Jealousy Vs Territorial: What's the Difference in a Relationship?It's the same difference that differentiates strength and weakness. Jealousy will make your partner your weakness and keep you vulnerable. Being territorial, on the other hand, will imbibe a higher romance mingled with trust and wholesome togetherness.
A jealous relationship will always puncture doubts and question marks on the partner's actions. A territorial relationship will be full of assertions, declarations, and promises. There will be explanations but little or no room for questions.
The former is a young relationship that seeds out of lust. The latter is a much more mature form of love where you've overcome the base emotions with a person, and you are ready to make it big.
While one is always confused with the other, asserting the fine lines of difference will help you make better choices. Keep reading to identify these lines and use them in your romantic life.
What does jealousy mean in a relationship?
Jealousy in a relationship means an upcoming disaster. While it is generally assumed that if you are not jealous in your relationship, you don't love the person with your all. But trust me, that's just a childish notion.
When you aim for perfection, there's no room for jealousy. You must build your relationship on trust and love. This can be done when you learn to become a giver. Once you overcome thinking about your gains, you learn to give. The moment you learn to provide, the world will become a happy place.
Let us find out how to determine whether you are in a jealous relationship.
When the reason for your fight is other people
Having arguments, getting into fights, or a tug war isn't unhealthy in a relationship. But when the reason behind those fights is a third person, it becomes lethal.
At this point, it is essential to understand that jealousy is multifaceted. It does not merely mean being jealous of a potential lover of your partner or their school crush.
It can also mean that you are jealous of your partner's mother because she is their priority over you. Such forms of jealousy are unreasonable. Remember, you cannot and must not ask your partner to choose between their best friend and you.
Such third-person triggering in a relationship shows how hollow your relationship is. You must replace it with such depth that even if a third person comes in between, they could sail back to the shore without the need of anyone drowning.
Your love must be beautiful, attractive, energetic, and positive. You must be the ideal couple. The journey is difficult and has its share of challenges, but it is worth it.
When a lack of understanding initiates arguments
When the argument seeds from a lack of understanding, it is unwarranted. Mutual understanding is the essence of a powerful relationship. You should have arguments to explain your partner your viewpoint, not to counter their point or be dismissive about it.
The understanding must be such that both perspectives exist. You must cordially decide which of the two would be most suitable and in your favor. This should be done by weighing the pros and cons against each other. There must not be any selfish motives beneath it.
When you feel cloistered and suffocated for lack of space
If at any point in time, you or your partner finds it difficult to breathe and needs space, it is natural. What is unnatural and uncalled for is the inability to convey this need to each other.
You must understand the importance of giving more room or taking a break. But if the thought of this break or moments spent during this break clouds your mind with insecure doubts where you begin to imagine your partner having an affair, it's unfair and not acceptable.
You must have the ability to detach yourself from your situation and analyze the episode from an outsider's eye. That way, you will not feel weak or helpless. It will aid you in making wise decisions.
When comparisons are made
Relationships must be made of compromises and not comparisons. When you begin to compare your partner with someone else, or your bond with someone else's, it makes your relationship fragile.
Your motive should always be to set new goals and raise the bar high, not vice versa. When you find your partner drawing a comparison, break their thoughts by calling yourself an exception. Make them promise to do better than others.
When kind words are occasional
When you are always complaining rather than appreciating each other's efforts, it has deeper meanings and consequences. It means that you are not happy in your relationship or feel you deserve better.
Kindness is theoretical. You cannot force someone to be kind, but when you practice it yourself, the other person will learn and adapt.
Remember, kindness is powerful and magical. It can help to remake relationships. Wonder what it can do to already established relationships. Make it a habit of appreciating at least two things about your partner before going to bed, and you are certain to have sweet dreams.
When the makeout is always rough
Makeout is supposed to give you pleasure, but it is also supposed to comfort you. While making out, you must feel so loved that it makes you feel reborn.
If the sessions with your partner are always rough, it suggests that there are things inside either of you that are going without pronunciation. The lack of utterance is reflected at the time you get intimate.
The soft love might be going in someone else's way. What your relationship needs at this juncture are conversations. A hearty talk will help you to open up to one another in ways where makeout fail.
You must feel more like soulmates. When you don't feel it, you are merely hunting for each other. It is superficial.
When you have sleepless nights
If your partner is by your side yet you're having sleepless nights while your partner is fast asleep, there's room for improvement in your relationship. This suggests that you feel lonely even in the presence of someone you are sharing your bed with.
It's not a healthy sign, and it can worsen by making you prone to depression if you don't open up about it. Ask yourself why is this happening? Do you feel insecure? Are you taken up with guilt? Are you mentally dwelling on a different place with someone else while making out with your partner?
At this juncture, it is strongly advisable to see a therapist or a relationship counselor. When you fail to figure out what's getting wrong, seek help. Asking your partner if they, too, feel such a change might be a good start. You are making them aware of your disturbed state, and that can be because of the look they give to someone else in your presence.
Yes, it can be as minor an incident as that which is causing all the trouble. You are jealous. Your partner hasn't given you that lusty or love-filled look in a long time. When you see for a moment that looks granted to someone else, this person can be a colleague, a fan, a friend, and you are burnt to the core.
When you feel weak and insecure
If you feel broken while committed, you are not correctly committed. Your sense of commitment shall bring you strength. It should not make you weak or insecure.
