Not Attracted to Anyone After Breakup (10 Tips for You)Your last relationship took a toll on your mental health. Whenever you look at someone, the past traumas come back to you. As a result, you are unable to react to the current offering and you get too nervous about everything.
It is not easy to move on after a breakup. Not everyone is a player. We like to take it bit by bit, one step at a time. As a result, when you are not attracted to anyone after a breakup, don’t lose yourself.
Perhaps all you need is some extra time and a super dose of love!
If you find yourself lost and confused about why you are not attracted to anyone after a breakup, worry not. In this blog post, I will help you figure out why this happens and what you can do about it. Keep reading to know more.
Reasons why you are not attracted to anyone after a breakup
You have stopped scanning them because you have been utterly disappointed in the other sex since the breakup. We all have this tendency to oversimplify things and generalize our experiences. It makes us feel better because it means that we have not been singularly fooled by someone.
To understand more about how attraction functions and fails to do, read the following.
#1 Your last relationship was way too perfect
If your last relationship was picture perfect and you created all kinds of memories, you were living together, you cooked together, from every minor thing to all the major aspects, you stood by together, it is going to be heartbreaking when it doesn’t work out.
It makes you skeptical and heartbroken. You are so disheartened that you avoid talking to people. You like to stay distant and disconnected from the world. You try to push away anyone who tries to come close.
There is a natural repulsion towards people and it affects your relationship with others. You make it the motto of your life to keep things low-key. You don't harbor any feelings for anyone or take any interest in your friend's love life either.
The only thing that might brighten your eyes momentarily is a mention of your ex. It might make your heart skip a beat skip. You might be thirsty for every sip of information. However, the recent flashbacks come to you at once and you get disconnected again.
What you need is a grieving period and a counselor. You need a go-to person, a reliable friend and you need to let those tears flow.
#2 You gave your best in the previous relationship
If you gave too much in your previous relationship and it was all done selflessly, yet you got nothing in return and the relationship failed you, it will take more than just time to overcome the whole thing.
You will need someone who puts in the same amount of effort as you did. When you discover your mirror image in a person, it moves you and helps in restoring your trust. Until then, you become oblivion to the things around you and fail to react when you see a very attractive person.
It is your angst against the masculine or feminine members that has made you stereotype their features. Moreover, you might want to make this time more about yourself, taking not huge leaps but slow, steady, and meaningful steps toward recovery.
During such periods and in the moments when you feel at your lowest, you need to understand the importance of being good in life. If you too shut the door towards goodness, how will you attract niceties? Life is a circle. You get back what you invest. The reason why it didn’t work out for you despite your best efforts is because that person was not the best.
You are more focused on the inherent qualities of a person now rather than being observant about their looks. You learned the hard way that someone can be too hot but too shallow at the same time. What goes into the making of a person is the way they think and the notions they believe.
#3 You haven’t found someone as hot as your ex
If you are too particular about looks, and your ex has been someone who made everyone’s jaw drop, it is going to be difficult to find a replacement. It is like your ex has set the benchmark for you. You don’t want to deal with anyone who falls below the benchmark.
Hence, you fear the initiation phase. Rather than giving it all a try and sending them a text or exchanging phone numbers, you make haste into ignoring, avoiding, and shutting your door, perhaps even shelling yourself from an unknown force.
You might find it to be a worrisome cause because it might make you believe that your scope of dating has become nullified, but that is certainly not the case. The right person will be able to see through you. They will take one look at you and will get the vibe from you.
With such folks, you don’t have to pretend or take a false display of mutual agreement. They will find a way to come around your insecurities. They will prioritize your comfort. They will whisper such things in your ear that they will immediately arouse you and want you to want them.
You will find everything to be so natural with them that you won’t even realize you are falling for them. It will be a lot later in life when you acknowledge your true feelings because by then you would get strong and clear signals from their end that they want you to be theirs.
Genuine interest will show up and won’t be able to keep you behind any longer. Life has its natural way of doing such things and setting such programming. You won’t have to take the weightage of role play with such people. They are mature enough to share the responsibilities equally.
#4 Your ex is not dating yet
If your ex is not dating yet, that can be a strong reason that is consciously or subconsciously pulling you apart from the dating platform. It would imply two things. First, you are either still in touch with your ex or stalking them, or you are hoping that they will return to you after they realized their mistake.
This usually happens when you were not the one to suggest a breakup and when you are not even too happy about it. Rather than getting a sense of freedom, you feel more suffocated by the entire process.
You wait in the hope that by some miracle and without coming across as helpless or desperate, you will get what you need. You are indulging in wishful thinking which is not much of great news. Instead, you can take a step at a time and work for and towards what you want to achieve.
Trying dating apps and filtering out your requirements by simultaneously being honest with yourself and the prospective date isn’t as bad or difficult as it might sound. You can be honest about it. If you are looking for intimacy, say so. If it is stability, tell them you are not here to fool around.
This will prevent any wrong assertions from taking place and your date will get motivated in being as bluntly honest with you as you are with them. Remember, honesty might bring an upper crust of bitterness but beneath that, it's all sugar and cream.
