My Boyfriend is a Know It All (Here's How to Deal With)Dating a 'know it all' can be intimidating, especially if you aren't used to it. Even when they don't try to show you down, it might affect your confidence, and you would think twice before existing yourself.
When you date someone omniscient, it implies two things. You've always been on the other side of the table, and it's too much to handle when you see the tables turned.
Either way, the situation can be worked upon. The first step is to stop panicking and take deep long breaths. The next step is to read this article, for it shall help you in sailing through successively in what you think to be an intimidating relationship.
Reasons why you feel your boyfriend is a know it all
Your boyfriend might have a high IQ. He carries such sound insight and knowledge that no matter the subject, he can speak on it unhesitatingly.
You might either feel all too good about this, or there might be times when you feel annoyed. However, before coming to a conclusion as to why your boyfriend is something you're not, first try to understand its causes. Keep reading below to find out more.
#1 He comes from a different area of expertise
If you're a literature student while your boyfriend is from a commerce or science background, there will be many things that your boyfriend knows, and you don't.
While it is a known fact, that science students are avid readers, and hence you might be all the more surprised when you see that he has sound knowledge of literature as well.
An interest in current affairs also helps in widening one's spectrum of knowledge. Even if your boyfriend takes much interest and you don't, that will create a gap. Dating a know-it-all can be a handful but adventurous too.
#2 He has huge networking
A person with strong public relations is bound to have good networking. Good PR could be owing to his line of work or his family connections. Either way, when you are in touch with people from different fields, you will have accumulated knowledge about it.
Knowing that not knowing is better than procuring half knowledge is vital as the latter creates prejudice and leads one to make unmindful decisions.
#3 He is a genius
If you are dating a gifted person, a born genius, and his academic records have been such that he is doubly promoted or proves to be more than most laypeople, it will come as baggage to you.
In such a case, try to be accommodative rather than pessimistic that you won't be able to keep up with your boyfriend's virtues. It will allow you to observe, keep your eyes and ears open, and learn.
Dating a genius has many pros. You become more goal-oriented in life. You learn how to work under pressure. You are mostly light, happy, and bright.
#4 He is open-minded
Your boyfriend doesn't fall into any stereotypical category. He never boundaries and fades the line of differences. He has a knack for challenging notions.
All such qualities enable him to live life freely. He is not prejudiced. He likes to take life as it comes. He goes with the flow and keeps an open mind to every happening.
Your boyfriend isn't terrified by the hurdles of life. He is more into understanding the situation and finding the solution. He is a fixer, and you should be glad she would never give up easily on you.
#5 He is a natural
Some people's judgment is so apt that it just hits the nail on the head. When you date such a person, you might take them to be a conspirator. You might suspect their intentions or feel that something has to be wrong with you.
However, such people are natural. They are so insightful, perhaps because they like to meditate and think twice before making a call that turns out to be favorable.
It is the art of living. There are many ways to work and improve on it. Believe not only in giving opportunities but also in taking chances. Life will be a happy place.
#6 You're not a fast learner
It is possible that your boyfriend is not one step ahead of you, but you are one step back. Suppose you were never too ambitious or always an average pupil, more inclined towards cheerleading and looking after your body rather than your mind, in short. In that case, if you are Penny from Big Bang Theory attempting to date Leonard, you must find the balance they did.
It is balanced if your boyfriend is a nerd, but you are sexy! His IQ makes him look attractive to you, and your sense of style and how you carry yourself do the magic for him.
#7 You are easy to be deceived
If you fall in love easily or come across as a heartbroken person looking for love and ready to fall for it on the first go, your boyfriend will create a bubble before you to lure you into loving him.
Guys are good at the play of masquerading. Hence, from here on, start judging rather than trusting. Don't take your word for it, but wait to see if their action keeps up with their words.
See what kind of people the guy is surrounded with. This will give you an idea of what he is into. A genius would be surrounded by people who could match his wavelength or challenge his opinion. When you look around him, you would know if he is genuine or a con artist.
#8 You're not looking at the broader picture
It's neither about him nor about you alone, and it's about "togetherness," "us," "we," and everything that happens when you sum up two lovers. While dating someone, you tend to shed your individualism to a certain degree. It helps either of the partners to mold themselves into each other.
The awareness of making conscious space for the other makes it all the more beautiful. You know you're doing it with all your heart because, more than anything, you want to keep that person in your life. Can there be anything more wholesome than that feeling?
