My Girlfriend Flirts With Other Guys Over Text (SOLVED)Your girlfriend flirts with other guys over texts probably because she is not as serious as you are about this relationship. Flirting with strange people is something she does purely for fun or attention. You can have a conversation with her about the situation and how it makes you uncomfortable.
You call her your “girlfriend.” Is she aware of that? Her activities suggest otherwise. It’s not that she doesn’t like you. She likes you, but she like a few other guys too. She wants to keep her options open, like that time when Phoebe dated two equally attractive men.
She is not as serious as you are about this relationship. It’s just the beginning. She needs time to settle. She needs you to give reasons for her to date you. You need to be better than all the other people she flirts with. Can you do that? If the answer is “yes,” your problem is solved. If it is a “no,” you have a long way to go. You can either stop trying or try to be the best of the lot.
I will help you understand her better. Let’s see why she does what she does and what you can do in a situation like this. Read on.
Ten possible reasons why your girlfriend flirts with other guys over text
Perfect relationships are not a myth, but they are hard to find. Your relationship is not perfect. She is clearly not on the same page as you are. She doesn’t think you guys are exclusive. In this case, your girlfriend is much like Joey in season four of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Joey dated other women while he dated Kathy. He said, “We are not exclusive.”
Not being exclusive is not a crime when you have just started dating. She wants to explore her options. She thinks she has not met “the one” yet. You guys have probably gone on five dates. That is barely a relationship. However, if you guys are in a long-term relationship when she does something like this, it is a matter of concern as it points towards cheating in a relationship.
But why would she do that? What makes her jeopardize a near-perfect relationship? Scroll down to read.
#1 She needs attention
Now, this can happen in two scenarios. They are:
- She needs attention from people outside her relationship – She constantly needs to be the center of attraction. She flirts with other guys over texts because she needs people to pay attention to her. She does this probably because she doesn’t get enough attention from you.
- She needs attention from you – She flirts with other guys over text because she knows that will be unsettling for you, and it is. She knew you would freak out over this. Your girlfriend loves you, but she needs more attention. She wants you to focus on her (something that you don’t often do). If you are reading this article, her plan has worked.
#2 She thinks you guys are not exclusive
She doesn’t feel the need to not flirt with people. She doesn’t think of her association with you as a legit relationship. For her, you are just another guy with whom she has gone on three dates. She is probably dating other people too. You just don’t know about it.
She does not think you guys are exclusive. That means she can have as many simultaneous affairs as she wants. Like Phoebe or Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, she likes to explore her options. She finds herself attracted to many people, including you. All she needs is to narrow down the one person who can potentially be “the one.”
#3 She checks her flirting skills occasionally
Flirting skills worsen when one is in a long-term relationship. Your girlfriend flirts with other guys over texts because she wants to know if her flirting skills are fine or not. You probably have nothing to worry about. This is a harmless thing she does to make herself feel happy or have fun.
However, there is a faint chance of her falling in love with one of the guys she flirts with. It will be a problem for you, but that’s quite unlikely. She likes you, and that’s the most important thing.
#4 She derives fun out of it
She finds it funny. She is in a relationship with you, yet she seems to flirt with random guys over texts all the time. This is because she has a pretty boring life and wants to have her share of fun like this. Even if her life is not that boring, she might do this just for the cheap thrills.
You don’t have much to worry about if this is just about the fun. She might, however, fall for someone else while at it, but that’s rare. She loves you, but she loves to have a laugh or two occasionally.
#5 She does this to make you jealous
She likes you but wants to make you jealous so that you want to be with her for longer periods of time. She flirts with other guys over texts to make you jealous. And see, her plan is working. It is like a piece of cake for her. You already feel jealous and are here looking for answers.
She wants to make you feel jealous, as that is the only way to make you want her more (that’s what she thinks). She is trying to ensure that you never leave her side out of the fear of losing her.
