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He Has a Girlfriend but Wants to be Friends [Decoded]

Relationships can get monotonous. It is healthy for both partners to have opposite-gender friends. It keeps them light-hearted. You can be his friend if you get friendly vibes from him. Featured Image of He Has a Girlfriend but Wants to be Friends

It goes unacknowledged by many how relationships can hamper our other relations with friends and family. One such instance is the dilemma of whether to be friends or not to be friends with a guy who has a girlfriend.

This could be looked upon from various angles. First, what do you feel about him? Do you like this guy? Do you feel friendly towards him? Are you his ex? Are you his girlfriend's best friend?

Depending upon your stance with the guy, you must decide how you want to mold the friendship. Do you feel the guy is a pervert? Is there a chance that he might be looking for adultery? 

Read below to find out.

Reasons why a guy with a girlfriend wants to be your friend

Having a female friend, besides a girlfriend, can prove to be an added advantage in multiple ways. Guys don't quite discuss things as openly with their girlfriends at once as they would do with their female friends.

I've discussed this and other possible reasons for a guy with a girlfriend who wants to be your friend. Continue reading below to find out more.

#1 He likes you 

The first and foremost thought that comes to mind when we see a guy's friend request popping up on our Facebook or Instagram handles is that he might have found us attractive. 

Liking someone, however, can have various dimensions to it. It need not be physical, though that is mostly the case. A person can like you for your thoughts. But thinking that a guy likes you for what you think can be too much to gulp down at once. 

A man, however, with an age gap, can make it possible. He can genuinely like you for the thoughts you own. This man can be your professor in a live-in relationship but extends his hands to become friends. 

The possibilities here are endless. But that is beside the point. What you must account for here is your comfort. Remember, our life, to a certain extent, is defined by the people we keep. 

#2 It's the looks you give him 

If you look at him in a certain way, if your eyes sparkle when he crosses your sight, if you stare at him from the corner of your eyes, it certainly means you have a crush on him. 

If you are single, and this is an episode of a high-school romance, there is scope to switch partners or dump one because you caught the feeling for another!

Moreover, if his girlfriend never looked at him the way you do, or in their case, it has become a thing of the past, he would be more interested in you. 

His friendship, given this situation, is a clear-cut advancement in your direction. He is craving that renewed form of love, which begins with the foundation of friendship, and admiration for one another. 

#3 You are heartbroken 

If you have recently come out of a breakup and were among the popular couples in the town, you would be the talk of the town.

In such a scenario, two kinds of guys would approach you. One would be the one to show false sympathy to get close to you. The other would be the real ones. They want to support and comfort you.

The former in the lot would mostly be single. They are looking for whatever they can get, an event stand. The latter, however, could be genuine people. They are trying to reach you despite having a girlfriend. 

You can test the generosity of the last lot by asking them to hang out with you in the presence of their girlfriend. The response would give you a hint about their character. Moreover, if their girlfriend knows about you, it will bring you confidence that they might not be ill at heart.

#4 He is a womanizer 

If the guy is a womanizer, he might be extending his friendship to almost all women on his friend list and perhaps going on multiple dates too. Don't be too surprised when you find out that his girlfriend is aware of his affairs.

Women get hints when they date a womanizer. They choose to stay with them because either they are amoral in their conduct themselves or certain perks come along while dating them. Such women dwell in realism and are not shocked by such events.

Hence, be your messiah. Keep such guys at bay. Please don't give them your numbers or tell them where you are staying. If need be, report their conduct to the authority. 

#5 You have many guy friends 

If you are among the girls who go easy on guys but fail to keep up with the femininity-obsessed women, to put it precisely, if you are a tomboy or famous as one, it shouldn't come as a surprise that another guy wants to be your friend.

The only condition when it would be surprising to you is when this guy is the one for whom you always had a soft corner in your heart. You have observed him playing basketball, and you know nobody could match him! 

If your heart beats faster when this guy is around, even when you know he is perhaps dating the diva of town, you will be overwhelmed. Naturally, in a case such as this, you would wonder if there could be any specific reason for his interest in you.

The possible reason is that you are beautiful, and he has never seen a girl like you. There are no unnecessary tantrums when it comes to dealing with you. He perhaps enjoys your company. Give him an opportunity, and you never know, that might prove to be the best decision of your life!

#6 You are his girlfriend's best friend 

Every guy has a fantasy to date his girlfriend's best friend and a wish to be in her good books. He knows he might hold the key to his girlfriend's heart, but the key to her mind is with her best friend. 

If your best friend's boyfriend approaches you with an extended arm of friendship, he surely fears your influence on his girlfriend's mind or is captivated by your power and charm.

Guys find powerful women attractive. While some get offended by the boldness of women, the patriarchal lot; however, with the emancipation of women and the upgradation of society through reorientation into a world of equality and positive feminism, most men admire a woman who exercises her tongue coherently.

