Boyfriend Going on Trip Without Me [Reasons & Solution]Your boyfriend is going on a trip without you because he wants some time on his own. It doesn’t necessarily mean he is no longer interested in you. He has got a life outside this relationship, and this trip is a significant part of that life.
You are pretty close to your boyfriend. You spend a lot of time together. You are travel buddies.
But recently, he has informed you about a trip, and you are not a part of it. It is bound to make you mad. It enrages you to think that he is going somewhere nice for a few days with his friends instead of you.
I get it. You are angry. You feel agitated. You are thinking about whether you are as important to him now as you were before.
You must have a lot of questions, and I am here to help you find the answers. Dig in.
Why is he going on a trip without me?
There can be numerous reasons for that. But the most common one is that he needs some time away from you.
You guys are in a romantic relationship, but that doesn’t mean you will literally have to stick together.
People in a relationship should have a life beyond that. Their life shouldn’t begin and end around their significant other.
Therefore, your boyfriend taking some time off of this relationship to go on a trip alone or with his friends is only normal. However, there can be other reasons too. Read on.
#1 His friends are important to him
He has got this bizarre logic about priorities in life, and that is — you have been in his life for the last two years, but his friends have been there for the last 15 years; therefore, friends are more important than you.
Following this logic, he has decided to go on a trip without you and probably with his childhood buddies. He doesn’t understand why you are feeling bad about it.
If you think deeper about it, you will understand that time and again, he has made it clear that his friends are important to him.
Remember that heated argument that you guys had a year and a half ago when he decided to watch the new Marvel movie with his friends instead of going with you. This was a hint for you. A glimpse of what you were getting into.
It can also be the case that he had already traveled with you a lot. And now it is time for him to travel with his friends. They deserve a part of his time too. After all, they truly have been in his life for a long time, through thick and thin, through all the breakups.
#2 He needs to spend time with his family
He has planned this trip without you. But he is taking his family with him. There is nothing to worry about. Every person needs some time to connect with their families, especially if the person is an adult living 2000 miles away from their home.
Planning one trip with his family doesn’t mean that he is going to leave you. If you are not able to stomach the fact that his family deserves a part of his time, then it probably is the time for you to introspect a little about the kind of person you are.
#3 Peer pressure
Well, this happens more than you think. It even happened to you a few times. Remember the time you and your friends decided to hang out without each other’s boyfriends and girlfriends. You wanted to take him along, but of course, you couldn’t.
The same thing is happening with your boyfriend right now. The group of friends he is going on a trip with has made him sign this invisible pact of not bringing the partner along.
On that trip, there will be a bunch of guys doing guy things in their guy universe. They have made it clear in abundance that you have no place among this group. Even if your boyfriend is interested in taking you along, his friends are not at all interested in the idea.
#4 He needs to be alone for sometime
He has grown weary of this relationship or the monotonous life he lives. You are not much of a problem here. He planned this trip without you because he needs to be alone for some time.
He needs to clear his head of all the negative thoughts he has been having for the past few months. He needs a detox, and nothing but traveling can help him with this. He has been looking forward to traveling alone for quite some time now, and he has finally got his chance.
He needs to find himself on this trip, and therefore it will be better to leave him alone in this. Who knows? The one who comes back might be an even better person.
#5 He loves to travel
Traveling is his hobby. Exploring the world has been in his life since before you came into it. You share his love for travel, but that’s not your hobby. For you, travel comes way later in the list of things you do when you have free time.
He has just one hobby, and that is to travel. Since the time you two have been in this relationship, you guys have traveled a lot. But it was not enough. He is the kind of person that doesn’t make plans.
He wants to travel like he did before you came into his life, and that’s why he has mustered up all his courage and excluded you from his trip this time. He knows it makes you feel bad, but he can’t help it. He loves traveling too much to let it go.
#6 You don’t have time for him
He wants to travel with you, but what to do when you don’t have time for him? He tried to include him in his plans a number of times for the past few months, but it was all in vain.
Every time a plan was finalized, you came up with a new way to be busy. The first time it was an unavoidable work thing, then your dad visited, then it was your friend’s wedding.
This time he wants to make sure that nothing cancels his plans. That is the reason for excluding you. However, if you can assure him about not canceling the plans this time, he might take you with him.
#7 Your travel preferences don’t match
You love to have it all planned. You book the hotels, the air tickets, and even the local commute in advance. You are not much into cheap hotels, public transport, and hitchhiking.
He is everything you are not. He loves an unplanned trip. He craves that element of surprise when he steps down from the local bus. Cheap motels are his favorite. He once had his entire dinner from a vending machine.
You see, things don’t match. It will be better if the two of you travel separately. That doesn’t mean you will have to break up with him. You guys can take one trip together every year.
#8 You are a bad travel partner
Who is a bad travel partner? It is that one person who spoils the fun for the entire group. These people always vote against the majority while traveling.
They won’t like the hotel. The rented car will sprout out bugs for them. And no scenic mountain will ever be good enough for them because “It’s too much walking.” They will hate the local food and look for exotic meals in a diner. They are the ones who will refuse to drive. They will make the car stop too many times for “air.”
The “they” in here is basically you. You behaved like this every time you traveled with your boyfriend. He has had enough of your entitled behavior now. That’s why he wants to go on this trip alone.
#9 He wants to explore his life outside this relationship
A relationship cannot define a person. It is just a link between two like-minded individuals. Your boyfriend has realized this recently and has decided to explore his life outside this relationship.
Relax! He is not going to cheat on you. He is going out there, without you for the first time, to know who he truly is. He wants to know what his life would look like without you.
He wants to make new friends and travel to new cities around the world, much like Julia Roberts in the 2010 film Eat Pray Love.
