My Boyfriend Doesn’t Let Me Wear Certain Clothes [Here's WHY]You are dating a guy who mostly takes up a patronizing tone and embodies everything wrong with patriarchy. He feels that he is being over-protective towards you. The reality, however, is that he is invading your space and curbing your fundamental rights.
In a relationship, we often try to influence our partner’s behavior. It is primarily done to make ourselves feel better and comfortable around them. We try to control their life and change or regulate a few things because it doesn’t match our taste, standard, or ethics.
One such thing that often comes across to the point of negotiation is how a partner dresses. If you have beautiful legs, your partner might want you to flaunt them less. It is a very base instance of insecurity.
In this blog post, I shall help you figure out why your partner restricts you from wearing a particular set of clothes and what you should do about it. Enjoy reading!
Reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t let you wear certain clothes
One of the primary reasons is that you are dating someone who has been out with pretty girls. Hence, he understands the norms and essence of beauty. If he feels you are doing it just to impress or keep up with the trend, he might stop you.
However, there is more to it that comes to the surface eventually. Keep reading below to find those out!
#1 He is insecure
Your boyfriend cannot stand when another guy eyes you. He feels insecure and feels you might leave him when you come across someone more qualified than him. A cause of such insecurities is dating application which has made finding another partner easy.
The insecurities become stronger if your personality isn’t inclined with one another. If you are more of an extrovert while your boyfriend is an introvert, he faces difficulty when you ask him out to spend time with your friends. He is good at communicating in one-on-one conversations but finds it difficult to have a group conversation.
If he comes from a different background and culture, it will create an unwanted tension or gap between you that might cause unnecessary verbose. Too much insecurity is difficult to handle. If you feel that the guy doesn’t meet your standard or has a polar opposite lifestyle, it is better to take a break rather than try to humor him.
#2 He is over-protective (it is too revealing)
Perhaps your deep-neck blouse or mini skirt is too revealing, giving your guy a tough time. He cares for you. When you visit pubs or travel by public transport, your mind is not at ease. Cases of women molestation are on a sharp increase. The paranoia of your boyfriend is justified.
In such cases, you can make wiser decisions. Dress according to your environment. Vibe with the crowd takes an extra layer of protection. Keep yourself armed with pepper sprays and likes.
Staying back indoors or not enjoying your youth is not the justified means here. You must find a way to help your boyfriend come around. Remember, your boyfriend is not being selfish here. He is only concerned for your greater good.
#3 He is ugly
Suppose you are dating someone who does not match the societal understanding of beauty. In that case, if he is average or falls below average on the scale of being attractive and is aware that you are too pretty for him, he will try to restrict you from wearing certain clothes all the time.
It is very difficult to brainwash or reorient the mentality of such folks. They feel you must have a strong reason to date them despite their ugliness. The situation takes a worse shape if the guy is ugly but rich.
He would feel that you are with him for his money, and if he is convinced about that notion, he will begin behaving like a sugar daddy. He will buy you clothes and take you out on great dates but, in return, will expect you to do things the way he likes them.
It is advisable to only easily settle for someone below your class or style if they realize your compromise and understand that the only reason for such a compromise is love rather than convenience or comfortability.
#4 He loves you
Excess of virtue can take the form of vice. When you are the first love of someone, they get so engaged with you and in your life that they would forget you exist as a person on your own. They would undertake all their tasks bearing in mind your image and expect you to do the same in return.
It begins by getting claustrophobic till one day when you realize it has turned toxic. Never sign for something that brings you inconvenience. It should ornament your possessed attributes.
#5 You feel uncomfortable
If your partner’s reasoning stands on the ground that you feel uncomfortable wearing certain dresses and you wear it still owing to peer pressure or to keep up with the trend, he is sound-minded. Moreover, it proves that he loves you, for he is not mean.
He has the right values. He prioritizes comfort rather than wanting to have a hot chick by his side. This is a pure and unadulterated form of love. It can be underrated, but you must do everything you can not let go.
#6 You have a bad dressing sense
If your sense of dressing is awful, and it makes your boyfriend feels awkward, but you are passionate about each other, it is better to modify your wardrobe timely. It is a petty issue and does not worth a breakup.
You can try wearing the same colors when you go out. This will make you a complimentary pair. It would also set certain goals. By doing this, you would come across as a stronger couple before the eyes of those who might have criticized your style and made your boyfriend uncomfortable.
Remember, your boyfriend might not be voicing his opinion. He might be saying things under the influence of his best friends. Don’t just accept his words at once; try to understand where they are coming from. A great way to check this is to notice the changes in his behavior when he is alone with you and with someone.
#7 You don’t maintain his standard
If your boyfriend comes from a very high background, attends tea parties with the elites, and presents himself before others in a classy manner, he would expect the same from you. He would want you to materialize yourself in a way that radiates class and develop a liking for it.
