My Ex-boyfriend Hugged Me Tightly: Here What It Means!Your ex-boyfriend isn't over you. You guys might not see each other much, but he would like to remain friends with you. While some people like to estrange their ex, your ex isn't one of them. Friendship has never been harmed. You can give it a go if you have a soft corner for him.
Tight hugs have multifold meanings. When such a hug comes from someone you have loved, it evokes nostalgia. You're so overwhelmed now that you cannot tell your feelings from your ex. It gets muddled up with your emotions.
Worry not! In this blog post, I'll help you to figure out your feelings for that your ex. It will give you a comprehensive idea of why your ex hugged you tightly and what you should do about it.
Reasons why your ex-boyfriend hugged you tightly
The strongest possible reason is he misses you. You have made him feel alive, and he feels that the breakup was a big mistake on his side. The hug is equivalent to asking for another chance to make it right. Let's read to find out more.
#1 You were the first love of his life
When you're the first love of a guy, he will always associate a special bond with you even after the breakup. It is not easy to give up on first love.
There are so many songs and poetries written on first love. It is possible that whenever he would listen to those songs, he would think about you.
If the breakup was young, he hasn't been over you yet. Hence, when he saw you, he couldn't resist but hug you. The hug could have many meanings here. It could be a last attempt to tell you to come back into his life. Or, it could be a silent promise to always stay by your side even if you are not dating.
#2 He hasn't moved on
It is possible that your ex-boyfriend still thinks about you every day. If the breakup were not mutual, either one of the partners would suffer from the memories of times spent together.
If you had shifted to another town or had ghosted him, he might be in shock. The moment he saw you, he wanted to embrace you so tight that nothing could separate you again.
You should perhaps treat him delicately. This fellow is madly in love with you. Don't be rude. Tell him politely your reasons for the separation. Ask him how he is doing in life and get ahead smoothly.
#3 Its a token of farewell
Perhaps your ex is changing cities or is planning to settle down with the newfound love of his life. The embrace is his way of bidding you farewell.
It is better not to ask him many questions if you don't want to get involved in his life. In such situations, the go-to way is to smile and move on.
Don't shed tears if you don't want to have him back in your life. Be strong, and this too shall pass.
#4 Its an extension of friendship
The embrace could be a token of friendship. He means to convey that even if you are not lovers, it doesn't mean that you have to be strangers.
Friendship is a beautiful bond, especially with people you have known. It is not worth losing it. He would know things about you that you might be unaware of.
If you feel you can let bygones be bygones, give him a chance. Embrace him back. Smile warmth into his life.
#5 He wants to make your boyfriend jealous
If you're present with your boyfriend, it can be that he wants to shake his bond of trust. This would not be warm-hearted of him. A guy would only do this if you had broken his heart, even unconsciously.
Now, you would get to know how much your boyfriend trusts you. It is alright to introduce your boyfriend to your ex. You can say, "This is the guy I used to date before I found my true love in you, hun."
It would be a befitting reply in the given situation. You would easily get the upper hand here, and even if your ex makes a cheap comment, it will give your boyfriend the courage to come up strong on his face.
#6 He wants to see your reaction
Perhaps your ex wanted to see how you would react. If it would make you uncomfortable when he hugs you, or would your body readily accept his touch and consume his essence?
Sometimes we feel so comfortable with a stranger that we forget that he is a stranger, other times, we feel so estranged from people we have known all our life that everything seems a lie.
Perhaps you are still that special someone for your ex. He still feels at home with you. He is curious to find out if you feel the same. If you do, then the breakup would be pointless. If not, why do his actions bother you?
#7 He is vulnerable
Perhaps your ex is emotional and vulnerable. If he never had any friends or is not in touch with his parents, you might be the only spring of joy in his life. Now that you, too, have aloofed him, he feels broken.
If you can, lend him your shoulders. Don't interrupt him if he sheds tears. Kiss his forehead for old times' sake, perhaps. Show him that you're by him as a friend. Reassure him that you never intended to hurt his feelings.
