My Boyfriend Didn't Get Me Anything for My Birthday [6 Red Flags]Your boyfriend didn't get you anything, maybe because he thinks the relationship has reached such a mature phase, where birthday gifts don't even matter. Or maybe he has planned to surprise you soon with something bigger. But no gifts, with certain negative indications, can be a real red flag for you.
Irrespective of men and women, we all love receiving gifts, especially when it comes to any special occasions of our life like our birthdays.
Generally, we expect gifts from our parents, siblings, close friends, and of course from our partners. I've noticed that some of my female friends literally wait to see what their partners surprise them with.
However, when our close people, especially our partners, fail to meet our expectations, we feel really bad. But the worse part of it is that we hardly share or often feel cheap to share this feeling with our partners.
Eventually, what happens is, out of this bad negative feeling, we start fighting over something else that may ruin the relationship.
Perhaps, you could relate to the last paragraph and currently looking for something that can pull you out of this worse phase.
Look, my dear, at the very first I want to tell you that not necessarily it has to be something really negative if your boyfriend didn't get you anything for your birthday. Even it can be very positive in many cases.
But to understand what this gesture means and get out of this confusing situation, you must put effort into knowing the exact reason why your boyfriend didn't get you anything for your birthday.
Why your boyfriend didn't get you anything for your birthday?
There can be various reasons behind your boyfriend's not getting you anything for your birthday. Depending on the reason, you can understand whether the situation is negative or positive. Sometimes this phenomenon is so normal that it doesn't even refer to anything specific.
Yeah, it's natural for you to feel bad about it, but it doesn't mean a red flag for your relationship every time. That's why knowing the reasons is so important.
Besides, evaluating the potential reasons also tells you when you should start being concerned about your relationship.
Below, I will talk about a few such potential reasons that could be responsible for your boyfriend's 'not getting you anything' phenomenon.
#1 He thinks gifts are too silly for your birthday
A man who often gifts her girlfriend with many small items may think that not getting anything for her birthday is okay.
In such cases, the man thinks, "As I gifted her a pashmina last week," or "As I already took her to dinner last week, It doesn't matter if I don't get anything for her birthday." This kind of situation is pretty rare, but it happens.
Here, I must assure you that this phenomenon has no potential effect on the very basic root of the relationship. Because it's a part of the basic nature of the man and has nothing to do with his feelings for his partner.
If you suppose it happened to you too, you'll feel bad. But don't be desperate out of the feeling that he's losing interest in you. If this is your reason, your boyfriend will act indifferent about everything. He will love you like he always did, treat you the same way.
#2 Your relationship is too mature
Suppose you've been in a relationship with your boyfriend for a pretty long time, and he has become pretty much like your family.
In that case, he may consider your relationship too mature to get you anything special on some special occasion.
In these cases, there's no lack of love from your boyfriend, but he just doesn't understand that no matter how mature a relationship becomes, it's never a cliche to get something for our partner on their birthday.
If you notice your boyfriend is indifferent and not planning anything for your birthday, but the rest is normal, it can be your boyfriend's reason. If this is his phenomenon, your boyfriend needs to have a gentle lesson from you. You'll learn about it in the latter part of this blog.
#3 You're in a long-distance relationship
Relationships are all about being together and sharing each other's life. But in modern times, long-distance relationships have become very common due to globalization and increasing competition worldwide.
In long-distance relationships, people often stay busy with their professions, study, and other engagements. Eventually, the relationship itself loses the necessary spark. Out of this lack of spark, people often lose the charm of doing something special for their partners.
Obviously, this is not true for everyone. I've seen people successfully sustain their long-distance relationships too. But sometimes, out of extreme professional engagement, men get unable to plan something very special for their girlfriends' birthday.
If your boyfriend is actually not like this, says sorry, and actually regrets his inability to get you something for your birthday, perhaps he had genuine issues there.
#4 He has planned a surprise
Your boyfriend didn't get you anything for your birthday. You're sad and started feeling negative about it. But suddenly, he may appear with some kind of a surprise. Maybe not exactly on your birthday, but on some other day.
So, if your partner is planning some kind of surprise for you, he may stay indifferent and wouldn't get you anything intentionally. In such cases, your boyfriend wants you to feel bad about him because he literally wants to blow your mind with that surprise.
The trick for detecting whether your boyfriend is planning any surprise for your birthday or not is to observe his gestures.
Is he trying to hide something? Is he often trying to be over-smart and showing that he doesn't care about your birthday? If yes, then probably he's planning something. Or if your boyfriend is too smart to predict, you have to wait and let the time decide.
#5 Your boyfriend is too disturbed
Maybe your man didn't get you anything for your birthday because he's too disturbed to plan anything.
