My Boyfriend is Making Me Fat on Purpose [SOLUTIONS]He is doing this because of his insecurities. He is one of those people who think being fat is undesirable. He knows who you are and that you can do better than him. Trying to make you fat is his messed-up way of making you look unattractive to most people.
People in comfortable relationships often grow too familiar with each other. They order some pizza, turn on the TV and curl up in a blanket. They grow fat together (because, honestly, they have no one to impress). This is a pretty common scenario. But the problem arises when your boyfriend tries to make you fat with the sole intention of controlling your life.
Unfortunately, most people associate weight gain with ugliness. In F.R.I.E.N.D.S season five, there was this episode with flashbacks about the worst Thanksgiving. In one of those memories, Chandler made fun of Monica because she was fat, only to ogle at her when she lost a considerable amount of weight the following year.
The common mentality about weight gain is mostly negative, and that’s what your boyfriend is using against you. He is insecure in this relationship. He is trying to make you fat to ensure you stay with him.
Ten reasons why your boyfriend is making you fat on purpose
Your boyfriend’s attempt to make you fat can be intentional or unintentional. Unfortunately, most reasons point towards the fact that he is doing this intentionally to keep you in his life. He is an extremely insecure person, and this is a textbook example of toxic behavior.
If you take a peek into his mind, you might be surprised at its complex nature. He thinks convolutedly, which often results in situations like this. However, you can also be the source of your problems. Surprised? Eager to know the reasons? I will help you with that. Read on.
#1 You have adapted his unhealthy eating habits
If you have adopted his unhealthy eating habits, he is not actually making you fat on purpose. The better way of explaining the situation would be ─ he has influenced you in a bad way.
You are gaining weight because you eat French fries for dinner instead of a salad. You have forgotten the taste of the chicken soup. Instead, you binge on greasy chicken wings with him while watching TV.
It is not entirely his fault. He never forced you to eat unhealthy meals. He chooses to eat it because he is responsible for his health. So are you. You can’t blame him for your lack of conviction in eating healthy.
#2 He wants to make you look “unattractive”
Most people still think being fat is undesirable. Unfortunately, your boyfriend is one of them. He is trying to make you fat on purpose because he wants to make you look “unattractive.” Now, this can have two reasons.
- He wants to keep you for himself – He is obsessed with you and wants to ensure that you stay with him forever. His messed-up mind tells him, “Nobody will want a fat person.” He feels happy and content, thinking he will get to keep you for the rest of eternity. This is quite dehumanizing for you.
- He will leave you once you grow fat – He has acquired some grudge against you. Trying to make you fat is a part of his elaborate plan. His messed-up mind comes into the picture again as the idea behind all of this is to make you “ugly.” He will leave you once you turn undesirable to his eyes. He is waiting for you to gain weight.
#3 He is insecure
He feels insecure about his place in your life. He thinks you will leave him when you find someone better. Therefore, he has pledged to make you fat to ensure your stay in his life.
He needs to get over his insecurity. His old-fashioned mind needs a major makeover. He is living in the 1950s with ideas like “being fat is undesirable” and “an attractive lady should have a narrow waist.” He should snap out of it because it is 2022, for crying out loud!
#4 He is unaware of the health issues caused by weight gain
He leads an unhealthy life and is now trying to invite you into it. He is not aware of the health implications caused by weight gain. He is just a foodie who loves to have a pizza with a side dish of chicken wings.
He wants you to try out new cuisine now and then because he wants to share his love for food. He is not making you fat on purpose. He is showing his affection, and, in the process, you are gaining weight because his affection comes with food.
He doesn’t care about heart diseases and sky-rocketing cholesterol. He is not worried about fatty liver or orthopedic problems resulting from weight gain and greasy food.
#5 He loves to spoil you
He loves feeding you. You are a foodie at heart, and he loves to spoil you with all the food you like. He never refuses to bring you a pizza when you crave one. He is the dream partner. Isn’t he? But that’s not why you are here.
