My Boyfriend Gets Mad When I Wear Revealing Clothes (Here's Why)

Understanding what is going through your partner's head can be very difficult at times, especially when it comes to our boyfriends. They tend to look at things from a perspective very different from our own. Why does your boyfriend get angry when you dress in revealing clothing? Why can't he just join you in celebrating your fashion sense and embrace your style just the way it is?

The reason why his reaction is different is that his experiences in life are much different from yours. Don't feel discouraged when he requests you not to wear certain clothing. Instead, try your best to communicate with him and let him see your side of things. Remember, in a relationship, communication is always the key and the solution to almost all problems!

Here is our take on what could be the reason behind his angry reaction. On top of that, we are here to tell you how to deal with the situation in a way that strengthens your bond with your boyfriend!

Why does wearing revealing clothes make your boyfriend mad?

Tired of arguing with your boyfriend about your clothes? Maybe knowing what is getting him irked in the first place will help you address the situation better. And today, we will take you through some of the most common reasons why men get mad when their girlfriends wear revealing attire. 

#1 He's scared that other men might catcall you

It is true that women, to date, live in extremely unsafe situations. Whenever we go outside, we are met with predators looking for an opportunity to attack our dignity. Most men have also grown up looking at women around them getting mistreated on the streets - being victims of catcalling, eve teasing, and whatnot. 

The reason behind your boyfriend's anger might just be his concern for your safety, after all. He just doesn't want you to get into any unpleasant arguments with men on the streets.

However, he does not understand that clothing is your self-expression, and it should not be invalidated. Try to have a conversation with him to show him the steps you take to stay safe on the streets. Show him why fashion means so much to you, and help him find joy in your interesting clothing choices that liberate your sense of personality!

#2 May trigger his possessiveness

As human beings, we tend to be extremely possessive about our partners. This possessiveness manifests differently for different people. 

Can the reason behind your boyfriend's angry reaction be his possessiveness and jealousy? Yes, that can totally be the case! 

He does not want his girl to appeal to any other man when he is not present to take care of her. He wants to be your everything, and he is not ready to share! Perhaps in his mind, he thinks dressing modestly will make fewer men hit on you. In order to change his mindset, you might need to show him that dressing up has nothing to do with being approached by men!

Alternatively, he might subconsciously want you to reserve your seductiveness for him and him alone! His past experiences in relationships or his home life may have led him to develop an insecure attachment style, because of which he is having trouble trusting you. 

You need to show him that you are only interested in him, and dressing up is all about you feeling great and not about luring other men to get interested in you.

#3 Might have unique cultural or religious beliefs

Many people come from cultural and religious backgrounds that state that modesty in clothing is equal to virtue in character. When your boyfriend is from such a background, it will take him a long time to open up his mind to other cultures and customs. This is the reality of the world, and cultural differences in any relationship can be very hard to navigate. 

When you are certain that dressing in a revealing way is not wrong, it will then depend on your boyfriend to relearn his views for the sake of your happiness. 

But changing one's orthodox ideology is not a compromise. Show your boyfriend how becoming an open-minded person will help him develop a stronger character. Try to make him understand that he is a wonderful individual who has the potential of becoming a much better partner - and a great father and role model. For this, he needs to be more appreciative of the modern social movements for the freedom and empowerment of women!

#4 Scared that his parents will see you and get judgemental

Another reason why your boyfriend might not want you to dress a certain way is that he is afraid of what his family and relatives will say. 

Sometimes, men from traditional backgrounds are able to change their own traditional beliefs but cannot get their parents to do the same. It is natural in such a situation for you to feel betrayed and angry. But behind such behavior is a wish that you will get along with other people whom he values just as much as you.

It is true that even you cannot change how his parents and relatives think. What you can do is motivate him to stand up for what he believes in. Tell him you will be respectful towards his parents but are not willing to give up your individuality for their sake. 

Having straightforward conversations like this can help you set boundaries in your relationship. If he is the man you give him credit for being, he will appreciate your strength and love you all the more for it. 

#5 Afraid the peer group may not approve or say something sleazy about you 

Now we have come to the third aspect of your boyfriend's social life - his friends and acquaintances. You might be surprised to know that boys care as much about their friends' opinions of their partners as girls do. 

He might be afraid that his friends will look at you in a negative light if you dress in revealing attire. He might also be worried that you will be bullied by his peer group. There might be deep reasons for this. It might also be that your boyfriend was himself bullied at one point for similar reasons!

