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My Boyfriend Gets Mad When I'm Not in the Mood [SOLVED]

You are dating a desperate and immature person who primarily cares for his feelings without taking yours into consideration. If your boyfriend does not understand or appreciate your needs and moods, he is not compatible with you.An upset couple sitting on a sofa

A relationship isn't all about makeout, though; makeout is what keeps it fun and brings you to close. But if you don't feel like getting intimidated once in a while, your boyfriend must feel comfortable spending passive hours with you.

That is the true test of a relationship. It's about how well you can endure each other's silence and if there's anything that keeps you together more than making love.

In this article, I've tried to ascertain the reasons why your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood and how you can possibly overcome it.

Reasons why your boyfriend gets mad at you when you are not in the mood

In a relationship, vibing with your boyfriend's mood can be a challenging task, especially when you are not on the same page as him. Some days are demanding, and you want your soulmate to understand and make you comfortable.

It's not all about getting laid. But if your boyfriend gets mad at you if you are not in the mood, he is not your soulmate. Rather he is a bad-tempered person who lacks the maturity to comfort you in the true sense.

Let's find out all the possible reasons that cause such a lack of understanding and such rude behavior. It will then help us to figure out ways in which we can fix your relationship or at least give you new goals for it.

#1 He is desperate 

Your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood because he is desperate to get laid. This can be due to hormone imbalance or because he is addicted to it.

Either way, it's purely animalistic in nature. You might want to talk to him when he is calm and patient to make him understand how being too warmed up all the time is not a green flag of a healthy relationship. 

If he understands your concern, he is your guy. If not, there shall be a tendency that he might cheat on you when he gets a chance.

#2 He is bad-tempered 

If your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood, you might want to keep a check on his behavior to know if it's only this situation that makes him mad or he gets off at every other situation.

If it's recurring behavior, it indicates that he is a bad-tempered person who has anger issues. You might want to help him in getting counseling.

Once his anger management issue is fixed, he will be a better person and, undoubtedly, a better boyfriend.

#3 He is lusty

Your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood because he is always aroused and wants more. If you are not as horny as the guy you are dating, it might create such differences every now and then.

Your wavelength should match with one another. If it doesn't, and your relationship is young, you might want to give it a serious thought.

List down your priorities when ins a relationship and suggest him to do the same. Keep it side by side and see where your priorities stand.

#4 He doesn't love you

Your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood because he is not ready to understand your needs or to keep himself in your shoes.

The primary reason for this is that perhaps he doesn't love you. He likes you and is strongly attracted to you. He cannot get much of you in the process. He is obsessed with you. He wants you all the time.

He might not be the wrong person. You need to help him out here by explaining the tidbits of a relationship and what makes it stronger. If he understands your concern and mends his ways accordingly, you are good to go.

#5 He is using you 

Your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood because he doesn't treat you as a person. You are a tool to satiate his appetite.

He perhaps doesn't care if you are enjoying it with him or not. He is only better for his happiness. 

A good guy shall always ask you if you are comfortable and having fun. He would also want you to share your thoughts and feelings once you have done it.

If your guy is one, don't keep yourself from sharing your true feelings and emotions. Whereas, if he has never bothered to ask you about it or to understand your feelings, you might want to think again about what brought you together in the first place.

If it was a hasty decision, it has not been well made. 

#6 He wants to possess you 

If your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood, he is irrational and, to some extent, not in the right state of mind. He is fixated with you, and while he might not choose to cheat on you, he has weird notions about relationships.

You might want to ask him what he thinks makes a relationship successful. This will not only make him more thoughtful as a person, but you shall also get a chance to understand his thought process better.

#7 He wants to tame you 

If you are very bossy and dominating in nature, your boyfriend might get mad when you are not in the mood because he wants to tame your wild side.

He doesn't want to miss any chance when you are in bed together. It might be that at your workplace, you are the dominating one, and you rank higher than him. Hence, he does not want to miss the chance to take control.

#8 He is bossy 

You might make a submissive and fragile girlfriend. Hence, it gives him an extreme pleasure to be bossy with you.

However, if you don't enjoy it and would appreciate it if he treated you tenderly, voice your feelings. There's no need to play hide and seek with your boyfriend.

You are supposed to share a comfort zone with him, which if you are not, there's something strongly wrong in your relationship.

#9 He is wild 

Your boyfriend is too wild and hot. He needs to get to bed twice daily.

Some people are like that. If you are not enjoying it, you might suggest to him how you can together make it more fun.

Knowing each other's preferences in such a case is of great help. You can try role play or some instruments which make it more enjoyable for both of you at the same time.

Once you get comfortable and find it pleasurable, you will automatically be in the right mood as well.

#10 He is incompatible 

The reason why he gets mad when you are not in the mood or the fact that you are not in the mood is that you both don't make a romantic pair together.

You might be great friends, or you might look hot together, but you lack the yearning for one another, or at least you do for him.

This makes it difficult for both of you to stick together in times high and low. The incomparability can be due to your lack of understanding or acknowledgment of each other's needs.

You can try taking turns in deciding how to spend time together. That will keep it even, and you might get to know more about one another in the process.

#11 He is immature 

Your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood because he is immature and childish in his behavior. He might either be a novice, or he is a pro.

In either case, he wants to keep the practice going and take it to the next level. However, you must make him understand that without your consent or inclination, neither of you can get a satisfactory feeling out of it.

Once it's rightly instilled in both of your minds, you shall face difficulty in meeting up each other's needs. Remember, when you truly love someone, all your heart desires is to make them happy. But at the same time, they should also feel the same way for you.