It can be with his professional life, family, or something else. When people are disturbed by anything, they lack the charm of doing something special for their close people.
It's not their fault, and it doesn't even mean that your man doesn't love you. It is just the situation that isn't in favor.
To know whether your boyfriend is genuinely disturbed or not, monitor his all-over behavior very closely.
Did he tell you about any issues previously? Is that issue affecting other affairs of his life too? Or he's just pretending to stay disturbed with something only in front of you. Through evaluating these, you will understand why your boyfriend didn't plan anything for your birthday.
#6 He got some serious financial issues
Financial issues are another thing that causes the issue you're currently facing. Here you might say that he could've gotten you something very small, just as a gesture of love. Yeah, your argument is true, but I must tell you that financial problems affect a man from his core such badly that he loses interest in anything and everything in this world.
If you assume something like this, don't just be desperate and start fighting over why he didn't get you anything.
Rather, stay beside your partner, watch him close, and try to understand whether he's going through some serious financial crisis or not. Men hardly want to share their financial issues with their loved ones.
#7 You had a fight with your boyfriend
Your boyfriend may haven't got you something for your birthday because you had an intense fight over something with him.
It may come from your boyfriend's revenging mentality or some kind of bitterness in his mind created because of that fight.
Immediately after fights, emotional anger makes people do many such things that they would have never done in love. The worst ill effect of such fights is Ego, and here is Male Ego.
After some fight, if your boyfriend somehow develops a male ego, he would hardly get anything even for your birthday. It's indeed an evil habit of the human mind, but things are as it is.
If your boyfriend isn't talking to you anymore, didn't wish you your birthday, or wished you just formally recalled the events related to the fight, perhaps a strong evil ego has been developed within him, and it needed to be taken care of.
#8 Your boyfriend takes you for granted
If you've been in a relationship with your boyfriend for a very long time, and now your partner has stopped getting anything even for your birthday, maybe he has started taking you for granted.
This evil habit is prevalent mostly among men when they spend a long time in some relationship. During this phase, those men do not feel the need to do something special for their girls' birthdays.
If you notice that your boyfriend is hardly putting any effort into the relationship, lacks the basic charm, and often expects you to do everything, most possibly you're being taken for granted.
#9 He has failed to meet your expectations
Besides judging your boyfriend, it's mandatory to evaluate yourself too. Sometimes our partners do many things for us, but we often overlook them, saying this was to be done and that specific action for granted. If you keep doing this, your partner won't ever be able to meet your expectations.
I'm not asking you to mitigate your expectations from your boyfriend. But at least learn to recognize their action.
#10 He doesn't feel attached to you anymore
No matter what the reason is, if your boyfriend doesn't feel emotionally attached to you anymore, chances are less for him to get you anything for your birthday.
Obviously, this one should always be an extreme situation for you. If you notice that none of the previously mentioned reasons fit your symptoms, and your phenomenon is completely something else, this could be your case.
Observe your boyfriend's overall behavior with you. Doesn't he feel emotionally attached to you? Do you often lack topics to have conversations? Do you often get bored while being with him? If yes, the emotional detachment could be your reason.
What should you do?
Your boyfriend didn't get you anything for your birthday. You felt bad. But what next? Women start making the mistakes exactly from here. The most common thing that girls do is either start fighting over the issue or just stay quiet about it.
None of these actions eventually helps them to achieve the objective. In fact, after such incidents, most women don't even understand what their objective is or should be. They just fight over the issue and bring bitterness to the relationship.
You're indeed entitled to feel bad about your boyfriend's wrongdoings. But you must handle the situation strategically, not just out of anger or mere emotion.
First, you should set your objective of knowing the reason, and then you should set the course of your action to resolve the situation.
Below, I'll suggest a few such ideal actions you should follow after identifying the specific reason why your boyfriend didn't get you anything for your birthday.
#1 Keep patience
The most initial mistake that women make is losing their patience. Look, I can totally understand what may happen within your mind when a partner doesn't get anything for your birthday. I also admit that it's difficult to keep patience in such situations.
But is losing patience and fighting over it gonna solve your issue? No, right? I know you're a mature woman, and that's why you chose to land on this blog. Now please learn to keep patience.
Because, as something significant happened, you may need to walk long and walk strategically to solve it. By keeping your patience, you'll take the first step of giving both of you some time. And believe me, the time will speak.
#2 Evaluate yourself
If keeping patience is one of the best qualities of human character, then the ability to self-evaluation is one of the best skills. Self-evaluation is very important in this confusing situation you're currently going through.
