Disappearing After Being Dumped: Does It Make My Ex Curious?Making a temporary disappearance after being dumped can be effective if you come out of a long-term relationship without closure. In a long-term relationship, neither of you could have been faking your emotions. The bet is that your ex will realize their mistake and come back looking for you.
Relationships' longevity, while it cannot be estimated, leaves one open to dire consequences if the end is hasty. Matters of the heart are always delicate, and there are times one finds themselves in a dilemma as to whether to look for the good of their own or of the ones they love, for life can put the two interests in paradoxical situations.
We have a natural tendency to try and overcome our vulnerability. We hate to feel that low, and as an attempt to heal ourselves, we disappear from social media and from the life of that person who has been the cause of our suffering.
However, when we sit to reflex, or when we feel lonely sitting alone on the floor of a dark room, we wonder what they might be thinking or if it's all worth it. At times like these, when you don't feel like discussing your problems with anyone, your mind keeps hammering.
In this blog post, I will attempt to address all of your concerns and assist you in locating appropriate solutions. Take a deep breath, and scroll down to continue reading.
Consequences of making a disappearance after getting dumped
A sudden disappearance after changing your relationship status to single would make it clear in the open that you were too invested and attached to the person. As society loves to gossip, the word will spread like a forest fire.
It is better to consider the consequences of making a disappearance before attempting it. I've discussed and covered the most probable ones before. Scroll down to continue reading.
#1 You are weak
When you suddenly disappear after your breakup, the direct message you send to the world is that you are weak. However, kindly remember that your weakness makes you human.
Bear in mind that during this disappearance, your intention should be to gain back control of your life. You should grieve, for not grieving will keep you low and distracted.
However, most of all, remember it's a phase. And, in the same way, you make a person your weakness, you can make yourself your pillar of strength.
In a phase like this, you need to have your back. Don't question your choices; what's done is done. Revisiting the past can be traumatic. From this point on, all your endeavors should be to push you forward towards new destinies.
#2 You are below the point of vulnerability
It is the red mark, indicating that you are sinking deep beneath. It signals to your loved ones that they must not desert you at this instant. At this point, you need the ones who are your well-wishers, not the ones who are fake and hypocrites.
This is the time when you will be able to filter your friend circle. The true ones will put in extra effort to stick by your side, even when you give them a hard time. They will be there to offer their shoulder when you cry.
#3 You are not ready for a new relationship
If you're popular and there's a long list of admirers waiting for you to admit them into your life, this disappearance would signal no confidence for them. It will indicate that though you are single, it doesn't mean that you are ready to mingle.
It will give you some relief in life, and you can take a break from the pitfalls of relationships for good.
#4 You are not a hypocrite
This can mean that you don't want to pretend to be happy or do well in life when your heart is broken. You don't fear acknowledging that you made a wrong choice and gave your heart to someone who didn't know how to handle it well.
This would also suggest that whoever wants to win your heart this time must work extra hard to build your trust in love.
#5 You are hurt
It would indicate that you loved that person dearly, and you are tremendously disappointed by the way you have been treated. It is equal to making a social proclamation about the unfair behavior and showing that it's a big deal for you.
This has its pros. People wanting to date someone tender-hearted will come looking for you. At that moment, don't shut the door on them. The first rule of love is to offer it second chances.
#6 It takes a long time to heal
Your prolonged absence would indicate your over-attachment. People would assume that you were either in a live-in or making plans to move in together when the breakup happened.
This would give you the extra time you might need for the healing process. Your colleagues will be kind to you, and people will mind their tongues before you.
#7 You blame social networking platforms
Often, we blame social media platforms not only for being a source of distraction but also for some of the tragedies that occur in our lives.
If you are among the lot, you will need to disengage yourself from these platforms. It is important to note here that you are not the only one who thinks themselves to be the victim. Many like you have undergone this and worse.
However, it's on you to make your journey different. When you give a comeback, be stronger and smarter. This current phase of your life should be a turning point, and it's on you to ensure that the journey after this is upward and on.
#8 You don't want to stalk your ex
If you are markedly absent from the message board of any platform, it is crystal clear that you don't have any intention of stalking your ex.
You have understood that your life is better without them. Now, you would like the world to know the same. At least the mutual ones would receive your message.
