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What Does It Mean When a Guy Pats a Girl on the Back?

It suggests that the guy considers himself to be your friend and well-wisher. He is being supportive and expecting some form of acknowledgment. If you like him, smile at him; if not, make it clear at once.Featured Image of What Does It Mean When a Guy Pats a Girl on the Back

A relationship goes through many levels of development and growth before reaching a zone where you find yourself comfortable with another person. This stands true for all forms of relationships. 

When a guy takes the liberty to come in close contact with you, it can be touching your shoulder, rubbing your back, giving you a pat, or holding your hand; it suggests that he doesn't consider himself a random guy on the street.

In cases like this, if you find yourself confused and puzzled, it suggests that you weren't expecting it. While there can be many possible reasons for him to pat you, you might need to think about your options about the ways you should react.

In this blog post, I'll help you to figure it out.

10 Possible reasons what it means when a guy pats your back

It means the guy is friendly and likes to keep up the positive vibe. He is not jealous of your success and wants to encourage you to keep achieving further.

However, if he patted your back at a moment of sadness, it might form a consolidation. To understand the various scenarios and possible reasons, scroll below and keep reading.

#1 A friendly gesture 

While everyone congratulated you by shaking your hand, this guy considers himself a mentor or wants to show himself different from others. Hence, rather than shaking your hand or giving you an affectionate hug, he pats your back.

#2 Trying to encourage 

Perhaps it is a moment when you are feeling low or heartbroken, and the guy is trying to cheer you up. He is feeling uncomfortable and doesn't know what better to do than to pat your back. 

You should express your gratitude if he stood by your side in hard times. Perhaps drop him a text saying something such as, 

"Thank you for supporting me today. It meant a lot. Yours truly –" Such a message would remove any embarrassment that might have built between the two of you.

#3 A sign of more expectations 

Perhaps the guy is trying to suggest that he had higher expectations from you and he knows that you can do better. This happened when the guy was in the same competition and perhaps got a better promotion or higher rank than you. 

In such situations, keeping up the competitive spirit takes a man way ahead in life. He is being courteous, is all, unless he gives you a sly look or makes a scornful remark; that would mean that he is trying to demean your stance.

#4 Trying to get touchy 

Perhaps the guy was looking for an opportunity to touch your skin. He did it as soon as he got an opportunity. Sometimes it so happens that men feel girls enjoy being touched. They think it makes women feel special.

It might also happen that they feel women don't notice who is touching them. However, if it made you uncomfortable, it's best to make it clear to him at once. Never give such men another opportunity to get close to you.

#5 A cordial sign to cheer up 

Perhaps the guy was merely trying to cheer you up. You were disheartened, or your boss made an awful remark about you, or you are merely having a bad day; in either case, this guy wants to show that he has got your back.

Such a gesture on a trying day could make one feel alive again.

#6 To show support 

He is supportive. That's what true friends do. They don't leave your side even if it means that the tide is against you.

It suggests that he is not a random friend but perhaps someone who has a soft and secured corner for you in his heart. Perhaps he is crushing on you. Consider his dating status if you feel this can be the case.

#7 He likes you 

He is trying to hit on you. Remember that he is always around you though you have never really talked much. If you have read Punk 57 or any of Penelope Douglas, you would know how guys enjoy keeping an air of mystery around them.

They feel that that makes them special and wanting. To an extent, this is true. Girls have a difficult type resisting guys who show up as mysteries.

So if this is the case, you better be careful because, unlike in the novels of Penelope Douglas, most guys in real life keep up a facade to attract girls. There is never anything special going on in their life. It's just that they are very bored, not ambitious, and finding ways to catch new fish.

#8 He is attracted to your skin 

Skin colors are attractive. If you are wheatish, dark, or milky, guys have weird fantasies. Perhaps you were donning a backless dress, and you have moles on your back, or your spinal cord runs so smooth that his immediate impulse was to touch it, but he couldn't do so lest you shall get offensive, so he patted your back.

While this might come across as a complex theory, it is very much possible. The mind works in complex patterns, and some things can cause libido. 

#9 He wants to see your reaction 

Perhaps the guy has been wondering to date you for a long time but never attempted to take the first step. He is not confident about your reaction. He pats your back to see your reaction. 

Would you like it, or would you be annoyed? You can tell a lot about how comfortable you are with him. Accordingly, he will take his next step.

#10 You are over-friendly 

It may be well known that you befriend others easily. Sagittarians have a very popular reputation, and they are free and easy-going people.

If you are one among the lot, this guy would have taken the liberty to pat your back without seeking your permission.

However, in such cases, people can get off-limits. If you don't know this person, confront him at once and tell him that he has no right to loiter anywhere near you, and if he doesn't keep his distance next time, he shall be in serious trouble.

These questions should clear your doubt

Sometimes situations get tricky, and you might find it difficult to figure out where exactly the problem lies. However, do not worry. There are tricks to resolve your problem. 

In the present case, ask yourself the following questions to get clarity as to what was exactly happening when the guy patted your back.

#1 Consider when he pats your back

The timing and the situation can make all the difference. Were you in his proximity when he extended his hand or did he come from across the place to pat?

If he did, it has been something deliberate. He is doing it intentionally, perhaps to secure your attention. This might be so because he requires some favor. Perhaps whatever is being celebrated, he wants to gain some profit out of it.

#2 Did he do it in the presence of others?

If the guy pats your back in the presence of others, then he wants to display before the world that you two have known each other for some time.

