Should I Accept My Ex-Follow or Friend Request? [ANSWERED]Yes, you can. Accepting their request will not suggest a window for them to come back into your life. They can be just like any other regular follower on your list. You are not giving your ex any importance by doing so; rather, you're giving a clear signal that their presence doesn't make any difference to your life. However, accepting their request could be a great start if you wish to reconcile your relationship with your ex.
Our life is made of our present and past. Letting go of the past is the most important step to going forward. Although the past will always be a part of our life, holding on to them will never let you go ahead.
We forget so many things from the past. But when it comes to a relationship, it becomes very difficult. Simply because it was not an object, it was a relationship filled with emotions and love.
Your ex-partner was a part of your life, with whom you spent time, memories you built together, moments that were just yours. So, forgetting an episode of your life becomes a bit hard. Even if the relationship ended on a bad note, you still would remember certain things about your past.
But, moving on is the elixir of life. You can't get stuck to a particular thing, a memory, or a person. You must go with the flow, accept life as it comes and move forward.
However, life sometimes puts you in certain situations where you have to decide for yourself. And taking that decision is never easy. Imagine you doing your life at your own pace, and suddenly a piece of your past reappears in your life. Things would be worse when you and your ex had to end things on a bitter note. Their sudden comeback in your life will not be going to a sweet experience for you at all.
So, what can you do when your ex sends you to follow or friend request? You are wrong if you thought you had closed the chapter of your past forever. In this age of social media, finding you or what you are up to is never a huge task. Especially if your ex has decided to find you by hook or by crook, they will find you from social media. Now the ball is in your court. How do you want to handle the entire situation?
Before jumping into what you should do in a situation like this, let's see why your ex is sending you a follow or a friend request. You can never really know what's happening in your ex's mind. So, let's look at why your ex is sending you a follow or a friend request.
8 Surprising reasons when your ex sends you follow or friend request
You will be in a mess when you come across your ex's name on your social media profile one fine day. Your mind will play the flashback of memories you two had together. Now that you have seen your ex's name on your profile and you're in total awe, you would be thinking, why are they sending you a request?
#1 Your ex wants to talk to you
If you had blocked them on Whatsapp, removed them from your social media profiles, and you're also not responding to their calls, they are only left with one option. They want to talk to you at least once.
Since you have closed all doors, they had to send you a request. Your ex might not intend to return to your life again. But they expect to talk to you one final time and end things on a good note.
Your ex is here trying to give you a shot and wants to explain certain things or clear any misconceptions you might have. So, if you two broke up recently, and you know there was a lack of proper communication at that time, you should accept the request. Also, if you were not talking to your ex out of anger, listen to them once. It will help you to calm down and make a constructive decision.
#2 Your ex wants closure
If you blocked your ex in a fit of rage, then most likely, you two did not get a chance to end your relationship on a good note. What happens in such cases is that both of you are left on a hanging cliff. You could have given your ex a chance to explain yourselves, but you missed it.
So, your ex is now trying to make a move by sending you a request. Probably he wants to know why you had to take such a decision. He might want to try this entire situation or at least apologize to you for his mistake.
Accept the request if you think talking with your ex can lead to a positive solution, or you would be relieved of a burden. It does not have to be fruitful. But both of you must give one last chance to communicate to clear off confusion. This will help you in the long run. Otherwise, there will be a void or both of you will have grudges against each other for the rest of your life.
#3 Your ex wants to irritate you
Exes can be too much to handle at times. When you are relieved to leave your previous relationship and try to move on, your ex will suddenly reappear in your life only to disturb you. If you two had broken up a long time ago, almost 2 or 3 years have passed, and your ex sends you a request, then this is the only intention.
Although some people come back into your life to keep a formal, cordial relationship, your ex is here only to bother you. Perhaps they want to irritate you by talking about the past or how they have been unable to move on while you're leading a happy life.
They are simply jealous and have come here to perturb your mental peace. If you, by mistake, accept their request, they will send you emotional texts or videos to trigger your memories. Sometimes they blame you for everything, and their motive is to make you feel guilty. They will only be happy when you apologize to them. But remember, they are just for a brief time.
#4 Your ex wants to meet you
Did you two break up, and your ex moved to a different city? Or both of you were in an LDR from the beginning and never got a chance to meet? If you happen to be in any of the situations, you may find yourself one day with your ex's request on your social media.
When you two had a short dating life, like for six months or a year, and you never got a chance to discuss your issues, your ex is sending you a request to meet you. They do not intend to get back to you or give a new start to this relationship, but they only want to meet you as former acquaintances.
If you two moved to different places and ended your relationship over texts or a call, both of you would likely have something unsaid. Meeting face to face is always better than ending a relationship virtually. Since you didn't get a chance to do that and your ex is in town, they want a casual meet-up.
#5 Your ex wants to return your stuff
So, both of you broke up and never contacted each other, and now all of a sudden your ex thinks of returning your stuff. Don't get surprised. It happens all the time. When you two broke up, you were so angry that you did not talk to each other again.
But when time passes, you realize that your stuff is still with your ex. However, you won't take the initiative to get your stuff back due to your ego, or you're just fed up with your past. On the other hand, your ex is bothered by your stuff. Either your stuff reminds of you constantly, or they have moved on to a new relationship, and their present partner doesn't like your presence.
So, your ex is finding a solution to return your stuff. Sending you a request on social media is easy and formal. They want to give you the impression that they are not here to chat with you. Otherwise, they could have texted you directly. But it is for a query and will be a formal conversation regarding when and how they can send your stuff back.
