What Does It Mean When a Girl Runs Her Fingers Through Your Hair?

You have been friends for a while, like Archie and Betty, when one day, while you sat beside her on the couch, she started running her fingers through your hair. Till now, she has never said anything about liking you or having a crush on you. But today, her behavior seems different.

If this ever happened to you, you have reached the right place with your questions. If you have known her for some time, a gesture like this will change the dynamics of the relationship you already have with her.

If you want to pursue this possible relationship, you will have to be very careful. One wrong step can lead to her getting hurt and the eventual destruction of this beautiful friendship.

Let’s explore the reasons why she does this and the ways you can act accordingly.

Why would she run her fingers through your hair?

She is comfortable around you. She feels closer to you with each passing day. That’s what makes her run her fingers through your hair, sometimes even unknowingly.

If she has known you for a while, she will not even recognize the romantic feelings she has acquired for you over the years. She will realize it in her own time.

There can be myriad other reasons for her behavior that ranges from liking your hair to being a weird psychopath. Read on and hope to find a suitable reason.

#1 She is comfortable around you

You have been a friend to her since childhood. It is only natural for her to be comfortable around you. When she runs her finger through your hair, she isn’t even aware of it.

She does it out of habit; it’s a reflex. Her mind says, “That’s what you are supposed to do when he sits beside you.”

If she is new to your life, running her fingers through your hair can still mean being comfortable. She sees you as a great friend and finds a possible companion in you.

Being comfortable around each other and being able to enjoy each other’s company is the most important base for a relationship. If you have that with her, she is probably the one. Do not let her go.

#2 She loves your hair

She simply loves your hair. This is a weirdly specific scenario. Your hair is probably different from the other guys she has dated so far.

It may be the texture of your hair she is interested in. The color of your hair can also be the cause for such a weird affection that leads her to run her fingers through your hair.

It can also be that she has a certain type of hair (say, for example, blonde and straight). She doesn’t like her hair like that. On the other hand, right in front of her, you have the hair she craves (say, for example, brownish and with light curls). She envies you.

She just can’t get enough of your beautiful hair. Maybe that is the reason why she is with you.

#3 She is in love with you (but won’t admit it)

Being in love and not being aware of that is a classic rom-com thing. She is in love with you but is totally unaware of her own feelings.

Her affection for you displays itself through her actions. She spends an awful lot of time with you. You are way closer than “just friends” are supposed to be.

When she runs her finger through your hair out of habit, it means she is attracted to you. Her comfort comes from there. She thinks you are a great guy, and while moving her fingers through your hair, she shares her secrets with you.

If you confront her about it, she is never going to admit it. Therefore, you should wait for her to realize her feelings for you.

#4 She is fidgety

She plays with everything she holds. She is fidgety. Your hair is just another plaything on her list.

If you observe carefully, you will find her playing with random things like earphone wires, leaves, pages of a book, her hoodie strings, and even shoelaces whenever she can.

Your hair is not special to her, except for the fact that you are the one who actually allows her to play with your hair, unlike all the other people who, for obvious reasons, don’t.

#5 She is not aware of what she is doing

You guys are entrapped in a deep conversation. While at it, you guys are unaware of what your hands are busy doing until you realize her fingers are entangled in your hair.

Even you are doing something like that. Maybe take a look at your hoodie string; you will find it has been chewed on. You did it.

Similarly, this girl you are talking about is keeping her hands busy while talking. This is a common human behavior. We all do that.

#6 She has always done this with your hair since childhood

She doesn’t have to be romantically inclined towards you. She runs her finger through your hair because that is what she has done since childhood.

Back then, she used to do it just to annoy you and make you cry. Childhood is over, but habits seldom die. She still loves doing that, probably because it makes you mad.

She loves to pull your leg. The angry expression on your face is her reward. She is not a bad person. She probably is your best friend in the world, and this hair mischief is that one special thing you share with her.

You have myriad memories related to this habit of hers, and when you grow old, this fond memory is something that will make you laugh heartily.

#7 She is trying to seduce you

She is running her fingers through your hair because she is trying to seduce you. She is attracted to you and has tried a lot of activities to catch your attention. Every time, she has failed at it, with zero reciprocation from you.

This time she has decided to get closer to you, literally. She runs her fingers through your hair because that way, you will not be able to ignore her anymore.

You will have to come up with a response now. She doesn’t care if it is positive or negative. She just wants an answer based on which she will be able to decide her next move.

#8 She is being weird

She is clearly weird. Now, this is a pretty uncommon scenario. Often, when someone runs their fingers through your hair, it can either translate to attraction or intentional irritation.

But if you get a weird vibe, it’s because she is probably going to do something bad with your hair. She is a psychopath who, for some old grudge, is here to disrupt your life by bringing a blow to your appearance.

Think about your past. What could you have done to annoy her so much? Don’t float on the cloud that makes you think she is in love with you. Have you ever been mean to her? Have you ever ghosted her?

If you find something like that, it’s bad news for you and your precious hair. Run from her as fast as you can and never let her come near your hair ever again. Also, go and apologize to her for what you have done. Maybe that will make her change her mind.