Through this flirting thing, she is trying to show you what she is still capable of. She can still entice a series of possible partners. She wants you to know that there will be no dearth of lovers for her if this relationship doesn’t work out well.
#6 She feels insecure
She does this out of insecurity. She needs attention from other guys because she wants to feel good about herself. Her insecurities never let her do that.
She thinks she doesn’t look pretty. The impossible beauty standards of this world make her think this way. You stopped calling her pretty when your relationship hit that two-year mark.
She still wants to hear good things about her. She needs that constant assurance to feel good about herself. This is how she functions. She gets a lot of flattering comments from the guys she flirts with. Their words make her feel beautiful and confident.
#7 She has no respect for you
She has no respect for you or this relationship. She has taken you for granted. Flirting with other guys is just another fun game for her. She doesn’t care about your feelings.
She likes you, and that is why she is still in this relationship. But that is not enough reason for her to stop flirting with other guys. She doesn’t realize that it is inappropriate to flirt with people when she is in a meaningful relationship
#8 She is not that serious about this relationship
She is not much serious about this relationship. She wouldn’t have flirted with other people if she was. She likes you, but that is not enough to stop her from flirting with random guys. She has been like this forever. Her shenanigans are probably harmless.
However, things can take a dark turn for you if she falls for one of the guys she flirts with. You will not have much to do then.
This relationship, for her, is like a passing fling. It is barely a relationship. She needs more time to come to terms with it.
#9 She wants to break up with you
She is flirting with other guys because she wants to break up with you. This relationship is not working out well for her. She wants to explore her options, and that’s why she is searching for potential partners.
She will break up with you sooner or later. She is just waiting to find the right kind of person. However, she won’t break up with you right away. What if she never finds a partner who is better than you? She has to keep you in her life in that case.
The entire relationship hinges on whether she finds a suitable partner or not. This is a complicated situation that calls for you to make a series of difficult choices and decisions.
#10 You did something similar
Did you flirt with someone too? If your answer is “yes,” she is doing this to get back at you. Try to remember the last time you harmlessly flirted with a person. She noticed that and decided to teach you a lesson. Your presence here in this article proves that she is pretty successful in her venture.
Flirting with other people while in a relationship is common, but that dangerously borders on falling for the person you are flirting with. That is what she was scared of, and that is when she decided to make you learn the lesson in the hardest way possible.
What to do when your girlfriend flirts with other guys over text?
There is not much you can do. Taking extreme steps will paint you in the wrong light and make you look creepy. The best way to deal with the situation is to have a polite conversation with her about the text flirting. Talk to her about your discomfort.
However, you can do a few unorthodox things to help yourself in this situation. Let’s find out what you can do. Keep reading.
#1 Give her the attention she deserves
Give her the attention she deserves by doing things that she would appreciate. The flirting with other guys thing was a tantrum she threw to get your attention. Now that you know her problem help her deal with it. You can do this much as her partner.
Here are a few things you can do:
- Take her to her favorite shopping destination
- Go on a vacation with her
- Cuddle up and binge-watch your favorite shows together
- Go on a fancy date
- Cook for her
- Get her the gadget she always wanted (if you could afford it)
#2 Talk about the nature of your relationship
Talk to her about where you are in this relationship. You guys need to be on the same page if you want to continue this relationship. You can try asking the following questions:
- Do you still love me?
- Do we have a future together?
- Where do you think this relationship is going?
- Are we making any progress?
- Are we not exclusive? Your actions seem to suggest otherwise.
- Is there anyone else in your life?
#3 Tell her how uncomfortable you feel about this
If you feel uncomfortable about the situation, talk to her about it. Tell her that this flirting thing is driving you crazy. You are freaking out. She would understand if she is even a little bit serious about this relationship.
Feeling uncomfortable about the situation is not strange. It is extremely normal for you not to be okay with this. A relationship needs both people to be responsible. Her flirting with other guys is a classic example of irresponsible behavior.
