My Boyfriend Doesn't Buy Me Flowers - Does He Love Me?
Your boyfriend might consider buying flowers an unnecessary expenditure. He might not mind getting you something durable. However, if he doesn't engage in giving or exchanging gifts, he might not be dating you seriously.In a relationship, exchanging gifts makes the lover and beloved feel special to each other. These are small tokens of gratitude to express their love and devotion for their partner. The simplest yet most sophisticated way to do this is to gift the choicest of flowers to your partner.
However, if your partner does not fall into this category, worry not. Read this blog post to find out why your boyfriend does not want to get you flowers and what you can do about it.
Reasons why your boyfriend doesn't get you flowers
While there might be several reasons your boyfriend doesn't get you flowers, the most probable one is that he is a miser. He enjoys putting forth effort but dislikes spending money on his girlfriend or himself. Dating a miser could be difficult because you must keep your expectations very low on a worldly level. However, there might be other reasons for this behavior as well. Keep reading below to find out more.
#1 He is not fond of flowers
Your boyfriend might be allergic to flowers. He might have a different way of expressing himself. Does he indulge you in delicacies, write you poems, make you a playlist, buy you dresses, or do anything extra and unique else?
If he does, he is affectionate toward you but not fond of flowers. There might be a deeper reason for this. It could be related to his previous relationship or a strange incident.
Don't be too harsh on your guy if he doesn't get you flowers, as long as he communicates his love and pampers you through other means. He doesn't love you enough if his love is selfish, and he considers you greedy when you become demanding.
#2 He is not romantic
If a guy is not fond of flowers, he is perhaps not romantic. If a guy's dislike for flowers prevents him from pampering you, he is not in love. Remember, in love and romance, people forget their limits and do things they haven't quite done before.
You attract the love you think you deserve. If you accept a guy who doesn't get you flowers even when you are fond of them, you are allowing him to treat you unfairly. In relationships, we tend to overlook these things out of love. We take it to be trivial. But remember, the beauty of a relationship and what keeps it going are little things. Hence, small gestures and little things are significant by nature.
#3 He is only interested in makeouts
Exchanging gifts is a part of making one feel special. You exchange gifts and give flowers to anyone you are affectionate for. If your boyfriend has never given you flowers and refuses to give them even after you express your love for them, he is not interested in cheering you up or making you feel good about yourself. All he intends to do is make out with you.
Don't do anything that makes you feel used unless you treat your boyfriend the same way. However, if you give your best in a relationship and the level of reciprocation is weak, it is better to put your efforts where they are appreciated.
#4 He has taken you for granted
If your boyfriend has suddenly stopped admiring you and doing things to appreciate your presence in his life, he has taken you for granted. This is a common occurrence that happens in many relationships. One of the partners feels neglected and less appreciated.
When you know that such a lazy treatment is not your cup of tea, don't go for it. Live by the mantra "better late than never." Whenever you realize that you have been treated unfairly, step back and abandon them, if not for someone else, then for your self-appraisal.
#5 You are his flower
If your boyfriend feels that you are the prettiest person in the world and that no one can outdo your beauty, he will not gift you flowers because he feels you deserve much more. However, if he does nothing to make you feel good and appreciated, it suggests that he is merely keeping you happy with his words. He's great at talking big but not so much at putting it into action by doing something nice. Such people are manipulative. They win the heat with their sweetly quoted talks, but you cannot rely upon them for anything beyond that.
#6 He is sending flowers to someone else (treats you like a sidekick?)
If your boyfriend isn't sending you flowers or spending quality time with you, he might be cheating. Does he talk to you only when he is free? Does he ever walk the extra mile for you? Does he make you feel desired?
You might want to express your feelings about him. Rather than stalking him on social media or checking his device, ask him directly if someone else is in his life. If he takes pause, it is in the affirmative. If he laughs it off, it is suspicious. If he holds your hands, tries to calm you down, kisses your head, and tells you that you are the one in his life, don't mind the flowers.
#7 He is saving
Is your birthday around the corner? Is there any special occasion? If there is a possibility that your boyfriend might be planning something grand and that he is perhaps saving for it, It could be that his parents' anniversary is coming up, and he wants to gift them something.
Try to understand the situation rather than assuming things without sound reason. If your boyfriend doesn't like to talk much, be more observant. Take note if he is glued to his phone. Listen to his conversations closely. If he plans something big, he will managements for it over the phone. You will get hints about it when you listen to the reiteration of words closely.
#8 You are a tomboy (he thought you don't like flowers, or you might get offensive)
If you dress up like a tomboy or behave like one, your boyfriend might want to skip all the courteous parts that other boyfriends presumably make efforts to do. Moreover, he might be taking you since he thought you were different from other girls.