#7 You used to see each other 

If you have had a fling with a guy who is now committed to someone but insists on keeping you as a friend, there are two possibilities. First, he wants to have more episodes of a fling with you without the knowledge of his girlfriend. He feels that you two have shared a level of comfort where your body understands each other. 

Second, he fears you might share your past with his girlfriend. The fear gets stronger when you have clicked pictures of a personal taste together. He wants to be your friend, to be in your good books so that he is always in your confidence and the relationship you two have shared in the past remains an unacknowledged secret.

#8 You are prettier 

If you are prettier than the girl this guy sees, he is perhaps more attracted to you than his girl. These things can be tricky, but physical attraction is something very common. 

In such a case, don't shy away from asking him why he wants to be your friend. Hear his answer. He would either use this opportunity to flirt with you or would try to come across as a genuine person with kind intentions at heart. 

Don't buy the latter. If there is any reason why guys are interested in pretty girls, it's because they are pretty. The rest of the story that they narrate is a tool to impress. 

If you find the person interesting, you might accept the offer of friendship with the suggestion of keeping things virtual. If not, you don't have to pay a great deal of weightage to his words.

#9 He is the sugar daddy 

If the guy approaching you appeal to be someone who loves to do favors, and support women, in exchange for the company, he is a sugar daddy. Such a person won't hesitate to offer friendship when seeing a pretty woman. 

If you accept the friendship of a sugar daddy, be aware that he must be powerful and dominative. It won't all be very pleasing at the end of the day. He would reduce you to eye candy. Having umpteen knowledge of what is at stake before betting is wise. 

#10 You are wealthy 

If you're wealthy, the guy might have wished you to be foolish too. He might not opt for dating you. Guys like to maintain wealthy female friends for their generosity. 

He might seek your help to please his girlfriend. You might have ideas of what fancy dates look like. He might use your resources to plan one for his date. 

Such friendships are harmless because these guys always have your back. They won't sell off your secret, and they will give you emotional support. Each of you can benefit from such a friendship in your way. We can call it a two-in-one treat!

#11 He trusts you

There is a chance that the guy has a girlfriend but not many friends. Even his girlfriend might be insisting on making friends. This guy could be an introvert

He might have had an episode with you which proved to him that you are a trustworthy person. Remember, many people observe us. Our natural self might attract others. 

This guy might feel that a friendship with you will not only be beautiful but enriching too. If you are a member of social clubs, you might come across as an interesting personality. Moreover, if the guy's girlfriend is an introvert like him, they can benefit from your company. 

What to do when a guy with a girlfriend wants to be your friend?

Being friends with a guy who comes with a girlfriend could be fun and stimulating when you think about it from a broader perspective. You are not only getting a decent friend you can hang out with, but harmless flirting in the background could be happening too.

However, your decision should be based on how you feel about the guy. Whether you like him in general or not, accordingly read below and find out what should be your next step.

If you like him 

When you like a person, you like to stay close to them to satiate your curiosity even if you don't get to date them. The funny exchanges, tagging each other on memes, and setting a basic standard for the kind of guy you want to date will come along with it. 

Read below to find out what you should do when a guy you like, and has a girlfriend, wants to be your friend.

#1 Friendship is harmless 

While friendship is, in a way, a form of commitment, it differs from commitment. No promises are made, and the chances of having a guilty conscience are nowhere in the book.

As friends, you can hang out together, help each other, and keep it smooth. There is even a tendency for you to get to know him closer than his girlfriend. You can drink to each other's health and be merry.

#2 There's always scope for the future 

Starting a relationship with friendship doesn't mean that the tag of friends cannot be upgraded to something more special. Similarly, dating someone doesn't mean that they would never split apart. After all, life is all about probabilities. It is a game of cards.

When you like a person who is committed but looks forward to being your friend, the statement is beaming with possibilities. You need not go anywhere else—count on your luck, and your affection for him.

I don't mean to say that you should be needy. Be anything but that. However, hope is a good thing.

#3 Be courteous 

You don't have to say a yes or a no when an offer of friendship is drawn toward you. You can smile and see how it goes. It would imply that you are in the process of getting to know each other. 

It is similar to initiating a relationship. You don't get committed at once. You begin by getting to know. You check the vibe. You go on dates. 

In the case of friendship, you talk, make conversation, and share notes. It is not necessary that all friendships are everlasting, or it would work out in one go. You must put as much effort into the sustenance of a friendship as you do in a relationship, and sometimes even more. 

#4 Don't keep room for regrets 

It is better to take a chance than to keep room for regret. You like a guy and care only about the guy. Give your best to him. Sometimes, our current partner doesn't value us as much as a crush would do. 

