RelationshipExplained Logo

When a Guy Says He Wants You (Meaning & How To Respond)

It suggests that the guy wants you to take control of him. He would readily allow you to dominate over him. This happens when the guy is so much into you that he cannot think of anything else. Featured Image of When a Guy Says He Wants You

When someone is dating you or crushing on you so much that you are always on their mind, their hormone balance might surge, and they may tell you or text you on a random night that they want you. While the explicit meaning is that they desire you, it carries other connotations. 

Read this blog post to find out what it means when a guy tells you that he wants you and how you should reply to it. 

Reasons why a guy says he wants you 

The foremost reason is that he desires you. There is nothing at that moment that he wants more than you. However, depending on how long you have been dating each other, the factors can differ. Keep reading below to know more. 

#1 He likes you 

The guy has a liking for you. The guy would not express his wish to want you if he didn’t have a passion for you. What you need to figure out at this point is how lasting this passion might be.

It is possible that the guy is merely obsessed with you, which has made him so hot for you that he tells you he likes you. Test the consistency of the guy. 

When you don't reciprocate the love, does he stay a while longer in the hope of reciprocation? Is he happy to keep it one-sided? Such questions will lead you to his honest feelings and intentions.

#2 He wants you to take him seriously 

If the guy has been trying to hit on you for a long time, he is your best friend or your boyfriend towards whom you have been negligent; in a fit of anger, he might ask you to take him seriously.

Questioning you about what you want from him is a way of telling you that you are sending mixed signals, making him uncomfortable. The puncturing questions have a purpose. Try to follow the lead, and you will uncover the deep secrets of an unforgiving heart.

#3 He wants to see your reaction 

Perhaps the guy is merely testing you. It could be either that the guy feels strongly for you or that he doesn’t feel for you at all. In either case, the guy wants to examine your feelings for him.

Sometimes, we want to make something work even if we might not feel the same way about it. It feels good to be loved and appreciated. It is heartbreaking to feel discarded when you love and appreciate others.

The guy is perhaps trying to figure out where he stands with you. If his questions alarm, disturbs, or leave you blank, both of you are certainly in two different chapters of life. Whereas, if you have a well-prepared answer in your mind, it will send the message that you have been waiting for this moment all your life. 

#4 He is horny 

It is not the rarest possibility that the guy is horny and s*cks at flirting. He is trying to hit on you to see if you would want to get laid with him, but his choice of words isn’t very accurate.

You need to understand his body language and take clues from there. 

If he is smiling or shying while asking you this, he has a thing for you. If he is aggressive or trying to challenge you, he doesn’t like you well enough, and you might unconsciously have become the source of problems in his personal life.

Our interactions and behavior are taken differently by different people. While you might have tried to be friendly or cordial with the guy, his jealous girlfriend might have objected strongly. The guy might have been in trouble without asking for it.

He is perhaps asking you this to either avoid problems in his personal life or to estimate whether he has a chance to get lucky with you. If you feel horny for him, he might cheat on his girlfriend to get laid with you. You are risking too much here. 

He might not dump her girlfriend to take you as a partner. Moreover, it might not be worth it when you can’t acknowledge your feelings. It is advisable to wait for the right time to do things.

#5 You throw tantrums:  

If the guy has been persistent in his attempts to stay close to you, but you have kept him hanging around without giving him any access to get close and personal with you, the lack of sentimentality might be too much to bear. 

He might take it that you are too childish as you throw tantrums and run away from your raw feelings. He might want wholehearted indulgence with you. Your tendency to keep him at bay while keeping him hooked with you is making him feel used. 

Suppose you have been doing it unintentionally; clear as clear things out for your sake. If you have been doing things deliberately, it is high time you bring the guy some respite.

#6 You are dating his best friend 

If you are dating his best friend while you have a soft corner for him, that is, if you defend or oppose your boyfriend to take his side, or you are readily available to help or accompany him round the clock, he might get confused. 

