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Why Does My Ex Look at Me When I'm Not Looking? [ANSWERED]

Your ex goes into a trance to recollect the memories of the good days spent. They perhaps have that unflinching look of regret which is inviting and appealing. They would love to reconnect with you for old times' sake. If you share their emotion, there's no harm in taking a step forward.Feature Image of Why Does My Ex Look at Me When I'm Not Looking

All relationships begin with eye contact. But can eye contact or a distance when the other person is not looking renew a relationship? 

You are at a party having a good time with your people. Suddenly you notice this pair of eyes following you. You are dazed and confused. When you look clearly, you realize it's your ex.

You feel a surge of mixed emotions together. You wonder why your ex is looking at you when you are not looking. Your ex doesn't make eye contact. But when you stop looking, they look at you again.

There is nothing to worry about. We will try to unfurl the strange behavior of your ex. We will also try to figure out how to react or not to react in such a situation. Keep reading!

11 Possible reasons why your ex looks at you when you are not looking

Your ex is trying to approach you but cannot gather the courage to do so. They are not confident if you would entertain them. They don't want to be humiliated in front of people, but they miss you.

#1 They miss you 

Notice their body language. Are they standing with their toes facing you, or are they looking at you from the corner of their eyes?

If they are looking at you in the former position, they want to talk to you. However, if they maintain their ground by staying distant and giving you a look from the corner of their eyes, they are gripped by fear.

Perhaps they have brought a partner who knows nothing about you. They don't want the partner to discover their ex from their ex. Or, they still like you and want to give it all another try.

#2 You are with someone 

Your ex is checking out your partner, or you are standing together. They compare how you used to look like a couple against your present partner.

Your ex is trying to be judgemental here. They are trying to ascertain if you have maintained a good taste in people or did you compromise?

Take notice if your ex is solely looking at you or staring at your partner. Also, notice if your ex is alone or has a partner along.

#3 They are surprised 

Notice your ex's facial expression in totality rather than their eyes singularly. Are the lips of your ex twitching or giving a faint smile? If it's the former, your ex is not happy to be under the same roof as you. If it's the latter, your ex is excited to see you.

Reading their facial expression will give you strong hints about their minds' work. You will be able to give your reaction accordingly.

#4 You are the host 

If you are the function host but never invited your ex, it suggests that your ex hasn't come alone. They are with someone. 

Perhaps they knew that you were the host and came to surprise you. Or, they had no clue that you are the host, and now they feel off-guard

Either way, there's nothing to panic about for you. Being the host gives you the upper hand. You can flare through the situation without worrying because it's your territory, and your ex is the uninvited guest.

#5 It's been a long time 

If you never saw your ex again after the break-up, they might be looking at you because it's been a long time. They are as puzzled as you. They don't know how to react or what to do. They are not in control of the situation, but they cannot keep their eyes off you either.

Look closely and see if their eyes are wide open or smiling at you. If it's the former, they are shocked to see you here. If it's the latter, they are mesmerized and grateful that they could finally glimpse you.

#6 You are looking glamorous 

If you are in a special outfit and it's a special occasion, your ex feels attracted to you. They don't want to think straight. They want to steal you and take you home.

Try to analyze if there's a hint of sadness or wild fantasy. If it's sadness, they regret giving up on you. If it's a wild fantasy, they are highly optimistic and hoping for a chance for them.

#7 They are single 

Look around your ex to see if they have a partner. If not, they are single and perhaps yearning for companionship. When their eyes fall on you, perhaps a little drunk too, they crave to get closer to you.

However, the world would have been a happier place if we all could get what we wanted. So, they keep their distance but don't stop looking at you because looking can harm nobody.

#8 You are looking at them

Perhaps it's more about looking at your ex rather than the other way round. Your ex keeps their distance but looks back at you because they feel you have some message to convey.