This is mostly done to show off before the rival and pretend to be your friend. Such people are very cunning, and it's better to keep them at a distance.

#3 Did he stick by your side after doing it?

If the guy did not leave your side, it suggests he had more to say than merely pat your back.

Whereas, if he left your side as soon as he slid by to pat your back, it was done merely to leave an impression on you and others.

#4 Have you ever held his hands or touched his back?

If at any given time in life you had made skin contact with this man, he won't think twice before patting you as a friendly sign of encouragement.

However, if he is an absolute stranger, he is either a stalker or a mannerless individual.

#5 Does he hugs you while patting your back?

If you are already in his arms and he pats your back, it suggests that he is trying to say more than he has said.

Perhaps he is keeping something from you. If it's a farewell or your college convocation, he has made plans that don't involve you. He has kept it a secret, and soon he might be abandoning you. Or maybe he wants to say he will miss you but he is shy and just expresses himself by patting your back.

What to do if you like the touch?

If you felt that the pat was a friendly gesture, there is nothing to get sulky about it. A smile can work wonders. Unless it's a constant botheration, the following are various ways to handle the situation tactfully.

#1 Smile at him 

A warm smile shows a nod of appreciation and acknowledgment. If the guy was trying to seek your attention with a smile, you should show that you have noticed his presence.

Sometimes this much is enough to make a person's day. If the guy has been crushing on you or regards you highly, it's good to behave nicely.

#2 Lean on his shoulder 

If you two are alone and he pats your back to secure your attention, you can lean on his shoulder to show that you are grateful for his unwavering support. 

This is an easy tactic that takes one a long way in maintaining good relationships. It's called making the most of the moment. There's no need to get nervous or panic-stricken in such scenarios.

#3 Offer him your hand 

Perhaps the guy wanted to hold your hands but wasn't too confident about it. Offering him your hand can make him happy. 

If you like the touch, if he smells good, if his skin is soft and supple, relish the moment while it lasts.

#4 Blow him a kiss 

If this guy is younger to you in a way that he looks up to you as a mentor, or if he is much older to you in a way that he looks at you as his disciple, blowing a swift kiss can put a smile on his face.

We live in a social world, and we are interdependent. A cordial gesture shall do you good.

#5 Give him a nod of affirmation 

If smiling, blinking, or giving a hug seems too much to you, a nod of affirmation is the way to go. It won't come across as too friendly either.

If it's a formal situation and the man is one of your colleagues who you have never had a conversation with, this is the way to go.

#6 Text him expressing your gratitude 

Rather than giving an immediate reaction, it is alright to send him a text expressing your feelings coherently once you are back home. This text could be formal or something with a tinge of romance, such as –

"I liked the way you came forward to show your support today. We can discuss the schedule further over coffee tomorrow; what say?"

This shall help you in establishing more meaningful relationships.

#7 Look into his eyes 

Eyes can talk more than words. When you don't know how to give a reaction, but you feel good about something, look the person in the eyes and vibe.

If your eyes engage him rather than make him nervous, he is yours. However, if he is too shy or nervous about continuing the eye contact, it shall be a funny experience.

What to do if you don't like it?

If you didn't like the way the guy patted your back, make it crystal clear by giving a puzzled and scornful look to the person. There are various ways to make your discomfort palpable. I've discussed a few of them below. Choose as per your liking and act fast on it.

#1 Push yourself away 

Don't stick by him. Immediately move away to make it clear that you feel uncomfortable. Don't even give him another look. Go across to another side of the room. 

Some guys are nasty. Whatever he had in his mind would be dismissed at once. A reaction must be given when due.

#2 Avoid him 

Avoidance can be the best remedy in this situation. It might not mean much, and you might be overthinking.

Until and unless the situation is on loop, there's no sense pondering something that might be futile. 

#3 Ask him not to touch you 

A confrontation would be harmless in this situation. Tell him not to touch you, even to show his approval.

There are better ways to do it. He can nod his head or congrats you verbally or send you a text, or hold his hands as a sign of respect. 

#4 Stare at him 

You know that perplexed and sulking look you give a person to alarm that they have reached their limit and your blood is already boiling; yes, give this guy that looks, and he would know his place well. 

Show him that you are not looking for his approval or affirmation. If he is flying too high, show him that flying close to the sun can make his feathers burn. You are your boss-lady, who doesn't seek approval from the world or a random stranger.

#5 Tell him you don't need his support 

Words work wonders, even if that means showing someone you're happy without them. As they say, the word remains and resounds for a long time in one's ear.

If you want to give him a bitter treatment, so be it! Tell him something such as, "Who asked for your approval?" If he tries to be flirtatious with you, he will engage in a witty conversation. If he is too dumb and intimated, let him be.

#6 Tell him he is not your friend 

Tell him that you only allow your best and dear ones to show their affirmation by sharing the same space.

Say to him something such as while you appreciate his genuine support, you would respect it more if he did it next time by keeping his distance.

#7 Stay in the company 

If you are not getting good vibes from this guy, however, you cannot leave the place. Keeping a company with you, someone who is your pillar of strength or macho enough to show this guy his position would do you good.

Summing up 

When a guy with a familiar face pats your back, smile at him and immediately step away to make a distance.

Patting someone is generally a sign of approval. It should make you smile and make you feel blessed. But if it fails to show, do not think twice before flashing your puzzled face.

Suprity Acharyya


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