At the end of the day, it's neither the looks nor money that counts. It's sustainability and stability. How comfortable you make the other person feel. How caring you are. Do you enjoy the time spent together? 

These are the nitty-gritty of a long-lasting friendship. Work on these goals. Be faithful. You might enjoy their friendship more than if you had been in a relationship.

#5 Familiarize yourself with his girlfriend 

If you like him, but you don't want things to go astray, you can ask him to introduce you to his girlfriend. If he is comfortable about it, he has no other intentions at heart. However, if he hesitates or makes excuses, understand his intentions at once. He is interested in everything unrelated to friendship, more so a friend-with-benefit. 

Some guys and girls maintain such friends with benefits outside their relationship without knowing their partner. It primarily friends upon what's your take on it. Even if you indulge him, try to keep control of limits with yourself. Never allow him to have the upper hand on you. And opt for this only if you are certain not to have a guilty conscience. 

#6 Ask your boyfriend (if he is your boyfriend's friend) 

If you are not single, and a guy who is already seeing someone suddenly shows up in your life, behaves in a friendly manner, and extends his friendship to you, talk about it to your boyfriend. 

There is no need to hide things from your boyfriend. You can use his advice and circle to learn more about this guy. He might be one of your boyfriend's mutual friends. 

Engaging your boyfriend would also benefit you as the guy would know his limit well. He would be cautious whenever he says and before whatever actions he takes. 

#7 Keep it virtual  

If you enjoy the attention you get from this guy, it doesn't matter if he is committed as long as you keep things virtual. Think of it as if you are dating Siri. Let him be your robotic boyfriend. 

You are not making out for real, and you are not engaging in foreplay or even meeting him. You don't need to share your location, and you are not to share your photographs if you are uncomfortable.

You can mold it the way you like. You can ask him questions if you want to view the world from a man's eyes. The perspective broadens itself and gets interesting. 

If you don't like him 

When you don't like him, there are many ways to shut the door in his face. If you want to do it politely, reject him with a bar of chocolate. If you don't care enough, the task is easier. 

Keep reading below to find out more.

#1 Keep him out of your league 

Don't let the guy feel comfortable around you. Stay with your group. When you surround yourself with people of your kind, no one will easily try to invade your circle and come inside. 

Show this person that he is out of your league. If he truly wants to be your friend, he will hustle to find a way around. He might even need first to make friends with the easygoing lot in your group and eventually climb the ladder to reach you.

#2 Don't exchange numbers 

If you are not certain about the guy's intention, it is better not to exchange numbers so the first go. You need to understand that the nature of liking is relative. 

You might not like someone physically, but you would like it if they treated you nicely. Don't be too harsh on your judgment. See how this guy treats you. 

If he is gentle, makes you feel secure, radiates warmth, and treats you perhaps as family, there is ultimately no harm in befriending such a person. Don't shy doors on people if they make you feel at home. 

#3 Be upfront 

Honesty is harmless, even if bitter. When you don't want something to happen, you step back. It might not be polite, but it saves time and unnecessary effort. 

The drawback is that no one would gather the courage to befriend you again if the word is out. The world would know that it is not that easy to keep you by their side, not until they have won your heart. 

#4 Introduce him to your boyfriend 

Introducing a guy to your boyfriend, who is newly showing interest in your life despite being committed, could keep his movements in check unless, of course, he is your guy's friend. 

It will even help you stay faithful in your relationship and strengthen your boyfriend's trust in you. The guy who wants to befriend you would also understand that you're a special person. You don't allow a free pass to anyone just like that.

#5 Let him prove he is worthy of your friendship 

You don't have to make an immediate response. Keep an eye on his next move. If he does something in particular to win your attention or to impress you, it might be worth a shot. 

If with time, he forgets all about you, he wasn't worth your time. Learn to value yourself. The time and attention you invest in others are special. You shouldn't give your undivided attention to someone who has too much on his plate already to look after.

#6 Be platonic 

There's no harm in accepting a friendship with someone you don't like as long as you keep the relationship platonic. You can be vocal about it. 

It would be a decent sense of vibing along, succeeded by similar taste to eventually enjoying each other's company. No harm would be done, and no mention or excessive thinking would be needed.

#7 Play the card of ignorance 

The easiest move to make is no move at all. When you play the card of ignorance, you stay passive. When you become unresponsive, the guy will feel he has no chance and has hit a dead end. 

He might wonder that either your account is not active or you are not a texter. Either way, it is no big deal. Or he will take you to be an arrogant person, which is the right impression to leave on a person you don't care about.

Summing up 

When a guy who has a girlfriend wants to be a friend, give the friendship an opportunity if you like the guy enough. Friendship in itself is a beautiful relationship. If you never take the chance, you might escape what might have become a wonderful experience for life.

Suprity Acharyya


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