Think again, were you looking at them perhaps absentmindedly? If yes, they are not to be blamed. You must have sent wrong notions, or perhaps subconsciously, you miss them.

#9 You look happy 

The reason for your ex to stare at you so much is because it has not been a long time since your breakup, but you look happy and seemingly comfortable around them.

They may wonder if the cause of happiness is the breakup or if you are putting up a show by pretending to be happy.

Either way, your ex is not happy if they don't have a comfortable look on their face. Whereas, if you can smile on their face, they have genuinely loved you and can be counted among your well-wishers.

#10 He wants to apologize 

Read your ex's eyes. Do you sense guilt or regret? Does it feel like they want to make an apology? Has the apology been long due? Did they break your heart and leave you stranded?

If yes, this might be it. They want to apologize for their behavior. If they downcast their eyes when you look back at them, it suggests their guilt and that they are sorry.

#11 They need help 

If your ex murmurs around you, perhaps they are looking for help, and you are the only known face they recognize out there. If it's a room full of strangers, no one is judging you, and there's no harm in trying to reconnect with your ex. 

Moreover, if your ex had this tendency to get themselves into trouble or get too drunk to drive, this might be the case. You can help them directly or indirectly by booking them a cab.

What to do if you like it when your ex stares at you?

If you are happy to secure your ex's attention post-breakup, you might want to keep the ball rolling and secure a friend out of your ex. Friendship can never be harmful, and you will be surprised how exes make the best of friends. How to do it? Scroll down and read!

#1 Break the ice 

If you did not talk or communicate with your ex after the break-up, it's high time you must break the ice. When you sight them sighting you, it's a perfect time.

Start making a conversation. It need not be anything personal. Begin with something random and casual, such as, "Hey! It's been a long time. How are you doing? What brings you here? I must admit, you look good and happy."

This shall do the trick and give the conversation a direction. That way, you would know what's cooking in their mind.

#2 Offer them a drink 

If you are at a party and you feel that your ex hasn't been drinking or their hands are empty, you can go close to them with drinks in both your hands. Take the one they like. Show them that you remember. They will perhaps chuckle and accept it readily.

Once the drink is inside, conversations will flow easily. You might not need to put special effort into it. Don't do anything or say anything that might cause trigger and bring back memories. 

#3 Give them a kind gesture  

If you feel that your ex is getting nervous or feels off guard around you, but you have no bad intentions, give them a nod or a smile to make them comfortable.

Sometimes, gestures work more than words. If they are too distant for your words to travel, a kind gesture will touch their heart faster. Show them that their presence brings you delight.

#4 Introduce them to your partner 

If you feel your ex is eyeing you because you are with someone, don't hesitate to introduce them. There's no harm for them to know each other. 

If you want to make your ex jealous, this can help. Seeing you happy and doing well in your romantic life might be a blow to your ex. If the intent is to want them to want you, don't be too severe. Show it off as you are moving on in life, and if they want you back, they must not waste any time.

#5 Ask them to dance with you 

Suppose you want to ease and lighten up the situation, dance through it. If you and your ex have been great dancing partners, don't hesitate to dance one more time.

While you're at it, a little conversation, confession, or declaration will not harm you. Whatever it is that keeps you up at night, reveal it. If they agree to dance with you, they don't mind sharing their side of matters.

#6 Take them to a secluded spot 

If you feel your ex wants to tell you something and would be more comfortable with you at a secluded spot, don't hesitate to ask them to separate from the crowd and spend some time on a balcony or terrace, away from the hustle-bustle.

If they like the idea and follow you, ask them how and what's been bothering them.

#7 Give them the closure 

If you feel your ex is looking at you but avoiding eye contact because you never gave them closure, the breakup was abrupt, but now you feel sorry for it, tell them so.

It's never too late to reveal the matters of the heart. Whatever was your reason, if it was genuine from your standpoint, and you feel that it will ease them a bit, don't keep the words locked to yourself.

