I Messed Up My Chance With Her: Signs and Next Steps

Relationships are not a cakewalk. It requires a lot of time and attention, and effort. So if you think you have proposed to your girl and she also likes you back, and your life is sorted, then you're completely wrong. 

A relationship has its ups and downs. So, sometimes you must be careful while dealing with different situations in your relationship. You can't and should never take your girlfriend for granted. If you think that an issue will be resolved on its own, you have to take a different approach. 

There will be moments in your relationship which will be very hard to deal with. You feel like giving up. But there is always a way to sort things out. However, this requires commitment and willingness from both sides. 

But sometimes, things go out of our hands. We can't control what's going to happen in our life beforehand. There may be a time when you have upset your girlfriend to such an extent that she is no longer too interested in keeping the relationship. She has been forgiving you for all your past mistakes. But even though she is a human being and she has her limits. Your mistakes have crossed her boundaries, and now she has lost her peace of mind. 

This time, you messed it up. And there is hardly any chance to resolve the issue and win your girlfriend back in your life again. 

But before we delve into how you can win back your girlfriend, you need to know the mess you have created. Boys often neglect small things and don't consider their partners' emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Thus, they end up unknowingly hurting their girlfriend. 

And when the time comes, and the girlfriend is super annoyed and upset with you, you are in complete shock. You don't realize the grave that you've created for yourself. Your girlfriend being a loving partner, has tried her best. She has understood your mistakes and given you multiple chances, yet you could not recognize or rectify them. 

So, let's look at the signs suggesting that you have messed it up with her this time.

10 Signs you messed up with a girl

Guys sometimes have no clue that they have created a mess. They carry on with their usual behavior until one day it hits them, that there is something lacking. So, if you're confused and don't know why your girlfriend is acting up like this, then check out the signs which will help you understand what's going on in her mind. 

#1 She doesn't talk to you

Was your girlfriend the one who called you, texted you, and initiated a conversation with you? And now you see a huge difference in her behavior? 

She is talking to you less. She only talks to you when you message or call her. Also, you are sharing everything on the call, and she is just a quiet listener there. 

She is upset with you, and this time she will not listen to your crap for long. She is going to burst out soon and end things with you. 

#2 She has deleted all your pictures from social media

Girls are not afraid of showing their affection. They are proud of their choices and don't shy away from showing it to the world whom they are dating. So, when you two were in your happy phase or even sad phase, she did not stop posting pictures with you. 

Either stories or permanent posts, she quite happily flaunted her relationship and the cutest moments with her partner on social media. 

But when she saw you have started taking her for granted and don't pay attention to her complaints, she started giving up on you. You will see that she has taken down all her photos with you from social media, which is a clear sign that you've messed up things with her. 

#3 She doesn't hang out with you anymore

A couple generally meets at least twice or thrice a week. Usually, they spend the weekends together, go on romantic dates, watch movies together and do a lot more fun activities. 

But you've noticed that your girlfriend is not interested in hanging out with you anymore. Even if it's a date in her favorite restaurant, she will give you an excuse or ditch you at the very last moment. And what is surprising is that her reasons are quite lame.

 She is not busy because you can see her having for her friends and family. But whenever it comes to you, she always comes up with a bunch of stupid reasons. 

It is a sign that she doesn't enjoy going out with anymore with you like she used to. In reality, she is hurt deep enough and doesn't feel that same vibe. Hence she is always saying "no" to your dates. 

#4 She avoids sharing her issues with you

Couples have their own comfort space. And when two partners are understanding and loving, usually they confide in each other. It's like having no inhibition between the partners. You can be your true self without any hesitation or any pretense. 

But lately, you have seen a drastic change in your girlfriend. The girl who even shared the littlest and least important things with you hardly shares anything. Even when she is going through a tough time, she chooses to choose a different shoulder, not yours.

It is very clear that she has lost her trust in you. She doesn't feel your company is secure and comfortable. And this surely means that you have lost your position this time. You have created a huge mess that is very hard to clear. 

#5 She hides her emotions from you

Yes, she has stopped reacting. Even if she is angry, sad, or totally mad at you, she chooses to be quiet. She is fed up with trying to make you understand your mistakes, and now she has reached her saturation point. She knows there is no point in reacting to you anymore because you will not change yourself. 

So, she has decided to keep all her emotions to herself. Slowly, she will also not have any affectionate emotion toward you, and you two will drift apart soon. 

#6 She is not bothered by your problems

Earlier, she was always the one who would pay full attention to all your problems. She would listen to you and try to devise solutions for you. She will go the extra mile to take you out of your distress. She could never see you in pain. 

For her, a relationship meant being with each other both at good and bad times. And as a loving, responsible girlfriend, she made sure she was with you no matter the circumstance. 

But now she doesn't care about your problems at all. She treats you like another friend and tells you to deal with your problem. Even if she listens to you, she will never pay attention to details. She will be distracted throughout and forgets that you're dealing with anything. Clearly, she is not invested in you as she was before. 

#7 She doesn't like your touch

Have you seen her being distant from you lately? If you attempt to hold her hand or hug her, she immediately moves to the other side or behaves oddly? Then, she is not comfortable with your company and your touch. Physical touch is a very important love language for every couple. 