#8 He finds himself guilty
Perhaps the hug is a note of apology. Your ex-boyfriend might have abruptly ended things or ghosted you without any prior warning.
He may have abandoned you at a significant point in your life. It is now that he realizes his mistake, and the guilt makes him ashamed of his conduct.
If he utters the word sorry, pat him on his back and forgive him because after all these years, none of this matters. Remember, some part of the past is better left earthen.
#9 He loves you
The breakup hasn't deprived your ex of his love for you. He loves you with all his heart and soul. He wants you back. The embrace is his way of begging you to take him back in your life and continue everything as if the breakup never happened.
Such people like in the world of make-believe. They're not ready to face reality. It is mostly because their brought up. Their parents have spoiled them. They're attention seekers, and if by chance it was you who had dumped them, they are still in shock.
They might want you back not because they love you but because they don't want to give you the power to discard them. Be careful of such people. There's a fine line of difference between love and obsession. The guy might make you feel one while the reality is another.
#10 He is depressed
He might be undergoing financial trouble or domestic issues which have kept him low. If you're an optimistic person, he perhaps looks up to you for inspiration. He may see a soulmate in you. In his time of weakness, your demeanor and smile might have done the magic for him.
If you feel this might be the case, encourage him to keep trying at his goals. Motivate him and hug him back if that makes him feel better.
What to do when your ex-boyfriend hugs you?
While you might be taken aback when your ex-boyfriend hugs you, consider the factors that might have led him to do so before giving a reaction. Such factors are the setting, the time, your feeling, his feeling, and most of all, the note on which you had separated ways from one another.
If you want to encourage him
If you want to encourage your ex, and you feel that there's more to this relationship that had been abruptly brought to an end, perhaps due to some misunderstanding or because you had changed cities. These reasons lack strong ground as the situation and circumstances can alter in the future.
I've discussed various ways in which you can, if you want to, encourage him into resuming the lovely bond that you two were sharing.
#1 Invite him home
If you're outdoors at a party or a friend's place, and you came across your ex-boyfriend who has always treated you with kindness, if a spark of affection has lighted again in your heart for the way he hugged you, don't mind inviting him home with you.
Inviting home doesn't necessarily mean that things are to cook between you; it can indicate being nostalgic together, recollecting memories, and catching up. This would make you feel good. It strengthens one's character to show that you can trade beyond the frailties of human relationships.
#2 Hug him back
When someone does something for you, and you like it, you do something in return for them. In this case, if your ex-boyfriend hugged you, and it made you feel on cloud nine, you ought to hug him back.
Hugging someone doesn't mean that you are a pervert or you have a romantic inclination toward that person. It could suggest your fondness for him. It shows the strength of your character. You don't let the past hold grudges against the present.
#3 Encourage him to share his feelings
If you feel your ex-boyfriend is holding or hiding his feelings from you, encourage him to share them. When he doesn't open up naturally, ask him about his life.
Make inquiries about his work and relationship. It would update you on his present condition, and you would get a hint or two about his striking conduct.
You may open the conversation by saying, "It is a pleasant surprise to see you after a long time. How've you been? Where are you staying? Tell me everything."
Show a kind of excitement in your voice that would move him into talking.
#4 Hold his hand
Holding hands is a kind gesture. It shows affirmation. When you hold your ex-boyfriend's hands after he hugs you, it shows that you trust him.
It will help build up his confidence, and he might take a step forward in making conversations and making a new beginning all over again.
#5 Pat his back
When you pat your ex-boyfriend's back, you act as an empath. This makes him comfortable and removes any bubble of awkwardness that might have been forming in between. It is a friendly move.
#6 Give him a fleeting kiss
A quick kiss shows love but not that of a romantic nature. It indicates affection for someone you have known and shared good times with.
The kiss will soothe any misunderstanding that might have happened between you. It will reinforce a new beginning and the possibility of doing things right this time.