What will be your next step?

You like her, and you are positive about her feelings for you, but she won’t admit that she is in love with you. This is a very common scenario that has already been explored thousands of times in books, movies, and T.V. shows around the world.

If you want to initiate a relationship with her, you will need to let her understand her own feelings first, and that takes time. She runs her fingers through your hair but still thinks you guys are just friends. It will take time for her to realize the truth, and when that happens, you will have your fairy tale.

For now, let’s see what you can do to spur her realization. You have to be subtle. Any rash decision can bring more damage than you think. Read on.

#1 Drop hints about how much you like her

You like her, and you know she likes you too. The problem is that she has zero ideas about her feelings. Therefore, it is your responsibility to make her see that.

However, you will have to be subtle and stealthy when you do that. She still thinks you guys are just friends when her actions say otherwise.

She runs her fingers through your hair, unaware of her true feelings. You need to drop hints about your feelings for her. Suggest an activity that stands between the line that divides friendship and love. See how she reacts.

Say that you like a girl, and when she takes interest, describe that girl to her using her features and see if she gets that.

#2 Binge-watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S together

If none of that works, watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S with her. Especially the episodes featuring Monica and Chandler’s relationship. It is an immensely relatable show. If she is clever enough, she will get the hint.

Monica and Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S traveled a long way together. They were strangers to each other at first, then they became friends, and after dating a bunch of wrong people, they finally found each other.

If your story with this girl matches their story, then it will be an added advantage. Maybe she will run her fingers through your hair while you while watching it together. The show will definitely bring you closer.

#3 Take her to the café you guys used to visit as kids

When you have known each other for a while, there is nothing as good as a dose of well-brewed nostalgia. Visit your old memories with her. Take her to the café you used to visit as kids. There must be a place like Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe, the favorite haunt of the Archie gang.

Everyone has got a certain place in town that they can relate to. A place that is special and close to their hearts. It’s where they have made a lot of memories. You, too, must have such a place where you can take her to revisit your old memories.

When in the café, you can even order your old signature dishes and those bright pink strawberry milkshakes topped with vanilla ice cream and rainbow sprinkles.

#4 Play your favorite board game together

Back when you were kids, you used to visit each other’s houses. You played games. You two had your favorite board games, which are now stacked neatly in a wooden box somewhere in the attic.

Look for it, and when you find it, give her a call to invite her for an evening full of old board games and memories. Find your Stranger Things moment that night.

She runs her fingers through your hair clearly because she likes you. If you are lucky, this might be the evening she admits her true feelings for her. You two can end up with your first kiss if everything goes right.

#5 Subtly ask her how she feels about you

The next time she runs her fingers through your hair, ask her how she feels about you, but be subtle. She definitely likes you but cannot recognize her feelings for some unknown reason.

Asking her a relevant question will probably open up a way for her to think about the relationship you have. But, if you expect her to admit her feelings right at that moment, you might be calling a bit of disappointment upon yourself.

Let’s be patient and keep on trying until she understands the hints. A little bit of patience can go a long way here. Don’t scare her off by dropping a giant relationship bomb on her, and do not say the L-word.

#6 Reciprocate when she tries to seduce you

If she is trying to seduce you by running her fingers through your hair, you will know that. There is a huge difference between the unawareness of her true feelings and the I-need-you-right-now kind of people.

If you like this girl, reciprocate when she tries to seduce you. She is looking for a relationship with you and is clear about her intentions. She has got zero inhibitions and is not at all confused like the other scenarios we have talked about. She is basically the Veronica to your Archie.

She is a straightforward person who believes in actions more than words. If you are amazed by her, she is definitely the one for you, your soul mate. Go for this relationship; it might be the best decision you have ever taken in your life.

#7 Talk to her friends

If you are confused about what to do when she runs her fingers through your hair, you can go and talk to her friends. They will definitely know something about how she feels for you.

She doesn’t talk to you about how she feels, but she must have said something to someone. Talking to her friends will possibly fetch you some information.

She is not admitting her true feelings to you, maybe because she is afraid of jeopardizing the relationship you already have. She is scared of losing the friend she has in you.

If you get a positive answer from her friends, you can use that information to plan your next move. She is scared of asking you out; maybe you can ask her out instead.

#8 Take care of your hair; she loves it

She loves your hair. She loves the color and the texture. She envies you for that. Take care of your hair. She stays close to you because she finds you attractive. If you take a peek into her mind, you will probably find most of that comes from the awe she feels for your hair.

If you want to keep her in your life, you will have to ensure your hair is fine. This sounds a bit shallow, right. This will just be for a while. Once a few days have passed, you will know what kind of person she is.

One bad hair day for you will reveal the truth about her. Then you can make your final decision about this relationship.

Summing up

In situations like this, you need to have a little more patience than usual. This girl that you are talking about is in love with you but probably isn’t aware of that yet. She loves to run her fingers through your hair. That’s her way of showing affection.

You have to be careful if you want to be in a relationship with this person. You guys are already great together. Let’s keep that intact and work on making her realize her true feelings. And meanwhile, take care of your hair.