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Why Do My Crush's Friends Look/Stare at Me? [8 Possible Reasons]

Your crush's friends look at you because they know you have a crush on their friend. Your crush also knows how you feel. They have talked to their friends about you. The friends observe you to garner more information so that their friend can make a good first impression.Feature Image of Why Do My Crush's Friends Look/Stare at Me

A group of people is looking at you across the cafeteria. The only one that isn't is the person you have a crush on. The ones looking at you are your crush's friends. 

They are inspecting you on behalf of their friend. A very common scenario, isn't it? We have seen this in movies, read about it in books, and experienced it in real life at least once.

Remember the time in Twilight when Edward and his weird family of teenage vampires kept on staring at Bella Swan across the cafeteria. It reached a level of discomfort for her. 

The same may happen with you as well. A group of people looking at you can be a bit unsettling. Why do they stare, and what should you do in a situation like this? Let's find answers.

Why would they look at you?

Your crush probably knows about your feelings, and through their friends, they are trying to know more about you. 

The ones who are looking at you have carefully been deployed to spy on you and report back to them. Your crush's friends are gathering information about you to help their friend pursue you. However, there can be myriad other reasons. Read on.

#1 Your crush knows about your feelings

Your feelings are no longer hidden. Your crush knows about them and is probably acting according to it through their friends. Your crush's friends have been looking at you for the last few days. They are simply trying to gather more information about you.

Your crush must have told them to do so as if they look directly at you; it could send off a wrong signal. They are still not in the place where they can longingly look at you. Deploying their friends is probably a step towards that.

They are trying to know if you are worthy of their time and effort. That's where their loyal friends come to help. You are being watched.

#2 Your crush has a crush on you

It's not a one-way thing. Congratulations! Your feelings about this particular person are getting reciprocated. You are not the only person who has got a crush on someone. This someone to have a crush on you.

Their friends observe you because they don't want to scare you off with their constant stare. Somehow they know you are interested in them. So, they have decided to move forward with this.

Think about it. Don't your friends look at them too? It's you who have told them to do so. You have asked them to keep an eye on your crush.

#3 They want to know more about you

They know you have a crush on them. They are interested in you. But before doing something remarkable, they want to know more about you.

Their friends look at you across the cafeteria because they have been told to do so. They want to see who you really are, and they are doing thing this so that they can make sure their friend is pursuing the right person.

Everything you do in front of their eyes gets reported back to their friend. Sometimes you can have one of them living close to your place, and in that case, you will be observed even when you are in your neighborhood.

#4 Your crush's friends are being protective

If you do your research on this person you have a crush on, you will probably find out more about their past, their old relationships.

The friends of your crush look at you all the time because they want to observe you. They want to make sure that you are not like all the other toxic people their friends have dated so far.

In their past relationships, your crush probably faced a toxic partner multiple times. Staying with a toxic person can be a source of trauma. Their friends are just trying to protect them from getting hurt again.

Like any other person, whenever your crush had a broken heart, their friends were there for them. I think the same happens with you too. That's what friends are for.

#5 Someone else in that group is interested in you

Now, this is a bit tricky. Your crush has got no idea about your crush. Instead, one of their friends is interested in you. They look at you because they think you are interested in them too.

This is a messed-up situation that needs to be addressed immediately before more confusion occurs. You should act upon it before it is too late.

It can also be that this particular friend of your crush knows that you have a crush on someone else but will probably try to hit on you by convincing you that your crush doesn't have feelings for you.

There is a chance that this person will try to manipulate both sides. If you suspect anything like this, don't step into the trap. If possible, warn your crush about this betrayer. By doing this, you might even get closer to your crush on the sly.

#6 They are spying on you

The situation is no longer confined to observations and watching. Your crush is spying on you now.

Your crush's friends look at you all the time. Secretly, you might even find it cute. But the cuteness wanes off when you find yourself at the receiving end of a harmful obsession.

Your crush is obsessed with finding "the one." The obsession has reached the level where any suitable person in whom they are interested will have to bear the brunt of it.

They are spying on you because they want to know whether you are perfect for them or not. Their friends help them with this. These friends look at you and follow you around to gather the maximum amount of information on you.

#7 They are suspicious of your weird behavior

We all behave weirdly around our crushes. Remember the last time you tried to make a conversation with them? You made a complete fool of yourself, like Chandler saying "Gum would be perfection" to Jill Goodacre in the locked-up ATM vestibule.

Your crush has probably found you strange and, therefore, has made you a topic of conversation. Their friends know you as the weird person who threw the chocolate bar in the trash and tried to eat the wrapper.

There is nothing to worry about. Once you collect yourself and stop being clumsy all the time, the suspicion about you being a weirdo will go. However, never totally change yourself for anyone. Your weirdness makes you who you are.

#8 Your crush is interested in you

Great news! Your crush is definitely interested in you. They know about how you feel and are trying to know you better. They are too shy to face you directly. That's why they have employed their friends to watch you.

They need a way to approach you, and for that, they first need to confirm that you truly have a crush on them. Otherwise, they might end up making a complete fool of themselves.

Their friends look at you for that confirmation of having a crush in your behavior. They are no need to worry about this.

What to do next?

