Why Does He Only Like Me When He's Drunk? (ANSWERED)He says he likes you only while being drunk because he is not comfortable sharing his true feelings as a sober man. He likes you but doesn't dare to say that to your face yet. He waits for the "perfect moment," but unfortunately, that doesn't arrive until he's drunk enough.
Being drunk often brings out the truest version of a person. Some people start blurting out truth bombs (mostly involuntarily) after a few drinks.
He is a friend. He treats you like a bro when he is sober, but the minute he gets drunk, you get texts that prove that you are not much of a bro to him. The man likes you.
We have seen drunk people telling the truth in numerous movies and sitcoms. They become the most uncensored versions of themselves. Remember the singing Sheldon Cooper when Penny slipped him an alcoholic drink (without him knowing that) at the Cheesecake Factory in The Big Bang Theory? Or, the different stages of drunk Amy Santiago in Brooklyn Nine-Nine?
The behavior of this man we are discussing is extremely frustrating for the person at the receiving end because when the effects of alcohol wear off, the sober person never admits his true feelings for you. Instead, he kind of denies it to your face, and that brings you here with questions and in search of answers to those questions.
Well, I am here to help.
Ten reasons why…
He admits his affection for you only when he is drunk, and that can have a range of reasons. The first thing that comes to mind is that he is not ready to admit his true feelings when sober. That's one of the simplest reasons one could think of.
However, other reasons can also be there. But most of them beat around the fact that he is not ready to accept his feelings yet. Let's see what a drunk mind thinks. Read on.
#1 He is not ready yet
He is not yet ready to admit that he likes you. But his drunkenness has already done the job for him. Now, the situation has turned complicated with you knowing about his feelings and him not knowing that you know.
He is taking his time to say that he likes you. His decisions should be respected. He must have some reason for this.
He can be a shy person who takes a lot of time to compose a confession. He might also be someone who gets all nervous and jittery around people, much like Raj Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory.
#2 His sober mind doesn't like you at all
He doesn't like you much when he is sober. You seem attractive to him only when he is drunk. The more he drinks, the hotter you look. That is absolutely demeaning for you.
Nobody should be at the receiving end of such abominable behavior. He is basically playing with your feelings. He should learn to take responsibility for his actions and his words even when he is drunk.
#3 His sober self is dating someone else
He is dating someone else. You occupy a part of his mind, though. He thinks about you (but not always consciously). He can't do anything about it because of his relationship with this other person.
So, whenever he gets drunk, his mind gives up the barrier, and a gate opens, pouring out all his feelings for you. If you try to talk about it later, he will probably deny saying any of that when he is sober.
#4 He finds you pretty when he is drunk
This is a classic instance of people focusing on looks more than the actual person. You are his friend, and it's okay if he is not attracted to you. You guys can platonically love each other just like Penny loved Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory.
But the problem arises when he suddenly finds you pretty after getting drunk. He even says he likes you. If that's what he thinks of you, he should be able to say that to you when he is sober. Otherwise, he is just another shallow guy who runs for looks and destroys a great friendship.
#5 He says that to everyone when he is drunk
He says, "I really, really like you," to almost everyone when drunk. You are not the only person who has faced this. In this case, there is nothing to feel special.
If you acquire high hopes about his "feelings" for you ─ I am sorry ─ you are in for a heartbreak. He couldn't care less about you. You mean nothing to him, and so do all the other people he "likes" after getting drunk.
#6 He is afraid of letting you know his true feelings
He once disclosed his feelings for a person only to get his heart broken. He never admits his true feelings for you because he fears falling in love. He can trust no one with this.
He only blurts out that he likes you when he is a super-drunk. His tipsy mind discloses his well-kept secret. He will deny his feelings at first when you confront him about this.
However, he can confide in you when he realizes you are not like the others who have broken his heart so many times. He is a sensitive person and needs to be dealt with care.
#7 You have rejected him once in the distant past
He can't say that he likes you because you rejected him once a long time ago. He remembers the past vividly and makes his decisions according to that. That is not a very healthy practice. The old you must have rejected him for some reason, but that is in the past now. Past rejection doesn't mean you will reject him again if he approaches you.
He is just scared of the embarrassment of hearing the "no" from you twice in a lifetime. His fear robs him of a chance of getting a "yes" out of you.
#8 You are dating someone else
His drunk self says he likes you, but the sober one can't because you are already with someone else. He believes you have no romantic space for him in your heart and therefore never says anything about his feelings consciously.
While being sober, he does not want to disturb the romantic bliss that you have with the person you are presently dating. He will keep his feelings to himself forever if the situation demands so.
He probably does not even know what he says while being drunk and will be oblivious to that until you disclose it to him (which he might find extremely embarrassing).
#9 He thinks you are someone else when he is drunk
Alcohol messes up his mind. He hits on you whenever he is drunk. That is not because he is in love with you. He thinks you are someone else.
His blurred vision after drinking too much morphs your face into someone else's, and that is where all the confusion comes from. The result is a giant misunderstanding about romantic feelings that have brought you here looking for answers.
#10 He is not ready to accept how he feels about you
Now, this can happen in two scenarios:
- You guys are great friends, but he has been feeling differently about you for some time now. He loves spending time with you even when the other friends from your group are not around.
That day when you guys casually held hands while crossing a busy road, he felt a spark. That clearly means he likes you.
But how to admit your feelings to a friend? What if they laugh away your feelings? Is it even right to feel like this? These are the questions invading his mind right now.