He suspects you are nice to him because he is your boyfriend’s best friend or because you are genuinely interested in him. If you feel you might have unholy or adulterated feelings for this guy because he is either more attractive than your boyfriend or understands you the way your boyfriend fails to do, you need to confront your feelings.

Before making any decision, be certain if you dump your boyfriend for his best friend, he will take you. These things are the most complicated. Remember the episode of Manifest where Jade and Michaela love one another but take some extra time in their hand because Victoria Cartagena was their mutual friend and in love with Jade?

Hence, even if you both want to take it forward, you cannot blow away your boyfriend with a double displacement of losing his girlfriend and best friend in one stroke. Buying time will be a good decision for both of you. Moreover, it will be unfair to continue the relationship with your boyfriend if you do not love him.

#7 You are his girlfriend’s best friend 

If you are the guy’s best friend and the guy has an understanding that you interfere in his love life by providing an unfavorable opinion to his girlfriend in his regard, he might take that to be a grave concern. 

A guy’s dangerous enemy is his girlfriend’s best friend. He realizes the necessity of keeping not only his girlfriend but also the girlfriend's friend happy. 

In this context, the clause "I want you" could mean that he needs you to be on his side. To keep his girlfriend happy, he needs to thrive in your good books.

However, it could also mean that he has a thing for you. Though he is with his girlfriend, he yearns for you. It could be either because he finds you attractive or emotionally compatible. 

Remember, dating your best friend's boyfriend will make you infamous. The option is doable if your best friend breaks up with the guy without you playing a hand in it.

#8 You are popular 

Every guy dreams of dating the popular girl of the town. If you are one, overly extroverted, you have millions of followers on Instagram, you are an influencer, you have a great network and resources, and any guy on earth would want you.

But not every guy can spell out their wants to you. This is done only when the guy is confident that he is worthy of you. It implies that he is either popular, too, or he is the rich kid looking for candy. 

If you decide to date him, be certain of his intentions. Does he want a playmate or he holds a genuine interest in you? What kind of treatment are you seeking to help you understand and handle the situation better?

#9 You are desirable. You have the perfect figure 

When you have the perfect figure, the guy might be hot for you. He is hitting on you. If you ask him why he might say he finds you attractive. Such situations are nothing to sweat on. These are simple cases where you have to choose between whether you want to do something with the guy in a way that he might openly use your name as his correspondence and keep your phone number at the top of his list of favorites. 

An attractive woman should look for an equally handsome guy, or such is what society says. However, matters of the heart are delicate, and even if the world fails to find the guy handsome, there might be something about him that might strike you hard enough to take him to your bed. Always pay special attention to how a guy is treating you. At the end of the day, when there is darkness, and you need to hold someone’s hand or lean on someone’s shoulders, it is the integrity of the character that matters.

#10 He needs you as a friend 

Perhaps you are overanalyzing the situation, and the guy needs you to be with him as a friend. It could be because he is feeling low, he is heartbroken, he had a recent argument, or he is having nightmares.

You must be supportive. It need not take any other form, for the bond of friendship is the best relationship one can have and the other can receive. Being a friend would mean wiping off his tears, allowing him to vent out, being patient, learning to be a good listener, and trying your best to put a smile on his face. 

Most of the time, a guy fails to get these from either his girlfriend or his family. These are the intricacies of friendship. Be gentle and take your time to understand where the guy is trying to lead you.

#11 He wants to date you 

If you have been bonding along great as best of friends, it won’t be too shocking if the guy starts catching feelings for you. It is the human tendency to fall in love with what comforts them. When you become the definition of comfort for someone, they would fear to let you go. 

Sometimes, this fear urges them to make the bond permanent. However, it is not always that the true source of the bond is love. It could be fear. And when it is fear, the tendency to be vulnerable is at its peak. 

You will have to be round the clock available. If you change your personality while dating him, he will not like it. Moreover, friendship and relationship, while complementary and co-dependent, might not be coinciding. The urge to be romantic with someone is somewhat different. 

