When a Guy Asks About Your Family and Wants to Meet ThemWhen a guy asks about your family and wants to meet them, it means he is getting serious about the relationship and wants to know about your folk. If you are already in a serious relationship, his urge to meet your family could be a sign of an upcoming proposal.
Families are an important part of most people's lives. They are important for a person's upbringing. A family shapes a person's personality.
Your family may or may not be important to you, but they are an undeniable part of your being. You might not feel the urge to include your family in your life and decisions, but the guy you are dating might feel differently.
No two people are the same. While you are reluctant about your family, your boyfriend is too attached to his. The love for his family makes him want to meet yours. He wants to know where you came from.
10 Possible reasons why he asks about your family and wants to meet them
Your question can have multiple answers based on how serious you guys are about this relationship. The most common answer that comes to mind when someone asks this question is that the guy is getting serious about you, and therefore this is no longer a passing fling.
Let's explore more reasons why he would want to meet your family. Read on.
#1 He is getting serious about you
You guys started casually, but things are getting serious now. You might be in the casual phase, but he has just taken a step ahead and wants something more than just a passing fling.
He wants to meet your family because he feels it is important for them to know him. He thinks he plays a pretty important part in your life.
#2 He is a sensitive person
Friends and families are important to him. He can't function without either. He is a sensitive person who constantly needs to be around people who are close to him.
If you observe him carefully, you will find him clinging to you emotionally. His very nature attracts him to your family. He wants to be closer to you, and for that, he thinks meeting your family is the best thing he can do.
You are an independent person who can function alone, without your family and friends constantly interfering in your life. That is not the case with him. He can't function solo. He needs this constant assurance from someone close. Maybe that's why he always seems like he is expecting praise from you, even for the most trivial matters.
#3 He grew up an orphan
Growing up, he never had a family. He was an orphan who started in an orphanage and went from one foster home to another. He never accepted any of them as his true family. He never felt close to anyone until he met you.
He listened to the stories from your childhood and instantly fell in love with the idea of a family, and that's why he wants to meet your folk. To him, they are like favorite storybook characters that have come alive.
He wants to meet them because he needs to experience what it feels like to be part of a real family. He knows you have loving parents, and he craves that love.
#4 He had a dysfunctional family
He had a dysfunctional family growing up. Therefore, all he ever wanted was to be part of a real family that sat together to have dinner once in a while.
He never tasted turkey on Thanksgiving and never had gifts from Santa Claus on Christmas. He had lonely Halloweens and forgotten birthdays.
He had quarrelsome parents and an old dog for a family, and that is probably the reason why he is trying so hard to meet yours. He is inadvertently latching on to the perfect family you have.
#5 He is curious about your family
He has heard so much about your family from you and your common friends. He is intrigued, and that's why he wants to meet them. This can happen particularly when you have an interesting family.
What's that like? Well, he will get interested if your parents have cool jobs or if they have a great house that is not like most other people. For example, if you tell him that the house you grew up in was haunted, he will definitely want to visit it. Meeting your family will, therefore, be a definite way to step into your house.
#6 He loves meeting new people
He is adventurous and loves meeting new people every now and then. Your family is like strangers to him, and that is why he is so eager to meet them. He wants to learn more about their life, jobs, and the town they live in.
This happens especially when you are from a remote or lesser-known part of the country. If you have spoken to him about the cultural differences your people have from the rest of the country, he will be intrigued to visit them.
He loves spending time with new people in new places. He wants to experience life in a strange town where he knows no one. That is kind of like a hobby for him. He might even make videos for TikTok or YouTube while he spends time with your folks in your hometown. For him, it will be like a vacation.
#7 He is going to propose
Now, this may or may not freak you out. He wants to meet your family probably because he is going to ask you to marry him.
He wants to talk to them about the proposal first, and he needs to do that in person. He will never tell you anything about the proposal, however. It is up to you to find out.
Chances are there that your family already has a hint about what's going on in his mind, and he has their support. It's only a matter of a few days for him to pop the big question.
#8 He wants to find the root of your problems
Families shape us. They build a part of our personality. Our tastes, habits, and fears are heavily influenced by the time we have spent with our family.
He knows you have certain issues that need immediate address. To address your problems, he needs to know where they came from and whether they are hereditary or not.
Your boyfriend is concerned about you, and that is a good thing. He wants to meet your family to know more about them and your childhood days spent under their care. He needs to know your medical history in order to help you in the right way.
#9 He wants to visit your hometown
He has heard a lot about your hometown from you, and now he wants to visit the place. He told you that he wants to meet your family, but that is the only way for him to explore your quaint little town.
This happens when you advertise your town in a great light. Of course, your town needs to be actually beautiful. He will definitely want to visit if it is a place like Shelburne or Ludlow in Vermont.
If he is an orophile (a person who loves mountains), he will try to convince you in every way to visit your place together. It's not just about mountains. If he is a hodophile (a person who loves to travel) in general, there is no way to stop him from visiting a scenic place, even if it leads to an awkward meeting with your family.
#10 He wants to do a background check
He knows nothing about you. Clearly, he wants to know more about the person he is dating. Who knows you better than your family? That is why he wants to meet them.
He wants to know more about your family to gather more information about you. You have never said anything to him about your growing-up years. You are an enigma to him. You came into his life out of nowhere.
