Girlfriend Says She Needs Space and Time to Think (Here's Why)If your girlfriend says so, you might be in a difficult situation and will only think of the negative. However, she can only want some alone time which will never impact your relationship. But if you two had gone through a rough patch or are having constant problems, there are some negative vibes when she says so.
A relationship comes with tons of responsibilities. We all dream of having happily-ever-after, but to get to that requires a lot of effort and time. If you think that the path of a relationship is only going to be full of roses, cuddles, and romantic dinner, then you need to come out of your bubble.
Even a happy couple will have differences. After all, you two are two separate individuals. You will have different choices and desires. And every relationship has its own sweet and bitter phases.
Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you can't have your own life. Some couples have a pretty healthy relationship even while having a life of their own.
But the problem arises when one partner needs more of that "me time" and stops enjoying the "we time." Both of them are equally important, and you can't have a peaceful relationship if you start prioritizing one over the other. You need to find a balance, and that's when you can have a smooth ride.
There can be various meanings to it. If you are going through a situation like this, it will be hard to deal with. It becomes more difficult for partners who are emotionally too attached to their girlfriends.
But the best way to figure out why she has said so is to know the various meanings.
Before we jump off and see the meanings attached when a girlfriend asks for time and space, we must know why space is important in a relationship.
Is space important in a relationship?
Well, one might think that you don't need space when you're in a relationship. What's the point of being in a relationship when you two people are leading two different lives, and the comfort of being with each other is missing? You would rather call it a friendship, right?
But just think for a moment. You two have only each other and nothing else. You have the same day; you go on that fixed Friday night date and follow a routine. Even if you two are deeply in love with each other, won't there be a time in the relationship where you will feel stuck?
Your relationship can be super fun even when you have your own life. You have your own set of friends, hobbies, work, etc. When one partner gets too much into the other partner's life, it can get a tad bit annoying.
Definitely, a relationship means sharing life. But even in that, you can hang out with your friends, spend some alone time yet love and care for each other.
Space is very much needed for individual and personal growth. The more you will grow yourself, the more fun and excitement you will be able to bring into that relationship.
But you might ask, how much space is too much space? Well, that the both of you have to decide. You can't let go of your relationship just because you want to live your life fully. Everything has its right amount.
So, talk to each other and figure out what works best for you. If not updating each other about every detail of your life is fine, then go ahead and do so. If you feel once in a while, you should go on a trip just with your friends and not include your girlfriend or boyfriend, that's also fine.
As long as you trust, love, care and understand each other, space will never be the third wheel in your relationship. Rather, a little bit of space will work in your favor, and you two will have a stress-free relationship.
Now, let's begin and find out what it means when your girlfriend says she needs time and space to think.
10 Possible reasons why your girlfriend said she needs space and time to think
Why is your girlfriend saying so? Does she mean something else? Does she want to end the relationship? Your mind will go through all sorts of thoughts.
#1 She wants to take it slow
It's good to give your relationship its own sweet time. If you want to be quick and do everything in a hurry, it can lead to other obstacles.
When you two have started very recently, it's best to take things slowly. If you start planning everything too soon, like your future, marriage plans, and introducing your girlfriend to your friends and family, she can feel intimidated.
It can be more difficult for your girlfriend when you two meet on a dating app. So, your girlfriend requires some space and time to process everything. She is not in the same headspace as you are regarding the relationship.
It doesn't mean she is not serious about you. But she prefers to take things at a slow pace. Hence she is asking for some time and space.
#2 She wants to focus on her career
School sweethearts often face this problem. They start on a very good note. They don't think about the world or their future when they are in love. But the issue arises when you grow up.
If you two have been a couple since your school or college days, you are more likely to encounter this problem. Your girlfriend wants to focus on her career. She is not going away from the relationship, but she gives more priority to her career than the relationship.
Perhaps she wishes to study in college, for which she has to move out, or she has got a job in a different city, she is confused. That's why she is asking for some time and space to think and reflect on which decision will be right for her.
#3 She can't trust you again
Did you two fight? Did you hurt your girlfriend's feelings or break her trust? If you two had been in a similar situation, your girlfriend might just need some time off from the relationship before taking things ahead.
It becomes very difficult to regain the trust that has been broken. There can be several reasons for a fight between a couple, but trust is the foundation of any relationship. If you by any means have shaken that trust for your girlfriend, it will take some time to rebuild again.
She has not yet recovered from the pain of the past fight. She still can't accept that you would be ever disloyal to her. She feels only a bit of time away from the relationship will help her get through the entire situation.
#4 She is upset with you
Your girlfriend can be upset for many reasons. It doesn't always have to be cheating or a big fight. Maybe you forgot to wish her a birthday, or you haven't been able to make time for her enough; she will be upset with you.
She has told you repeatedly to change your behavior. But you haven't paid enough attention to her. She tried her best to keep with you, giving you extra time, trying to sort things out. Yet she missed the necessary care and love from your end.
All these made her upset, and she wants to take some time off to make you understand your mistake. She is not thinking of breaking off the relationship; rather she is giving you a chance to understand your fault, work on it and make it work again.
#5 She feels distant from you
Although LDR couples go through many dry phrases in their relationship due to the distance, different time zone issues, and inability to meet and spend time, normal couples can also go through the same. Every relationship requires effort, and one of them is to make your partner feel loved and wanted.
When your girlfriend sees a lack of attachment from your side, she is the only one keeping things afloat; she would start feeling distant from you. You might think everything is going well. But if you dig deeper, you will feel that there is no warmth in the relationship.