This happens when the relationship does not spring from the seeds of trust. It means that you do not trust your partner. You question their intent. You wonder if they are truly what they surface themselves to be.
This lack of trust might not be because of how your partner behaves but because of how society works. You have seen your parents', friends', and colleagues' relationships fall and fail, and you are scared for life not to undergo a similar pain.
Remember, when you give too much importance to doubts, they shall turn into smoke and suffocate you. Don't be too prejudiced. Let life surprise you. Every pain comes with the medicine. Don't scare yourself so much that it tricks your mind into assuming things that are not applicable in your case.
What does territorial mean in a relationship?
When you can't tell one from another, it's territorialism. When you pair your outfits with your partner; when you like spicy, and your partner likes sweet, you order something sweet and spicy; when you don't need to eye another because your eyes are always on your special one; when the world knows and celebrates you, it means you are in a territorial relationship.
I'm sharing a few ways in which you would be able to understand if you share a territorial bond with your partner or not. Keep reading to know more.
When you are each other's support system
When there's no second thought or no form of embarrassment in opening up to one another, you are like two open books whose pages are well-read by you; that's when you become each other's support system.
You never get tired of taking the load or sharing it. Moreover, you are always checking on your partner. You are well aware of their weakness or things that put them off.
Neither of your minds hustles or moves the extra mile for their sake. It doesn't stress you out, and rather you feel happy about it. In such a relationship, jealousy will have little to no room because you have occupied one another.
When there's honesty
When honesty doesn't scare you off, even if the truth is bitter, you can pierce through human nature and help yourself and your partner to become better.
Only an honest relationship is fearless. When there's nothing to hide, you won't be jealous. A practice that had helped my friend with her lover was sharing pictures of random good-looking, attractive people on the street.
They would play this 'check him/her out' game. This is what made them hot as a couple. They weren't scared of others' hotness. The base of human nature did not scare them. They acknowledged it and eventually learned to put up with it.
When you become the epitome of love for others
When others start celebrating you and follow your example, it's one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, and it means that your relationship is higher than any form of jealousy.
There will be pride in such love. There's no account of transactions in the form of time and effort. The only thing that counts is the precious smile of your partner.
You become the most superior form of alloy unearthed by human emotions—the time you spend with and without your partner experiences all forms of high and low tides. You know the thrill. It makes you salivate; you know the peace. It brings you restful sleep.
When you sleep peacefully
A good sleep calls for a stress-free mind. When either you or your partner are imbibed with feelings of jealousy, there is a high probability of having nightmares. Whereas, when you are over and above the base emotions, you are confident about the place you belong, and no one can steal your restful hours.
So when you are sleeping calmly with your partner in your arms, know that it's a win-win situation.
When your mind hums in their company
Know that phase when the birds twitter to you, the sun shines only for you, the wind likes to play with your hair, and the rain kisses every inch of your face? That's how it feels to be in love.
To be in a territorial relationship feels the same. This feeling does not fade away with time. You are forever grateful for the presence of your partner, and you still find it incredible that they chose you over others.
This fact, the choice, is enough to dispel any doubts. You feel loved, and you love to love. There's no superior feeling that can outdo this. It enables you to look at the brighter side in people and different situations.
When there is a mixture of soft and harsh romance
When you don't forget to kiss their forehead when there is no dominant rule about dominance, when things get quirky and fun with ease, you enjoy the high and low alike, and it's a perfectly balanced relationship.
When you experiment, learn, and implement all the possibilities with the same person, your focus shall remain on that person. You would know what makes your partner happy, what excites them, and what makes them want more.
In such a relationship, you never get bored. When there's no room for boredom, there's no space for deviation. All are happy and good. You know that you can take control because your partner belongs to you and vice versa. There's no hesitation, no second thought whatsoever.
When everyone knows you are committed and there's no room for doubts
When you're official dating, and people in your closed circle and Facebook friends and Instagram followers see you together as a couple, it's a territorial relationship. You often post pictures with each other. Perhaps you are also in a live-in relationship.
Everything is crystal clear, and your family is also involved. You're one of the blessed and happiest couples on earth. You vacay together, celebrate, and mourn together. Your reasons for happiness and sadness are shared.
You don't see your partner or their family as a different unit. Even if there's a cultural gap, you are keen to learn more and adapt. Your partner shares the spirit with you. You both feel blessed and look forward to taking it to the next level. More importantly, you're not scared of the future. You have it all planned.
When you dress as couples
When you like to flaunt as couples, there's an altogether different air around you. You dress in the same colors, and you are adored and admired by people of all ages.
When you do this, people might get jealous of you but not vice versa. You might radiate a lot of heat by raising the bar high wherever you go. You become the center of the eye. People can see you, and their eyes move in your direction, and you smile and blink. It's a happy story.
When you know each other's liking
It is important to be compatible in a relationship. But what is it that makes one compatible? It's when you either share the likes and dislikes with your partner, or you are mightily aware of their likes and dislikes, and you take special care to neither hurt their feelings yourself nor let any other do it.
You shield them. You play multiple roles to them. You are not just their partner but a lot more. A true friend, a mentor, a parent. You can do it all because you believe they deserve all and the best.
Final word, jealousy is how it begins. It is the aftermath of a young relationship. But when your heart truly desires the other person, modifications and adjustments are not far. You eventually move and begin your journey towards a territorial relationship. It is not declared. It's a mutual understanding that is appreciated with every passing day.