He is good, but his indulgence is leading you toward obesity. You have finally realized that, and that’s why you are here, looking for reasons and solutions.
Both of you are equally guilty here. As a responsible adult, you should be able to control your cravings. You are not a kid anymore. On the other hand, he should stop bringing food to your beck and call. Also, he should be able to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy food.
#6 He is imposing his eating habits on you
This is a matter of concern. He is imposing his eating habits on you. He lives an unhealthy life (food-wise) and is now forcing you to do the same.
This will be a problem, especially if you have been eating healthy all your life. Of course, a platter of unhealthy food is way tastier than a healthy salad bowl. But the taste is not everything. That platter full of greasy processed meats will eventually make you sick. It is detrimental to your boyfriend’s health, too.
#7 He has no regard for your health
He doesn’t care about your health. This can be said when he feeds you greasy, unhealthy food while chewing on salads. He never forgets to eat healthily.
This can happen when he is responsible for cooking the meals. You can’t cook; therefore, he takes advantage of the situation by ordering take-out for you at most times. He cooks instant things like mac and cheese and noodles.
He does this to save hours of cooking. Salads are easy to make. He makes that for one and feeds you cheap street food. Now that you know the reason behind his behavior, step up to defend your health and think twice about staying in this relationship.
#8 He is trying to control your life
He is trying to gain control over your life by controlling what you eat. He decides what to eat all the time. You prefer to eat healthily, but since you have started living with him, that habit is slowly going down the drain.
He likes cheeseburgers and pizzas with extra toppings. His comfort food is mac and cheese. He wants you to stop bringing veggies into his apartment. He can’t stand the smell of boiled broccoli. He wants to ban all kinds of fruits and vegetables from now on. In a way, he is trying to dictate your life.
#9 He wants you to look the way he likes
He wants you to gain weight because he likes fat people. This might happen if you were fat when you guys met and lost weight over a period of time. He never liked that.
You lost weight because of health issues. You wanted to get fit. He was upset over your lost weight. Now he wants to feed you into gaining weight. He won’t say anything directly, but he will keep on feeding you unhealthy stuff in the guise of love. He wants you to look the way he likes.
#10 He wants to break up with you
It’s all part of a plan to break up with you. He wants to feed you into getting fat, and he will break up with you when you gain weight, citing that as an issue.
He is an extremely shallow person who doesn’t value relationships. He has no regard for human emotions. He is done with you and wants to have a new partner now.
His shallow mind thinks that being fat is equal to being unattractive. Therefore, he has planned to make you fat so that he can dump you for a “reason.”
What to do when he is making you fat on purpose?
You are here looking for answers, and that means you have already identified the problem in your relationship. You just don’t know the reason why he is doing this. However, once you get to know it, you will be able to deal with the situation in a calm way.
If you don’t want to gain weight, you will have to ask him to stop doing whatever his messed-up way of thinking is telling him to do. Make it clear that you are not his puppet. Scroll down to read a few ways (that I have curated for you) to deal with the situation.
#1 Stick to your fitness routine
Gaining or losing weight is totally up to you. He wants to feed you unhealthy stuff to make you gain weight. Just don’t let him do that. He can’t force-feed your cheeseburgers.
Say “no” firmly and stick to your fitness routine. Your absolute disregard for his plans will probably make him take a step back. Make him realize that he has no right to interfere in your life, especially about what you eat and drink.
#2 Talk to him about your eating habits
If he tries to spoil you with food, ask him to find another way to show his affection. You can say that politely, in a way that won’t hurt his feelings.
Talk to him about your life and eating habits. Tell him how difficult it was for you to lose weight with your severe eating disorder.
If he truly loves you, he will understand. He might even stop taking take-outs, so you don’t get enticed by the delicious but unhealthy fast food.
#3 Educate him about the health implications
If he is not aware of the health issues caused by eating unhealthy food, educate him about the same. Tell him about the diseases caused by fat accumulation in the body.