#10 He is cheating on you
This one is the worst but a plausible reason. You can’t just rule it out if you have the instincts. He could be cheating on you.
He planned this trip without you because he is hiding things. He is taking someone else with him. This someone can be a passing fling or a new love. If it is a new love, he will be breaking the news to you soon.
He is not telling you anything about it yet, probably because he still has some sort of feeling left for you. He feels bad for hurting you. If you are confirmed about his dishonesty, you can confront him with proof.
What to do when he is going on a trip without you?
He is going on a trip without you, and for obvious reasons, you feel bad. You might have thought that you are no longer important in his life.
Going on a trip alone doesn’t mean he is not interested in you anymore. Everybody has their own thing—their hobby, something that they love. Has he ever interfered in yours? If not, let’s leave him alone for now.
You can try to change his mind, and if you succeed, that’s great. If you don’t, there are a plethora of things you can do to make yourself feel good. Dive in.
#1 Find a different travel buddy
If you love traveling and he had just left you for a trip on his own, it’s high time you find a new travel buddy. It will be difficult to connect with someone else at first. But once you get to know this new person, you will be happy to travel with them.
However, you don’t have to break up with him on this issue. Traveling together takes a lot of synchronization. If you guys don’t have that yet, it will be better not to travel together. After all, you wouldn’t want to fight in an unknown land over petty issues.
#2 Find an engaging hobby
If traveling is not your hobby, you will need to find something that you truly love doing. It’s quite clear that your boyfriend loves to travel. He will always find time to do what he loves.
You can look for things that make you happy. If you are more of an indoors person, you might not even have to step out of your home to do what you love.
Don’t feel bad that he is going on a trip without you. You would have felt bored on that trip anyway.
#3 Travel alone
If he doesn’t seem interested in traveling with you, you can always travel alone. He went on a trip without you. You will travel to an even better place without him.
Pack your bags and leave home. Live in the moment. You don’t have to inform him about your plans. Did he care to do so? No. Therefore, there is no need to include him in your plans either.
#4 Confront him if he is being unreasonable
You have been the best travel partner one can ever have, but still, he refuses to go on trips with you. He is clearly being unreasonable. Ask him what is making him behave like this.
Excluding someone from a thing that you would do together is not normal. Something must be making him do this. It can be peer pressure, as we have discussed earlier. It can also be a bit of an existential crisis.
If his reasons are not good enough, confront him and demand to know the truth. If you are on good terms, he will honestly answer your questions.
#5 Try to be a better travel partner
Inventing new problems in your travel plans is one of the most diabolical things a person can do while traveling. You have been doing that for a while now. Nothing seems to make you happy.
Be it the hotel or the rented car, the road or the food at the diner; you find fault with everything. While traveling, one needs to be a bit more patient about everything.
Hotels aren’t supposed to contain your comfy bed. The food at the diner is not something that you would make with care at home. Learn to accept the little flaws. Adapting to these unfavorable situations will definitely make you a better travel partner.
#6 Try to convince him to travel together by rectifying your bad habits
If it is your bad habits that are barring him from including you in his travel plans, try to rectify them as soon as possible. Stop being a difficult person to travel with.
As an avid traveler, your boyfriend’s superpower is to adapt to unfavorable situations. Spending nights in a car is not a difficult task for him. When needed, he even takes a shower at the mall washrooms.
That’s the level of flexibility you will have to attain if you want to be called a traveler like him and if you want to be included in his intense travel plans.
#7 Find out if he has found someone else
Look for hints. Find out if he is seeing someone behind your back. If planning a trip without you seems unnatural to you, trust your instincts and investigate on your own.
Don’t just go up to him and ask if he is dating someone else. Of course, he will lie to your face. Instead, get hold of his travel plans and follow him to uncover his secrets.
The process sounds a bit creepy, but he is clearly lying to you, and you deserve to know the truth.
#8 If he is being rude, do the same thing
When he decided to go on this trip without you, his behavior was plain rude. Next time plan a trip without him and don’t even inform him about the plans.
Also, think twice about staying with a person who has been so rude to you. Ask him to set his priorities right. If he fails to do so, you can always find a better person to fall in love with.
He has been nothing but rude and arrogant around you. Make him pay for that. Mete out the same behavior to him.
#9 Get better at the thing he does and beat him at his own game
He takes pride in being a traveler. He makes vlogs, and his Instagram is a work of art. You like to travel too. Till the last time, you were his travel buddy. But this time, he has somehow found someone else (can be friends or acquaintances).
You need to get better at traveling without him. Remember that he is not your mentor. You will travel of your own will, and you need no one’s help to do that.
Travel to offbeat places, make vlogs and reels on Instagram, and beat him at his own game. Shatter the thing that he takes pride in. This will show him his place.
#10 Take a break
He refused to take you with him on this trip. He chose someone (or something) else over you. He ignored your presence in life. That’s nothing but hurtful.
You can take a break from this relationship. You will need to compose your mind for some time. Sit back and think if you really want to be in a relationship with this guy who is immensely selfish.
Some time apart from each other will get new clarity into your lives. A break doesn’t necessarily mean a breakup. You guys can always reconcile the moment it seems fit to do so.
To sum up
Traveling together is a special thing for many couples. It is something that binds them. Some even go a step further to make vlogs and reels, while the rest travel quietly to enjoy the new experiences.
When these two aspects clash in one relationship, the idea of traveling alone takes birth. This might have happened in your relationship too when your boyfriend decided to go on a trip without you.
There is nothing to feel sad about. Have a conversation with him if you want to keep on being travel buddies. There is nothing a good conversation can’t solve.