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When Do Dumpers Realize They Made A Mistake? [ANSWERED]

There is no specific time when a dumper will realize their mistake since all relationships have unique issues and reasons for a breakup. But, when the dumper wrongfully breaks up, they come back within a month. Some dumpers may take even six months to realize their mistake. However, in a few cases, the dumper realizes their mistake but never attempts to return. Featured Image of When Do Dumpers Realize They Made A Mistake

What does everyone fear in any relationship? The answer is simple and known to all. It's the breakup. The moment your partner texts you in the middle of the day and says, "I need to talk to you,"- what's the first thing that comes to mind? Certainly, your partner now wants to end the relationship. 

While every couple dreams of a "happily ever after" with their significant other, sometimes they have to go their separate ways. After all, we must agree that not all love stories are fairy tales. However, there are relationships where couples make a mutual decision. They feel that their relationship has no future. Usually, these couples do not end on a bitter end. Even some remain friends. 

But, again, mutual breakups are not so common. Mostly couples who go through bad breakups involve a dumper. And the dumpee is always the one who is hurt the most. The dumpers do not even feel the need for a proper conversation or they don't even listen to their partner. They just throw their decision upon their partner, and the partner is left all alone suddenly. 

There is one question that keeps coming back. Does the dumper ever realize the mistake? Or even if they do, when do they realize their mistake? Do they take forever, or do they realize immediately that they have made a mistake? 

In a situation like this, not just the time matter, but why and how the dumper realized the mistake also plays a big role. When the dumper wants you, you want them to return to you. But not always make an effort to come back on their own. Sometimes they wait for you to make a gesture, and then only they come out of their ego and try to find a solution. 

Reasons for the dumper to realize they made a mistake

If a dumper decides to end a relationship, why does he need to rethink his decision again? Well, in relationships, you never know what can trigger another thing. Perhaps it was an impulsive decision for the dumper, and later on, they realized they had committed a huge mistake. 

Let's have a look at the reasons for the dumper to realize they made a mistake

#1 Dumper was testing you

Well, if you are in a relationship where your partner needs to dump you to test whether you come back or not, then it's not a healthy sign. The dumper feels insecure about the relationship, and you will notice that he fights over petty issues. 

He does not truly want to end the relationship, yet he wants to check your commitment and love for him. So, he suddenly breaks up, hoping you will beg him to stay. However, if you have been bearing his tantrums for a long and feel that it's high time he stops doing all these, you might not contact him after the breakup. 

So, when he sees that is no response from you, he will automatically be in touch with you. He will realize that he has made a mistake and this is not the right way to treat you. 

#2 Dumper understands his fault

Dumpers tend to blame their partner instead of acknowledging their mistake. So, if you used to point out his mistakes, you would see every time he would move in your direction. 

And when these dumpers break up, they always say that you are the reason they are breaking up. However, after spending some time alone, they finally understand that they have been doing the wrong things. They realize they made you suffer because of their ego problems and other characteristics. It was them who were never ready to accept the mistake. 

But as time passed and they spent some time alone, they understood their mistake. And that's when they start missing you too and feel sorry for their mistake. 

#3 Dumper feels lonely

While the dumper may feel quite powerful initially because they were the ones who dumped you, slowly, the feelings start to change. Dumpers, in most cases, are quite self-centered. They feel they have the right to dump someone, but they are so good that no one can ever dump them. 

So, even with the slightest problem, they would start threatening you with breaking up, and they dump you whenever there is a bigger issue. They feel it's their right to dump you because you are always at fault, and they are the best person on the earth. 

But as soon as his ego dies and he feels the need for you again, he realizes he has made a big mistake. He starts to feel lonely, and since dumpers of this nature always seek attention, they feel even lonelier. If they make a call to reconcile with you, it's mostly to satisfy their own company and own feelings. They will once again start behaving like before very soon. 

#4 Dumper sees you with another guy

Is it even love if there is no jealousy? So, this was the dumper who could not stand you and felt that going separate ways was the best decision for both of you. But now he feels different. 

He dumped and thought you would be the one suffering for him, missing him and eventually begging him to come back. But his thoughts were crushed when he started seeing you with another guy. Perhaps, you did not move on. You just casually met one of your friends. However, that was enough for him to feel jealous as he could not accept that you could move on.

So, he realizes his mistake when he sees you enjoying yourself, or you have forgotten him. He feels that he probably should not have broken up with you, and even after he did, he must have been the one to apologize to you. 

#5 Dumper goes through an emotional change

When the dumper dumped you, he thought that he was doing it for the good of his own. He chose this decision to make himself happy and hope that perhaps there is someone better for him than you.

Time passed, and he even started seeing other people and meeting them. But he never found that spark in others that he could see in you. Gradually, he met many other people and started realizing that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. To get love and support like yours is impossible from these new people. 

So, he goes through an emotional change because his current relationships lack the warmth and love you once provided him, but he neglected it. This change occurred only when he saw himself with others and compared his past and present. 

#6 Dumper feels ignored

The dumper thought, like always, you will return to him once he dumps you. But you also have tolerated enough, and now it's time to make a call for yourself. So, you have gone missing in action and did not contact him. And that's what bothers him. 