Your face should radiate confidence when you dress classy. Most women don’t know how to carry out specific dresses or pair them nicely with the right accessories. It should neither be too loud nor glittery. Reading popular fashion magazines such as Vogue and following famous stylists and influencers on social media can properly educate you.
#8 You become irresistible
If your guy restricts you from wearing certain clothes because he is not an advocate of public display of affection or PDA, it is because you become irresistible to him. He is unable to focus on the matter at hand.
Certain clothes look better in limited places. You might dress differently at a private party, at a casino, or while clubbing. However, using the same clothes in public places can cause scandal. Your boyfriend is being prudent here.
#9 He likes to dominate
Your boyfriend might be having specific psychological issues. This could be due to having a very strict father or a weird friend circle. Try to analyze if he is behaving in this manner only when it comes to your clothes or other things. He is dominating in nature if he is trying to modulate your other habits. It is not about your dressing sense but everything related to it.
It would be very difficult to keep up with such a man in the long run. You would get unnerved and impatient. It would cause unnecessary break-outs. A dominating person is fussy, rude, and aggressive. Never let a man get the better of you. A relationship at the cost of peace of mind is not worth it.
#10 He doesn’t want to date an eye-candy
Your boyfriend looks up to you in the form of a partner. He does not want you to be reduced to eye candy. If this behavior change is sudden, it may be because you have been dating each other for a long time. He has known you inside out and is certain about keeping you.
This is a sign of a mature man. He might feel that you try to dress a certain way to draw his attention. He wants you to know that your relationship does not sustain physical attraction for one another. It is beyond lust.
Physical intimacy, emotional connection, a balance between love and care, mutual respect, and trust keep you together. Take deep breaths, and hug him tight if you feel these are the reasons at play here.
What to do when your boyfriend doesn’t let you wear certain clothes?
The answer is based on if you like it or not. If you want to get tamed or objectified or take it to be a token of love, there's nothing to mind about this behavior.
If you don't like it, consider taking your steps back instead. Slowing things down would help your boyfriend understand where he has gone wrong.
How do you do either of these? Keep reading below to find out!
If you like it
When you find it adorable how your boyfriend takes an interest in what you wear and carry yourself, why mind? Let's be honest here, who does that these days?
The world is so full of void people that hardly anyone cares about anything besides mating. Keep reading below to learn how to encourage your boyfriend when he tries to stop you from wearing certain clothes.
#1 Give him the power to control you
Let him take charge when he does it well. Refrain from considering the advice of your friends. If they get annoyed by how your boyfriend treats you, it might be because they know no better.
Other people's opinions might be rising from a sense of jealousy. Don't heed their words unless the majority is warning you against it. Besides, try to refrain from selling the opinion of others.
Your heart knows what you want. When you are determined, your mind will find ways to figure it out. While you give him the power to control you, share a similar role in his life.
#2 Learn more about style
Your boyfriend would not need to tell you much about minding your dress when you understand his likings. There must be something common among the suggestions he makes. Try to understand this.
Focus on if he cares more about the prints and material or the brand and pricing. It will give you a lead on to the point he is trying to make, and you will be able to make a sound judgment accordingly.
#3 Wear his preferences when going out
You can filter your wardrobe according to the days and time you spend with your guy. You can choose to wear his preferences when he takes you out on a date. For this, you can try out clothes you feel might be his liking and share a click with him to see his reaction.
If he likes it, you can make a separate shelf in your wardrobe for it. This will save you time and unnecessary hustle. You won’t need to rack your brain every time you plan to go out with your boyfriend. Remember, hanging out with your boyfriend is your choice, and it should make you feel better, not otherwise.
#4 Go shopping with him
You get an idea of his taste when you go shopping with your boyfriend. He might take certain turns and pick certain clothes, which will tell you if he likes deep v-cut necks or round neck t-shirts, if he likes clothes that sparkle, or clothes with a solid color. See if he is trying to change you into a tomboy or from a tomboy into embracing your womanhood.
This will help you estimate his love for you. If it is a young relationship, he is trying to affect your taste for seeking pleasure. If it is an old relationship, he wants to modify your tastes to go long-run with you.
#5 Send him selfies of how you're dressed
Before going out with him, you might share a selfie of how you look or do a video call to see his reaction firsthand. This will prevent any moment of awkwardness. You will be able to probe deeper into that look, and if it is not one of admiration, you could ask him what the trouble is.
Try not to pick up a serious tone while doing this. Make the conversation engaging. Remember, your goal is to create an understanding. Fighting back or with your boyfriend will not help you sustain the relationship. This way, you will get to make modifications and negotiations simultaneously.
