My Boyfriend Expects Me to Pay for Everything: Here's Why!Your boyfriend is a spoiled spendthrift who does not know the worth of money. Stop paying his bills at once. Take a break from him till he realizes his responsibilities. If he doesn't, you're better off without him. Know that you are his girlfriend and not his mother.
In relationships, we like to spend as much time as possible with our better halves. We try to explore new places with them. We also love to pamper and spoil them.
However, it is meant to be done from both sides. If in your case, your boyfriend wants you to pay all the bills even if your pocket allows you to afford it, it is unfair.
You must not humor him along the way and try to break the cycle as soon as possible.
To help you discourage such unwanted behavior, I shall help you in this article to figure out the possible causes as to why your boyfriend wants you to pay all the checks in the first place and as to how you could try and fix it. Keep reading to know more!
Reasons why your boyfriend wants you to pay for everything?
Your boyfriend wants you to pay for everything because you have been keeping up with his tantrums without a hitch.
You have invested your unflinching faith in your boyfriend, and now he is using it to his benefit. While this is the strongest possibility, matters of the heart must be dealt with delicately.
You must take into account all the possible reasons as to why he would put on such absurd behavior. Scroll down to discover more about the possible causes.
#1 He is not independent
Your boyfriend is perhaps still dependent upon his parents for pocket money and has not started making a living.
His parents might either be strict or not very affluent to allow him a great deal of money to help him with his unnecessary or otherwise luxurious expenses.
It will be of great help to you if you gathered some information about his parents or a bit of digging into his background. Knowing his partner's financial status will help you in sorting things out.
Always clear out your priorities before moving ahead in a relationship. Your partner might be available to give you emotional support but might not be blessed enough to help you out financially.
However, he must be careful with expenses and avoid unnecessary expenditures when you're the one paying all the bills.
#2 He lacks self-respect
You're perhaps dating a guy who has low or no self-esteem. It doesn't hit his conscience when he makes you pay his bills. It tells a lot about his mentality.
It is cheap. You must neither be friends with such people nor, in your wildest dreams, think of taking them as your partner. However, if you have made that folly, discontinue the engagement briskly.
#3 He is irresponsible
Your boyfriend doesn't understand the importance of responsibilities. He is an irresponsible lad. You're closing the windows further by continuing to pay his bills.
Once you stop it, one of the two things is bound to happen. Either he will stop making unnecessary expenses, or he will start working to shoulder his expenses.
#4 He is immature
Your boyfriend is immature and narrow-minded. He lacks a conscience. It never occurred to him that it might pain you to pay all his bills.
He perhaps thought that you enjoy paying his bills as a kind-hearted girlfriend. You must talk to him at once and clear out that it is in no way acceptable that you afford all the expenses alone. You must try to push him to bear at least his expenses, if not yours.
#5 You're rich
Your boyfriend wants you to pay all his bills because you come from a very well-to-do family or since you're the epitome of a highly successful and independent woman.
While this piques him, he thought it wiser to let you pay the bills at least till the time you don't fuss about it.
Break the chain at once. An independent lady should open herself to an independent man rather than someone who is useless.
#6 He is mean
You're dating a selfish brute who is up to no good. Your boyfriend lacks the capability of making anyone proud. He is too vain. By accepting without questioning to pay all his bills, you agree to be treated selfishly. You need to remind yourself out loud, "You deserve better!"
You are supposed to be loved gently by someone who doesn't manipulate you with his emotions to make you pay all his bills.
Think about your parents and all the hard work that they have put in to bring you up and make you independent. Think about all the toil and sheer pain you underwent to reach this far in life. You deserve a gentleman, not someone who is worse than a layman.
#7 He is a gold digger
Your boyfriend started dating you in the first place because he knew you like to throw parties and pay the bills of your friends.
But these are not the right reasons to date a person. Such people must be condescended upon. Neither you nor your circle will appreciate the presence of such a guy in your life. While you can tolerate remaining friends with such a person, you must not continue to entertain him by paying his bills.