He starts to feel hurt and betrayed when he sees you ignoring him and going on with your life. He wanted to get a lot of attention from you. He thought you would suffer, tried every possible means to make him come back, sent cards and chocolates, and put up emotional posts on social media. But in reality, nothing of those happened. He feels that he has taken a backseat in your heart, and you will soon move on. 

So, just when the ignorance and feeling of insignificance hit him, he realized his mistake. 

#7 Dumper faces rejection

The dumper dumped you hoping you would make a move to make things work again. However, you did not try from your end. Rather you were ready to accept the harsh truth and continue with life. 

But the dumper made a move and contacted you to sort things out. However, you said "no" to him this time, for which he was not prepared. He did not expect a rejection from you at all. So, once he got it, he realized he had made a mistake. 


My friend Erin and her boyfriend Noah had a relationship for three years. Noah was always the one who would break up with Erin even at the littlest inconvenience. Also, he was of controlling nature. Yet, Erin did not complain and tolerated all his tantrums. 

Once Noah suddenly dropped a bomb on her, saying, "I do not see a future in this relationship. It would be better if we just break up". And he was quite serious this time and stopped contacting Erin. But this time, Erin did not go back. She pulled herself back from this emotional trauma and decided to move on in her life. 

After a week, Noah started feeling lonely, and he contacted Erin with the expectation that everything would be normal again. He just dropped a text to her mentioning the time and location where he wanted to meet her. Once again he did not bother to ask Erin about her whereabouts or how she has been coping with this situation. 

Erin said a direct 'no', and Noah's world was shattered. For the first time, he faced rejection from the girl whom he loved once. And that's when he realized that he had committed a big mistake. 

#8 Dumper sees your love for him

Although you were dumped, you wanted to give your relationship one last shot. You contacted your dumper and found ways to sort things out. And your genuine effort and concern for your relationship positively impacted the dumper's heart. 

He realizes that he should not have dumped you because you genuinely love him, and he also loves you. It was an impulsive decision for which repent honestly. So, when you make a move, he feels that he can't think of his world without you. 

How to know if the dumper's realization is true?

Well, you might be in a perplexing place. At one moment, you will think this was the person who dumped me and now he has returned again after some time. Of course, his indecisiveness will raise questions in your mind about his integrity and honesty. 

So, how can you understand whether he is true in his intentions? 

  • He will make a move soon after he dumps you. Yes, he is not going to take forever to realize his mistake. If he genuinely loved you and broke up with you for a silly reason, he will return to you soon. 
  • He makes a consistent effort. He will not give up until you say 'yes' to meeting him to solve all issues. He will keep texting and calling you, hoping to meet you once. 
  • His actions are genuine. He is sending you apology cards; he is also listening to your side of the story about how you felt hurt and upset. He is not just coming back for the sake of a relationship but actually wants to mend things. 
  • He respects your time. He will understand your perspective if you feel it's too early to give this relationship another shot after being dumped by him. He will give you time and not disturb you until you make a move. 
  • He will take things slow. He knows he has made a mistake, and this time he doesn't want to mess up. So, he will take things slowly and steadily and focus on healthy relationships. 
  • He will correct himself. It was his wrong and impulsive decision to dump you. But as soon as he realizes his mistake, he will try not to make those mistakes again. He will truly work on his attitude and behavior. 

Will the dumper dump again?

It totally depends on his kind of person and how genuinely he is invested in this relationship. If he feels that it was a mistake on his part, he will not dump you again. Rather, he will change himself for the better and focus on making the relationship smooth again. 

However, if you find these signs in him, there are chances he will dump again.- Red Flags Alert.

  • He came back to you because he saw you enjoying your life without him. This is not a green flag in a relationship. He has come back to you because he felt jealous and not out of love. He could not stand the fact that you were able to move on with life without him. Once he returns, he will question you about the guys you met or why you chose to move on without them. He is not here to shower you with love. 
  • He sorted things with you because he felt lonely. Missing your partner and feeling lonely because there is no one to handle your tantrums are two different things; when you love your partner, you miss their presence and their influence on your life. But you need someone to be there for you when you feel lonely. So, if he has come back to you only to keep you in his company, you should think twice. 
  • He is behaving the same as before. Although he came back, there is no repentance in his behavior. He apologized for his mistake, but as you started making things normal, he again became toxic. 

Should the dumpee go back to the dumper?

Do you see genuine love and care for yourself in his eyes, feelings, emotions, and actions? Question yourself whether you will be able to go through the same phase again in your life. 

You don't want your relationship to become a battleground where one is dumping, and the other is chasing. 

So, ask yourself, do you see a future with this person? If there was love and compatibility between you two and he dumped you for a stupid reason, you may rethink giving him another chance. 

However, if you were in a toxic relationship and your relationship lacked the normal rhythm, and there were always fights, you may choose to stay alone. Time will help you to heal and find a better partner for yourself. 

Final words

Dumpers do realize their mistake sooner or later. However, when the dumper truly understands their mistake, they come back early, apologizing genuinely. 

Only get back to your old relationship if you feel that you two can build something together and stay strong despite all difficulties. 

Ahiri Chakraborty

Senior Writer

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