#5 You haven’t griefed properly
If you haven’t grieved to overcome your loss, you will find yourself stuck in a loop where no matter how hard you try, you won’t get the push towards a desirable happening. Griefing is necessary. While you might think that you are being strong and bold, that you don’t care for the breakups and you have had a lot many before, this might not be the case.
At some point of time in our life, all we seek for is stability. When we don’t get that, we being to question the scheme of things and the futile investment of emotions. While you might feel that you have been through that stage before, every time it happens, it stings harder and deeper.
The wounds run deep and hence you might not want to acknowledge it on the surface readily. There is not much that you can do here. Sometimes, time and the shoulders of a friend can bring you much comfort in life. Don’t forget life is all light and laughter. The more you treat it otherwise, the harder it becomes.
When you focus on the positivity of people, you will not get time to reflect on their negativity. It will keep you happy and content because your expectations are low and you are more focused on the things that matter.
What a person cannot give you, should not be listed. What they can provide you shall be celebrated. When you can take anything and everything that life offers in concrete steps and change it into something meaningful, you won’t be as easily left disappointed.
#6 Your ex is dating someone hotter
While you know that it is not a competition, you are still taking it as one. This happens when your ex has immediately switched on to someone else and taken a partner like you never happened to them.
This someone might even be the person with whom they cheated on you. Ask yourself if it is worth it to even consider them as a part of your life. It was a lie that you were living. They never wanted you and that is not something that you should take at face value.
It is an estimation that you must make in your eyes and you must know now that you want to set the table high. Such lowlifes good-for-nothing will not change or bring you splendor. You can do much better than that.
Hence, take it slow, and rather than panting on the loss of such a foul person, put on your best attire and go out with that glamorous face to find someone you deserve. Stop giving free passes to everyone who likes to come your way. The right ones will find ways to your heart and good enough reasons to stick by your side.
#7 You are not sure what you want
Perhaps the last breakup has left you so confused and destroyed that you are unable to clear your head and focus on things that matter.
As a result, when you see a prospective date, you get absorbed or lost in your thoughts, thinking about your deeply-seated prudent notions and beliefs rather than using the opportunity to make meaningful exchanges to move towards something more meaningful.
But is this something queer or out of nature? No, it is not. It is healthy that you are facing such issues and taking your time to process all that went in between you and your ex.
Most of us these days have adopted the fast-moving track so much that we don't even realize that we are losing. And then one day, boom! Your mental health collapses, you become a drug addict, and you are unable to take things anymore. Your life gets out of your control.
Undergoing the bewilderment and taking your time to unpuzzle yourself could become the key to achieving something better. You don't have to believe me, try it for yourself.
#8 Your ex hasn’t changed their relationship status
If you are hesitating to move on in life because your ex hasn't changed their relationship status, this is already very toxic for you. It means that you are so badly stuck that your ex won't think twice before trampling over you to crush your feelings and expectations one more time.
This time, however, it will be you who shall be blamed. Moreover, it is important to understand that your ex might be looking for someone and hence has kept the status unchanged. If they were cheating on you, perhaps they never put the status for you in the first place.
Tell yourself loudly and clearly that you don't need to make assumptions in life. Take a step only when one is needed. When they give you an absolute confirmation regarding the same. Without that, you don't need to make a move. It is not worth it. To know more, click on the link - Why Hasn't My Ex Changed Her Relationship Status? [ANSWERED]
#9 The breakup happened because you were not paying attention to yourself
If your ex broke up with you because you were basking in your comfort zone so much that all the pressure came upon your ex. They had to share all the responsibilities and look after you as if you were a toddler.
In such cases, you might even become negligent towards yourself in terms of health and wellness. You might think that since you are happily committed, you don't have to work on yourself now. You couldn't have been more wrong.
Since the relationship as it is get monotonous in the long run, and you get distracted by other guys or girls, it takes a lot of effort to not cheat on your partner. You must know how to turn them on with your looks and words.
Staying committed, faithful, and honest might be core to running a relationship but it is not all. You need constant excitement and thrill. It could come through participating in something exciting or going on adventures. But if you don’t come up with suggestions or never participate in the planning process, it might get a little too much.
As a result, your ex might not only have started losing interest in you but might have started feeling laid back too. They might feel that your influence is causing their downfall. This can cause serious anxiety issues. To know more, click on the link - My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me to Focus on Herself (Here's Why).
#10 Their body language and words are awkward and creepy
You haven't found the right match yet. People you have been coming across are too loud and creepy in their moves. If you are the old-school type, it will not suit your type.
Any bold move, gesture, or being too outlandish or modern might not appeal to you. The type you like is not easily found. It makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward.
As a result, you run away from people rather than towards them. This does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It only means that you will need a great deal of time before you find the right match.
What to do when you are not attracted to anyone after a breakup?
While you cannot forcefully like someone, going on blind dates could be helpful. You will not know what to expect and you might get something nice because you were expecting nothing.