#9 He has studied you
Your boyfriend studied you first and proposed to you later. Are you a sapiosexual? Because if you find intelligence attractive, and you enjoy lectures or have a crush on your professors, then a guy with watchful eyes would notice it.
In such a case, there are two possibilities. Either the guy is truly intelligent and finds you attractive. Or, the guy is into you and has the knowledge that you find intelligence attractive.
If you are a sapiosexual, you would see through the facade if he is putting up one. In certain ways, body language and gestures are typical of people with higher intelligence. Little talk isn't their cup of tea.
Hence, if your boyfriend is truly intelligent and understands you well, there won't be any moment of slipping and gaps between you two. Moreover, you might either find each of you brimming with stories and insights to share or at a loss of words when sharing your feelings because you already understand each other so well.
#10 You're naive
If fooling or fooling around you comes in handy, an intelligent person would keep their distance, but a sly one won't miss the opportunity. How do you know if you're naive?
When you're so hopelessly romantic, you overvalue the person in a way that you get obsessed with them. You trust them blindly without cross-checking their words. So if you feel this is you, take a step back here and start asking to show credentials against all they claim to do or have done.
If the guy is genuine, he would not even mind you making interrogations. He would appreciate it because he would feel that you're interested in him. However, if he reacts otherwise, that's your clue that he is not what he shows himself to be.
#11 He is pseudo practical
If you are demisexual, that is, if you don't fall in love at first sight but after you get emotionally attached to a person, and if your boyfriend, who is a know-it-all, is emotionally unavailable, you will feel skeptical about your relationship at every step.
A certain someone who is either emotionally unavailable or indifferent to the changes that generally bother the human mind making them suffer, would be a pseudo-practical one. All he would care about is the stock market and climate change. So unless that's how you're yourself, a typical Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, remember how Sheldon's girlfriend Amy would also get offended when Sheldon desperately tries to rationalize everything.
Know your priorities, woman! When a lady is after money, she sacrifices looks. When she is after looks, she oversees the wit. And when she stumbles on someone witty, she finds herself disarmed on the emotional ground. Life is never perfect, but you must know what imperfect combination works for you!
#12 You were too self-conceited
There's a possibility that the guy isn't that highly intelligent, but you've been so self-conceited that it's the first time you notice things around you. Until now, you were more of yourself. However, now that you're lured into the charm of your boyfriend, you see nothing but him.
It must be an acute phase for you because a self-obsessed person getting obsessed with someone else makes their world topsy-turvy. It's when Ruby Matthews fell in love with Otis in the recent season of S*x Education, remember? Otis is a witty character, and Ruby is one of the most attractive characters in the entire series.
She is heartbroken because an intelligent person cannot pretend. So either way, it's a win-win situation for you. If he is intelligent and into you, he will find many ways to love you. If he is not, then he is not worth you. However, worry not about any accounts. Keep moving forward with slow and steady steps; if it's meant to be, it shall be on both fronts.
#13 He is rich
If he is rich, try to understand the aspects of it. If a person is self-made and newly rich, he will come with a great deal of knowledge and understanding. All his utterance would mean to do good to you. He would never scorn you or make you feel belittled.
At the same time, when a person is newly rich, but the wealth is inherited, he might have the cunningness to obtain it but not to keep it well. He would be more about flaunting and making a show. He would want to date you because you have a great sense of fashion or simply because you have a figure which would stand out in a crowd.
If, however, he is an aristocrat, that is, if he has been rich and has maintained the wealth, fame, and goodwill, he shall come with a burden imposed. Of course, he shall know everything because maintaining wealth comes with great responsibility. Knowledge and discipline are the cruces of staying successful and ahead in life. If such a person is dating you, you must be a gem of a person! Try to look at yourself from his perspective and make yourself better on every ground.
#14 You're an introvert
If you are an introvert while your boyfriend is a people person, you would be astonished by how he knows everything and everyone. Party animals visit clubs very often and know almost everyone by face.
Stay calm when you discover your boyfriend is friends with all the socialites. Remember, people will like to keep you in their circle when your pocket is full or when you know how to win the argument after challenging the commonly held notions.
Try to understand the subtle difference between a know-it-all and the privilege of being popular. Then decide which one you want to date.
#15 It's only the first impression
If your relationship is young, you might be overwhelmed or fascinated by the newness of everything. You may need to overestimate everything.
It is advisable never to rush into judgments. Taking your time and setting a bare minimum duration to check the guy's consistency, not only towards you but his sincerity towards everything he pursues, would be the right way to take things ahead.