#8 He is dishonest
If your boyfriend finds comfort in you as you pay his bills, he is far from honest. He is not a genuine person as he is not only cheating himself on his true potential but robbing you of the capacity to dream bigger and go higher.
Your boyfriend's role in your life should be one of an adviser. He should be someone who encourages you to attempt greater feats and become more successful rather than burdening you with his bills.
#9 He lacks integrity
The guy lacks integrity if he is fine with the idea of you paying his bills. He is worse if he deliberately makes you pay his bills. You are a mature and independent person if you can afford to pay the bills of your boyfriend.
You are also a sensible person as you have detected the flaw in your boyfriend's nature. Do not heed it any further. You don't owe him an explanation either. If you feel you want to break free, do it without thinking hard. Your instincts shall never make a fool out of you while your boyfriend can.
#10 He is not serious with you
Your boyfriend wants and lets you pay his bills because he doesn't care for the consequences. He is bothered about what will happen if you refuse to pay his bills or if you choose to break up, return to him to avoid paying his bills.
He is bothered because he doesn't care. He is not serious about you. He is putting up an act to exploit you. Stop encouraging his behavior, and you will know the truth in no time.
#11 He is an addict
Your boyfriend is either an alcoholic or a drug addict. That's where he spends all his money and gets the guts to force you into paying his bills. Such behavior must be reported.
You must not be patient with him. If you feel that he is an addict and he isn't honest or open to you about it, break yourself from the shackles.
Remember, he is your boyfriend, not your husband. You still have time to find yourself, someone, better before making a lifelong commitment. It's not too late yet. Make the right decision.
#12 He is extravagant
Your boyfriend is extravagant. Some people fall into that category. They are deeply absorbed into the idea to seize the day rather than invest in the future.
Your boyfriend would never buy insurance or make investments. Instead, he would have many liabilities that he has raised to afford his leisure. Check into his account and bank statement, and you will know the truth very well.
#13 He has high expectations
He is a man literally blinded in love. He thinks that you, being his beloved, would keep up with any tantrums that he throws in your way. He doesn't care a bit about your expectations. He is not good enough to play his role.
He feels that you would unquestioningly keep meeting with all his needs, and perhaps the day you hesitate, he would leave you for someone else. Such people are parasites, and you must not allow them to waste your resources by any means.
#14 He is a spoilt child
He has been a spoiled child all his life. Now that his parents are fed up with him and have refused to bear the cost of his unneeded indulgence, he has found himself a girlfriend who would also play the role of a benevolent mother in his life.
If you feel he has made a benevolent mother out of your role as a loving girlfriend in his life, don't let him be the prodigious son any longer. Make amends before the wounds get too deep.
#15 He is cheating on you
The guy wants you to pay his bills because he is not planning to have a future with you. His interests lie elsewhere.
He is dating someone else. Hence he is utilizing you till the time he can. Stalk his social media accounts, check his phone, and you will catch him red-handed in no time.
What should you do if your boyfriend wants you to pay for everything?
You should cut off on the payments immediately. You must not encourage your boyfriend to continue to pay his bills. It is as unmanly of him to expect you to pay his bills as it is foolish of you to do so. Read below to find out ways in which you can pull yourself out of this great news mess that he has created for you.
#1 Stop spending money on him
The first and foremost step should be to not spend money on him. Instead, stick to paying your bills alone. You can avoid being too blunt about it by telling him that your wages have been cut or you have to send money home to help your parents.
In this manner, you will also get time to see if he chooses to work in order to pay his expenses or does he leave you for someone who is liberal with her wallet for you l him.
#2 Don't buy him gifts
Stop pampering your boyfriend by buying him gifts if he is already making you pay his bills. Make the payments only at the last hour after the bankers have called up or even shown up at his door pestering him for the payment.
Make yourself his last resource. Help him only if there's no other way left to get either of yourselves out of this. He will get the hint and start working on ways to fix it.
#3 Don't share your account details with him
Never share your account or your bank details with your boyfriend. You don't want to overwhelm him in your love so much so that he forgets to find his way to the shore. Don't keep him afloat.