Before making your call, know what your heart wants. If your heart wants him, there is no need to worry. You will not only make it through but ace at it. Whereas, if your heart fails to beat, you will have to be very polite with him lest you might be the reason for your best friend’s heartbreak.

#12 He wants you to be on his team 

It is an incomplete sentence and can carry innumerable predicates. Remember the movie Crazy, Stupid Love? Emma Stone thought the guy would propose to her, but he came up with a business proposal. She was heartbroken, and the guy couldn’t understand why she was hurt. Hence, it is important to ensure that you are on the same page. 

If you have been dreaming or longing for the guy, make it known. Besides, if you have a time commitment, that is, if you are not ready to wait to mull his thoughts for a very long time, tell him that too. It is always advisable, wise, and agreeable to convey all your wants and needs along with terms and conditions to the person you hold feelings for. In that way, you will have no room for confusion or regret.

What to do when a guy says he wants you?

Try to understand the guy’s motive and articulate your answer based on your liking or disliking for the guy. I’ve curated the prompts and responses below that will help you to make the right decision and make an appropriate reply in the given situation. 

If you like him 

When you like the guy, you might be inclined to tell him that you want him to. This can hold, more so if you have been wanting him or waiting for him to long for you the way you have been longing for him. However, this might not be a fit reply if you have not known each other for a long time.

Read below to find out how to curate your reply based on the period you have known each other, among other factors.

#1 You are best friends 

When your best friend tells you that he wants you, it is not a lukewarm statement. He has made a declaration, and he means it wholeheartedly. 

Since you are best friends with him, it implies that you have known each other for a long time. It also implies that you are comfortable with him. You must use this opportunity to talk your heart out. 

No need to hesitate when conversing with your best friend, even if he proposes. You should understand that it is natural. Moreover, he wouldn't have proposed to you if you weren't single or not happily mingling.

If you have always wanted to date your best friend but could not open up to him before, perhaps because he was committed or you were in an awful relationship, this is your time. 

If you never thought your best friend to be your boyfriend, perhaps it is time to consider it a possibility. Ask yourself, could anything be more beautiful than this?

Your reply should be yes if you are keen on it. If the idea is not comfortable due to sound reasons, that could be because you are changing cities or you are from different culture, and you don't want to date outside your community. 

Either way, don't give a prompt reply. Take your time. An impromptu reply would make haste in making decisions. It would show that you have been spontaneous rather than thoughtful. Remember, it is your best friend we are talking about. He doesn't want the love and romance or the lack of it to be a frivolous outcome.

#2 You are friends 

When you had friends zoned each other initially, but the guy caught feelings for you eventually, there is potential in the proposal. Don't hesitate to ask him why he had friend zoned you first. 

If his answer gives clarity, you feel that he isn't making the whole thing up, and his intentions are fair, you will become comfortable sharing your feelings with him. 

Clarity fosters comfort and makes the process convenient. Since you already like him, perhaps you too decided to be friends to understand him inside out before deciding to date. 

He can have similar grounds. Nothing is more delightful than dating someone who shares your wavelength and the chapter of their life with you. You can woo each other slowly, and it hich can be the most romantic relationship you have ever been in

#3 You are colleagues 

If you are colleagues and like each other, it is more of attraction than hardcore affection. The surface is warm, and the scope is good. 

However, dating a colleague is always dicey, for if it falls, it can jeopardize your career. Moreover, dating a colleague will involve its share of gossip and jealousy. 

You will become the talk of your company. They can look up to you or envy you. If there's another guy with the same feelings for you, but you choose this one. Instead, it will make them rivals and breed animosity.

Hence, you must keep your relationship private and not rush into making it official at once. Taking due time to know each other is advisable. Once you find yourselves comfortable in each other's skin, you decide to switch to life; that is when you make it official.

#4 You are a friend of friends 

When you are not directly connected, but there is a liking for one another, it can be more infatuation than love. This could thereby explain the words "I want you" rather than "I love you" or "I need you."

The admirable quality of this declaration is his honesty. He is uttering the truth about what he feels for you and how he wants you. Since you like him, going out with him would be appropriate. 