This is indeed a very hard territory to navigate as his girlfriend. You need to closely inspect his peer group and the effect this group has on him. If you feel like he is too dependent on his peer group for all his decisions, convey your worries to him. A good boyfriend needs to be someone who considers you as his best friend too and does not easily get swayed by what people say.

#6 Inappropriate clothing leads to a bad cold- he doesn't want you catching a cold!

What if the source of all your concern is just a huge misunderstanding? If it is the dead of winter and you have been worried about your individual rights not being appreciated, consider asking him if he is not just worried about the temperature! 

Dressing up in a way that is appropriate to the occasion, as well as the weather, is perennially essential. And yet, depending on your upbringing, you and your boyfriend may have very different ideas of what appropriate clothing is. Have you been subconsciously underdressing during winter months so you can look good? More women do this than they would like to admit. 

Maybe, your boyfriend is mad about the last time you wore a dress in the winter and ended up asking for his coat when he was cold too!

Under-dressing is a major reason for poor respiratory health in a number of cities across the world. It can lead to colds, skin infections, and hypothermia in the worst-case situation. If your boyfriend has been seeing you do this for a while now, it is natural for him to get concerned. 

Talk to him about what the real reason is - especially if he is the type to avoid vulnerable conversations; he would not be able to tell you he is worried about you until you ask him yourself!

#7 Does not appreciate your fashion sense

In a very unfortunate situation, your worst fears might come true - he likes you but does not like your fashion sense. He wishes you would dress differently, and at times this might have nothing to do with internalized misogyny. 

Maybe he just finds revealing clothing too loud and unsophisticated. This can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if you are someone who prides yourself in having an excellent aesthetic sense. The only way to find out what the truth is is to ask him point blank what he thinks of your fashion sense!

What do you do if he tells you he wishes you dress up like somebody else? Your boyfriend preferring somebody else's style over yours can be a red flag, especially if that person is a close friend (or his mother). If he is someone who has a strong sense of style himself, you both might just have opposite tastes. By spending more time discovering each other, you can resolve this issue in a safe and productive manner.

#8 Does not respect the free choice of women 

Now, if this is the case, it might be time for you to re-evaluate your relationship. How do you know if your boyfriend does not respect the free choice of women? Please pay attention to his other reactions. 

Does he spend a lot of time talking about how modern women are not as capable as men in the workplace? Does he hit on other women in front of you or behind your back? Does he consider women to be natural homemakers and prefers them not to enter highly professional careers? How does he talk about other women in his life - does he mention them being attractive and beautiful, or intelligent, creative, and insightful? 

The way your boyfriend refers to women in his life can tell you a lot about how he intends to treat you in the future. A man who is not respectful of the free choice of women is almost always a bad partner and a bad father.

What should I do to improve the situation? 

If you have a good understanding between the both of you, then we would suggest you read through the following points. This should give you a clear direction as to where you should be headed. 

#1 Try to understand what's bothering him- Time to get some clarity

In order to determine your next course of action, you have first to understand the true reason behind his anger. Try to get a clear answer from him about what has been bothering him recently. 

Does he have an understanding of fashion that is different from yours? Are there orthodox values in his mind that he cannot yet get rid of? Was he stressed about something completely different? 

Choose the correct environment to have this conversation. The best will be a place where your boyfriend finds it easiest to convey his emotions. It might be a calm bench in the middle of a garden, virtually on call, in the bedroom, or at the dinner table. 

Let him find a relaxed ambiance and let him know that you are not here to fight with him. Use proper words and give him the space to get comfortable before he responds.

#2 Have an open discussion- Be an active listener and communicate your stand well

While you are communicating, you have to monitor your own behavior as well. Eventually, you will have to ask your boyfriend to do the same if you want your relationship to last. 

Communication is all about proper expressions and active listening. Make sure you understand his point of view and listen carefully to his words before you try to communicate your own viewpoint. Let him know that you are expecting the same behavior from him. 

If he tells you he needs time to accept what you say, or rejects it all together, be honest about how you feel and whether or not your relationship will work out anymore. Be respectful towards him even when you are angry, but don't say yes to something that doesn't seem right to you. 

#3 Give him assurance that you are not going to break up with him

It can very well be the case that your boyfriend is afraid to convey his true feelings for fear that you do not consider him to be your priority and will break up with him. Assure him that you are not going to break up with him as long as he is willing to work on these issues with you. 