It has become like a mundane routine. She is missing your sweet, romantic gestures that you cannot understand. Hence she feels that taking some time and space off will make you realize her worth.
#6 She is talking to another guy
If your girlfriend is talking to another guy for whom she might be developing some feelings, you are in an unfortunate situation. Of course, she is wrong on her part if she is talking to some other guy outside of the relationship.
But you also have to think if there has been wrong in the relationship. If you have hurt her unknowingly? Is she doing it to make you feel jealous?
However, if you find her aloof from the relationship, not giving enough time to you, not even wanting to meet you, something is going on. Follow her behavior for a while, and you'll find out whether she has been hiding something from you.
If she is into another guy and eventually plans to move out of this relationship, she will find a way to tell you this.
However, she is dreading breaking up with you all of a sudden. So, she will give you different hints to get the vibe. And the first step to breaking off the relationship is to tell you that she wants some space and time to think.
#7 She is going through personal issues
In an ideal relationship, a partner usually shares her feelings or problems with the other one. But there can sometimes be when the issues are too deep or too personal such as family issues. If your girlfriend has similar problems, she might need some time from you.
My friend Megan had gone through a rough patch like this in her relationship. Her parents were on the verge of separation, and at that time, she wanted to be completely alone. She didn't want her boyfriend to know everything about her family issues at the beginning.
She didn't want him to get involved in all these things and get a negative vibe from her family. So, she decided to take some days off. She told him she would talk after some time. Also, she would prefer if he did not ask anything about her family.
So, even if you have been in a long-term relationship, your girlfriend might not feel comfortable sharing every little family detail with you. If something too personal is going on in her life, she would rather take some time off and deal on her own than let it impact your relationship with her.
#8 She feels taken for granted
Have you started taking your relationship too lightly? Well, you have dug your hole. The moment a girl starts feeling that she is taken for granted, the relationship comes to a standstill.
A girl who is in love with you and is committed to you will go to all lengths to make you feel loved. But when she feels that her love is not reciprocated, she is not valued by her boyfriend; she will feel sad. She will feel that you have lost interest in her and the relationship has lost its importance to you.
So, she would think that it's better to give you some space and time to figure out what's happening in the relationship. She will say that she wants space and time, but she actually wants you to think and work on it.
#9 She is just busy
You really don't need to worry about this situation. Your girlfriend is not taking a break from this relationship or has not stopped loving you either. She is just super busy with her life.
Maybe a lot of things are happening at the same time. Perhaps her sister is getting married, or she is trying for a job change. All in all, it's not a serious situation.
In the circumstances like this, you are the only one who will give her comfort and peace. So, she knows that you would understand her problem and would not get upset if she couldn't meet you one day.
You will respect her work life and family life, and if she is unable to talk to you for hours, you won't make a big deal out of it.
She has told you how hectic her schedules are with the hope that you would cooperate with her in every step.
#10 She wants to end things
We all know that relationships have their ups and downs. But some couples can't go through the downs anymore and decide to part ways.
Your girlfriend perhaps has given you many chances. She has tried to make this work. Unfortunately, she is not willing to put in any more effort.
When the problems are too much, when you face constant conflicts, and there are no solutions, you have to come to a decision.
Your girlfriend feels now is the time to end things. Hence she is asking for some time and space. She also wants to wait for the right moment to bring this topic and communicate clearly with you.
Again she is giving you some time to prepare as well. This buffering time will help both of you to be ready and accept the harsh truth and move on smoothly.
What Should You Do When Your Girlfriend Says She Needs Time and Space to Think
You have now understood what your girlfriend can mean if she asks for some time and space to think. You know why she needs to think. But meanwhile, what should you do? Should you wait this period out?
- Listen to her. Listening is very important. If she has personal issues or news time to focus on work or studies, you must give her that space. And for that, you need to listen to her problems attentively. So, if she wants to have a serious talk with you, be patient and try to understand her problems.
- Communicate with her. If you notice any changes in her behavior, like she is unwilling to talk to you or meet you, you must approach her. Communication is key, and when you see that your girlfriend is reluctant, you have to take the initiative and start a conversation. That's the only thing that can clear things.
- Give her space. If that is what she wants, give her that. Ask her why she needs it and give it to her. If she feels she doesn't want to meet you for a week, you agree. You should let her know that you are there for her and truly understand her problems.
- Observe her behavior. If you notice sudden changes in her behavior, like hiding her phone or not talking to anyone else in front of you, or canceling dates with you at the last moment, there is something fishy. You should observe her very carefully. If possible, connect with her friends and try to notice any changes. Also, you must see her activities on social media minutely to find out if there is a new guy in her life.
- Rectify yourself. If she has told you that she is upset with you or has trust issues, it's your responsibility to make changes in your attitude and sort things out.
- Spend more time together. If you love her truly, you must make sure that she feels your love. So, when she has asked for time and space, you should show your eagerness to keep the relationship in a healthy space. Plan romantic dates with her, go on a vacation with her. Spending quality time with your partner will help clear many doubts and bring back the warmth in the relationship.
Let's wrap up
Your girlfriend can go through various phases. As a boyfriend, be a bit more understanding and approachable. Give her that space and comfort where she can freely talk to you about all her problems.
Even if she asks for time and space, don't think it's the end. There can be a positive side to this as well. Sit down together and talk to each other. Let each other know how important this relationship is.
The right partner will always stick by your side no matter what. And to make things go smoothly, you should also put effort consistently.