While he might have thought that you are not a stereotypical girl looking for flowers and poetic renderings, he took you to be a specimen of what society likes to label "tomboy." We are all unique, and if you don't like to dress up or behave in a certain way, that doesn't steal away the rest of your qualities.
The guy is not considerate. He is too narrow-minded to understand that gender and broadly classified taglines are social constructs. However, if you love each other, you might want to help him out here by explaining who you are. We are all bundles of paradoxes. If he understands and accepts your non-stereotypical nature, he is yours to keep.
#9 His love gestures are different (he likes to cook for you)
There are different ways to express love. My friend's boyfriend likes to spend time doing recreational activities with her. My boyfriend likes to cook for me. We don't exchange flowers. We exchange our favorite playlists.
Make your own terms. Don't follow stereotypes. Experiment with each other to see what makes you two happier. Love is not a place that teaches us to limit or belittle one another. Love liberates. As the Latin saying goes, "Amor Vincit Omnia," meaning love conquers all.
Learn to put faith in love. It will conquer your fears, anxieties, skepticism, and doubts and overthrow everything that stands in its way. Rather than making complaints, learn to be supportive. Have each other's backs and be the power couple.
#10 It's not your birthday (he thinks flowers are for definite occasions)
A guy might have reserved ideas about exchanging flowers. This is commonly the case with either of the partners in a relationship. While you get one partner who loves to overindulge and spoil the other with love and presents, there is the other who likes to maintain a balance and exchange flowers only when the occasion demands it.
The latter kind has a somber temperament. They like to maintain an equation where things are balanced out. They are realists who consider both the short and long term. They're not giving you flowers, which does not imply that they love you less, it suggests that they want you to stay with them for who they are and not for what they can provide you.
#11 He doesn't know which flower to give
You have just started dating, and your boyfriend doesn't know which flower would be appropriate to give. He doesn't want you to judge him, nor does he want to fall into the category of cliche. He wants to do out-of-the-box things to please you. Guys love to please their women!
If you haven't had a talk on this subject with your boyfriend yet, maybe give him a heads up with respect to your likes and dislikes. You don't have to be direct about it. You can always open the conversation with the idea of getting to know more about him. Ask him about his choices, and in return, tell him yours. Learn to communicate yourself rather than hold bitterness against him.
#12 He is too busy to plan things
If your boyfriend is a busy guy with a hectic schedule that keeps him engaged with books during the morning and working as an intern for the better part of the day, it wouldn't cross his mind that he must bring flowers to his girlfriend.
He would rather seek solace in your company. He would want to be with you because you make him feel good. He is looking for a mature relationship where you fulfill each other's needs with things that are not materialistic.
Look at the bigger picture. Understand his schedule. Ask him how his day has been. If you are looking for a guy to chill with and kill boredom with, you might not want to date someone who already has too much on his plate.
#13 You never pamper him
If you have never done anything to pamper your boyfriend or make him feel special about himself, your boyfriend might be holding this grudge against you and deliberately disengaging himself from these protocols. You will be able to read the situation better if this change is sudden. Say he used to bring you flowers every week, but he stopped sending them abruptly. There is nothing wrong with or reason to be embarrassed about asking him if everything is fine between you. If there is something on his mind, push him to share it. Hear him out and process his words, thinking from his point of view, before making a reply. Be thoughtful in your approach to him. Treat him delicately. You both are looking for love.
#14 It's more virtual
If everything between you has been more virtual, in the sense that you have been more connected over texts and calls, your relationship has been more about sexting than making love, or if you hardly meet, your guy might want to keep things virtual.
Virtual reality has become a convenient space for many. It allows easy escapes, delays, not-so-serious commitments, and a good balance between work and play, among other benefits. Because you do not objectify him for being negligent towards you, your boyfriend may believe you have other partners in your life.
It is always better to cover the topic of "How are you as a girlfriend/boyfriend when dating someone?" It tells you a lot about where to set your expectations. It will also give you the opportunity to convey your needs, set some non-negotiables, and identify some flexible ground rules.
#15 He likes gifting books (he is a nerd)
Your boyfriend does not know how to act properly. You are perhaps the first girl in his life. He's been put down ever since he started looking for a girlfriend. Hence, he is taking things slow. He is not an extrovert. Love and romance are subjects of great delicacy for him. He might begin with gifting and wanting to exchange books and reading out favorite passages from narratives and philosophical readings to develop an understanding that is sublime and metaphysical in range. He loves to devour books. He is a nerd. He would love to ravage his love on you, but he might want to do it with books to appreciate your intelligence rather than by showering flower petals on you to adore you.