#12 He is impractical 

Your boyfriend is not practical in his approach to relationships. He doesn't understand that a person cannot always meet his needs.

He might either learn to self-practice or try yoga, among other things, to control his adrenaline rush and to prevent himself from getting excited on every occasion that comes his way.

#13 He is always stressed 

He gets mad when you are not in the mood because he is always stressed, and spending time with you is his way of destressing himself. It helps him to overcome his thoughts and keeps him sane.

However, if keeping him sane is making you crazy, it is not worth it. You should prioritize your mental health and peace. There are other ways of spending quality time together. Discover those with him, or if he agrees, you both can use relationship counsel.

#14 He is not mindful 

Your boyfriend is not mindful of your needs. He is not taking into account your feelings. His heart must be made of steel to be so cold and inconsiderate about your emotions and feelings.

You must take some action to change his conduct and make it more favorable. Becoming resistant and stubborn could help you find the right course. 

#15 You are too hot

You are popular and well known for your beauty. Your boyfriend is proud to have you by his side. He is a lucky guy. But at the same time, he feels insecure. He feels that it is too good to be true.

And when you are not in the mood to do it with him, his fear comes back and attacks him. He feels that you are losing your interest in him. Making him believe in your love could be a big task, but that can eventually help you strengthen your bond. Ensure him that he is the love of your life, and things will eventually turn out to be fine.

What should you do if your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood?

If your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood, you might want to take some time off from him. This will help both of you. You will be able to understand your feelings for him clearly. He will know your worth in his life and will work hard to make things right.

#1 Tell him you are not in the mood 

You need to make him understand why you don't feel those butterflies in your stomach. Is it about his company, or is something else keeping you distracted?

Remember, he is your boyfriend, and he deserves to know what goes on in your mind. Moreover, sharing your feelings with him will make you feel light. 

Try saying something like, "Darling, not today, let's just sit and watch a movie, okay?" or, "Baby, I've got a lot on my mind right now. Can we do this later, please?"

#2 Take a break 

If you feel that your boyfriend has become obsessed with you and find this obsession too overwhelming to deal with, take a break from him.

Don't ghost him right away. Help him understand why you need this break and how it might help both of you in some way. Either he will agree with you, or he will make you see how you can fix this without going on a break.

#3 Confront him 

Confronting your boyfriend with raw emotions and feelings can help you lead the relationship.

A confrontation that offers minute details of your emotions and how you feel would be like a journal, and if you share the details with him, it will help him understand you better.

Moreover, he would appreciate the efforts taken by you to pull him closer rather than pushing him away. It would mean that you, too, want to be in this relationship with him as much as he wants to be with you.

#4 Tell him your expectations 

If your boyfriend gets mad at you when you are not in the mood, tell him that it nags you.

Let him know your expectations, the non-negotiable ones. Make it crystal clear to him that if he wants this to work, he will have to work hard to meet the ends. It cannot be a one-sided thing.

#5 Try other couple things together 

Making out is not the only way to express your love for one another. Many other couple things could be fun and make you appreciate one another more.

Decorating your home, shopping, going for a haircut, cooking together, there are a plethora of activities that, when performed together, can make your relationship meaningful.

#6 Make him work hard for it 

If your boyfriend gets mad when you are not in the mood, you might want to make him work hard for it.

Start putting conditions if he wants to win your heart. Ask him to do things that might excite you.

In return, when you are in the mood, do things on the same scale for him too. He will become less demanding and more thoughtful when it would not come easy to him.

#7 He needs therapy 

Your boyfriend has anger issues along with an excess of libido. He is in a good position to make use of therapy.

Convince him to take it. It will not only calm him down but also make him a more empathetic partner. You will start enjoying his company and might fall for him all over again.

#8 Control libido through nutrition and exercise 

If your boyfriend gets mad rather than being compassionate when you are not in the mood, he has excessive libido. However, with the right nutrition and exercise, it can be controlled. Please consult a doctor and convince him to do yoga and perform meditation. 

#9 Make him take an interest in religious literature 

Religious literature requires a certain level of devotion. Once he finds it interesting, he will try to locate the purity in the whole idea of lovemaking.

This, in the process, will make him less desperate and more compassionate. He will treat you tenderly and might emerge out to be a different person altogether.

#10 Channelise the energy into future goals 

Make him talk about the future. Does he put you in his plans? Where does he see himself five years down the line? How ambitious is he? What is he doing to achieve all the goals?

The answer to these questions will help him see things clearly and might motivate him to invest himself more in planning out the future together and making it glorious.

#11 Go trekking 

Trekking rather than a staycation will help both of you to spend time outdoors in the lap of nature. The time spent shall draw you close in the right way.

Your feelings will be raw, and it will be much more than making out routinely. It will give you a break while keeping you together. Make him choose the place. He will appreciate it.

#12 Help him in cultivating a hobby 

A hobby can bring about a great change in anyone's life. Hobbies keep us occupied and help us stay deviated into creative channels that are productive in nature.

Cultivating an interest in a hobby, it can be mastering a musical instrument or learning an art form, or playing an outdoor sport; either way, it will channel his energy away from you and shall allow you some free time without even the need to express it.

Summing up

If your boyfriend gets mad at you when you are not in the mood, treat him patiently and give direction to all his steps. Remember, your goal should be to fix it in a way that brings you closer than ever before. You need to work on making your boyfriend more empathetic. Choose the way that suits you the most. Never give up on love easily.

Suprity Acharyya


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