#9 You want your ex to miss you
If you are not over your ex and still clinging to the hope that the breakup is rather temporary, the disappearance can be a tactic to make them feel your absence.
Naturally, we miss someone more when we don't know their whereabouts. This happens all the more when this someone is the person you used to spend all your days with.
#10 You will mature as a person
It is an indication that the time has come when you focus a great deal on important things, that is, the things that count and matter in real life and will lead to your growth and betterment.
One must not get too disheartened over a breakup because that's an everyday occurrence. Life or time has never stopped for anyone, and neither should you.
#11 You need therapy
It might indicate that you are up for detoxification and that this is your way to undergo some virtual therapy. However, some actual therapy should do you good too.
It will relax your mind because, naturally, you might have a lot of emotions pent up inside that need to be flowed out.
#12 It was advice from your counselor
Perhaps it was advice from your counselor, who has seen many such cases happen and get worse over time. If your ex ditched you and if they are already seeing someone, it will take a toll on your mental health. At such times, we don't think straight.
Will your ex still miss you if you disappear?
The biggest concern, after looking for your well-being, would be if your ex misses you when you disappear. The stakes are higher than they should be. Remember, it's not merely you who is undergoing heartbreak.
Even if your ex dumped you, they might have reasons for doing so. Let us find out what about you they will miss the most and why.
#1 Your constant pampering of them
The answer is yes! They will miss you even if they don't show it. You cannot miss someone you have known for so long and loved so strongly.
#2 Your morning and night texts
One gets addicted to the text messages that wish them good morning and night. It tastes better than their morning latte. When this incoming stops suddenly, it might well-up one's eyes.
#3 The intimacy you shared
It is not easy to get intimate. You can be mean to anyone, but sharing a certain level of intimacy necessitates much more. You must share the same wavelength. When they encounter new people, they will miss the intimacy they have shared with you, and they might even tell them about you.
#4 You beside them in their room
If you were to live with your ex, they sure would miss your presence in their room beside them. You must have that comfortable, cozy spot where your name was written. They might still not occupy that space because, though you are not with them, they keep you in your heart.
That said, kindly remember that sometimes in life, we must part ways with people for reasons other than love. Your ex might have ditched you not because they were out of love for you but because some reality check has been unkind to them.
#5 The Kisses in the Morning
There's nothing better than the soft morning kisses when you salivate your lover's face and make them overwhelmed. That is always missed, no matter the distance. That is when the tears start running down your eyes, but you fail to figure out why you are crying over something you wanted to do.
#6 The food you cooked
Food is the first love; all other love seconds it. If you were a good cook, and you fixed your ex's tiffin or meals, they would certainly miss it. That's a sort of parental affection that happens when you get into a person's skin.
#7 Sharing photos of yourself
If you look great together, they will miss posting photos of you as lovers. Moreover, if their Instagram was flooded with your pictures and you were the ideal couple, it is going to be difficult for them too to continue making an appearance online.
#8 Making your favorite latte
If your ex used to make your lattes and top them with smiles and hearts, they might still do so unconsciously, only to realize you are no longer with them to enjoy it. Making your favorite latte puts a smile on their face enough to brighten their day.
#9 Taking a look at you
Don't be surprised when you read that. If you have that adorable face with moles and freckles that makes your skin charming, they can never get enough of your look.
Ever wonder why people like to keep paintings? Standing in front of it and looking at it brings them aesthetic pleasure. You are their aesthetic pleasure. They sure are going to regret not getting you painted.
#10 Gossiping and making new explorations with you as their constant
You can't gossip with everyone. If your ex regarded you as their best friend, they would suffer a double loss. They might be regretting this every second. While they can find another partner, finding a best friend will be next to impossible.
However, no matter what happens and how it turns out to be, whether your ex makes a return to your life or not, life shall be by your side, and you must value it. Do not let go of your inner strength, and you must vouch for it. Begin the process of healing. How to do it? Scroll down to continue reading.
How to initiate the process of healing?
Delve deeper and delve inside yourself after a temporary withdrawal from the world and your immediate surroundings; that's how you shall not only initiate the healing process but also collect and glue all the broken pieces.
Amazingly, there's not just one but many ways to do it. Keep reading!