A random group of people is staring at you. Such a situation can be extremely uncomfortable. If your crush's friends are looking at you, there must be some reason for that.

First of all, you need to know the reason; only then can you act on it. When you decide to do something about all the staring, you will either have a positive or a negative approach. Your future with your crush depends on that. Here is a list of things you can do.

#1 Directly go and talk to your crush

Walk over that distance filled with chairs between your table and the one occupied by the staring faces. Talk to the person in whom you are interested.

Don't be shy like Monica Geller around Jean-Claude Van Damme in the second season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. That will only end up delaying things, and you might even end up losing this person to someone else.

Your crush probably knows about your feelings. They have talked about you with their friends. While they are staring at you, they are probably talking about you too.

If you don't find the situation comfortable, you can go and talk to your crush directly about it. Tell them how you feel and your discomfort in getting stared at all the time.

#2 Wait for your crush to admit their feelings

This is a wise thing to do. Wait for your crush to admit their feelings. But be careful. Don't wait too much, or else you will end up like Ross from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.—eternally waiting for Rachel to say "yes."

If your crush is really interested in you, they will reciprocate by telling you how they feel. Once that happens, there is no looking back.

They are making their friends spy on you probably because they have already started liking you. If they had no interest, they would have ignored you entirely.

Some people take more time to admit their feelings. All you need to do is, give them a little space and time to think about the matter and come to a conclusion.

#3 Try to be a bit more mysterious

They stare at you to know more about you. What is life without a little mystery? However, you don't have to give away all your information about yourself at once. Take your time in doing that.

Make them wait for the next bit of information. I know hiding things from them will be difficult with them looking at you all the time, but it is doable. Stay quiet and observe them for a while. You should also have some information about your crush. Work on that.

The shroud of mystery around you will attract them more, and they might even end up talking to you first. That will definitely be a win.

#4 Ask your friends to stare at them

They get what they do. If your crush's friends keep on staring at you, ask your friends to stare at them. Make them feel how you have been feeling. Make them uncomfortable enough the look away.

Most people are not fine with getting stared at. It invades one's personal space one's privacy. If you are that person, you should stand up for yourself and do something to stop them from looking at you all the time.

If your friends are successful in making them uncomfortable, they will definitely look the other way. With this, they will get a taste of their own medicine.

#5 Check if your crush actually knows about your feelings

Before taking any decision related to your crush, always check if they know about your feelings. There are high chances that they know about how you feel and have told their friends, which causes all the constant staring.

But if they don't know, then you will make a complete fool of yourself whenever you act on this issue. Their friends could be looking at you for an entirely different reason. Coincidentally, someone in their group must have fallen for you, causing them to stare.

Gather information about the group from a common friend and check if your crush actually knows about your feelings.

#6 Ask them to stop spying

If you feel violated by all the spying, directly ask your crush to stop doing that. Clearly tell them that this behavior makes you uncomfortable, and rethink your choices.

Tell them that they are behaving like the creepy Joe Goldberg from the Netflix show You, and that is definitely not a good comparison.

You don't want to date a person who spies on you even before the mere mention of a possible relationship. They are making their friends follow you to your doorstep. That's creepy and textbook signs of a toxic person. This is the biggest red sign. Act on it before it is too late.

Ask your crush to stop spying on you. Tell them, it would not bring any good to this relationship that has not even begun.

#7 Stop acting weird around your crush

Being clumsy and weird is cute. That's what Hollywood has taught us in all the rom-coms. Remember Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada? She was this clumsy, weird, and immensely cute person. She was lovable.

That's it. She was lovable with that personality. It might not be your thing. If you do things like that suddenly, that will make you look like you are acting for an invisible audience, and the acting is not even good.

Do not copy that! Grow your own brand of clumsiness. Copying someone else, especially the popular movie characters, will make you look like a living, breathing joke. Stop being weird around your crush intentionally.

Instead, you can directly approach them to talk about your feelings in a calm manner. That might even be the beginning of a legend-wait-for-it-ary relationship.

#8 Check if anyone else from that group is interested in you

This is important. Your crush's friends are looking at you, but that doesn't always mean your crush knows about your feelings. There can be other reasons too.

I am going to talk about the most annoying and frustrating one. One of your crush's friends has a crush on you, and that's why all of them are looking at you across the cafeteria.

Not getting the needed attention from your crush can be a frustrating thing. If you are really into them, you will have to approach the person who has no idea about your feelings. But your heart will be at stake in this case. If they start feeling the same for you, then it is fine— you are in for a new fairy tale. But if they don't reciprocate, you will have to accept that with a broken heart.

But look on the bright side. Someone else is interested in you, and they might even be a nice person. Maybe even nicer than the person you originally had a crush on. They can be a path to the fairy tale romance you were looking for (also a typical rom-com scenario).

Summing up

Behaving weird around your crush is quite common, and so is the fact that their friends will stare at you. It is a typical rom-com scenario. But when all the staring and spying on you cross the limit of civility, you need to act on it swiftly. 

You have a crush on someone. The matter should be resolved solely between the two of you. The involvement of their friends can only complicate matters. However, if you are fine with all the added attention that you are getting, you can go with the flow for as long as you want.

Nirajana Mukherjee

Senior Writer

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