He cannot accept the fact that he likes you and the constant suppression of that feeling makes him talk about it when drunk.
- You guys are not on good terms. You have never liked each other in the past. Your common friends are habituated to mediating nasty fights between you two whenever you meet.
But for the last few days, he has felt a bit different around you. When your hands touched while picking up the last piece of pizza, he felt a spark the other day. He even let you have it (which is very unlikely of him).
You finally got to know the reason later that night when he got drunk and said, "I hate to admit this, but I think I am falling for you."
Things you can do…
Confrontation with the truth is the best way to deal with this situation. Whatever the reason may be, he feels something about you – something special. If his drunken affection bothers you, you can try to get the truth out of him.
But you need to be careful in this venture. You wouldn't want to upset this person if you still want him in your life as a friend.
Let's find out what you can do. Keep scrolling down.
#1 Talk to him when he is not drunk
It is best not to talk to him when he is drunk. Instead, choose a time when he is sober to talk about how he truly feels for you. Get him to discuss the seriousness of what he has been saying for a while after getting drunk.
Talking about his drunken words might help him admit his feelings. However, refrain from intimidating him at any cost. Remember, your focus should be on getting the truth out of him. Be extra polite of the situation demands.
#2 Ask him how he feels about you, directly
Don't beat around the bush. Ask him directly about his feelings for you. Remind him what he said while being drunk and also mention how it made you feel.
You can say things like
- Why do you keep saying you like me when you are drunk?
- Do you really like me?
- I heard what you said the other day at the party. I feel the same about you.
- Say that you like me now if you really do.
#3 Make him listen to the voice messages
If he had sent you drunk texts or voice messages saying he likes you, you have enough proof to question him about the matter. He has made you feel things and therefore is answerable to you.
If he is serious about you, he must lose his inhibitions and admit his feelings when he is not drunk. If he refuses to do that repeatedly, he is either a very rude person who doesn't deserve you or a person who is scared to talk about what he feels.
#4 Tell him how you feel about him
He says he likes you whenever he is drunk, making you feel things. You have started to acquire feelings for him, but whenever you talk to him about what he said the other night, he blatantly denies that.
Just tell him the truth. Sit him down and tell him how you feel. Say that his words have started to make you feel things, and you are falling for him.
His reaction to this discussion will determine the future of your relationship with him. Whatever he says, it is up to you if you want to stay friends with him or quietly part ways.
#5 Ask him to quit being afraid of you
If you feel he is afraid of you for some reason and is stopping him from admitting his feelings for you, ask him to quit being afraid. Tell him there is nothing to be scared of, and he can say anything to you.
Mention what he said while being drunk the other night. He might feel a little embarrassed at first but knowing that you already know it will make it easier for him to say that he likes you to your face.
#6 Help him accept his feelings
He is probably not accepting his feelings because he feels you might not reciprocate. You can help him accept his feelings.
If you guys have been friends for a long time, comfort him and say that you like him too (if you actually like him) and that he doesn't need to be afraid to say anything to you. Say that you have heard what he said while he was drunk.
If you guys have never been on good terms, the way of dealing with the situation will be a bit different. If you, too, have feelings for him, most of your work is done. You have to say that to him.
However, if you don't feel the same, you can politely ask him to stop behaving like that while being drunk as it disturbs your mental peace. Tell him that his drunk feelings for you make you uncomfortable.
#7 Ask him to reconsider his present relationship
If you feel that he has fallen for you while being in another relationship, ask him to reconsider the present one. If he truly were in love with his present partner, he would never have said that he likes you even while being drunk.
Tell him that he is fooling no one but himself. Ask him to talk to his partner about this. If he chooses to stay with them, then I am sorry; you have missed your chance to date him. However, if he breaks out of that relationship, you guys can start dating.
#8 Talk to his friends to learn more
His friends know him better than anyone. Talk to them to find out more about his feelings for you.
You heard him say that he liked you a couple of times when he was drunk. His friends can tell you if he talks about you while being sober. They might know how he feels about you and whether his affection is true or not.
#9 If you are not interested in a romantic relationship with him, let him know
It's not a crime if you are not into him. By now, it is quite an established fact that he likes you. But that doesn't mean you have to like him back.
Let him know if you are not interested in a romantic relationship with him. Say that you don't like him the way he likes you. You can assure him to stay friends, though (which is technically sending him to the friend zone).
Here are a few things you can say
- I heard what you said the other day. I am sorry to say that I don't feel the same about you
- I am already in a relationship. (If he is unaware of your love life)
- I have never seen you as anything other than a friend.
- I am so sorry to disappoint you. Mentally, I am not really in a place to be in a relationship right now.
#10 Ghost him if he bothers you too much
Start ghosting him or just block him if he bothers you too much. You can dry text him as well. That might make him lose interest in you which will make him stop all the drunk texts and voices that spam your inbox.
You don't have to deal with a person who makes you feel uncomfortable in any way. Especially if the person blatantly denies doing that. He should either stop bothering you with his drunk texts, or he should just own up to it, honestly.
To sum up
Alcohol can bring out the weirdest sides of a human being. When sober, he is just a friend whom you hang out with. When drunk, he turns into this weepy person who keeps on saying he likes you and behaves likewise.
If you are not okay with his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde transitions whenever you are at a party or the bar, let him know and collect enough evidence to make him believe what he does when drunk in case he denies it.
A mature conversation about where you guys stand, relationship-wise, will help neutralize the situation. There is nothing conversations can't solve.