friend request and the guy or the girl, whoever it is, accepts. What are you gonna do then?

You have to converse with the person. But if you have an introverted personality and can't talk too much, or if you're pretty irresponsive during a conversation, it's better not to send your crush a friend request in the very first place. 

At least, it'll help save you from further embarrassment. 

#9 If your request has already been rejected once

You once sent a friend request to your crush, and it got rejected. In this situation, you shouldn't compromise your self-dignity and send that person a friend request again. Rather do something so that your crush regrets rejecting your request and send one themselves. 

How you should approach if your crush accepts your request?

Suppose you sent a friend request to your crush, and to your surprise, the person accepts it. What would you do next? How should you approach them? Have you thought that even? Most of us usually don't. Below I will talk about such a few approaches that could help you if followed methodically. 

#1 Initiate conversation

All kinds of connections begin with a conversation, whether it's a friendship or romantic relationship. So, if you sent a friend request and your crush accepted it, you should first initiate a conversation.

Here, you must know how to approach initially in a conversation. Don't jump into anything or don't keep it too formal like 'hi' or 'hello.' Try thinking of something constructive. 

For reference, just go through their timeline, look into their 'about,' and I'm sure you'll find something that could help you to initiate a conversation. 

You can start your conversation with something like, 'Oh, you love listening to Pink Floyd. Which one is your favorite?', Or 'I was just looking through your timeline. I must say, you've really a nice sense of aesthetics'. Or you may also start with some dark humorous jokes that necessarily reflect your intellect.

#2 Try finding mutual interest 

Casual whatabouteries can't hold any conversation for long. If you have initiated a conversation, now you must find some area of mutual interest with your crush. 

This area of mutual interest doesn't only help you to keep a stronghold on the conversation, but it'll also bring your crush closer to you. Isn't that what you want?

#3 Create a comfortable space between you two

It's really important to create a comfortable space between you and your crush if you truly want something to happen. Always remember, friendship is the base of all romantic relationships.

So, be their closest friend first (must not be friend-zoned). Make your crush so comfortable with you that they do not hesitate to share anything. 

It may take a bit of time, but I can assure you that you will be making the bonding smoother and stronger than anything else through this process. 

#4 Show your reason if you have any

If you sent the request to your crush for any specific reason, I mean, if you genuinely need something from your crush, avoid unnecessary chitchat, and open up with your reason.

Only after your purpose gets served you can start chitchatting with the person. This approach implicitly talks about your personality in front of your crush. 

#5 It's time to speak the truth

Maybe it's been around a month now that you are talking to your crush. You two have developed a pretty good bonding and are now much comfortable with each other.

So, I think it's time to speak your truth. But don't ever portray that you sent the friend request just because you had a crush on that person. 

Rather, say it more diplomatically, like "I always had a crush on you. But I could hardly imagine that It would be so good to be with you.'

#6 Give your crush enough space to think

It's very important to give our crushes enough time to think after asking them out officially. Maybe the person had no idea that you had a crush.

So, give them time to think. Don't rush. Keep maintaining the comfortable space between you two, and act in such a way that there's no pressure to decide something immediately. 

Things you should do and avoid doing with your attitude

Do these:

  • Be polite while talking to your crush no matter online or offline. Politeness is one of the fundamental features of human characters that attracts others. 
  • Be casual initially. At the very beginning, if you start talking too seriously, it won't be appealing to your crush. So start talking lightly. Do a little bit of chitchat, come up with small talks, and flirt occasionally. 
  • Try becoming attentive—everybody, irrespective of men and women, likes those people who pay attention to them. So, if you want something serious to happen between you and your crush, give them the attention they deserve. 
  • Be a good listener. Listening to people is an art. During a conversation with your crush, always talk less and listen more. This approach doesn't only make you the favorite person for your crush, but it also helps to know your crush better than ever. 
  • Always speak confidently during a conversation with your crush. You may talk about your feelings, your past, your career. But whatever you speak, speak with positivity and confidence. 

Avoid doing these:

  • Always avoid being overwhelmed at the initial phase of talking to your crush. Otherwise, there is a chance that your crush will eventually take you for granted, and you will be friend-zoned. 
  • Avoid being too submissive. The issue is the same here as well. If you let your crush always dominate you during conversations, you might be taken for granted again. 
  • Don't force your crush on anything. Always respect their decision. Forcing your crush emotionally to do something is never gonna work. Rather, it'll only increase the distance between you two. 
  • Don't ever get friend-zoned. From the very initial phase, make it clear with your attitude that you're not 'just a friend.' Always try to keep yourself segregated from the friend circle of your crush. 
  • Never ever use sex to attract your crush (for women). If you do this, your crush may come and have sex with you. But the chance of him staying with you will decrease to a large extent. He will not only start taking you for granted but may also hurt your dignity. 

In conclusion

So I hope now it's pretty clear to you whether you should send a friend request to your crush or not. As I have always said, these are only mere suggestions based on common phenomena and potential possibilities.

But there is nothing binary in this regard. It would help if you read everything and collect ideas from everywhere, but eventually, it should be only you who decide. No psychologist, no blog in this world can decide on your behalf whether you should send a friend request to your crush or not.

Adhideb Ghosh

Senior Writer

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