Through this process, you'll understand what exactly made you feel so bad and what you actually expect from your boyfriend. Besides, you will get to know whether it's you who expects insanely or your boyfriend who has some serious issues. That's why, before taking any other action or saying anything to your boyfriend, evaluate yourself first.
#3 Observe and identify his gestures
Now, if you have evaluated yourself and are certain that it's your boyfriend who has some issues, it's time to observe his actions and identify his gestures.
Through the process of close observation and identification, you will be sure about the reason why he got nothing for your birthday.
Watch his behavior closely, notice if anything in him is changing or not, if he plans any surprise, whether he says sorry to you.
Match your assumed reason with his course of action, and you'll understand his phenomenon pretty easily.
#4 Have an open conversation
No matter what situation it is, open conversation is something that actually solves problems. That's why nobody should run away from having open conversations.
Tell your boyfriend that you've got some issues and wanna talk. Then start with how you felt when he didn't get anything for your birthday. Tell him what he means to you and why you expect him to do something for you. Don't hide any of your feelings.
Now it's time to hear his side too. Ask if he's going through some problems in his life. Listen to his words carefully, and analyze whether his concerns are genuine or not. If yes, then offer your help to him. Stay beside him.
This way, you'll not only solve your issue by making everything clear but also strengthen your relationship.
#5 Try spending some more quality time
If you assume that something is seriously wrong within your relationship during the open conversation, it's time to decide your next course of action. It's applicable when your boyfriend tries to hide something, takes you for granted, loses interest in you, and lacks the necessary spark.
In this situation, you should start with spending quality time with him. Spending quality time includes having meaningful conversations, watching movies or games together, being intimate (sexting in case of long-distance relationships), etc., which makes the relationship stronger.
Initially, if you put in 100% of your effort, you can expect at least 50% from him.
#6 Plan a special day for him
Maybe your boyfriend got nothing for your birthday; you should reciprocate by planning a special day for him.
You may ask, why on earth would you plan a special day for such a person who didn't even bother to get you anything for your birthday?
Look, as you're currently working on your relationship to resolve some issues, you've to do many things that you actually do not feel like doing.
By planning a special day for your boyfriend out of nothing, you'll try to make him realize his mistake and how important he is in your life.
But never back off from telling him how you actually felt due to his actions. So, this step will come only after having an open conversation with your boyfriend on the main issue.
Symptoms to identify the red flag
No matter how much you love your boyfriend, all effort has certain limitations. People be in relationships to live a good life with their loved ones. But continuous struggle and efforts to sustain the relationship eventually ruin the essence of the very bonding.
An endless effort isn't gonna help you find any solution for your issue. So, you must know where exactly you should stop. What is the red flag where you can be sure that the relationship isn't gonna work?
- Your boyfriend forgot your birthday. Not getting you anything is one thing, but entirely forgetting your birthday is another. If your boyfriend forgets your birthday and doesn't even bother to wish you (if you hadn't a fight), you don't even matter to him. No person in the world is too busy to wish his loved one's birthday.
- He doesn't try to give you enough time. Maybe he was too busy to arrange anything special for your birthday. But you had a conversation, told him you felt bad, and now you're trying to spend some quality time with him. But it's you who's putting in all your efforts. He doesn't even try to manage some time. In such a scenario, you must consider it as a red flag.
- He never does anything for the sake of the relationship. People do many things for the sake of their relationships, especially if some sort of problem goes on. If your boyfriend never does anything for the relationship despite you having an open conversation, be sure that he has other engagements and doesn't want to do anything for this relationship. This is a red flag for you.
- There is a lack of attachment. Suppose you feel that you can't connect anymore with your boyfriend, and he's reluctant to strengthen the connection again. In that case, you may consider this a 'stop.' When people learn to live without any emotional attachments with their partner, that relationship eventually becomes soulless. So, it's better to move on.
- You often feel unloved. Maybe it's not your boyfriend but you who has some problem with this relationship. Your boyfriend never meets your expectation, and you often feel unloved and not happy with him. In such cases, if you have already failed to work on yourself, you shouldn't stick to the relationship for long, This way, none of you will be happy in your life.
- No positive approach is working. If you have tried everything to make this relationship work for a long time, but nothing seems to work eventually, it's probably time to move on.
So hopefully, after going through this blog, you have understood why your boyfriend might haven't got you anything for your birthday and what you can do in this regard.
To this end, I just want to tell you that breaking up is very easy, like dying, but sustaining a relationship and working out some problems together is challenging, as our life is. Now the choice is yours, whether you'll choose life or death.
But also remember, being in some toxic soulless relationship is never good for your life. So, always keep yourself up on the priority list, love yourself the most, and lean when you should stop. You have a life ahead.