#8 Tell them you miss them 

If you have missed your ex, even if not as a lover but as a friend, tell them that. Your ex would be pleased with this piece of delightful information. You can carry on being friends. After all, no one knows you better than how you know each other. 

#9 Unblock them and send them a text 

If you have blocked your ex, it's time to unblock and talk. Text them something like, "I can see you looking at me. You face away to avoid eye contact. I have missed you and hate that we have to pretend to be strangers. Do you wanna talk?" If they are interested in communicating, they will perhaps walk toward you rather than reply.

#10 Give them a hug 

There is nothing crazy about going and hugging your ex when you spot them. After all, you have dated for a long time and know each other well. It will remove any awkwardness and make you two comfortable.

Hug them and tell them that they have been missed and it's a pleasant surprise to see them there. Conversations shall not get cold after that.

#11 Adjust your hair to give a clearer view 

If you feel your ex is looking at you and you like how they look at you, adjust your hair and give them a nice view.

This will also hint that you don't mind when they look at you, and it will act as an inviting impulse to bring them forward and make them talk to you.

What to do if you don't like when your ex stares at you?

If the constant stare of your ex when you are ignoring them bothers you, do something to make it clear. A raise of eyebrows can do the trick. They might not be able to look at you again once they know that you are offended.

There are more ways to come around. Keep reading!

#1 Ignore them

Since you are already ignoring them, ignoring them further might demotivate them ultimately. They might get tired of trying and putting their efforts elsewhere. It will be a win-win situation as you neither have to waste words nor energy convincing them about your lack of interest.

#2 Give them a frown 

Facial expression can do wonders. When your ex ignores your body language, frown at them in a way asking them to mind their business. If they are wicked, they will be persistent. But if they have any sense of shame, they will give up and try such tactics elsewhere.

#3 Dance with your partner 

If you are with a partner or a friend, get busy with them. Make your ex jealous. Show them that you are happy not to be a part of their life. Make them regret their decisions. Make deliberate eye contact when you are at it so that your message is sent crystal clear.

#4 Bring it to your partner's notice 

If you are feeling uncomfortable and your partner is ignorant about your ex's presence and continuous stare, or if you feel that your ex is trying to threaten you, reveal it to your partner at once. Once your ex gets a look from your partner or your partner talks to them, they will stop bothering you.

#5 Be cross in your approach 

Whatever you do, don't make your ex feel comfortable. Have that angry look on your face. If you had spent good time with your ex, they still can see through your expressions and know that whatever they are doing is not appreciated.

#6 Take an exit 

If you can remove yourself from the setting, take the exit. You don't need to be under the same roof as your ex. If it makes you uncomfortable, drive back home. That way, they will know that you didn't like seeing them. And you will be at peace to leave without having to humor whatever was cooking on their mind.

#7 Stop smiling 

If by any chance you were smiling, stop it immediately. Give a horror or shocked look to your ex. Show them that you were not expecting to see them here. Wait for their reaction. If they try to communicate, tell them that you are not interested in talking and they must leave you alone.

#8 Look at them from the corner of your eyes  

If your ex is looking at you when you are not looking at them, keep watching their moves from the corner of your eyes. That way, you will be free from the pain of confronting them. 

#9 Keep yourself engaged with other people 

Keeping yourself busy with other people and behaving like your ex isn't there, that is, being indifferent to them rather than acknowledging their presence would hit them hard. It will show that you are powerful and fearless. It will prove that you have moved beyond your past, and staring can make no difference or cause no unrest.

Summing up 

If your ex looks at you when you are not looking, it's a good sign. It suggests that they are not over you. More importantly, it suggests that they don't want to be indifferent. 

Generally, we tend to ignore or avoid people we don't like. But your ex is trying to prove that you are better than that. You are still their comfort zone, and they won't mind seeking refuge in you.

If you have warm feelings for them, don't keep yourself from heartwarming conversations for old times' sake.

Suprity Acharyya


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