Along with that, you are also pretty weird, like Phoebe from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. He wants to know what makes you behave like that. He is confused about whether you are good or evil as he knows nothing about your past.
What to do when a guy asks about your family and wants to meet them?
You might or might not freak out when he says, "I want to meet your folks." But you are definitely uncomfortable about his wish. That is why you came looking for reasons and solutions here.
You can either handle the situation with grace, or you can gamble your relationship by being extremely straightforward about the fact that he is making you uncomfortable with his sudden demand to meet your family.
Let's explore what you can do in situations like this. Scroll down.
Things to do when you don't want him to meet your family:
#1 Say that you are not ready to introduce him to your family
You are uncomfortable about the idea of him meeting your family. Have a clear conversation about that with him. He needs to know about your discomfort and that this is not the right time to meet your family.
You can try to say the following things:
- "I don't think this is a good idea."
- "I don't feel comfortable about you meeting them now."
- "I don't think we have reached that stage in our relationship where we can introduce each other to our families."
- "It freaks me out when you say things like this."
- "I think we should take it slow."
#2 Say that your family can be hostile towards new people
The people in your family are not particularly friendly. They can be extremely hostile toward new people, and he needs to know that before he decides to meet them. Try to make him understand that meeting your family is a bad idea.
If words don't help, stop trying to convince him. Instead, make him watch movies like Get Out and Ready or Not. If he is smart enough, he will stop pestering you at once.
Tell him you have a big family just like the one Marshall Eriksen had in How I Met Your Mother. You can also mention how your family roasted your ex-boyfriends when they were visiting your place.
#3 Say that you are not in touch with your family
This is going to be easy if you are actually not in touch with your family. However, if you have to lie about this, lie in a convincing manner. The job is to keep him away from your family, and you need to accomplish that at any cost.
You can share the reason why you don't talk to them anymore. Make him realize that you stay away from your family for your mental peace. Reconnecting with them might cause you discomfort, which in turn will damage months of progress in terms of mental health.
#4 Tell him scary stories about your family
Now, this is a bit difficult, but it is doable. Tell him scary stories about your family members. The stories can be about their character traits. You can even include supernatural elements to scare him away.
Here are a few ideas to start with:
- "My family owns a funeral home. I have seen inexplicable things at night."
- "My dad once took one of my ex-boyfriends on a 4-days fishing trip." (especially for guys who prefer to stay indoors)
- "We have pet snakes back at home." (for guys with herpetophobia)
- "Our house is placed on the top of a hill. It is a steep hike."
Things to do when you are a bit skeptical about him meeting your family:
#1 Ask him why he wants to meet them
Ask him why he is so eager to meet your folks. He must have a good reason for his wish. If he answers in a convincing way, you can consider taking him to your hometown to meet your family.
You need to check whether he is serious about meeting your family or not. You can't just take anyone to meet your parents. See if he is really into you. That way, you will know whether he is worth taking there or not.
#2 Tell him that you want to meet his family first
If you are not sure about his intentions, ask him to meet his family first. If he refuses, you already have your answer. He should be okay with you visiting his family when he demands the same from you.
He doesn't have to take you to meet his family right away. He just needs to answer your question satisfactorily.
This is a pretty serious situation. The relationship is no longer in a breezy state. If you have to take him to meet your family, you should be sure about the fact that he will do the same anytime you want. Otherwise, be sure he is trying to hide something from you.
#3 If he wants a road trip, take him somewhere else
If his answers to your "why" questions are not satisfactory, meeting your family might not be a priority for him. He just wants to take a break from the busy work life and travel to a lesser-known place.
Say, "Instead of meddling in family matters, we can take a road trip to somewhere else." Visit the nearest beach this weekend or hike through the woodlands. Meeting the partner's family is not something to do when one feels bored. Try to make him realize that.
Things to do when you want him to meet your family:
#1 Take him to meet your family
If you think he is the right person for you and that he is serious about his commitments, you can take him to meet your family. Before taking a few days off to visit your hometown, talk to him about why he wants to meet them. That conversation will bring you the answers.
However, if you have a cool family who is fine with whomever you are dating, you can take him to meet them without questions and conditions (even if he is an explorer who just wants to roam around your town).
#2 Ask your family to behave nicely with him
Your family is judgmental about every new thing that comes their way. Before you visit them with your boyfriend, call them up and ask them to be nice to him (especially if he is a sensitive person who is in need of love and care).
Tell them what your boyfriend is like and why he wants to meet them. Ask them to be on their best behavior. Remind them how they bullied your ex, which led to your break up. Assert that it shouldn't happen again.
#3 Ask him to be on his best behavior
If you have doubts about how he will present himself in front of your family, ask him to be on his best behavior. You need to say this, especially when you know that he is a bit like Sheldon Cooper when it comes to relationships. Tell him not to say things that might embarrass you or your family in any way.
Give them a crash course on your family. If your parents are against smoking and he is a chain smoker, ask him to cease smoking for a few days or hide it well. Making is good first impression is important if he is serious about his relationship with you.
To sum up
The guy you are dating is either a very sensitive person who loves the concept of a family and unbreakable bonds. It is not a crime to be a person like this. However, if you are not yet comfortable taking him to your family home, you can discuss that with him.
A mature conversation about what you want and what you don't will bring you closer to him. This situation needs to be dealt with with a lot of care as it directly involves the emotional side of the person you are dating.