#6 Your ex wants to keep the friendship
If you had a great friendship before starting your romantic relationship, don't be surprised if you get your ex's request. They are here to remain your friends like before. Yes, the friendship will not have the same comfort as your past, but you two won't be living like two strangers.
Your ex is taking the initiative to keep the friendship alive. It does not mean you two have to hang out frequently or attend parties together. But it will be a cordial relationship where you two exchange occasional texts with each other on birthdays and even sometimes talk over text about your career or your current relationship.
It is just a fuss-free, casual friendship with no expectations from each other. However, if it was for you to overcome the feelings for your ex and you think accepting their request will only worsen things, you can avoid their request.
#7 Your ex is curious
The one thing you can't ever get rid of is your ex's curiosity. They may be out of your life now, but they are still very interested in what you are up to. When you close all the doors for them to know about your whereabouts, they have to come sneakily into your social media and send you a request.
They are also here to check out whether you are accepting it or not. If you accept, they will be pleased that you still haven't forgotten them. And when you accept them just as a follower, no deep meaning is attached to them. They can be a silent observer in your follower or friend list, getting all the updates about your life. They want to know in which city you live and have you started dating anyone.
If you two ended on a fairly good note, which means if it was mutual, then you should not worry. They won't comment on anything abrupt, uncomfortable, or rude on your posts. But if the breakup was nasty, seeing you with your present partner may not be a very comfortable situation for your ex. So, they can end up commenting on something to put you in a false position.
#8 Your ex's current partner secretly sent you a request
Well, exes can be super complex. Although they have come out of their previous relationship and are dating a new person now, their current partner is still unsure about it. So, to check their partners' previous activities, such as whether they have photos with you on your social media or anything they have completely hidden, they have sent a request.
Obviously, you won't think of this, and seeing your ex's name, you can accept the request casually. Also, if you don't hold any grudges against your ex, you can send birthday wishes or casual greetings without knowing that your ex's partner is conducting the whole operation.
They are here out of suspicion and basically to keep an eye on their partner. It's best to wait for the other party to initiate a conversation before you take the responsibility and be in a puzzling situation.
Now, that you know why your ex is sending you a follow or a friend request, it's time to act. The difficult part comes here- should I accept or should I not?
Should you accept your ex-follow or friend request?
You need to keep in mind certain things before acting in this situation. Ask yourself a few questions-
- Do I want them to know about my life?
- Does this mean they miss me and wants to talk to me?
- Do I miss them and want to use this as an opportunity to sort things out?
- Will their presence affect my present relationship and peace of mind?
If you know the answers, making a decision will be a cakewalk. Let's see now what you can do in such circumstances.
#1 Do I want them to know about my life?
If you have moved on from your past long ago, and your ex's presence doesn't make any difference to your life, then accept them. But be very clear in your head and heart. Remember that they will get access to see what's happening in your life, what you are doing, and whom you are dating. They might also send you texts occasionally or can even tell you to meet one day.
Are you prepared for all this? If yes, accepting won't be a big deal. But if you're a bit shy about all these, yet you want to accept the request out of politeness, you can restrict your ex's account. They won't be able to see your stories or comment on your posts, and their messages also will appear in a different window. This way, you are playing it quite safe and keeping a guard on your personal life.
#2 Does this mean they miss me and wants to talk to me?
This entirely depends on the kind of relationship you shred and the reason for your breakup. If you two fought for a silly reason or blamed each other unnecessarily, and you know things could have worked out, there is still a chance.
But to sort things out, you both need to be on the same page. Also, listening to your heart is important. Do you wish to lend an ear to your ex for one last time? Perhaps there have been some unsaid things, and you know that by your heart. You, too, wish to say something to your ex but never found the perfect moment.
So, accept the request but wait for them to drop a text before you do. Your approach should not come across as being desperate. Go with the flow.
#3 Do I miss them and want to use this as an opportunity to sort things out?
Only you know this answer in your heart. Even nasty breakups are sometimes mended because of pure love. So if you love your ex to date and moving on has been a difficult task for you, grab on to this opportunity.
You probably tried reaching out to your ex in the past, but there were no responses from their end. But time has passed, and time is a great healer; perhaps your ex has realized this would be the right time to get back in touch with you again. If you truly miss them and want to talk and sort things out, don't miss out this time.
#4 Will their presence affect my present relationship and peace of mind?
You two ended your relationship mutually. Both of you knew that it was the right decision for yourselves. You don't hold any grudges against your ex, and you also know the same about them. There is no disrespect or hatred, and there is also no love. It's only cordiality.
But you still should assess certain things. Will having your ex on your follower list remind you of the past? You can be triggered by seeing something familiar or, even though you have moved on, seeing your ex with your current partner can evoke pain in your life. So, think before you make a decision.
Also, if there is nothing between you two and their presence doesn't bother you, you must consider your present partner's feelings too. They won't restrict you from your actions or not impose anything on you, but they might get hurt. Have open communication with your partner or simply ignore the request. Why bring an old chapter to the new book of your life?
You don't have to make a hullabaloo about accepting your ex's request. But there can be several underlying meanings attached to your ex's action. It will be your call entirely whether to accept or not.
But always look at both sides of the coin. Always treat your ex as a part of your past unless both of you know that there is still one chance left. Overthinking and overanalyzing this situation will only add stress to your life.
So, act wisely and carry on with your life.