Moreover, this could be an exciting proposal. What if they get you your favorite flowers or want to take you to a concert with your favorite artist? Even if you didn't quite like their face at first, their manners will please you limitlessly. Our love for a person should depend on how they treat us. To know more, keep reading below.
#1 Take your time
There is no rush. Don't let society dictate your behavior. Don't let them into making you believe that you are running out of time.
Love is always in the air and it is best when you don't fall for a person at once. The slow step towards commitment is the best.
You must delight in the period that precedes the commitment. There is no requirement to take a furious step. When you do things when it feels right, they stay longer than you expect. You can utilize your time by being occupied with engagements that keep you happy.
If you like to dance, enroll in a dance class. In the process, you might find your dancing partner or they can become a medium to find out the right person. When you share a mutual interest with someone, you automatically develop a liking for them and the rest of it comes naturally to you.
#2 Stop stalking your ex
If you truly want to move on in your life without wasting any more time and do something good out of it, take the first step by stopping to stalk your ex. The other steps will naturally follow when you do the first step right.
Your ex is a chapter you have done and dusted. It is futile to bother yourself with that part again. Unless you make the form choice to move on in your life, it will not happen.
When we allow our past experiences to take control, our life events get dictated by it and we do not get a new window to breathe. We keep on making comparisons to what we had. Though you might not find the newbies to be as perfect as your ex, you need to realize that your ex was a made-up story.
Fiction always tastes better. Your ex pretended to be someone you would like to date or you thought your ex to be someone you could love by merely focusing on certain aspects of it. When you got the whole picture, you couldn't believe it. Hence, take it one step at a time. Let go of your past like it never happened. You will feel the spring in autumn.
#3 Don’t be desperate
Don't be desperate to secure a date under peer pressure or drawing comparisons. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Do it when it feels that you are ready for it. If it has been a long time since your break up and you feel that you are losing the touch, hold on a little bit longer.
Time is not everyone’s buddy and people hardly care for chronology. When you stop going out with random people and take your time to find the right one, you can gather the courage to invest in yourself properly again.
Sometimes delicate moves are heart-winning. You don’t have to take a leap of faith every time. Let them earn your trust slowly. You can start as strangers and move on as companions who share stories and experiences and finally decide to date each other.
#4 Work on your hobby
When you keep yourself busy with the things you like doing, you make your work not money oriented but purposeful at the core. When you make your hobby your passion, eventually you learn to inculcate it in the mainstream of your work life.
We feel that our work and our hobbies are opposites but it doesn’t need to be. You can always find a way to make money by doing things that you like. The right person will understand the things that bring you happiness and help you to pave your path toward them.
You don’t always have to work on things to make it larger than life. Sometimes the right stroke of paint stands out boldly. Your right one would know what is best for you but before that, you must acknowledge your potential.
#5 Be more social
To find the right catch, you need to be more social and outgoing. You won’t meet as many people staying indoors as you will come across outdoors. Being social is not as much of a challenge as it might feel initially.
You can use the good help of your friends here. They will take you to parties and introduce you to people with whom you can go to gala. Don’t take the constant burden of wanting to find a date. The right one will find you. It might sound too good to be true but that’s how most good stories are.
#6 Travel to new places
Traveling to new places solo or in a group will help you clear your mind. This should top your list. It will enable you to prioritize yourself before others.
You would automatically know what you want from life. You will be able to retrospect and ascertain where and when things went wrong, you would know by heart what things to avoid.
Such clarity will clear your mind. You won't regret your choices because you have studied the consequences. Life-learning lessons don't come easy to us. We always have to pay a price for them.
#7 Learn to dance
Dance and music are something that brings harmony. While singing might not come easy to everyone, dancing does. Just swinging to delight yourself will make you your soulmate.
The desire to find another will vanish away. The best part is that you will be cheerful and happy. If you want to make your ex and all those who doubted you jealous, you can upload photos and reels about it.
If you want to keep it low-key, do so. It will be your thing and the difference will radiate on your face. You will be a happy charming soul and naturally, you will attract only positivity.
#8 Try something new
Try something new like cooking, baking, arts, craft, diving, surfing, martial arts, petting, growing plants, something that you have never done before.
This will renew your interest in living. It will also distract you from things that let you down. You will boost with radiance and freshness. It will help you in enhancing positivity.
#9 See the brighter side
Appreciation is important. Look at the brighter side of everything. Had you not broken up with your ex, you wouldn't have got this time to spend with yourself. You can utilize this time to meditate, introspect and focus. It will help you to channelize your thoughts with a dose of dopamine. You will laugh out loud at everything that tries to pull you down next time.
#10 Be happy
Being yourself and staying content with yourself should be your first goal. When you are your person, happiness will come running at you.
When you make up your mind to stay happy no matter what might happen, you will find a good number of reasons to store happiness.
You don't have to try to get attracted to others after you have had a breakup. It is okay to take things slow. Breathe, meditate, dance, and spend more time in recreation. It will calm you down, help you overcome your past, clear your thoughts and prepare you for the next chapter.