#4 Make her jealous by doing the same thing
If you don’t believe in “tit for tat,” this is the time to start believing in it. She made you jealous by flirting with other guys. You should do the same with her. Flirt with other girls in front of her. Do this even if you don’t want to. This way, she will learn a lesson about how to be in a serious relationship.
She needs to step into your shoes to see how wrong she is. If she gets jealous, your plan has worked, and she has probably started to understand her faults.
#5 Don’t get jealous
She wants you to get jealous. She flirts with other guys to show you how unattainable she is. She tries to make you realize how superior she is. Don’t get jealous, and her plans won’t work out.
I know not getting jealous is difficult. Be strong, and don’t say anything to her about the flirting thing. Let her do whatever she likes and get busy, or at least pretend to get busy, on things that don’t concern her. Stop including her in all your plans.
But while doing all this, never lose the smile on your face while talking to her. Be extra polite. Use nice words while you talk to her, even if it kills you to do so. She will be perplexed by this action and will try to have a conversation with you on this matter.
#6 Help her deal with the insecurities
You are her partner. You know her better than most people. Help her deal with their insecurities. She seeks attention because she feels insecure most of the time.
You can start with a bit of positivity. Assure her that she is the most beautiful person you have ever seen. Tell her how smart she is.
I know saying these things to a person might look and feel super awkward, but it would help her. She needs to feel loved, and this is how you can do it.
Make her feel like the most important person on the planet. Her tantrums and insecurities stem from unresolved mental health issues. Help her fight her problems.
#7 Find out whom she talks to and demean them
This is a petty move, but you can try it out when most other things have stopped working on her. Find out the guys she talks to. Find out their flaws and belittle them in front of her. It will be easier when you know you guys are not exclusive.
Say things that would make her detest these other guys. You might feel a little bad while saying bad things about people you don’t know. Remember, you need to do this if you love her and want to protect this relationship from falling apart.
If you guys are not exclusive, this will be your opportunity to seize the moment and make a strong move. Do something unusual along with demeaning her flings.
#8 Ask her if she is serious
You need to settle things once and for all. Ask her whether she is serious about you. A relationship can’t go on like this. She kind of disregards your existence the moment she starts flirting with other guys.
It is better to call quits than to be in a dead-end relationship. Ask her to evaluate your position in her life. If she doesn’t find a suitable answer, you can move on.
Stepping out of a relationship willingly is one of the most difficult tasks. In this case, it might get inevitable. You will feel horrible while doing this, but that is the price to pay for a better future.
#9 Break up with her before she does
If you are sure that this relationship is not going anywhere or that it is not going to work anymore, break up with her before she does. That will protect your pride.
If you have been a good partner, it is unjust for you to be in this situation. You are the embodiment of the perfect partner, yet she feels the need to flirt with other guys.
You can say this to her (try saving this relationship for one last time) before you break up: “You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Can’t we go back to being the people we used to be?”
Her answer to this question will seal fate once and for all. Observe how she answers and how much time she takes to think. The more time she takes to answer this question, the more distant she is. There are miles between you guys. It is time to acknowledge it and move on in different directions.
#10 Don’t put ideas in her head
Did you flirt with someone in front of her? Well, she remembered it and now is doing the same to you. You should not have put that idea in her head. She thinks, “If my partner can flirt with people, I too can.”
You technically have no right to stop her from doing this. However, you can ask her to stop flirting with other people. Have a good reason to support your request.
You can apologize to her, saying, “I have realized my mistake. I shouldn’t have flirted with that girl. It was an extremely inconsiderate thing to do.” Ask her what she can do to make things right and do it exactly how she wants.
To sum up
Conversations are important in a relationship. If you have a problem with flirting, talk to her about it. She will understand if she is a sensible person. She might even have some explanation for you (which may or may not be satisfactory).
However, don’t force anything on her. She is not bound to stay with you no matter what. She is free to break up with you and move on to a new relationship. You don’t own her.