The greasy bacon he eats (makes you eat) in the morning is detrimental to his health. Tell him that both of you should eat healthily to live longer.
You can also make him browse about heart diseases and the concept of cholesterol. Talk to him about liver ailments and the painful future if you keep eating unhealthy food at this rate.
If you feel he has already reached a point of saturation, take him to the doctor for an immediate check-up.
#4 Talk to him about his insecurities
Have a conversation with him about his insecurities. He loves you but is always afraid of losing you to someone better. Ask him, “What do you mean by the word better?”
Assure him that there is nothing to be afraid of. Tell him that you love him and that he is the best thing that ever happened to you (only if you want to, or only if it is true).
However, you should also keep one thing in your mind ─ he to make you fat to keep you in his life. That means he thinks being fat is bad. This kind of archaic mentality is not acceptable in 2022. Think twice before you decide to carry on with this relationship.
#5 Ask him to stop ordering junk food all the time
Junk food is detrimental to our health. Everybody knows that, including your boyfriend. But he still chooses to order food from restaurants and diners every day. As he is in charge of food, you are forced to eat that too.
This needs to stop. Tell him how you feel about the situation. Junk food has weakened your digestive system. Ask him to consider the condition of your health before he orders that cheeseburger again.
#6 Tell him that he can’t control your life
He wants to control what you eat and drink. Tell him, “Just because you are in charge of the kitchen doesn’t mean you will decide what I will eat and drink.”
He should realize that food is an extremely personal thing and you should be able to eat what you like. Tell him that you might move out if this force-feeding of unhealthy food goes on.
#7 Tell him that he needs to change his way of thinking
This is 2022, for crying out loud. But your boyfriend is still lagging behind in the1950s, with an archaic mindset. He needs to keep up with the world. He thinks making you fat would turn you ugly, and that way, he will be able to keep you with him forever.
Tell him how wrong he is and that you might leave him for good if he fails to change how he thinks. This is no longer the world where Chandler gets to marry Monica after fat-shaming her. He literally made her stop eating. Monica’s weight loss was a conscious decision that made her fit. But that doesn’t make Chandler right. He was wrong to call her fat, and so is your boyfriend when he thinks he can turn you “ugly” with his willpower.
#8 Start living healthy together
Discard all unhealthy habits and choose a healthy lifestyle together. Visit the nearest farmer’s market to pick up fresh fruits and vegetables. Look for recipes on YouTube as an inspiration for healthy cooking.
However, you can have a cheat day to gorge on all that you love once in a while. Gaining weight brings in a lot of health implications. If you want to avoid that, nothing works better than a healthy diet and a bit of exercise.
#9 Tell him that he can’t change how you look
If he wants to stay in a relationship with you, he is required to accept you just as the way you are. He can’t change how you look.
He attempted to make you fat on purpose. If he has been with you for a considerable amount of time, he should be aware of how much effort you have put into losing weight. You worked hard for fitness, and he is trying to ruin that by enticing you with food. His attempts should be met with a big “NO” from your side.
#10 Break up with him before he does
He wants to make you fat so that he can break up with you. Now that you know his plan, break ties with him before he can make a move.
He is a shallow person who prioritizes a person’s looks over their personality. Make him feel bad for what he has done to you. You can even throw a few harsh words his way.
Try saying the following:
- You are one of the worst people I have ever met.
- You don’t deserve me. I thought you were different, but you turned out to be worse than my ex.
- Not even my worst enemy should have the misfortune of dating you.
- Don’t ever try to contact me again.
To sum up
Gaining weight is never a healthy lifestyle choice. If your boyfriend fails to understand that, you need to stand up for yourself. Make sure he knows the side effects of gaining weight and ask him to stop whatever he is doing to make you fat.
A relationship is built on mutual trust. If he does this because of his insecurities, there is a lot to think about. This relationship might turn toxic someday.