#6 Shop his favorite color
Take baby steps into showing him your willingness to change. When you show a person that you are ready to be erased from your identity to suit their taste, it might come across not as a compromise but as a lack of integrity in your character.
Taking small steps towards showing that you want to make adjustments for their sake merely because they mean something to you would not go unappreciated. The guy will feel happy about having you, and you will enjoy the adjustments more.
If you don't like it
When you don’t like a part of something, you must try not to compromise on the entire thing. Some of the fruit might get rotten, but that doesn’t imply that we throw the whole fruit in the bin. The other parts might taste delicious and satisfy your tastebuds.
It’s the same thing with your boyfriend. While most people resort to quite quitting these days, it is not the wisest choice one could make. It is only advisable to do something extreme if you have had enough. Hence, I bring you several ways to tackle the situation without losing your relationship.
#1 Ask him to be more supportive
The relationship becomes toxic when your partner is always playing the blaming game. If all your qualities and attributes go unacknowledged and unappreciated, if your partner is all about criticizing all your habits, it is worse than being in one-sided love.
Try to maintain a balance of criticism and appreciation in your relationships. You should be open to your partner about your concerns, but not so much that it is done at the cost of their comfort. You should neither change the person you fell in love with nor try to change them. They have always been like that. Try to show this perspective to your boyfriend and come around with him.
#2 Tell him you need space
Asking for space in a relationship is your fundamental right and your urge to show the person you are engaged with that you are ready to put effort if it comes reasonably. Don't shy away from efforts. Getting adequate space in a relationship will make it last longer. You must not get overwhelmed or feel suffocated by it.
#3 Ignore his requests
You may choose not to pay heed to your boyfriend’s words. It isn’t necessary to listen to everything and put it in accord. Some things are better left ignored for your sanity when you are too much in love.
Love has the power to overwhelm things. Even a recommendation from your boyfriend might trigger you and make you take it differently. You need to have trust and understand that your boyfriend would not mean any harm to you. He appreciates your presence. Give him more time to understand you, and allow yourself more time to become more accommodating.
#4 Tell him to buy you clothes
When people offer you free advice, ask them to provide you with free clothes instead. This will do you right and shut them up instantly. If your boyfriend restricts you from wearing certain clothes, you ask him to buy you a new wardrobe. Tell him to gift you the clothes he would like to see you in.
If he is sincere in love, he might gift you a few dresses to add to your collection. But the bet is higher than he would stop minding your dressing sense altogether and focus on other things.
#5 Wear what he likes only when you go out with him
Dressing the way your boyfriend prefers you would keep you both happy. You are limiting him to dictate your conduct when you are with him just to make him comfortable but not otherwise. This will prove to him that while you heed his words, you don’t blindly follow them to be the words from Bible.
#6 Give him a taste of his medicine (Control his sense of dressing)
Don't just allow him to take control, but do the same to him. Show him how he feels when you are under control. If he is brainwashing you or trying to dictate your terms, do the same to him and see his reaction.
If and when he gets too fussy about it, point out that he has been trying to regulate you similarly. It might be a moment of epiphany when he realizes his mistake and makes you an apology. However, even after the intense conversation, if he misses the point, it is your red signal to move on and away from him for good.
#7 Set some ground rules
Practice setting ground rules while dating. It helps to maintain the relationship through the second and third phases after the initial exciting phase is over. This is the true test of a relationship.
We tend to ignore certain faults and overlook certain gaps when we start seeing a person. However, as we continue, we realize the subtle differences. It all keeps showing up, and we are compromising a lot.
The grain of thought that we are giving more of ourselves than our partner is an awful feeling. Compromises should be both ways and should not be looked upon as compromises but as adjustments. Change and adjust the perspective as and when needed to get a wider and better view of the situation at play.
#8 Mix and match
Try new styles, such as indo-western, co-ordinates, pencil skirts, crop blouses, denim dresses, jumpsuits, etc. Make your wardrobe hybrid. Don’t stick to something single-mindedly. Try scarves or add more accessories to your look.
Style is not all about what you wear but how you wear and carry it. Even if you put on humble clothes but pair them up nicely with the right makeup, your boyfriend will admire your confidence and thank you for it later.
#9 Resort to quite quitting
If you need help with the above steps, the ultimate resolution is quite quitting. Wasting your time in explanation and understanding where your words go unheeded is unnecessary. Go quiet and give the silent treatment if he understands the changes and is ready to work on them, well and well. If he doesn’t, he wasn’t meant for you.
A relationship lasts when brilliant efforts are put in from both sides. You need to do everything. Even if there is silent contemplation, it should be rewarding. There should not be any breach of conduct. Disrespect should not be tolerated. If your boyfriend sweetly urges you to do or not to do something, you might as well want to pay some weightage to it.