#7 Assure him of your friendship
Speaking out words like, "I'm always there for you. I've your back, you know that, right?" takes a relationship a long way. It fosters trust and encourages the person spoken to have their faith in you.
Remember, it is not only your ex-boyfriend who might need you. You might be having moments of vulnerability too. This will help both of you to reach a better point together.
#8 Stay for the night
One night might not do much harm when spent with the right person. If you have a fire within that, you want to quench, and this is your chance. Stay for the night and talk about times spent together and separated from one another.
Try to ascertain what difference your choices have made in each of your lives. It will give you a clear idea of many things you weren't sure about.
Remember, spending a night together doesn't necessitate getting cozy in bed; it can be about getting to know and rediscovering each other.
If you don't want to encourage him
Make sure to convey your withdrawal of interest to your ex-boyfriend so that he doesn't try to get too cozy with you again. Tell him that whatever happened between you is unpardonable. I've suggested a few ways below as to how you can go about it.
#1 Push him away
When your ex-boyfriend tries to come close or attempts to touch or hug you again, give him a hard push. Show him that you don't bring to him anymore, and he can't treat you like trash.
Bear in mind that no matter how open you have been with a person, if you don't share the bond with that person, they have no right to hover or meander about you at any given point in life.
#2 Stick close to your boyfriend
If you're dating someone, and out of the blue, your ex-boyfriend begins to trouble you, stick by your boyfriend and, if necessary, tell him about your ex's approach. Your boyfriend might engage your ex in friendly talk and set things clear at once.
Guys have a way to solve such issues. Even if they get into a tug-war, in an hour, the issue will be resolved, and you will go back home happily.
#3 Don't look at him
Perhaps your ex-boyfriend is seeking your attention. He might be lonely or drunk. Either way, remind yourself that it is not your problem. He is not your business.
Not looking in his direction and keeping yourself engaged with other people is the best way to avoid complicated encounters. Note that some people are best avoided, and not everything needs your attention.
#4 Close the door
If your ex-boyfriend has shown up at your door and hugs you, but you didn't end well, and you don't trust him, close the door on his face. There's no need to invite him in. Some days it's good to be selfish.
If you're doing good in life and it took you a great deal of time to get the equilibrium you've finally attained, don't let anyone from your past rob you of your happiness.
#5 Don't do anything
Perhaps don't overthink and sweat yourself on something occasional and rare. You might not have to see your ex again, so why bother even if he hugged you? It might be the flick of a moment.
Staying impressive and indifferent is your best bet here. When he sees that you don't care and there's no change in your expression or conduct, he would know that he is insignificant to you. This might hurt his pride, and he would not bother to bother you again. It'd be a win-win situation for you.
#6 Tell him to stay away
Your ex-boyfriend might have had an impression that you want him in your life. Deluded people have such notions that people are always longing to be with them.
It is advisable to shatter the notion with your words. Tell him to keep his distance from you. Use cold-biting words to convey the message. Say something like, "Your deluded self would like to believe that I'm still in love with you after everything that happened between us, but I've no feeling for you. If anything, I pity you for your ignorance. You better stay away from me because I'd not like to take any harsh step against my better will."
Such words would be forceful and will do the work for you.
#7 Give him a closure
If you feel your ex-boyfriend is bothering you for lack of closure, you better give him one. It is always better to give someone else they feel you might owe them. It is an easier process.
No matter what led to your breakup, it has been a matter of the past. Don't allow it to disrupt your future. Do whatever it takes to secure your present.
#8 Introduce him to your partner
Introducing your ex to your current partner will help in challenging any ideas and notions that he might be forming in his mind.
Moreover, your boyfriend will feel more confident about you. It will help to strengthen your relationship rather than the other way round, as might be intended by your ex.
My last word would be, if your ex hugs you, hug him back, even if for a moment. It would make him feel good. It would help you understand that whatever passed between you wasn't for nothing.
Your past wasn't a lie. It was substantial, and you have created something meaningful. It would bring you a wholesome feeling and help you realize the magic of creativity.