Let him drown in debts a bit. Block your account from paying his EMI bills. Once they start warning him, he will learn to put effort to mend his ways.
#4 Start splitting the bill
One way to manage the situation wisely rather than withdrawing to pay the bill completely would be to split it. Every time a payment is to be made, divide it into equal shares.
Don't pay the bill all by yourself. Don't think of taking the money later or adjusting it next time. Make the calculations then and there and make it mandatory for him to pay his share.
#5 Confront him
You have the right to ask your boyfriend bluntly as to why he is making you pay all the bills. That would not only give you an answer but would also make him introspect if it is ethical of him to push all the financial burden on you. He would understand your point and start contributing with his share.
#6 Take a break from him
Taking a break from your boyfriend will help you realize how much funds you have been unnecessarily wasting on him. It will also make him realize how completely he had been dependent on you for his living.
It shall be like a moment of epiphany that will dawn upon him, hope very grateful he should be to you. He might finally select to work on himself and his resources before gathering the courage to ask for your hand again.
#7 Ask him to find a job
Tell him directly that you are tired of working day in and day out to support all the finances. Tell him to find a job and start contributing to expenses.
If he comes up with excuses such as he is working on a great book or on some start-up, ask him to share the plan or the blueprint with you. Ask for evidence.
Please don't pay the bills until and unless he proves to you that he is working on a project which has a promising future. Remember, cupid will not pay your bills.
You can open up to him in the following manner: "Darling, I'm afraid I'm tired of paying all the bills myself. My mother has called for help, and from this month I'll be sending money home. I expect you to find a job and bear the bills for a few months, please?"
#8 Know his motives
Try to read your boyfriend's mind. What is he doing, and to what purpose? Is he merely taking time to figure things out, or is it the truth that he lacks purpose? Are you dating a guy who lacks aim?
If he is not competitive while you are, you two aren't compatible with each other. You can never be at peace with such a person.
Don't get too attached to him. Once his motives or the lack thereof is clear to know, get to the action. Do what you feel is best for you.
#9 Dig into his past
Digging into your boyfriend's past shall help you in more than one way. It will tell you about his past girlfriends and the reason they failed.
It will also tell you about how he used to be if he had a difficult childhood or if he was an addict, or if he had ever been arrested for any crimes, you will get the bright alarming red signal that shall enable you to do yourself some good by immediately leaving.
Whereas, if there's trust and honesty in it, it will provide you with strong reasons to support him.
#10 Familiarize yourself with his family
Getting to know his family, particularly his parents and siblings, shall enlighten you in terms of his background, his financial status, and his familiar habits.
You would be able to understand the qualities that he has inherited from his parents or the ways in which he is different. It will help you in making a comparison with your family and your upbringing.
It shall, in turn, further help you in making the right call and plan out to see if you have a future with him.
#11 Know his habits
Knowing your boyfriend's habits, the recurrent activities he indulges himself in, say, where he spends all his money, is he into gambling, how much does he drink in a week, does he pay his friend's bills, etc., will help you a great deal in making the right call.
It will help you understand how responsible or irresponsible he is and where you should draw the line.
#12 Know his friends
Familiarizing yourself with your boyfriend's friends will give you hints about where he gets all the ideas from and how he spends his time when he is not with you.
If he had been keeping things from you or putting up a mask of innocence in front of you, he would no longer be able to hide the truth from you.
#13 Don't trust him easily
If at any point in your relationship you feel that your boyfriend is using or misusing you, do not trust him blindly.
Ask for proof, stalk him, check his phone and do all it takes to unveil the truth. Don't get carried away with emotions.
Be rational and scientific in your approach. If you get satisfying answers, you will be at peace to continue being with him.
If your boyfriend makes you pay the bills, he is not the boyfriend any girl would ideally desire to have in her life. He shall become more of a liability to you.
Try to understand his motives and study his character before wasting your resources on him. However, if you feel positive about it and trust him, do not hesitate to help him out in his hard times.