Show him with your words and actions that you truly think of him as your life partner and believe that you both are capable of resolving such differences as this one. It is equally important for you to mean the words you say. If you end up threatening to break up with him anyways, he might not trust you the next time you assure him about this same thing.

The fact that he is willing to work on his viewpoint for the sake of the relationship is a huge green flag. If he respects your perceptions, make sure you do the same for him.

#4 Tell them it is fashion and not vulgarity 

A major reason behind your boyfriend having such a black-and-white perspective on fashion might be that they don't understand it very well. Introduce your boyfriend to the history and significance of fashion as a field and show him that fashion is not just a way to appeal to a romantic interest. 

Your boyfriend might change his understanding of fashion when he rediscovers it as an art form instead of just 'looks'. If required, you can explore concepts from Psychology and Neurology to show him how fashion links to self-expression and self-conception. Fashion is not vulgarity, and modesty is not a virtue! As soon as your boyfriend understands this, you and he would have reached a major milestone in your relationship.

#5 Take him out with you! 

Don't take it personally if your boyfriend doesn't trust you initially. First, try to show him who you are around other men now that you are his girlfriend. This will help him see that wearing a certain kind of clothing does not mean you are flirting with random men! 

Once he is able to see this for himself, ideally, he should be able to loosen up and trust you more during times when he is not around. He might even laugh and joke about his earlier insecurities. You can also take him with you when you go visit your other female friends so that he knows how fashion is an important element of your social personality. 

But in extreme scenarios, this might not do much, and you might just end up fighting the whole time. This might indicate that the incompatibility is severed between you and your boyfriend and that it might be beyond repair. 

#6 Know their past and their trigger points

As we mentioned before, there may be many hidden reasons from your boyfriend's past that make him act insecure around you. He might have picked up behavior patterns from his father or formed a sense of alienation because of his mother's reactions to other women. 

Further, he might have had experiences with past girlfriends, which led him to categorize women into good and bad only on certain specific attributes. If he has had abusive relationships with older women in his life at a minor age, this can explain why he has formed such a black-and-white concept of women's character. 

If he is suffering from such post-traumatic anxiety, you both might need to work on it together and such wounds might take years to heal. Encourage him to seek help instead of compromising forever. 

#7 A break might actually do you both some good

If your boyfriend is not willing to put effort into changing his ideology, you need to explain to him how important it is to you that he does so. If he is still refusing, give him the opportunity to analyze his life without you and choose what is more important to him - working on himself for the good of the relationship or giving the relationship up for his irrational views. 

In case he is not willing to see eye to eye, a break is actually a good choice as it will prepare you to see things more clearly. Keep aside your affection for him and ask yourself - do you want to be in a relationship with someone who does not choose you? If he cares about you, he will realize what his priorities are during this break. 

#8 Seek therapy if things go out of hands

Therapy is the ultimate option if both of you are legitimately unable to seek clarity even after trying your best. 

A professional can use scientifically approved methods in a systematic manner to break down the psychological reasons behind your boyfriend's reactions and create a therapy plan which will allow you and your boyfriend to work on the problem step by step. A professional will also be able to point out your negative actions, if any, that are actually making the situation worse. 

Remember, even when you think you are in the right, you need to work alongside your boyfriend for the betterment of your relationship.

Do you compromise, or is it time to move on?

You should never compromise when it comes to your self-expression. If you compromise once, you might end up doing it again and again. On the other hand, why break up when your boyfriend is willing to work on the situation to make it better for both of you?

Hence, the bottom line is in places where you think you cannot compromise, he needs to do it instead, and in situations where he thinks he cannot compromise, you can go ahead. Who will compromise depends very much on who is in the right and who can make the relationship healthier. 

In this instance, your relationship will not improve by your compromise. If your partner is not willing to re-evaluate his core beliefs, it is best to move on and find someone who will be able to appreciate the way you dress and lift up your spirits when you doubt yourself instead of making you feel worse. 

But yes, if you are in the wrong, like underdressing in winter, it's best that you listen to him. 

Conclusion 

When two people come together to build a common future, arguments and differences of opinion are bound to occur. It is the nature of those arguments that determine whether a partner is right for you. 

What is their mentality? The views that they hold, are they acceptable to you? At the end of the day, a relationship is an extremely intimate, personal experience that you will navigate according to your individual abilities. If people around you have compromised in a similar situation, it does not mean that you have to do the same thing. 

You and you alone decide what your expectations from your partner are, and it is never wrong to make those expectations clear. For a happy life and healthy mental health, choose a partner who is able to meet those expectations and share your core beliefs at all times.