#16 He is lazy
You have got yourself a lazy ass who doesn't care enough for flowers. He likes you and might be devoted to you, but he would not do things unless they were absolutely necessary, not because he did not want to do them but because he doesn't like doing too many things.
Laziness can be easily tamed. Tell him playfully that you will find yourself a guy who gifts you flowers from time to time, and he will be on his feet with a bouquet of all colors of roses outside your building. To date, a lazy person could be entertaining. They surprise you with their unwillingness to do things, yet do them remarkably well when the time is right.
#17 He has a dashing personality
If you are dating someone who is very attractive and the talk of the town, he won't indulge in the futility of norms. He knows that every girl wants to date him, and considers it a privilege for you if he is going out with you rather than with anyone else.
If you date a charmer, who has a heart-winning smile and excels at flirting, you will have to lower the bar in other zones. You will realize later that an overdose of everything can be unhealthy. In the process of craving for what is not on the plate, you forget to appreciate or even acknowledge that which has beautifully filled your plate. All fingers are not the same.
How to make your boyfriend buy flowers for you?
It is not too difficult to convince your boyfriend to buy you flowers. The easiest step is to ask him to buy it for you. When you politely put forth the request, he won't be able to turn it down. However, there is more than one way to get him to do this. Keep reading to find out more.
#1 Communicate your wishes
Learn the art of communication. It is the key to fueling your relationship. Initial stages are usually exciting, however, with the unfolding of the various aspects of the relationship, you need to work harder on making things stronger.
When you feel in need of anything, tell your boyfriend about it. Don't think of it as a crime. You are his girlfriend. You can be needy and demanding before him. His presence in your life is for a reason. It is to serve your interests affectionately. The same goes for you. Be passionate, and don't be so preoccupied with expressing your wishes that you forget to ask him about his. Don't be mean, be even.
#2 Pamper him
Be complimentary in your approach to your boyfriend. If he hasn't been giving you flowers, switch roles and give them to him. You will be happy if it makes your boyfriend happy. It might even make him realize that it might have been the other way around. This, in turn, would either push him into doing things willingly for you or make him take immense pride in having you as a girlfriend. Either way, it's a win-win for you.
#3 Give him examples (of your friends gifting flowers to their gf)
When you want to talk in similes and metaphors, cite examples from the fictional and social worlds to show him how proper dating is conducted. A wise person will understand from the hints what you are trying to convey. However, if your boyfriend is dimwitted, you might have to help him out by declaring sweetly, "Baby, I'd love it if you pampered me the same way Orlando courted Rosalind in As You Like It." It will save your relationship.
#4 Stop meeting him
Use negative reinforcement to set your boyfriend straight. Rather than being assertive and demanding, take a break. There is no point in wasting words if you have already done it. Your boyfriend might have taken you for granted and is using it to his benefit. Show him that you won't approve of such a treatment. If he puts effort into bringing you back or tries to talk to you about it, give him a chance to set things right again.
#5 Take him to a flower shop
The simplest way to make your guy buy you flowers is to take him to the flower shop, choose all the flowers to your liking, and make him buy them. He would neither be able to deny the prospect nor run away from it.
If anything, he'd be relieved that you took the initiative and are an assertive girlfriend. If, however, he gets too morose about the whole business rather than taking it up in a sportive spirit, he is not your man.
#6 Refer to flowers in all your conversation
Reiterating your requirements in the context of the conversation may hit the nail on the head. Talk about nothing else but flowers when you have flowers on your mind. No matter how the conversation takes a turn, bring up the subject of flowers again and again.
You can talk about the types, mention your favorites, refer to the colors and aromas, talk about their ornamental importance, and go on and on about it until your boyfriend gives up and makes you a garland out of all the flowers you mentioned. Rather than giving up on a relationship, be persistent in your approach to him.
#7 Be patient (try to understand he might be busy)
Try to see life from his perspective. Understand his schedule and determine whether he is keeping himself too busy or spending too little. There is a possibility that he had made an investment and suffered a huge loss. He might be too disappointed to admit it.
Learn to pave the path to his heart so that he feels comfortable sharing things with you. Don't make decisions on the spur of the moment. Take your time and meditate on it.
#8 Dress floral every time
Talk in symbols. Do things that are related to flowers. Dress in florals, meet in gardens and wear flowers in your hair if needed. Your late obsession with flowers will not escape his notice, and he might desperately want to do something about it. That is the moment in which the ball is in your court, and you are to play your game.
It is not a scandalous issue. You can sort it out by communicating with your boyfriend. If he isn't glad to get you flowers after you persistently wish for it, he is not the guy for you. A guy would be willing to do anything for his girlfriend to make her cheeks rosier.