Remember, you are not the only one bursting with excitement here. He would walk the extra mile and do his best to leave an impactful first impression on you. Taking time would be the best option here, not only to test him but also to test your affection for him.
What to do when your boyfriend is a know it all?
The first thing to do when dating an over-smart or highly intellectual person is to lose your calm and confidence. Each of us is unique. To enhance your confidence, keep reading below.
#1 Learn and adapt
To be a great listener and a keen observer requires great skill. Learn to understand and adapt. Evolution is the key to success in all dimensions.
Refrain from fear changes, especially when it leads to an upgradation. Moreover, if your boyfriend wants your relationship to work, he will be enthusiastic about teaching you new skills. If he is ready to guide you, make him your mentor.
You come with your own set of skills too. Try to blend yours with his to make something wholesome and fruitful.
#2 Take it slow
Slow and steady wins the race. You don't have to make a rush, nor should you come to a still point. A standstill would lead to stagnation.
Effective, measured, slow steps in the right direction will make your efforts worthwhile. Your boyfriend should not sense the desperation in you. Don't let him feel that you are dying to be with him.
Take it slowly to avoid exposing your vulnerability and keep you fuelled in the long run. Focus on your immediate and long-term plans equally.
#3 Be reasonable
Don't be so driven by emotions that you discount on reason. It is only open and sharp-minded who qualify to be the fittest. When you think with your mind rather than your heart, the black clouds shall dispel automatically.
CPU is called the nervous system of a computer for a reason. Let your brain make the ruling. Even if your guy is intelligent, you will figure out ways to be street-smart as and when needed.
#4 Don't lose your confidence
Losing confidence should be kept off the table. You don't need a relationship if it makes you weak. Your partner is bound to enhance your understanding.
If your partner, or even you, fails to hold hands with one another, then your date is just another fling. Whereas, no matter the circumstances, if you don't give up on one another, you both are here to stay.
#5 Try to understand why he is dating you
At times, we are so deeply engrossed in understanding our feelings that we overlook or neglect the feelings of others. In your case, for instance, do you know what your boyfriend's reason for dating you is?
More than that, has his reasons modified, or is it the same, or is there a possibility that he is merely going with the flow here? Try to dig in from this perspective. Ask him to meet you midway. If he hasn't been probing into such questions, encourage him to do it.
#6 Introspect and meditate
Take some time for yourself if you feel things have heated too much in your relationship zone. It is okay to take short pauses once in a while if that could help you to perform better in your commitment to your partner.
This is something that your boyfriend would not mind and shall be more than happy for you to do. He might even decide to join you. Introspection and meditation are all about inner healing and switching to a better mode of living. If you do it wholeheartedly, nothing could make you feel happier in life.
#7 Engage in meaningful conversation
Having meaningful conversations with your partner rather than unnecessary conversations with yourself would be effective. Try to match his level of enthusiasm. It gets very difficult to cope with a subject area when you have little to no knowledge about it and the other person is an expert.
In such cases, rather than accepting your ignorance, probe the fundamentals. Ask your boyfriend to introduce you to the topic. Tell him to explain his interest in the field. Try to understand his fascination.
Once you get a briefing and can connect the dots, you will find ways and sources to educate you further.
#8 Be more creative
Creativity fosters excellence, creating a healthy and dynamic environment for the spring of new thoughts. It could be your vibrant energy that helps your partner to think differently. It is a well-known fact that very highly intellectual people fail to realize or understand the obvious.
Your creativity could help your partner in various ways. He could help you streamline your thoughts by giving them direction. Creativity and rationality, when going hand-in-hand, can lead to powerful developments. Thus, you could be a wholesome pack.
#9 Test his other skills
Don't merely rely on your boyfriend's intellect but analyze its practical applicability. Also, keep a check on his social skills. High-intellectual people are socially awkward and introverted. You must not overlook one fact because you are too busy focusing on another.
Remember, no one is perfect. We all have our limits, and there are always some dimensions we ace and others we cultivate ourselves to thrive in.
#10 Have faith
Trust the process. If it is meant to be, it shall be. If your love for one another is based on honesty, even if circumstances make you drift apart, you shall get back together stronger and smarter.
Don't fear changes. Sometimes changes lead us to better opportunities, and other times changes make us better for the already undertaken roles in life.
Dating a know-it-all could be an experience. Enjoy its beauty and bask in its enrichment. Let it ornament you with his praises. You are beautiful and deserve all the love in the world.