#1 Try to accept that it is normal for many relationships (if it is covered in any other points, please delete)
Acceptance is how it must begin. I said it above, and I'm reiterating it here, heartbreaks are a daily occurrence, whereas therapy and pulling the strings back together aren't.
When something monotonous and generic happens to you, restructure it into something wholesome and wonderful.
Remember, you can create your destiny. Rule by will, not by norms.
#2 Accept that moving from a breakup is tough, time taking, and painful
While accepting the breakup is traumatizing, realizing that the healing process shall be long and painful is step two. Approve the facts and work on the goals. The goal is to heal. Be ready to do all that it takes to achieve your goal.
#3 Introspect more
Rather than focusing on the whys and how's of others or the society, look inside. Talk to your inner self. Calm it. Soothe it. Tell your inner voice that you shall never abandon it.
Realize its importance. Understand that your inner voice must be voiced through you. If it wants you to cry, cry it a river, but at no cost, stop heeding it.
#4 Write a diary - let your emotions out
If talking to yourself doesn't come easy, or you don't know where and how to begin it, write yourself a diary. Begin by writing journals. Eventually, start making random footnotes associated with anything worth remembering.
Gradually, you will find yourself comfortable spilling out the ink onto paper without thinking twice. When you read it again, it will bring back to you tons of unacknowledged emotions, but most of all, you shall realize that you are happy and you have initiated the process of healing.
#5 Listen to soothing songs
Songs can evoke many feelings and take you into a trance. It will help you revisit memories, take a solo journey, and seek friendship. You will live and relive life once again with the help of music. The power of music can never be underestimated.
Taking it a step further, while listening to the music, don't mind humming the tune, getting up, and flaring on with the beats. Let yourself loose. That's the most important thing here. You must realize you belong to none, not even to yourself. Letting go will become so much simpler.
#6 Eat well at regular intervals to stay fit.
Don't compromise on your health. Keeping fit is important for you to function. Cook your meals or Swiggy them. But don't compromise on eating.
If you forget to eat, set daily reminders. Eating sumptuous and healthy food will bring you sound sleep, and sleep itself can be therapeutic.
#7 Practice frequent meditation
Meditation will calm your mind. You can meditate in your house, under a tree, or at a nearby park while sitting on dewy grass. You can use a candle to focus your attention if you are a beginner.
Along with meditation, try deep breathing exercises. You must learn to control your emotions through your breath. You can play a mantra or soft music, something instrumental perhaps, to give it a go.
#8 Spend more time with family and friends.
When you feel broken and disheartened, spending time with your family, close friends, or even at your friend's house can bring you comfort. Perhaps a visit to your ancestral home or to see your grandparents would bring you more joy and comfort than anything in the world.
#9 Read poetry
Reading poetry can be a nice way to keep your mind engaged and distracted from low-born tasks. Read poetry easily, and your mind will be stimulated in well-lit lanes. You will feel refreshed, and it will help you sync back to normal life again.
#10 Go for trekking
Trekking will be adventurous and give you a nice opportunity to meet new people. These people would not talk to you about your past. They won’t be prejudiced against you. It will make you feel free and lively.
If you don’t like trek, go for a solo vacation at a beach. The ebb and flow of the tidal waves will bring you harmony and peace. You will feel calm and at ease with nature. Nature will rapidly help you overcome this lonely phase.
#10 Modify your wardrobe
Reorient everything that goes into your make-up. A change in dressing style could be a way to begin.
Try new shades. If you usually wear blue and gray, switch to bright colors or pastel fabrics. You must enjoy getting dressed and making an appearance before the world.
While you have suddenly disappeared after getting dumped and are perhaps inactive on social networking platforms, you should still be the talk of the town, but not for your breakup, as an inspiring person with a dandy style.
#11 Get a new hairstyle
A new hairstyle would equal redoing your face and changing your style. This could be fun too. Try some vibrant colors and get your hair curled or make some spikes. Experiment with it and let it amuse you.
#12 Let go of the memories and move on.
Take it on yourself that it has been your doing. You have put yourself in this muddle, and now it is your turn to get out of it. What’s done cannot be undone. However, a fresh start will lead you to a place better than this.
Making a disappearance is easy; sticking by it is difficult. If you choose to do it anyway, do it yourself, not because you want your ex to miss you. Do it for the right reasons, which should be to heal yourself.