Try not to keep your friends in between. It would be immature to want to make the mutual friend play a role here. The role that the mutual had to play has been played by them unconsciously. 

Make your calls and give it a try. You can continue the engagement or dismiss it the way it proceeds. However, in either case, keep it clear. 

#5 You are strangers 

If you had hopped upon each other on social media, dating apps, or nightclubs, you would be called strangers. Beginning to date a stranger without taking time to familiarize ourselves more with one another would be unwise and desperate. 

Unless you are fine with giving the impression that you are interested in sleeping over with the guy and don't care for the relationship's longevity, perhaps go on a few dates with the guy first. 

It would allow you to develop a more intimate relationship rather than leaving it open-ended. You will also understand the desire and intent of the guy when you talk things out with him.

#6 He is your boyfriend’s best friend 

When your boyfriend's best friend approaches you, and you have had a romantic inclination towards him, try not to affirm it before him at once lest neither of you will be able to handle the situation properly.

You need to understand whether your boyfriend's best friend wants to be in a relationship with you. Ask him outright the meaning of his declaration.

If you both want the same thing, you will be able to figure out a way to come around with your boyfriend. You will have to make him understand that staying with him will cost three people's happiness. 

Moreover, he deserves to be with someone who appreciates him more and can love him honestly. 

#7 He is your brother’s best friend 

There is nothing more interesting than dating your brother's best friend. Your brother might initially feel awkward to be around both of you like Ross did in FRIENDS when he discovered that Monica and Chandler were dating.

Hence, when you initiate the relationship, you should take your brother in confidence to avoid awkwardness and confusion. Moreover, your brother would be more protective towards you, and his best friend would know not to toy with your heart or take you for granted. 

It would be like an extended family thing together. All of you will be merry and go on dates with your brother and his girlfriend. 

If you don’t like him 

When you don’t like a guy who steps forward and tells you that he wants you, perhaps as a friend, partner, or team member, the first instinct will tell you to put them down in the face. However, this should be your last step. It is impolite and discourteous.

Read below to find out what are how you can handle the situation skilfully when a guy you dislike tells you that he wants you.

#1 Don’t humor him 

When you don't like someone, and they approach you, it is wise not to engage with them. When you interact with or consider their request or demand, they think they stand a chance. 

Giving false hopes is not recommended. Never lead someone into loving you unnecessarily. One-sided love is painful to deal with. 

If the person is a stranger, indifference can be the right treatment. However, if you feel it is too cold, opt for other options discussed below.

#2 Politely make an excuse 

Rather than humoring or interacting, make an excuse and take a leave. Even if it is the chat window and you were starting to have the conversation, but it took an awkward turn, you don't have to reply. Instead, buy yourself time by making an excuse. 

This tactic is for those who don't know their heart yet. If you don't hate the guy, being polite is the least you can do.

#3 Tell him about your boyfriend 

When a guy is after you and you want to get rid of him but ignoring him is not working out, you can tell him or introduce him to your boyfriend.

In case you don't have one, you can ask your friend for help by enacting as your boyfriend before this obsessed guy. 

#4 Tell him you are not interested 

Nothing is better than turning down the proposal once you are certain. You can tell him that you are not interested. If he keeps on insisting, then you can tell the reasons why you don't find him interesting. 

Even if he chooses to keep on flattering you, explain to him you are neither looking for a hookup nor a relationship owing to other commitments, which could be either work-related or domestic.

#5 Don’t overthink 

Overthinking will do you no good. Sometimes the best way out is to let the situation be. Allowing it to get the better of you will cause unnecessary trouble.

Remember, it's all in your mind. If you can control your thoughts, you will never be miserable. Having patience and waiting for an explanation in due time will come to you naturally. 

Summing Up 

When a guy tells you he wants you, take it as a compliment. You need not give a reaction in every situation. Sometimes it feels good to enjoy as long as it is harmless. If you don't want the guy the way he does, don't keep him dangling about you. Learn to communicate your thoughts.

Suprity Acharyya


Coming Up Next