But when you see your girlfriend is disinterested even with the simple, casual touches, there is something wrong. 

She feels insecure with you and wants to give you all sorts of hints that your relationship is on the verge of falling very soon. She doesn't want to give you any false hope by behaving the same as you two previously used to do. 

The relationship has lost its spark and charm. Also, touch is a very intimate thing for a couple. When a girlfriend doesn't feel safe and secure and has lost trust in her partner, she will drift apart from you as much as possible. 

#8 She has stopped making efforts

She is not the same person anymore. She doesn't take any initiative. She doesn't make plans. If you fight with her, she never urges you to solve it and tries to communicate with you. 

She has become a cold person who has stopped reacting to anything. She will not bring your favorite chocolate or miss her schedule to cheer you up for your soccer match. 

She is responding to the relationship just like a robot. There is no emotion or feelings attached to any of her actions. It's you who is trying to make it up to her by different means, but you are only getting cold or no reciprocation from her end.

 If you had made a simple mistake, you would not have gotten such responses. Since your mess is quite big this time, she has stopped making efforts. 

#9 She doesn't celebrate the special days

She is not interested anymore in celebrating the special days with you. Whether it's your birthday or your monthly or yearly anniversary, she has stopped thinking about these things completely. 

What does it mean? When you're no longer a special person in her life, when you have become the least important person, she will not celebrate these special days with you or for you. 

She will deliberately not wish you on your birthday or anniversaries. If you text her, she will respond to it. But it will not be in her usual way. The response will seem like any other text from a friend. 

She has lost the connection with you that she shared once with you. As she no longer feels the same for you, celebrating any special day is nothing but a burden for her. 

#10 She never talks about the future

You imagine a future with your partner when you're in a relationship. You have some special thoughts in your mind about the way you want to take the relationship forward. But you have sensed a distant vibe from your girlfriend. 

She never indulges in any future planning even though she was enthusiastic about it earlier. She always showed you pictures of wedding destinations, decor, or where she wanted to go on a vacation with you. She also talked about making you meet her parents. But now everything has changed. 

She never talks about any of those things. Rather whenever you bring up that topic, she diverts it. She starts talking about lame topics, hangs up the call, or stops replying to your texts. This is a clear sign that she does not see a future with you because you have messed up big time with her. 

How do you win your girl back after you messed up?

Now, you know the signs and what to expect from your girlfriend when you have messed up your chance with her. The next step is to know your action plan to how you can win her back. 

#1 Apologize sincerely

Apologies only work when it comes from the heart. If you genuinely love your girlfriend, you will feel guilty for hurting her so much. If you think sending her flowers or chocolates will melt her heart and solve everything, then you are wrong. 

Take time, but whenever you apologize, it must be genuine. She should not feel you're faking it and trying to get over the fight. 

#2 Actions speak louder

Just saying you will not make this mistake again, won't show your sincerity or love for her. So, you have to show it through your actions. If you have been a suspicious boyfriend and that's the reason you hurt her, then show her that you trust her. 

Don't call or text her friends about what she is doing or with whom she is. She will see that you trust her and are not suspicious about her. 

#3 Put efforts

You have to take the initiative to stop your relationship from falling apart. You have to make extra efforts to keep it working. Show her how much you love her. Listen to her, try to understand her perspective, and act accordingly. 

Try to eliminate your mistakes, rectify them and implement the good ones in your habit and behavior. 

#4 Admit your mistake

Nothing is better than acknowledging your mistake. She will understand that you are genuinely sorry when she sees that you are accountable for your mistake. She will be up for giving you another chance. 

Don't wait for her to point out your mistake; understand it on your own, accept it, and before she says anything, apologize to her.

#5 Give her space

This is a sensitive time; maybe she wants some space and time to reflect upon the situation. If you keep pestering her throughout the period, she will be more pissed off with you and think that you don't even respect her time and space. 

So, let her be on her own for a while and give her some time to mend things up. 

#6 Pay heed to her problems

You have to listen to her patiently and be attentive to understand her point of view. You need to understand why your actions have hurt her and if she has any other expectations from you that you've been unable to fulfill. 

Ask her what she wants and how she can bring changes to your unacceptable behavior. 

#7 Wait for her

Just because she has stopped giving you attention doesn't mean you will start looking for other girls. So, don't indulge in any activity that might hurt her again when she thinks of giving you another opportunity. 

Show her your genuine care for her by waiting. She will understand that you truly love her and can't live without her. 

#8 Tell her that you miss her

There's no shaming in telling your girlfriend that you miss her. You miss going out with her; you miss talking to her. You miss her old self. Be frank about your feelings. Girls always appreciate honesty and emotions from their partners. 

When you openly communicate your feelings to her, she gets a chance to see your inner side. This also develops a deeper connection and bond between you two. 

Final words

There will be times in your relationship when it will go through really rough patches. But if you love your girl, you must overcome all sorts of obstacles. You have to fight for your love. 

Never give up easily. Even if she has given you signs that there is no way this relationship can be smooth again, you have to try your best. 

And always remember one thing, when there is true love, there is always a way.